//------------------------------//
// Hired Hooves and Dead Delinquents 
// Story: Get a Clue 
// by S. K. RyDer 
//------------------------------//

	“Could it be the guard already?” Chestnut threw the pistol into the remains of the chandelier. 
“Couldn’t. They still have forty-five minutes.” Smiles turned away from the grandfather clock. “Must be a sales pony. We tend to get those.”
Smiles shook his mane into his buzzed-out fashion, “Good evening sir.” 
“Good evening. Is the Stallion of the house around?”
Smiles opened his eyes, starting backwards at who was at the door. “Um. Well, you see- ah…”
“Shinny!” Violet shoved the butler out of the way to embrace her brother, “How are you?”
Shining Armor returned her hug, “I’ve been fine, Twi-lee. I just haven’t been able to write.” He looked at Smiles, “There’s a crashed chariot down at the bottom of the hill. Does it belong to anyone here?”
Grey Cloud nodded sheepishly, “I crashed it because of the storm.”
The Captain of the Guard nodded, “Can I please come in and use your fire place? Messaging reasons.”
Smiles gave his characteristic smile again, “Of course you may, sir! You may use the one in the, um... no. Uh, you could use the one in the stud... no. Uh, uh, would you be kind enough to wait in the, um, in-in the, um, uh library?”
Shining Armor locked eyes with the Butler, “Yeah, I can.” He broke apart from his younger sister, trotting into the hall. He shook water from his mane.
SLAM!
“Sorry, captain.” His head turned to Mustard, leaning in the doorway to the Living Room, “I slipped.”
BANG!
“Blasted door.” Chestnut smiled, “Never does stay open.”
Shining Armor looked around, “What’s going on here? Why are you all so nervous?”
Grey Cloud pointed to the remains of the chandelier. “It was the light. It falled. Nearly killed us.”
He nodded, “Yeah, I hear you.”
“This way to the library sir.” Smiles gestured to the open door, “The fireplace is on the far wall.”
The Guard gave a word of thanks, trotting into the circular room.
SLAM! Click.
“That should keep him safe.” Smiles pocket another key, “Now no one can get in but me.”
Navy looked at him, “And if YOU are the killer?”
Smiles sighed, “And I thought I made it clear. I. DON’T. KILL. PONIES!”
Grey Cloud stomped her hoof “PLEASE! Don't you think we should get that Guard out of the house before he finds out what's been going on here?”
Violet placed a comforting hoof around the frantic Pegasus “How can we throw him outside in this weather?”
Chestnut shook his head, “If we let him stay in the house, he may get suspicious!”
Purple eyes met blue, “If we throw him out, he may get even more suspicious!”
Mustard stepped between the two “If I were him, I'd be suspicious already!”
Grey Cloud broke away from Violet’s hug, voice breaking from hysteria “Oh, who cares? That guard doesn't matter! Let him stay locked up for another hour. The rest will be here by then... and there is THREE DEAD BODIES IN THE LIVING ROOM!”
Everypony held their hooves against Grey’s mouth, trying to get her to not reveal any more.
Smiles grimaced towards the door, which stayed silent. “Okay, so. I’m going to go clean the blood from the kitchen, just in case he wants to poke around. The rest of you--”
Suddenly the library door started rattling “Let me out of here! Let me out of here!” Shining Armor started spouting, “You have no right to shut me in! I'll book you for false arrest, and wrongful imprisonment, and obstructing a guard in the course of his duty... and MURDER!”
Smiles dove to the door, unlocking it and throwing it open, “What do you mean... murder?” He gave an innocent smile.
“I just said it so you would open the door.” Shining Armor adjusted his bracket,”What's going on around here? And why would you lock me in? And why are you receiving letters from Princess Luna?”
One white Unicorn looked at the other, “Luna?”
“That’s right! The Princess of the Night? The Queen of Shadows?” 
Mustard looked at the butler, “How does Luna have access to your fireplace?”
Smiles shrugged, “I don't know, she's on everypony else's, why shouldn't she be on mine?”
He trotted into the library, picking up a small smoking letter that was sitting on the table.
“May I take a look around?” Shining Armor looked at Mustard, “I’ve only seen this place from the outside, you see.” 
Mustard gave a nervous smile and nod, “Yes. Come with me.” She took the guard by the hoof, leading him around.
“Okay. Here’s the door to the Library, that’s the door to the bathroom, the Dining Room, and over there, under the stairs, is the door to the Kitchen. Up the stairs are the Bedrooms. And that is the entire mansion.”
Shining armor gestured towards the two doors across from them, “What's going on in those two rooms?”
Mustard tried to feign innocence, “Uhh... which two rooms?”
“THOSE two rooms.”
Mustard smacked her forehead, “Ohhh, those two rooms. Ahh... well.” She pulled the guard back when he started towards the doors, “Sir! I don't think you should go in there.”
He shook her hoof from him, “Why not?”
Mustard tapped her hoof, “Uhh... Because it's all too shocking!”
He snorted, opening the door to the living room. 
“Sir!” Mustard dove behind him, “I can ex-”
Mustard took one look around, her jaw dropping to the floor.
Grey Cloud was on top of FoxTrot, moving her head around in a passionate kiss. His sand-blue hoof was stroking her pale yellow mane, the other on her flank.
There was slight movement from the curtains, revealing Scarlet making out with Rainbow dash in the curtain, her cyan hooves wrapped around his waist.
“Well,” Shining Armor grinned, “Nothing wrong with having fun.” He closed the door, muttering about privacy. “What about the Recreation Room?”
Mustard smiled, “What room?” She was gently pushed out of the way as he trotted to the room next to them. 
He opened the door, poking his head inside. Violet and Lord Chestnut were laying atop one of the benches, entwined so tight, Mustard thought they would never get back apart.
“This griffon’s drunk.” Shining Armor levitated an empty cider mug, “Dead drunk.”
“Dead right.” Violet nodded from beneath Lord Chestnut.
“TWILIGHT SPARKLE!” Shining Armor recoiled from the two of them, “WHAT THE HAY ARE YOU DOING?”
“Having fun.” She backed up, “Nothing wrong with it?”
Shining Armor’s nostrils smoked, “I will not permit you to start kissing completely strange stallions.”
“Oh then well.” The other stallion trotted to the angry guard, “I am Lord Chestnut.”
Shining armor glared at Chestnut, “As in the chestnut nut?”
He grinned, “Exactly.”
Two white hooves snagged a chestnut hoof, “Well, then, my fine lord, have at it.”
He nodded once, trotting out of the steaming room.
Of which Smiles caught.	His eyes widened in panic, “Sir, I can explain everything.”
“You don't have to.” Shining Armor grinned, patting the butler on the shoulder.
Smiles backed up a step, “I don't?”
The Guard smiled, “Don't worry; there's nothing illegal about any of this.”
“Are you sure?” This conversation was getting weirder and weirder.
“Of course, this is Equestria! It's a free country, don't you know that?”
Smiles gave another nervous smile, “I didn't know it was THAT free.”
“Hey, do you have some parchment and a quill I can use? I need to send a letter off.”
“Yes, of course.”Smiles gestured to the library again, “In the top drawer.”
Shining Armor locked himself in the library, leaving Smiles to turn to the group now exiting the Living Room.
“Okay, so, let’s resume our search of the premises.” Smiles said, “Now that we have him on our side, somehow.”
They got back into their groups, resuming their search. Grey and Mustard looking back in the bedrooms upstairs, Navy and Scarlet took to the study once more, with the two hired hooves trotting to the attic, leaving Violet and Chestnut to their search of the cellar.

Grey and Mustard trotted to the room across from what could have been FoxTrot’s room, going into what looked to be Smile’s room. It was much brighter than FoxTrot’s. Beige walls, light brown carpet. Pink drapes. 
“This guy must have it in for Fluttershy.” Mustard picked a small picture up of a yellow Pegasus, hoof in hoof with the butler. She seemed to be hiding from the camera, her pink mane making her stand out to the Wonderbolt.
The grey Pegasus crawled away from the bed, “There’s something under it. I’m scared.”
Mustard bent low, and, sure enough, there was a black creature below it.
“Ah, come on Grey.” Mustard picked it up, “It’s only a stuffed animal.”
Grey sighed, “I thought it was something scary.”
Mustard snickered, tossing it on her flank.
“EEEE!” She bucked out hard, sending the stuffed bat across the room, where it hit a wall with a dusty thud.
“Don’t do that!” Grey yelled at the hysterical Pegasus.
“You should have seen the look on your face!” Mustard gasped for breath, “You were all, EE!”
Her laugher died instantly when the lights went out.

Smiles and Cadance were examining one of the spare suits of armor, “I never even knew we had this.”
“Yeah, tends to happen when you’re only here half the time.” Smiles put the helmet back on the rack, “Luna enjoys it up here.”
They looked around; trying to find any place the killer could have hidden.
“Eek!” Cadance whirled, sending her hoof against the black spider that landed on her flank.
“It’s nothing but a spider, Caddy.” Smiles said, “Don’t be such a baby.”
The lights suddenly went out on the two.
“EEEEEEEEE!”
“Who’s a baby now, Smiles?”

Navy and Scarlet slowly opened the door to the Study. “What if they’re in here?”
Scarlet shrugged, nudging her ahead. 
“Okay, seriously. I bet you a hundred bits you’ll say at least five words in my presence only.”
He grinned as the navy mare turned around. “Miss Navy?”
“What?” she snapped, whirling to meet his green eyes.
“You lose.” He smirked. His face soon vanished in the darkness that hit them both.

Shining Armor sighed, lighting his horn, “If I can get my hooves on those Pegasi…” He bent back over the letter he was writing to his parents. 
“Dear Princess Luna” He muttered, “I hope this finds you well. You know the mansion on--” 
The stallion hit the table, dead before he heard the roll of thunder.

Princess Cadance teleported to the breaker room, illuminating the switch board that held all the words that would bring light back to the mansion.
“Main power, main power.” She muttered, almost hearing the crash of thunder, “Ah, here it is!” She flicked it back on with a hoof, and then turned into the other ponies face.
“Oh, hey!” she said, “I thought I heard some--”
She fell to the ground, not hearing her killer laughing and trotting away from her corpse.

Pinkie Pie looked at the mansion. “Well, here we go.” She pulled the rope to the bell, waiting patiently for someone to answer.
The door creaked open. That’s your cue!  she told herself.

“This is your singing telegram 
I hope it finds you well 
You're invited to a party 
'cause I think you're really swell!”

Equestria’s Greatest Party Pony fell to the ground slower than she ever could have alive.

Smiles blinked in the sudden return of light. “Thanks Caddy.” He looked behind him. “Caddy?”
Empty.
“Where did you go?” He trotted back out the door and down the steps. He magicked the panel back in place, looking over at the balcony.
“Well SOMEPONY had to do it!” Navy was yelling at Scarlet right outside the study’s door, “lights don’t ‘just go out’!”
“Kids.” Smiles trotted down the stairs, stepping between the two ponies, “Relax. The lights are back on, and now we need to regroup.”
Eventually, all seven ponies were back in the living room with the two corpses of Rainbow Dash and FoxTrot.
“So, there was nopony in the attic.” Smiles said, straining his ears for Cadance.
“Nor in the Library, Study, or Dining Room.” Navy looked at Violet and Chestnut, “You two find anything?”
They shook their heads, “All three rooms were empty. Except for a jar of candy.”
“Yeah,” Chestnut got a sad, dreamy look in his eyes, “but it’s empty now.”
“I didn’t find anything,” Grey Cloud said, “I dunno about Mustard.”
“You were right with me, Grey.” Mustard shook her head, “There was a chest in FoxTrot’s room that tried to strangle me.”
Smiles nodded, “FoxTrot put a charm on that chest when he still had his horn. It will attack anyone that tries to open it but him. It even will attack me.”
“Oh,” Mustard’s head fell, “Then we didn’t find anything.”
“Anypony hear that?” Chestnut’s ears flickered, “Sounds like somepony left a tap running.”
They followed the noise to the library where they found him.
Shining Armor lay over the desk, the pipe shoved into his throat. The parchment he was writing was floating atop the river of blood all over the desk, the floor, and even trickling into the fireplace. 
“Well,” Mustard said, “I guess we’d better send his letter of as a dying wish.” 
Grey Could stared horrified at her partner, “How can you make jokes at a time like this?”
Mustard brushed the Pegasus off, “It's my defense mechanism.”
“Some defense.” Grey shuddered. “If I was the killer, I would try killing you next.”
"Oh?”
Grey Cloud felt six pairs of eyes on her face, “I said, "if". IF!”
The six shrugged her off.
“Where’s Cadance?” Violet asked, “Wasn’t she with you?”
Smiles nodded, “She went to the breaker room in the cellar to turn the lights back on. She never returned.”
They all trotted to the cellar, where Smiles flicked the light on.
They hardly reacted seeing her; 
The Curtain Tug was wrapped around her neck, then hung one if the pipes. Her face was almost black, and a drop of blood was perched on the side of her mouth.
They slowly closed the door, leaving the Alicorn in total darkness.
“Well, where did the killer go?” Navy asked, “If it wasn’t any of us, I mean.”
“I heard the door slam.” Smiles said, “Shortly before the lights came on. I thought it was another thunder roll.”
They trotted back up the stairs, coming across her body too.
The entire top of her head was gone. Both of her blue eyes were lying in clear puddles next to a vase. Parts of pink flesh were strewn everywhere, and a leg was missing from her corpse.
“Cerebus!” Smiles yanked the leg from the guardian dog.
“Take them into the living room with everypony else.” Smiles tossed the pony’s leg onto the couch. “I think I know who did it.”
“Who?” All six voices rang out. Smiles shook a hoof.
“In order to help you understand what happened,” He gave a stoic smile, “I shall need to take you through the events of the evening, step by step.
“At the start of the evening, Yvette was here, by herself, waiting to offer you all a glass of champagne. I was in the Hall.” He paused a moment as if he was proving doubt, “I know, because I was there. Then, I hurried across to the kitchen.”
Smiles spun around, galloping though the hall, skidding to a stop after throwing the kitchen door open.
“And the Rainbow Dash was in here, alive, sharpening knives, preparing for dinner. And then . . .
A flash of white, and Smiles was breathlessly galloping towards the massive double doors, “And the doorbell rang . . . and it was you, Violet Scholar!”
Princess Celestia’s student nodded, “Yes it was--”
“I asked you for your coat,” He shoved his hoof in her mouth again “and I recognized you as Violet Scholar, and I prevented you from telling your real name because I didn't want any of you to use any name other than your pseudonym and I introduced myself to you as a butler and you trotted across the Hall to the living room!”
“And then Lord Chestnut came to the door.”  He threw the doors open again, “Frightened by the thunder, he took off to the Living Room.” He does so, with the confused ponies breathlessly galloping in tow.
“I came in across Caddy and Violet greeting each other.” Smiles jumped into the living room, 
“Sunshine Sunshine, lady bugs awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake!” Complete with actions.
He stared back at the guests, “And the doorbell rang again! And it was Navy Model, on the brink of pneumonia, and I took her coat, and made off!”
The Butler galloped to the living room again, “And, to make a long story short—”
The guests shook their heads, “Too late!”
“--one by one, you all arrived.” Smiles continues, ignoring the six’s intervention, “Then Rainbow Dash called dinner out! And we went into the dining room!”
Smiles booked it to the dining room, sitting in the respective chairs. “And Mustard Fire here, and Lord Chestnut sat here . . . and Navy Model sat here …” He imitated her slurping her soup, the rambled on, “And Grey Cloud, Scarlet Worker, Violet Scholar! That chair was vacant.” He pointed to the one FoxTrot sat in.
“After a moment, I stood back up and let FoxTrot in, of whom I introduced to the six of you.” He smiled, “Violet started to ask what they were doing. I cut her off, FoxTrot finished his meal, and I--”
“Get on with it!!” the mares screeched, causing Smiles to stumble back a bit.
“We went to the Living Room.” He bolted back out the door, sliding on the floor of the Hall.
“AND!” Smiles threw the bodies from the couch, gesturing to the different seats, “Scarlet stood here, and Chestnut here, and Mustard here, and Violet here, and Navy, and Grey, and--”
“Get on with it!”
“I'm getting there, I'm getting there!” Smiles defended to the group, “And FoxTrot and I gave you your presents, of which you opened! And FoxTrot switched out the lights!” Smiles slammed his hoof on the light switch, bathing everyone in total darkness.
When Chestnut turned the lights back on, Smiles lay on the ground unmoving.
“Son of a--” Mustard started to curse, slamming her hooves on the coffee table, “Who did it?”
“FoxTrot lay on the floor, apparently dead.”
“Eek!”
Lord Chestnut threw his hooves up, “He was dead! I examined him!”
“Then why was he bashed on the head a few minutes later with a candlestick if he was dead already?”
Chestnut thought a moment, then sighed, “All right, I made a mistake.”
Smiles pointed at the Time Lord, “Right! But if so, why was FoxTrot pretending to be dead? It could only be because he realized his scheme had misfired, and the gunshot was intended to kill him, not me. Look!” He pulled FoxTrot up, pointing to a circular hole in the host’s ear, “The bullet grazed his ear. Clearly his best way of escaping death was to pretend to be dead already.”
Mustard nodded, “So whoever grabbed the gun from me in the dark was trying to kill HIM!”
Smiles shook his head, “But remember what happened next. Grey Cloud took a drink, Chestnut said, ‘Maybe it's poisoned!’ She screams!” He imitated a falsetto scream, threw the Grey Pegasus onto the ottoman. Without hesitating, he brings his hoof against her cheek, “Well . . . I had to stop her screaming . . .” He imitated Navy Model, and then whirled around, “Then--more screaming--Caddy--the Library! We all rushed out!”
As they do now.
Smiles was sitting on the table, having thrown Shining Armor’s corpse to the floor, “But one of us . . . wasn't here.” He gave another sly grin, “Maybe one of us was murdering the cook. Who wasn't here with us?”
There was a slight pause, “Do you know?”
Smiles nodded, “I do. While we stood here, trying to stop Yvette from panicking,” Smiles galloped across the hall, “one of us could have stayed in the study, picked up the dagger galloped down the Hall,” They followed the butler, all gasping for breath.
“And dissected Rainbow Dash.”
“Oh, how could he risk it?” Navy asked, “We might have seen him running back.”
“Not if they used this secret passage.” Smiles pulled the hook, and then kicked the panel in.”And the murderer ran back down the secret passage to the Library!”
He bolted all guests in tow. They hit the portrait adorning the wall.
“Hang on.” Navy looked at the butler, “How do you know what that exists?”
“This house belongs to a friend of mine.” The butler shrugged “I've known all along.”
“Well . . . who else knew about the secret passage?” Grey looked around, 
Navy slung a hoof around the workhorse, “We found it. Scarlet and me.”
“’You found it.’” Mustard scoffed, “You could have known about it all the time.”
“But I didn't!”
“Well, why should we believe you?”
“Because!” The two bickering mares jumped at Smiles’ outburst, “she was with us all in the billiard room doorway while Caddy was screaming, don't you remember?”
Chestnut turned back towards the Butler, “But where and when was FoxTrot killed?”
Smiles smiled, “Don't you see?” He roughly grabbed the Time Lord, dragging him about, “Look, we came back to the study with Caddy.” He shoved the stallion to the floor, “pretending to be dead. But one of us noticed he's alive. So. I explained that I was FoxTrot's butler, and I'd invited you here, and we realized there was only one other person in the house.”
“Rainbow Dash!”
Smiles nodded to the tumult, teleporting to the kitchen. The others had no choice but to run to the Kitchen. 
“Well, where is he?” Grey Cloud stood next to the fridge, looking for the missing butler.
The door slowly opened, and the Butler fell into the hooves of the scared Pegasus.
Navy Model screamed, not noticing his eyes opening.
“By now, she was dead. We laid her down with our backs to the freezer. One of us slipped through the same secret passage—“
“Again?” The Showmare’s shoulders slumped.
“Of course!” Smiles jumped, pointing out the door “Back to the Living room!”
They galloped on Smiles’ tail back into the room with the dead ponies.
“The murderer was in the secret passage.” He explained on the run, “Meanwhile, FoxTrot,”  He once more grabs Lord Chestnut, throwing him back on the floor, “had been on the floor. He jumped up,”      Yellow aura lifted him up, and then vanished. “The murderer came out of the secret panel, picked up the candlestick,”
Smiles levitate the candlestick, galloping after Lord Chestnut, who probably was not acting his look of panic.
“FoxTrot followed us out of the study into the Hall, looking for an escape. The murderer crept up behind him and . . . killed him!!”
“Will you stop that!!?” Lord Chestnut wrenched the silver weapon from Smiles, rubbing his head.
“No. Then . . . he threw him into the toilet!” Smiles kicked the stallion into the room, pretending to check a watch. “And nonchalantly rejoined us beside the cook's body in the kitchen. It took less than half a minute.
“So who wasn't there the entire time in the kitchen?” Grey Cloud looked at the bathroom door.
“Whoever it was, is the murderer!” Smiles galloped off excitedly, four guests in tow.
Lord Chestnut trotted from the bathroom, toilet still flushing. 
He nonchalantly handed the towel to Navy Model as he trotted after the others.
“And we put the weapons in the cupboard, locked it, and ran to the front door . . .” Smiles yelled, running the two ponies over on his way to the front doors, “To throw away the key! Then appeared Gilda! I didn't throw the key away--I put it in my pocket.” He mimicked placing the key in his vest pocket, “And somepony could have taken it out of my pocket and substituted another!”
“We were all in a huddle.” Mustard backed up, “Any one of us could have done that!”
Smiles slammed the front doors, “Precisely! The murderer went to the cupboard!”
They ran back into the Living Room, where Smiles threw the weapons cache open, They unlocked it with the key, took out the Guitar—“
Navy gasped, “Then we found the secret passage from the Library to the Recreation Room where we found Gilda dead!
“That's right! And we couldn't get in. So Caddy rain to the open cupboard, and shot the door open. BANG! And then, the doorbell rang!”
DING-A-LING
Grey cloud emitted a sound rather like a bassoon, “Oh, whoever it is, they gotta go away, or they'll be killed!”
They trotted to the door, where they found the young Pegasus.
“Um, excuse me.” Everypony had to lean in to hear what she was saying. “I was wondering if, um, you would adopt a young animal.”
“What?” Navy gave an incredulous look at the yellow Pegasus.
“You see, the forest by my house is growing full on animals, which means we need to take some up as pets.”
“You ain't just whistlin' Dixie.” Scarlet tried to close the door, but she held it open.
“Oh, but please, these animals are in danger!”
“Our lives are in danger, hippie!” Mustard bucked the door closed, hearing the Pegasus yelp, and then start crying bitterly as she ran away.
Smiles clicked his tongue, and then continued, “Shining Armor arrived next, and we locked him in the library. We forgot the cupboard with the weapons was now unlocked, then we split up again, and the murderer switched off the electricity!” Smiles’ horn glowed, and then everyone was thrust into darkness again.
“Sweet Celestia.”
“EEEEKK!”
“Get your hooves off me!”
“Beg yer pardon miss.”
“Turn on the lights!!!”
Smiles gave an innocent smile, restoring the precious light. “Sorry. Didn't mean to frighten you.”
“You're a bit late for that!” Lord Chestnut turned to Grey, “I hate it when he does that!”
“Then there were three more murders.” Smiles said, looking at each of the guests.
“So…” Navy moved her hoof in a circle “which of us killed them?

Ending A:
Ending B:
Ending C:
Ending D: