//------------------------------// // Chapter 1:One Heck... Of A Mess Up // Story: "You See My Lady, I Am One Hell Of A Butler" // by SIlverBullet //------------------------------// Twilight painfully groaned as she laid face down on the pages of a book around a table in Canterlot castle. Celestia stood at the door looking worried for the poor mare in front of her. She has done so many things for the kingdom of Equestria, like defending it from the clutches of Tirek's hands that it leaves no time for any breaks. Celestia's hoofsteps grabbed Twilights attention, sitting back up straight acting like she was busy to her old mentor. "I'm all right." Twilight playfully chuckled as she rested her elbow on the paper only to slip and bang her head making Celestia giggle. "If you were fine I wouldn't have told you to come here in the first place Twilight." Celestia joyfully smiled towards the Alicorn sitting down seeing stars float around her. Twilight chuckled as she rubbed her neck "You were always the one to never tell me directly about these things." "That's because I know you'll make a huge thing about it."Twilight sighed on Celestia's words, coming to realise what she meant by them "I know the table has you and your friends working overtime, but all you need to do is ask for some help, Miss I-Can-Do-Everything." "Yeah... I suppose your right, what my friends and I need is a break from the unusual requests the table gives us." Twilight sighed as she stared down towards her flank only for it to shine up indicating the table was informing her. Twilight groaned even louder before slamming her head onto the table in front of her a couple of times. "Duty calls?" Celestia said as she stopped Twilight from doing any more harm to her body. "I am sorry Princess Celestia, but you will have to excuse me," Twilight said before teleporting out the room with her magic. The white Alicorn looked at what Twilight was read only to see the pages were wet and soggy. Celestia laughed a little as she said: "Oh Twilight, you work yourself too hard." Twilight bursts through her bedroom doors, moving at a steady pace towards her bed. Spike opened one eye to look out the window from his bed; he watched as the moon was high in the sky knowing it was midnight. Spike crankily groaned "Had fun?" Twilight yawned as she crept into her bed facing away from Spike "The town of Appleloosa will rest easy as they don't have to worry about killer bees eating their apple crop..." Spike raised an eyebrow as he rested on his elbow "You got stung?" "...four times...in the plot." Spike chuckled "Everyone knows you've been working your socks off lately, I'm sure everyone will let you take a vacation. Heck, even ask your friends to go as well." "Not...'ow 'ike." Twilight's words were jumbled making Spike chuckle as he witnessed Twilight's awkward face. "I hope Celestia keeps up on her promise." Spike turned around pulling the covers over him falling into a deep sleep. The morning rises with sun giving its light to all of Equestria. Twilight yawned greatly with the stretching of her wings, As she stretched her limbs she smelt a sweet mixture aroma in the air around her room. She scratched her messy head moving the strands of hair back and forth. Spike was missing from his bed so maybe he made some breakfast for her she thought. She clambered out of bed trying to stand up right from the grogginess of waking up. Managing to get her balance halfway to the door, she could smell the lucid scent of cooking filling her mind with bliss. She walked out the door and into the hallway only to notice it was crystal clean. Every inch, every spec, there was no sign of dirt nor dust. She steadily proceeded down the hall, making her way to the kitchen. She was stunned as she saw the kitchen in a perfect white state except pots and pans on the washing rack. Twilight rubbed her eyes in bewilderment as she could still smell the gorgeous scent of cuisine coming from the dining hall. The smell enticed her, forcing her to walk over and look through the semi-closed door by sticking her head through the little gap. She gasped as she pushed the door wide open to witness an exquisite sight. On the large round table in front of her was an assortment of different foods, from mixed vegetables in a veggie sausage all the way down to plain cereal with orange juice. Twilight was amazed at the amount of food in front of her that she didn't notice the steps she took as she walked towards the table. "Will this be enough, Mistress?" A deep British voice came from behind, shocking her to double barrel with a high pitched squeal. The male voice grunted as he was kicked and sent flying into the wall. Twilight panicked as she turned around to see a light purple unicorn in a sharp white suit with a light purple bowtie stand up brushing off the dirt with a handkerchief in an elegant manner. The unicorn's bright white pompadour mane made it hard not to look at him long enough while his tail was short and bushy. Twilight's eyes widened towards the unicorn as he wiped the blood from his nose with his handkerchief and placed it into his outside suit pocket. "Oh my Celestia, I didn't mean to!" Twilight yelled, rushing towards the unicorn, only to stop as he raised his hoof. Twilight noticed his eyes were laid back as he stared at her. But something clicked in Twilight's mind making her take a step away from the unicorn "What are you doing in my castle?" The unicorn stood up straight with a perfect backbone. He bowed his head while bringing his left hoof over his right horizontally "I am Ettore, I was summoned here by my Lords at True Valets." "You still haven't answered my question?" Twilight said with little assurance, trying to get back to the subject. Ettore pulled his head up to the Alicorn in front of him "The one you call Spike welcomed me into this humble establishment." "...Spike," Twilight sighed as she placed her hoof on her forehead "I do apologise, but I don't see the point of you being here?" "I was summoned here by my Lords at True Valets to answer a contract by the name Princess Twilight Sparkle; I have the paperwork in my pocket." Ettore used his magic to pull out a small square paper, unfolding it to reveal a long contract. "I never asked for this," Twilight pulled the paper over towards her with her magic while putting on her reading glasses only to speak out loud what she deems important "To whom it may concern. We over at True Valets accept your offer of the allotted bits to hire one of our most respectable butlers. They will serve you until death or at least when the contract runs out. But with the number of bits you have provided this service will be constant until you deem them not needed. Well, I don't need this so you can be on your way." "I'm afraid you cannot, Miss Sparkle. Under Rule #87, You may return the Butler after the first week if unsatisfied." Ettore pointed out on the sheet of paper. "But I never signed this?!" "Then what would that signature be?" Twilight groaned as she saw whose name it was "Celestia..." "Nether the less, it was signed to you correctly. So, for my return to True Valets, you must wait a week, and you will not see me ever again milady," Ettore said in a light tone, almost like he was depressed. "But in the mean time I will sort out your library, make a handy spreadsheet for your day and plan out dinner for tonight." Twilight watched as Ettore left the dining hall with his head up high and his posture perfect. She felt little remorse for him as he made his way to help her, but Celestia doing this without her knowing made her agitated. Celestia is the one who is the mysterious character, most of the time you won't know what she's thinking or what she is going to do. At least she is looking out for her which changed her mood back to a pleasant one. Twilight looked back at the food on the table and ate some of the cereal and pancakes before going out to see how everyone was doing around Ponyville. Since the map hasn't called, it was a time to relax and have fun with your friends. After she greeted everyone around and organised the Mayor's registry for kicks, she made her way to the Boutique to help Rarity out with some of her works and chat a little. Twilight stood still by a couple of mannequins while Rarity draws up some ideas on a large sheet of paper. As she stood still, she explained the ordeal with Celestia and the butler. "So who cares, Celestia hired you a butler to give you a break darling. I'd take that offer if I could."Rarity said as she closed one eye with the pencil floating in front of her at Twilight, trying to get a better angle or picture. "I never asked for one though; that's the problem. If you had a stallion turn up at your home, uninvited and cooked you breakfast saying their there for a job you never signed, would you take it?" "Hmm, good point Twilight. But it was Celestia who gave him to you, why not just take it... also where is he now?" Rarity paused as she looked around the room. "He said he's sorting out my library, making a spreadsheet for the day and planning dinner; he also forgot about telling me about cleaning the castle top to bottom." Twilight sighed as she was able to move from Rarity's 'safe to move again' signal. "And when did he start?" Rarity asked as she moved some cloth onto the sewing machine. "Early this morning, Spike let him in, and he cleaned the castle and made me breakfast," Twilight answered as she looked outside the boutique window at the castle "It feels... Weird having somepony serving you, it almost feels like I'm a bad pony." "Nonsense Darling, Celestia thought you needed help with everyday activities, so she hired a butler to give you a helping hoof." Rarity waved her up and shook her head left and right. "But-*Knock Knock*" The sound of the Boutique's front door banging alerted the two. Rarity walked over and opened the door to see Ettore standing with an umbrella and a large roll of paper. Rarity's eyes widened as she saw the smart look stallion in front of her only to chuckle like she didn't know what to say. Twilight shook her head as she wondered over to the door. "Anything you need Ettore?" Twilight asked as Rarity quickly ran inside towards the changing room. Ettore tilted his head with Rarity's sudden escape "I'm not scary... Am I?" Twilight closed her eyes with a deep sigh "She gets like this, but back to the original question." "I spoke to the weather ponies, and they said a coming rain storm is due to, so I brought an umbrella. Also, I have a list of all potential possibilities that a sudden occurrence will happen in the next hour or so." Ettore handed over the roll of paper and umbrella. Ettore and Twilight quickly look over where Rarity disappeared to only to see dresses after dresses fly up and over the changing room with the words "No." Ettore raised an eyebrow with the words "Is she late for something?" Twilight giggled to herself knowing that Rarity typically acts like this when she sees a good looking stallion "Just let her do her thing. Plus if you're here can you pick up something from Pinkie Pie at Sugarcube corner?" "It will be my pleasure, Mistress." Ettore bowed. Twilight watched as Ettore walk away from the Boutique while activating a magic spell that spawned in a light purple barrier on top of him. Twilight looked to the sky to see the pegasi moving the dark clouds in with water dripping from them. Twilight shut the door behind her while pulling open the spreadsheet with curiosity. She opened it to see a great timeline with what is going to happen in a couple of days. It was like Ettore was psychic as he foreseen her asking him to retrieve something, but doesn't specify it fully. Rarity quickly moved the curtain aside, revealing her fully marked up face and lovely yellow dress. The white unicorn fluttered her eyes "Has anypony seen my... where'd he go?" "I wouldn't get used to him staying here," Twilight giggled as she passed the spreadsheet to Rarity "I mean, just look at what he thinks is going to happen." "Oh my goodness!" Rarity's eyes widened at the sight of the open spreadsheet "How many events?" "From what I can see, over 150 in the next week." "That's absurd, how can one pony predict all that in such a small amount of time?" "We~~ll, it's not a perfect prediction," Twilight said as she took back the spreadsheet "It's more like riddles than a future prediction. Like, 'thou will meet somepony familiar' in the next minute." Rarity and Twilight both questioned the spreadsheet's liability as they both stared at the door. The suspense they both felt as the clock turned a minute past with no one showing up at the door. They both giggled lightly to each other only to gasp as the door swung open with force behind it revealing a very wet white filly unicorn with her wet greyish mulberry with pale, light greyish rose streaks mane. She walked through the front door before stopping with a blank look on her. "Not. A. Word." She said in a hostile tone, walking off towards the stairs leaving droplets of water in her wake. The two giggled softly towards the wet filly as she wondered up the stairs, only to stop as they looked at the spreadsheet again and at the clock. It was 10 seconds late, but it was clearly the correct time on the spreadsheet. "Where did you say he came from?" Rarity asked The front door swings open once more, only for Ettore to be standing there with three brown paper bags floating by him dry as a fiddle from the magic barrier he placed up "True Valets Milady, a humble organisation who sends butlers with unique talents to the client." Ettore took a few steps into the Boutique before wiping his four hoofs on a large cloth that appeared from his right pocket. The two were dumbfounded as to how he managed to fit that thing inside his pocket. But Ettore carried on wiping his hoofs clean elegantly. Once he was dry, he levitated two of the bags to Twilight and the other to Rarity. The two were confused as to why there were three bags. They looked at each other before digging through the brown paper bag to see what they received. Twilight couldn't hold her amazement in as she pulled out a pile of books that she lost during the scorching of her old library with the book Pinkie borrowed for unusual pie making; she leapt into the air hugging them tight as if they were her closest friends. Rarity opened hers only to gasp in the entire atmosphere as her rare diamonds, rubies, and emeralds that she couldn't get until the end of the month were in her hoofs for her one of a kind dresses. Ettore blinked twice as he saw Rarity rub them across her cheeks as if she was cuddling a dog. Rarity suddenly stopped rubbing her face only to stare at Ettore with a deep thinking stare "How did?..." "A friend of Twilight is a client of True Valets as well," Ettore bowed his head to his chest "It is only fitting I know of everypony of our client. Friend and foe." "Hehe, Twilight... Errm... May I have a word with you?" Rarity said with a fake smile toward Ettore, who lifted his head and walked towards the door. "I know what you're going to say," Twilight whispered as she watched Ettore feel one of Rarity's dress while tapping his chin with the hoof. "What? That your Butler is a spy?! Or maybe he's insanely cute but with an enormous downfall of being a freak?" Rarity whispered, trying as hard as she could from shouting it out loud. "Okay, maybe I had a rough idea of what you were going to say, but that is entirely not the point. The point is, I can't get rid of him until the week is over. What's worse, he knows where I am at all times like a hawk. If that's not creepy, then I have no idea what is." Twilight whispered, only for the two of them to freeze as they both saw Ettore sit down facing Opal, who just walked in through the front door cat flap. The two watched with amazement as he picked up the fat white cat in his two front hoofs, stroking Opal lightly to the point of her falling asleep in his hoofs. "Opal's never the one to like strangers? She mostly hisses at them before walking off?" "We can't just accuse him of anything at the moment; It's not like he prevented a disaster that was going to happen." The Boutique's door, once again, slammed open with Mayor Mare standing there with erratic breathing as if she ran a couple of miles to get there. "Princess Twilight!" She screamed before waving her hoofs in the air before pointing behind her. "...Don't tell me." "Manticores attacked Ponyville; Timberwolves tried to kidnap two foals all while the train almost fell off the track!" "What?!" Rarity and Twilight both said in unison "How can that happen?!" "I don't know, but he stopped all causes in such a short time?!" Mayor Mare slowly pointed towards Ettore, who's eyes were fixated on the brown mare. "What are you?" Twilight said with a racing heart from the quick smirk from Ettore making her worry as he always has a flat look upon his face. Ettore spoke with a nasty tone that sent goosebumps down everyone's spine "You see milady, I am one hell of a Butler."