//------------------------------// // Chapter Three: The Explanation // Story: Mother Fluffer // by TheVClaw //------------------------------// “RAINBOW!!!” While the other four mares stared at Rainbow Dash with mixed looks of shock and anger, the cyan Pegasus had her muzzle covered with both hooves, her eyes wide-open at the realization of what she just blurted out. “I’m sorry!” said Rainbow sincerely when she pulled her hooves back down to the ground. “I… I panicked, alright?!” “You panicked?!” shouted Rarity as she looked at Rainbow distastefully. “Rainbow Dash, how could you even THINK of doing that?! We agreed to tell her slowly!” “Yeah!” added Applejack with a nasty glare towards the stunt-pony. “So much for subtlety there, Dash!” “Hey!” Rainbow pointed a hoof at the two mares as she tried to speak defensively. “It’s not like either of you were saying anything!” “That’s because we were tryin’ ta get the right words out, you gat-dang nincompoop!” “Ummm… girls?” In an instant, the five mares remembered that they weren’t the only ones in that library. As the group slowly turned their attention back to the lavender Alicorn and her drake, Twilight carried a confused stare back at them, which was accompanied by a small disbelieving smirk on her muzzle. Spike looked the same way, like he was trying to be polite and smile after hearing a weird joke. “What… what are you talking about?” asked the Princess as she gave off a small chuckle. Applejack groaned painfully with her face in one of her hooves, knowing that this explanation wasn’t going to be pretty. “Twi, we… we went to the train station ‘cause your Mom left a scarf at Rare’s place, and…” Rarity sighed before taking the reins of Applejack’s statement. “And we… saw your Mother outside of the train station… kissing someone else. And… it wasn’t your Father.” Twilight and Spike’s eyes both widened a little, quickly realizing what their friends were saying. “Twi, we’re so sorry,” said Applejack in as caring of a tone as she could muster. “Ah know this is a big thing to tell ya, but just know tha--” Before she could finish, Applejack was interrupted by the Princess and the drake. Of course, what threw Applejack off-guard, as well as the other four mares, was how Twilight and Spike broke the awkward silence: Laughter. While Twilight had one of her hooves over her forehead while cracking up, Spike was leaned against her and cackling wildly as well. Twilight’s friends all looked at each other worriedly, assuming that the two were just thinking that this was some big joke. Fluttershy turned her attention back to Twilight first. “Twilight, we… we’re not lying! We really saw Velvet kissing a girl!” Twilight finally came down from her laughter long enough to catch her breath, and she stared at her friends with an amused smile. “Is that all?” That statement threw the five mares way off. While they stared at Twilight and Spike with very puzzled expressions, the Princess just rolled her eyes before going back to her books. “Jeeze, girls! Don’t scare me like that!” “Yeah, really!” added Spike as he wiped his eyes and shook his head, redirecting his attention to one of the open boxes of books. “You were acting like something big happened!” The confused looks from the group only became stronger while standing in silence. Meanwhile, Twilight was looking inside of one of the boxes, getting back to her work like she wasn’t told anything at all. “Hmmm… Spike, did you see where the History of Gryphon Culture catalogue was placed?” “Oh, yeah.” Spike casually walked over to a different box. “I think I saw that in the box by my comics.” Looking like she was about to burst again, Rainbow Dash was blinking repeatedly with her muzzle wide-open. “Ummm… HELLO?!” “Hm?” Twilight looked up at Dash, seeming unsure why the cyan pony looked so bewildered. “Ummm… hello.” “Twi! Did…” Applejack had a hoof raised like she was holding some invisible object, and her head was shaking slowly while trying to figure out why her friend was acting this way. “... Did you NOT hear what we just told you?!” “Umm… yes?” Twilight looked back to Spike for clarification with a smile. “Mom has a new girlfriend. Good for her.” “Yeah,” replied the dragon in an equally happy tone. “I’m glad she’s getting back out there.” While their friends only grew more confused by the second, Twilight tapped her chin with a hoof in throught. “Although… I have to wonder why she didn’t tell us about it.” “Eh, don’t worry about that,” assured Spike with a wave of his claw. “She probably didn’t want to steal your thunder or anything.” “Spike, I have my own castle! How could she think having a new girlfriend would be stealing any of my thunder?” “W-WHAT?!” Realizing what Twilight was saying, Pinkie Pie finally spoke up in a shocked tone. “You… you said she has a NEW girlfriend?! Like… there were others?!” Twilight and Spike both looked back towards Pinkie in bafflement. “Well… yes,” answered Twilight while looking at the pink mare strangely. “She has. I mean, not recently, but she’s had several girlfriends before.” Pinkie could only blink in stunned silence, much like the other four mares beside her. After a few seconds, Rarity raised a hoof to clarify, “So… your Mother is a lesbian?” Twilight’s head reeled back as she gave a look like she was just asked if two plus two really equaled four. “Yes, Rarity! Yes she is. Why is that so weird?” The unicorn could only rub the top of her head like she was tending to a headache. Rainbow Dash shook her head violently before saying, “Wait, wait, WAIT! You mean… your Mom is gay?! And… your Dad has no problem with that?!” Twilight looked even more perplexed, only able to blink a couple times to let that question process in her mind. “Umm… why would he?” “Yeah,” added Spike in an equally confused tone. “He’s gay too.” THAT statement left all five mares completely silent. Instead of saying anything else, Twilight’s friends just looked at them with eyes as wide as frisbees, seemingly in shock from what Spike just said. The only statement that could be said was from Fluttershy. “What?” Twilight got herself back up from her books, and stared back at the five in bewilderment. “Why… why are you all looking at me like that?” Applejack blinked several times rapidly as she struggled to speak coherently. “B… b-both of them?” Twilight stared at her friend for a moment before looking back to Spike, who had the same unsure look that the Princess had. She then turned back to the five to answer them. “Yes, Applejack. Both of my parents are homosexual.” For almost a full minute, not a single one of Twilight’s friends moved an inch, and only stared at her in shocked silence. Spike’s eyes widened as he realized what was going on before Twilight could. “W… wait a minute…” He pointed a claw at them and asked, “Did none of you know that?!” “NO!!!” With the way all five mares shouted that at the same time, Spike and Twilight both jolted back in surprise. However, despite how shocked all of their friends still looked, Spike still turned his direction to Twilight in an irritated tone. “Twilight! I thought that you told them!” “I thought that they knew!!” Shouted the Princess back to Spike. She then looked back at the five mares. “Didn’t you all talk with my parents before?!” “Yeah!” shouted Applejack back at her. “They said they were married!” Twilight and Spike responded at the same time, “They are!” Another brief moment of silence passed, with all of Twilight’s friends looking even more baffled than before. Rainbow Dash blurted out without thinking, “HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?!” Twilight Sparkle face-hoofed as she let off a low, lingering groan. Realizing how much has been left unexplained, the Princess muttered under her breath angrily, “I swear, Mom told me...” After making a quick sigh and putting her hoof down, she turned to the drake beside her and asked, “Spike, can you get some tea made, please? This might take a while.” “Already on it,” said Spike as he walked past the mares and left the room, already putting on his pink apron. After taking a deep breath, Twilight looked back at her still confused friends. “Well… I’m honestly not sure where to begin…” By the time Spike finished making the second kettle of tea, along with a small plate of Macaroons, he rolled his dainty serving cart to the two opposing lounging couches of the library by the time Twilight finished her brief summary. “... So, since Mom wasn’t able to find anypony either, she followed through with their agreement and married my Dad as soon as she turned thirty. They had Shining less than a year later, and they’ve been happily married ever since.” Even though Twilight had a soft smile on her muzzle, feeling happy that she was able to explain her parents’ backstories as simply as she could, it didn’t change the fact that all of the other mares were seated across from her with looks ranging from uneasiness to still-lingering confusion. Seeing that none of them looked like they were getting the full grasp of what she said, Twilight sighed as her smile dropped. “I’m sorry, girls. I’m really trying here.” “Oh no, it’s alright, Twilight,” assured Rarity in a sympathetic one. “I think we all understand what you’re saying. It’s just… odd.” The other four mares nodded in agreement to Rarity’s description, which just made Twilight groan with a roll of her eyes. “Ugh! I seriously don’t see why it’s odd!” “Yeah,” added Spike as he refilled the mares’ cups and placed the plate of Macaroons on the coffee table. “I mean, a lot of friends have those marriage agreements, don’t they?” Rarity made a reluctant shrug before nodding. “Well, I suppose so,” admitted the unicorn meekly. “In fact, I think I made an agreement like that with a Pokey Pierce back in high school.” “Wait, what?” asked Rainbow Dash in surprise towards her. “I mean, he was a nice guy,” continued Rarity while looking around, realizing everyone was looking towards her. “We got along really well, and neither of us were able to find anypony special, so we made an agreement to marry if both of us were single by the time we turned thirty five…” Remembering what else occurred, the mare exhaled disappointedly before including, “But… he came out of the stable and started dating Ace shortly thereafter, so the deal was sorta over.” After blinking a few times, Rarity’s eyes widened before looking back to Twilight, “Wait, that does mean the deal is off, right?” Twilight gave a small nod. “I’m pretty sure it does,” said the Princess in an attempt to settle the unicorn’s nerves. “It’s not like my Mom and Dad didn’t know about each other before they made their pact. They both knew about the other’s orientation since they were foalhood friends.” “And they still wanted ta marry each other?” asked Applejack with narrowed eyes on Twilight. “Ah mean, Ah suppose it makes sense if they both want kids and didn’t wanna adopt, but it’s just weird to think a gay guy and a lesbian would do that.” Twilight shrugged in understanding. “Well, I can see your point,” said the Alicorn with a more relaxed tone, “but my parents are closer to one another than anypony else. They trust each other, care for one another deeply, and both of them had the same dreams of raising a loving family. And despite both of them being homosexual, the two really do care about each other more than they have any of their previous partners.” “Yeah, totally,” said Spike as he hopped up on the couch next to Twilight. “Just because they’re not physically attracted to one another, doesn’t mean they’re not in love.” Fluttershy seemed uneasy as she tried to ask bashfully, “But… if they’re in love with each other, then why do they still have girlfriends and boyfriends?” Despite the Pegasus’s question not being particularly brash or incorrect, the rest of Twilight’s friends still felt uncomfortable as they waited for her answer. Fortunately, Twilight didn’t look offended in the least, and just rolled her eyes like the answer was obvious. “Well, like I said, they both always knew about each other’s orientation. It’s not like they wouldn’t understand wanting a more physical relationship at times. And since they can’t really do that for each other, they agreed even before marrying that they can do whatever they want, as long as it was consensual and talked about beforehoof. Physical satisfaction is one of the most important aspects of any relationship, after all.” Fluttershy couldn’t help making a small nod in agreement. “Well, I guess I can’t say that you’re wrong about that…” Pinkie quickly pulled her hoof up like she was a schoolfilly in class. “Ooh! OOH!!” Twilight looked to Pinkie and nodded at her. “Yes, Pinkie?” The pink mare brought her hoof back down and looked at the Princess with her head tilted to the side. “So, if your Mom and Dad are married to each other, but sleep with other ponies because it makes them happy, does that mean your parents are swingers?” Everyone else stared at Pinkie in surprise from her out-of-the-blue question, but all Twilight did was pull her head back a little with a baffled expression. “What?! I…” Twilight’s mouth stayed open for a while, which was enough to keep Pinkie from clarifying her question any more. Slowly catching on to what her friend was meaning, Twilight looked down and brought her hoof to her chin in obvious thought. “Hmmm…” While the other mares (as well as Spike) just kept their eyes on Pinkie, Twilight took a moment before making a shrug of her shoulders. “Well, I… I never personally thought of it in that way, but… I suppose that if it makes you understand it better, then sure. They are sort of like that.” Pinkie nodded with a smile, happy with her friend’s answer, but her focus changed when Applejack asked, “Pinkie, how the HAY do ya know what swingers are?!” Pinkie stared back at Applejack like she asked a stupid question, and scoffed before bringing her hooves up. “Ummm… swinger parties? Hello?” “Wait, you go to those?!” asked Rainbow Dash in shock. Meanwhile, Twilight pulled Spike in and covered his ears with both hooves. “Well of course I do!” responded Pinkie Pie cheerfully. “Well, I might not go to them that often, but I’ve gone to a couple with Mister and Missus Cake. They go to swinger parties ALL the time!” She then grabbed a hoof full of Macaroons from the table, seemingly oblivious to the dropped jaws all of her friends had. She dipped a couple of the cookies into her tea before adding. “They always try to go to those parties when offered, since they usually get the best tips when they cater for them.” A very heavy sigh of relief came from everyone else, which just made Pinkie pull her head up confusedly. “What?” “Nothing, nothing,” said Twilight quickly after pulling her hooves from Spike’s head. “Let’s just… try to go back to topic, alright?” A small bout of silence passed, with most of Twilight’s friends unsure what to ask next. Rainbow Dash brought the conversation back to track when she asked, “So, have you and Shining Armor always known about this?” “Well, of course,” answered Twilight casually. “They explained it to both of us when we were young, so it was never really weird when either of them had partners in the house. In fact, Celestia was really impressed when I was able to explain alternative lifestyles and relationships in my first year of lessons!” Twilight grew a more prideful smile after saying that, feeling like she just brought up a good reference on her resumè. Applejack decided to ask next, “So, how did Cadance take this?” Hearing her question, Twilight and Spike both snickered a little. “W-well,” began Spike while sitting next to the giggling Alicorn, “apparently, Cadance kinda found out similar to you guys.” “Seriously?” asked Rainbow Dash wide-eyed. “How?!” Twilight had to cover her hoof for a couple seconds before she could stop giggling long enough to answer. “Well, after foalsitting me one night, she came back to the house to get her purse, and she caught our Dad with the tennis instructor.” Twilight’s friends all began to laugh as well, mostly from that mental image alone. Spike’s chortling only grew when he added, “Yeah! She almost blasted him because she thought there was an affair, too!” “B-but…” Twilight put up a hoof to grab their attention, waiting until the laughter subsided a bit to continue. “After Shining explained the situation to her, and she talked with both our parents about it, she was able to see that there was nothing wrong. She even used her magic to see how much love they had, and was able to verify quite easily that they had just as much love as any heterosexual married couple.” Rarity looked almost touched by that statement, and just grew a larger smile while going. “Awwww…” While Applejack and Rainbow Dash both rolled their eyes at the unicorn’s reaction, Fluttershy looked down to the floor as a new question came to her mind. “Ummm… Twilight?” When Twilight looked towards the yellow Pegasus, she noticed that the mare had a bit lip when she finally looked up at her. “Umm… yes, Fluttershy?” “I, ummm… I’m not sure if I should ask, but…” Keeping a hesitant look on her face, the timid mare took a breath and asked, “Are… are you and Shining Armor adopted?” “What?!” shouted Twilight and Spike at the same time. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Fluttershy covered her face with her hooves and shrunk herself against her spot on the couch. “I shouldn’t have said that, I’m sorry!” “Wha… why…” Twilight blinked repeatedly as she tried to determine why Fluttershy would ask that kind of question. “Why would think that we were adopted?!” “W-well…” Fluttershy’s head turned to the side so she could look at the arm of the couch instead of her friend. “I-I mean… if… if your parents aren’t physical with each other, then…” Twilight sighed deeply and rubbed her temple with a hoof, realizing what the Pegasus was trying to ask. “Well, I can understand what you mean, I guess, but Shining and I are not adopted. Our Mom and Dad are our biological parents.” Understanding Fluttershy’s point too, Rarity decided to clarify a detail by asking, “So, did they do artificial insemination?” Twilight cringed a little, and nudged at the baby dragon beside her. “Hey, Spike, you mind getting some of these dirty dishes back to the kitchen please?” Spike just rolled his eyes and got off the couch without question. “Yeah, sure…” Even though he knew she just wanted him out of the room as the topic got more uncomfortable, the drake still complied and put some of the empty cups and plates back on his serving cart. After he rolled the cart out of the library, Twilight made sure he was out of sight before turning back to Rarity. “And to answer your question, no, they didn’t. My Mom and Dad never really trusted those sorts of things.” She then shrugged before saying in a slightly uncomfortable tone, "They just… did it the old-fashioned way.” While all five of the mares looked surprised by that answer, Rainbow Dash’s eyes were the most narrowed before speaking. “Ummm… how?” Twilight grew a more deadpan stare back to the cyan Pegasus. “Rainbow Dash. I think you know enough about Equestrian biology to answer that question yourself.” “What? I--N-no!” Quickly getting what Twilight was assuming, Rainbow shook her head and threw her hooves out to stop her friend’s accusation. “No, I don’t mean THAT! I just… I meant, like…” Realizing she wasn’t sure how to ask, she turned to her friends for backup. “Guys, help me out here!” Fortunately, Applejack the first to take the reins for her. “Ah think what Dash is tryin’ ta ask is... “ Her expression grew slightly uneasy when she asked Twilight, “If yer folks aren’t attracted to each other, then how are they able ta… you know… get the motor runnin’?” While the other four mares were able to understand the analogy rather quickly, it took Twilight a moment before her eyes slowly widened. “Well, I… Oh… Oh…” All of her friends nodded at the same time, clearly wanting to know that answer as well. Twilight bit her lip and looked down at her hooves, obviously not wanting to talk about such a delicate detail in regards to her own parents. “Well, I… I guess I can see what you mean, since that is an important aspect of successful inter…that....” Not wanting to say that specific word, Twilight’s composure lessened for a moment before continuing. “B-but I… I suppose if you want to know, then… in simplest terms, they, ummm…” The Princess tried to tap her hooves together absent-mindedly to focus, but she quickly stopped when she realized what that may have been implying. While Twilight grew more uneasy by the second, making Applejack and Dash begin to have second thoughts about even asking, Spike’s voice called out from the hallway. “How do you think most ponies do it?! They got drunk!” Twilight yelled towards the doorway, “SPIKE!!!” “What?” asked the drake when his head popped into the room from the open doorway, “isn’t that what Mom said?” When Twilight looked back at her friends, all of them were staring at her wide-eyed. While the sound of Spike’s cart could be heard rolling away after he left the room, Twilight groaned with her hoof over her face. “Ugh… y-yes. There… there are several confirmed studies which have shown that alcohol not only helps relieve tension in activities like coitus, but can also lower judgement. So… a bottle or two of wine may have been involved when Shining and I were conceived.” After a short moment of silence, Rainbow Dash almost fell off the couch due to laughing so hard. Because of that, Applejack and Rarity couldn’t help giggling either. While Twilight pouted with a glare pointed right at them, Pinkie tried to lighten mood with a cheerful, “Oh, don’t worry about it, Twilight! A lot of straight couples make kids that way too!” Twilight only rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah…” After shaking her head and waiting for her friends to stop laughing, Twilight finished her cup of tea as she tried to summarize what needed to be said to them. “Well, all that needs to be known is that despite what my parents might do outside of their marriage, the basic fact is they’re both caring, dependable ponies who have done nothing but the best for me and my brother. They’re still in a committed and loving marriage, have raised Shining and me to be upstanding Equestrian citizens, and their orientations haven’t affected us in any negative way. And even if they pursue physical relationships apart from each other, they’re still my parents, and they’ll always be important to me.” After the Princess made that firm and concise explanation, she was fairly pleased to see that none of her friends looked upset or opposing of what she just said. In fact, all of them nodded in understanding to Twilight’s words, clearly not needing much more context. “Well,” began Rainbow Dash as she kept a bemused smirk on the Alicorn, “I can’t say I was EVER expecting to hear anything like this today. But I gotta admit, it does explain a lot.” “Wait, really?” asked Twilight with a hint of surprise. “Well, yeah! Only the most logical mare in Equestria would look at this in a totally normal way! I mean, I’m not judging,” added Dash more insistently, “but I’m just saying, it kinda makes sense, you know?” “And it doesn’t change our perceptions of them, or you,” added Rarity with a smile on her muzzle. “Everything that you told us has proven that they’re perfectly outstanding parents.” Applejack chimed in. “Darn tootin’. Ah mean, I wish I knew about this sooner, but Ah’m just glad yer Mom ain’t in an affair or nuthin’!” Twilight chuckled in agreement, rubbing the back of her head as she looked away with an embarrassed blush. “Yeah, I suppose. I really wish I told you girls, too. I just figured that they explained this to you!” Fluttershy looked slightly apprehensive before admitting, “Well… I’m not sure if any of us have really talked with your parents too much.” “Well, why not?” asked Twilight as she looked at the five mares, noticing that none of her friends were disagreeing with Fluttershy’s claim. “I mean, I thought you talked with them at the Coronation.” “Well, a little,” said Pinkie Pie with a shrug, “but that was honestly about it.” “But… how about at Shining Armor’s wedding?” Twilight’s question made all five mares wince at the same time. It was Rainbow Dash who was the first to make a weak answer. “Well, they kinda… ignored us during the reception. Not that we blame them or anything.” Twilight opened her muzzle to ask why, but stopped when she realized why her parents would’ve acted that way. The Princess slumped in her couch with an uncomfortable look on her face. “Oh... Well, at least they didn’t try to confront any of you about what happened. It’s bad enough that Mom went as far as she did.” Rarity tilted her head. “Wait, what do you mean?” “N-nothing!” Realizing what she almost said, Twilight quickly shook her head to change the subject. “Never mind, I just… I guess I can understand why they would be less than hesitant to talk to any of you back then…” She then sighed before shaking her head in irritation. “I just wish I knew they didn’t mention that! I mean, I remember Mom saying that she was caught up with you girls after the Coronation Dinner!” “It’s okay,” said Rainbow Dash with a wave of her hoof. “She probably just thought that YOU told us first.” “But it don’t mean nuthin’ now,” chimed in Applejack before Twilight could look guilty about Dash’s statement. “It’s just a big misunderstandin’, and there ain’t no big reason to fret about it now, right?” Twilight sighed and nodded with a reluctant smile, knowing that the farm-pony was right. “I… yeah, I do. Thanks, Applejack.” “No problem, Sugarcube,” responded the orange mare with a smile. Meanwhile, Rarity chuckled to herself in recollection and admitted, “I must say, though! After what we saw with your Mother and Gilda, I am beyond relieved that this isn’t an affair!” That made everyone laugh, including Spike who just came back into the room. However, by the time the drake got back on the couch, Twilight was the first to stop laughing long enough to think about that Rarity said. “Wait… who?” It took a moment before any of them caught what Twilight meant by that statement, but Rainbow Dash was the first to give a nonchalant reply. “Oh, yeah. It was Gilda we saw with your Mom. Pretty nuts, huh?” Despite that chuckle from the Pegasus, Twilight didn’t laugh back. Instead, her purple eyes just narrowed as she let that new snippet of information sink in. “... Gilda?” Applejack was starting to notice how her friend was looking, and began to grow slightly unsure when she clarified. “Umm, yeah. You know, that Gryphon gal who Pinkie threw a party for.” “Mmm-Hmmm!” added Pinkie with a chipper nod. Twilight stayed frozen in her seat, staring at them with a growing look of concern. “You mean… that Gryphon who yelled at everyone and almost murdered Pinkie?” By now, all of them could see that Twilight was beginning to look upset. Even Spike pulled himself back from a little. “Ummm…” Rarity looked between Twilight and the others before nodding. “Y-yes, Twilight. I… I’m pretty sure that’s her.” “... The one who made Fluttershy cry?” The infliction Twilight used at that last word was enough to warrant some legitimate worry from the others. Nevertheless, Fluttershy was still able to nod meagerly in confirmation. After several heavy blinks, the Princess’s lips pulled back, revealing a small snarl that was growing on her muzzle. “And you all saw Gilda… that same Gryphon… back at the train station MAKING OUT WITH MY MOM?!” Everyone jolted back from the outburst their friend made, but it was Rainbow Dash who put up a hoof to reply, “You know, this was kinda the reaction we expected you to have.” Twilight looked down and put a hoof to her chest, making a quick exhale like she was either about to gasp or barf. With a look of shock and disgust growing on her face, the Alicorn stayed in her seat for another few seconds before shouting out, “SPIKE!” The baby dragon flinched while Twilight got out of her seat and stormed out of the room. Before he could ask what she wanted, Twilight continued to yell angrily, “I need you to get my travel bag ready! We’re going to Canterlot!” “Uhhh…” While looking between Twilight and the five stunned mares on the other couch, Spike was looking legitimately scared when he finally got off himself and replied, “S-sure thing, Twi!” The drake ran out of the room after Twilight, leaving their friends alone in the library. Even though a few brief glances were exchanged, not a word was said before Applejack shot out of the couch first. “Now, wait a minute! We’re comin’ too!” Luckily, none of the other four Elements of Harmony seemed to disagree with Applejack’s statement, mostly since they didn't want Twilight to go on a murderous rampage towards the Gryphon sleeping with her Mother. When they got off the couch without hesitation to join with Applejack, Pinkie Pie did a cartwheel as she shouted with glee, “Woo-hoo! We’re going on a road trip!”