The Peach glared out of the Castle’s windows, tearing random bits of dress off his body. He managed to escape the one-track-minded fairy things, and snuck out when his prison flickered. He left a large blob behind; he spent most of his time fuming in that shape anyways, and they don’t listen to his ranting either. He found out that it was pretty near soundproof.
Somehow, his involvement caused a tax reform, construction of new schools, and a bolstered trade agreement with Equestria. And half of those happened while he was sleeping.
Oh well, at least Twilight agreed to house him for a bit. All he had to do for rent payment was to pay her in Peaches.
He twitched as an unpleasant memory suddenly surfaced. Wait ... wasn’t she the first one to go completely mad over them? He would need to remind her that he remembered that, and wouldn’t tolerate that shit. He was going to sit here and hide until the civilization died. None of the creatures on this stupid planet interested him.
“Don’t mess with my peaches.”
“No problem, Mr. Peach.”
“That’s not my-- you know what, I don’t care anymore. Just eat the damn things, and nothing else.”
Meanwhile, in a parallel universe
Flash (the human) exited his school, and hopped onto a skateboard.
Where did he get one? If you’re the type to ask these questions, you probably shouldn’t be reading this.
In any case, Flash rode down the sidewalk, occasionally doing a hop as teenagers like to do.
Suddenly, his phone rang. He picked it up.
“Flash!” the voice called. “Come quick, there’s a problem!”
“What’s up, Twilight” he asked of the girl who studied at Crystal Academy. “Is there something wrong with the future?”
“...Huh? Where did you come up with that idea?” Sci-Twi said. “Its your waifu. She’s being stolen. Come meet me at my lab.”
He nodded gravely. “Don’t worry, I’ll get there as fast as possible.”
“Actually... go to the street in front of my house and wait for me there. I want to show you something.”
Flash was confused. “I thought that custom portal you made was in a basement.”
“Look up.”
Flash turned the corner of the street, and his jaw dropped. There was a DeLorean backing its way out of garage. A whole bunch of wires, vents, pumps, and other confusing items sat across the vehicle’s body.
The car turned around and drove towards him, the driver waving at him. “Heya there, Flash.” she called out to him.
“You ... you built a time machine ... out of a DeLorean?”
“Ye -- What? No! This isn’t a time machine, its a Portable Portal Perpetuator. The thing in the basement works, but I thought I could do better. Make it smaller.” The purple haired teen stuck her head out the window. “I figured that I might as well travel in style. Plus, I wanted to test a theory on whether a capsule of sort could block magical energies or some such.”
She reached across the car and flicked the door handle. “Now come on, we got a waifu to steal!”
Peach made sure that Twilight wasn’t doing anything ... naughty with his peaches, and stood up to go back into his room to sulk. Of course, this was when a crack of thunder blew papers everywhere, then dumped a smoking DeLorean into the room. The residents stared blankly at it while the window rolled down. Sci-Twi stuck her head out. Her human head. “Oh hey, it works! Go me!”
Peach blinked. “Bwah?”
Peach then noticed the other door was already open. He then got run over by a kid on a skateboard. “Surrender, demon! You shall not take my girl!”
“Flash? What are you doing here?”
“Protecting you from this creature. You shall have none other than me.”
“I’m still here, you know!”
He was ignored.
“Tell me, what has he said to make you stray from the one true path?” Flash asked.
“I don’t care!” Peach yelled. “Take her, do whatever, I refuse to be a part of this!”
“I’m sorry, Flash!” Twilight yelled. “His peaches, so large and juicy ... I couldn’t resist!”
“You guys do know peaches are hermaphrodites, right?” Sci-Twi called, popping popcorn into her mouth.
“What the hell does that have to do with anything?!”
“That’s a great idea!” Twilight said. She grabbed two peaches from Peach’s outstretched limb and did ... things to it.
“ARRRGGGHH!”
Peach exploded with the force of a box of dynamite.
Sci-Twi sighed, wiping the fruit goop off her car’s windshield with the wipers. “You can’t just explode to avoid your problems.”
Flash and Twilight passionately made out in the pool of ‘love juices.’ Sci-Twi bit her lip at the scene. Damn, I look good.
Peach exploded twice.