Chapter 3:
It was the middle of the night by the time Derpston trotted into her hut on the north end of Sweet Apple Acres. She lurked into her bed and let the darkness of Nightmare Moons night take her over.
Joan pushed her way out the door and squinted at the bright sunlight beaming down at her. “Jeez Celestia, will you ever give me a break.” She looked around the small village, nopony else was outside yet. But a wagon was sitting near the barn. Joan saw a little orange flash jump from in the wagon to in the barn and back and forth. Joan trotted closer and closer till she recognized that it was Gala who was there. She stopped and noticed Joan walking to her.
“Well, Mrs. Derpston how are you?”
Joan tipped her hat respectfully to Gala, “Good, Miss MacApple, how are you?”
Gala tossed a barrel she had dragged to the wagon in the back of it, “I’m heading down to ponyvile to sell some of the early harvest from up here. Would you like to accompany me back?”
Derpston looked over the wagon, “Why of course, it is about time I started paying you back for your hospitality and kindness.”
“I’ll pull the wagon; you can handle a rifle right?”
“I believe I can.”
“Good then you can sit in the back and watch my back, bandits been stirring up trouble in these parts.” Gala walked to the front and put the wagons harness around her body and Joan jumped in the wagons back. “So you been putting your life needlessly in danger lately?” she asked as she started to pull the wagon.
“No miss, I have not.”
Gala chuckled lightly, “Oh good! Maybe we have some hope left for you?”
“I wouldn’t bet on it” Joan picked up the rifle and rested it and her two front hooves on the back end of the wagon.
“There is always hope, Mrs. Derpston. You can’t live in this wonderland without believing that.”
“That’s an admirable attitude, Miss.”
“It’s the only way to stay sane out here to be frank, have you ever given up hope altogether?”
Joan dipped her head down and bit, “I don’t really think hope has ever entered the equation. It’s not something I really think about.
“That’s a…peculiar outlook. Can’t say I understand you though.”
“Can’t say I do either.”
“Now stop being so deliberately enigmatic.”
“Hope may not be in my dictionary, Miss MacApple. But enigmatic sure as hell is.”
Gala rolled her eyes at Joan, “I think its funny I save you from dying on the side of the road and now you’re my bodyguard.”
“You got yourself a strange sense of humor,” laughed Derpston.
“Well admit it…this is a very unusual way to start a friendship.”
“I didn’t know that we was friends, Miss MacApple.”
“Oh please! I don’t know what your business with Miss Dyslex is but I know for sure you ain’t like her or any of her bad apples.”
“And how do you know I ain’t still like her?”
“Well you haven’t shot me yet that’s one thing. You may have done some bad things but, what pony hasn’t.”
“There’s a valuable lesson I learned from being an outlaw, you do a pony wrong and he’ll shoot you. Do a pony right and….well he still may shoot you.”
“Ha! I’ve heard strange metaphors before but this is…” the road ahead was littered with broken wagon wheels and wagon parts, a small pool of blood lay in the middle of the road, but no bodies, no animal or ponies were to be seen in the area. “Keep your eyes straight Joan, this doesn’t look to pretty.”
Joan scouted the right side of the road; it was a thick and evil looking forest. Joan squinted her eyes, something was in there, and something was moving. The sun glared off of a metallic object, a weapon! “Gala take cover!” BANG! Joan fired the rifle at the object and hit what ever was holding it. Then, gunfire riddled the road side as a small group of ponies showed themselves and began firing on the wagon. Gala had thrown off the wagon harness and was hiding behind the wagon.
“Joan toss me your revolver.” Joan threw her revolver over to Gala, she caught it and started firing at there assailants. Joan closed her eyes for a minute and thought to herself, Concentrate, Concentrate, Concentrate. She opened her eyes and she could feel her eyes moving inward, her left eye drooped down and her right one raised up a bit. She closed them again, and popped her head out of cover and opened her eyes. The world went slow around her; Joan could see everything clearly now that she could see everypony so clearly. Joan rapidly fired 5 shots out of the rifle, hitting and killing a pony with each shot. The 3 remaining ponies fled down the road.
“That’s right! Run you cowards!” yelled Gala.
“If I see any of you ponies ever again. I am going to make you wish your mommy and daddy wasn’t so reckless!” Joan also yelled at the fleeing ponies.
“You sure know how to handle that rifle now do you!”
“I may have had some previous experience with them.”
“You saved my life, Mrs. Derpston. I think we can consider your debt paid.”
“Thank you, Miss MacApple.”
“I say! Maybe Dyslex did get lucky after all.”
The 2 continued down the road with the wagon, finally they arrived in Ponyvile, it was approximately noon. The wagon came to a halt in front of a traders store, Joan hopped out of the back of the wagon.
“Once again thank you! Now I believe this belongs to you.” She gave back Joan’s revolver.
“And this belongs to you.” Joan said placing the rifle in front of Gala.
“I was thinking that you could keep it from now on. It will most certainly get more use with you.”
“Why thank you again, Miss MacApple.” Joan picked up the rifle and fastened it into a harness she had on her back.
“Now I gotta go take whatever isn’t full of bullets in the wagon into the trader. Then I’m off to the main farm again. So till next time!”
Gala went into the traders, Joan looked around town, things seemed much brighter today. The ponies were all smiles and they walked about with a happy gait. The Doctor walked around the street corner and noticed Derpston standing there; they started walking towards each other.
“Why hello Joan I was just…” The doctor began but was interrupted by Joan jumping on him and wrapping her hooves around him in a hug.
“So how have you been?” Joan said as she stopped hugging the Doctor.
“Well I decided to look into some of our old photos, and I found 2 things I thought you’d want to see. So please follow me.” The Doctor led them through a back alley and into his office/home. He went over to a couple of boxes in the back room and dragged one of them over. He opened it and pulled out a small booklet. “Look, our wedding photos, all 5 of them!” The first photo was of Joan and the Doctor next to the altar, The Doctor was in an all black tuxedo and Joan was wearing a very opulent dress. The second one was of there first kiss after being married, Joan glanced awkwardly at the doctor but he didn’t notice, the 2 of them were of Joan and the Doctor at Trottingham, and the last one was at Comet Rock.
“So what ever became of my dress?” asked Joan giving the doctor a mean look.
“Wasn’t it a rental or maybe we sold it…don’t look at me like that!” the Doctor yelled after getting a scowling look from Joan. “Any who, look what else I found.” The doctor reached into the box and flung out a large old duster coat. “It’s your old coat. I thought you might want it. You told me a lot about how much you loved it.”
Joan gave the Doctor a very derpy-eyed smile, “This is wonderful, Doctor.” She picked up the coat, “I’m going to go put it on.”
A few minutes later, Joan Derpston came out of the back room with the duster coat on. The large coat covered most of the clothes she was already wearing, but it more importantly made her look like a bad flank(bad horse pun, I know).
“Now you look like a real cowmare again. You look ready to go get Dyslex, I know we aren’t truly ready but…well you know what I’m saying.” The Doctor hugged Joan. “Now go see Marshal Dash, the more you help her, the more likely she’ll help us.”
Joan tipped her hat respectfully then she left and walked to Marshal Dash’s office.
“Consarn it, Joan! You are just in time to hear the greatest news you’ve heard all week! So you know that coward we caught yesterday.”
“I do recall us catching some low life vermin yesterday.”
“Well he already talked. I sent my deputy’s to check the area of Pike’s Basin that Walton told us about. Haha! That was the easiest interrogation I ever done did in my life.”
Suddenly, the 2 deputies came charging around a bend and down a path towards the office. “Marshal! Marshal! Walton wasn’t lying, he’s got the Bollard Twins workin for him! And they was carryin some big crates!” yelled Snipes.
Marshal Dash had a satisfied look on her face, “Awwww Yeah! Good work boys.” She stamped he hoof down and spread her wings out! Joan reflected on that she still couldn’t even feel her left wing. In this position she looked very threatening. She folded her wings back in, “Alright, we’ll go now and sort them out. Joan will you fight with us?”
“Will YOU fight with ME?” asked Joan.
Marshal Dash smiled at Derpston, “I will consider it a top priority to fit it in my…busy schedule.”
“Than it would be my pleasure.” The 4 of them galloped down the road, the last time that Marshal Dash had helped Joan out was about 4 or 5 years ago. After the Doctor and Joan ran away from the gang together, they sought the help from at the time, Marshal’s Deputy Dash Johnson. The doctor helped medically in Trottingham and Joan did mercenary work for the lawmen there. Dash Johnson was promoted and moved to Ponyvile and Joan and the Doctor lived in a small estate outside of Trottingham where they were also married at. Then the Doctor disappeared, and then Joan had her daughter.
As they trotted down a rocky Cliffside, Joan pondered a certain thought. After Epileps went crazy and disappeared, Schizo and Dyslex tried to turn a new leaf and live a life like me and the doctor, having seen how successful we was living. Ironically, together is how they wished to live there life. I was even invited to there wedding, but…Dyslex was left at the altar, then she to went mad with emotions and murdered an entire brothel full of whorses. She left town that morning in a bloody bridal gown. Now, I wondered, Joan thought to herself. Had Schizo not left her…would I even be on this hopeless quest?
“They were setting up camp when we spotted them.” Snipes told the group.
“Alright, I know that some of them fillies ain’t the egghead type. But they ain’t dumb either. They’ll have posted a guard.” Said Marshal Dash.
When the group reached a split in the path Marshal Dash turned to the taller skinnier of her deputies. “Trails, what path should we take?”
“Well…both paths go to the middle valley, but the upper path will have better sight on it but you’ll be more open. The lower path will be more crowded but has more cover.”
“Joan come with me on the upper path, Snipes and Trails take the lower path. Be careful of any watch ponies.” Marshal Dash turned to Joan. “It’s me and you again. Let’s hope it goes as well as last time.” The 2 moved up the higher path, the twilight sky was beginning to illuminate the dusk clouds and was creating a very pretty open air picture. “Its pretty ain’t it Joan, that sky, its just…one of those little things you come to appreciate in this bloody land we live in.”
Joan stared at the glorious mix of colors in the sky, “Yea, yea it is.”
“So, how long have you been working for the Futurism Bureau?”
“I don’t work for them.”
“Not what the letters I receive have said.”
“Well I ain’t got much choice but to cooperate for them.”
“Ah! So you’s bein forced to do there bidding?”
“So it would seem…hey…first guard up ahead.”
There was one pony who was watching from the upper path, his back was turned to us as he watched the surrounding hill side. “Alright, I’m going to try and take him down silently. If you starts fighting me off I’m gonna need you to help. But use that knife of yours instead of your gun.” Joan nodded in agreement. Dash spread her wings out, she ducked down and jumped forward, she flew fast and grabbed the pony and quickly flew him over to Joan. She had covered his mouth with her hoof. She placed her other hoof on the back of his head and twisted his head to the right rapidly. CRACK, SNAP, CRACK! The brutal sounds of neck vertebrae snapping and breaking. He was dead now. “Well if it ain’t SlickHoof Bradshaw.”
“SlickHoof Bradshaw?” Joan never heard the name before.
“Why yes. This is actually a very good thing. SlickHoof Bradshaw is one of the best marksponies in all of Equestria.”
“Well, looks like we’ve moved up a bit in the ranks now.”
The two sneaked up the hill side and found a nice spot to hide. Derpston lay on her stomach, her duster coat lying out like a skinned animal. She drew her rifle, “So how are we going to dispose of them?”
“See those wagons right there.” Dash pointed a hoof to a small group of tents and 2 wagons in the middle of them that had red looking barrels. “If that’s what I think it is, then some fireworks will be startin if ya shoot it.”
Joan took a breath of air in; she aimed down the rifles sights. She pressed her hoof on the trigger pad. Bang, KA-BOOM! The red barrels erupted into a flaming dust cloud. Tents and wagon parts went flying, ponies that weren’t in the tents near the explosion panicked and fled. Some began looking around the basin sides for there attackers, there faces drowned in exhaustion. They looked at each other, shivering in distraught and panic. They’re hands jiggled about like they had an overdose of sugar.
Marshal Dash drew her revolver, “We have to kill em, if we try reasoning with them they’ll just shoot us. There scared, ponies ain’t reasonable when scared.” Dash pointed her gun at the small group of 5 ponies. Snipes and Trails had moved up to a closer position and saw us pointing our weapons, they did the same. For a second everything stopped, as if suddenly the world ceased to turn. The world went cold, Joan felt a cold grasp on her shoulder, “Just remember who your doing this for, the ponies of Ponyvile, your daughter and husband.” That voice was a cold voice, the voice seemed to shout at Joan but she did not know what it was. The moon had just become visible, the voice echoed in Joan’s head.
“Ready, FIRE!” yelled Marshal Dash. The 4 fired on the small group…they all dropped dead. “…Joan…why, why did that feel so wrong?”
“Killing ain’t ever right, Marshal. I may enjoy killing somepony or two, ones hated or dangerous to society. But it ain’t ever right.” Joan stood up and walked down to the valley below. 2 wagons were still intact; the two deputies were inspecting the cargo on the wagons.
“Hey! Marshal, Joan, come look at this!” Snipes called them over. Joan slid down the hill and Marshal Dash flew over to them.
“What we got here boys?” asked Dash.
The two deputies opened up the cases in the first wagon. Joan gasped and Marshal Dash’s eyes widened. “Marshal we have to take this.”
“Agreed, Derpston. I will fight along side you 120% for sure with THIS on our side. Snipes, Trails, pony up were going to take this wagon back to Ponyvile. Fort Cloudsdale ain’t gonna know what hit em!”
The 4 began to pull the wagon up the basin, when they reached the top the 2 deputies strapped them selves onto the harnesses and pulled the wagon as fast as they could. Joan and Marshal Dash sat in the back, revolvers ready for any trouble on the path.
“So your help is guaranteed?”
“Joan, I am more than happy to fight with you. All we need is a vehicle to carry this thing in,” she rubbed her hoof around the crates in the back. “And some more ponies to help would be nice; I recommend you get on over to Pegasus Landing as soon as you can. They’ll be some folks there that could help. Also see if you can get some help from a…an old foreigner, she lives out in the lands somewhere. Her name is Zeth Brecora. She’s a strange one, but she’s sneaky and got a strange way with people. Her help could prove valuable.” The wagon speeded into Ponyvile and the 4 quickly hauled the supplies from the wagon of into the back of the Marshal’s house. Derpston and the Marshal shook hooves on there agreement to help each other. Then, Derpston left for the Doctors home.
While she walked, Joan looked up to the bright moon glowing at her. “I heard that voice. What do you want with me?” Just then a light breeze blew Joan’s coat and mane softly about. “Will you always be with me?”