I really, really didn't want to come back here...
I stared out the window... There it was. Canterlot. The Equestrian capital, home to a thousand years of history and the privileged few that served the royal guard.
I'd studied hard to join the academy and trained harder they didn't accept just anyone. They wanted brains and skill and courage! I'd shown all of that and more and gotten in with a commendation on my record...
And then I just broke down because of something stupid and I lost everything I'd worked so hard for.
Why did I steal that disinfectant?
"Kid, are you okay?" Street asked, putting a hoof on my shoulder.
I jerked back, shivering. "P-please don't do that! I'm not clean..."
She held up her hooves. "Alright... Okay... Question... Is this an attack?"
My heart rate was up... Everyone around me seemed like a threat... Or more accurately I was a threat to them with my filthy, disgusting body...
The rational part of me nodded.
Street got up and called for the conductor. "Oy! We need to make an emergency seat upgrade, are any of the sleeper cars available?"
The conductor blinked at her and they started some kind of animated conversation. I couldn't follow it because I was distracted. Some mare had draped her red mane over the seat in front of me and I was desperately pressing myself back into the seat so I didn't contaminate her.
You couldn't contaminate people without their permission.
"Kid!" Street yelled. She gestured for me to follow her into the aisle.
I got up, clamping my wings to my sides so I wouldn't brush anyone. The aisle was small, why was it so small? Oh that wasn't fair. There were definitely a pile of ponies that needed to get into the city and it's not like they could widen the train tracks...
Justice opened the door to a much more open car and pushed me inside. The conductor pointed to a little room with bunk beds and shepherded us inside. Street muttered some words of thanks and then locked the door behind us.
Justice let out a breath. "So... Should I stay or go?"
"P-please don't go!" I mumbled. "I mean, no... Maybe you should, I don't want to be a burden. That's all I ever am and I-"
She held up her hooves. "Easy there kid..." She curled up on one of the beds. "Why don't you hop on the cot over there and get some rest?"
I looked out the window and shakily eyed the city outside. "Wha- what about the job?"
Justice shrugged. "The train loops around every couple of hours. Don't worry kid, the world will still be a..." She shook her head. "Just, trust me... Work can wait."
#
As I sat there, watching Swift toss and turn in his bed I took a moment to wonder just what the buck I was doing.
My partner was a wreck. Tartarus, I was a wreck. What in the hay were we doing running into cities and tracking down criminals?
You know, not for the first time, I wondered if I should check myself into a nut house. Not to brag, but I think I would be the perfect mental patient. I didn't have expensive taste, I could follow orders... I may not have been able to keep track of my pills, but I was great at swallowing them by the gallon. There would be nothing to do but sort out my shit and catch up on some reading...
I knew it was a stupid fantasy. It was like hoping for the apocalypse so you could just take stuff off of store shelves, a minor benefit caused by something horrendously destructive.
It would be nice though... To have the time, and people to help me. The kid needed it too. It was so obvious it was painful.
But the world didn't work that way. You worked, you made money and then you spent that money on the help you needed... If you couldn't pay, well...
I eyed the towns we passed as we looped our way through Equestria's Cities. Celestia I envied them, those ponies that could just find a place in the world to fit into with a wave of their hoof... Only a few knew what it was like to be trash.
Yeah, I know, everyone tells me not to talk about myself that way, but it was pretty obvious. I was an ugly, violent, grim mare with no skills that would make herself valuable to society. And once people around you realized you were an adult that needed care and polish to be worth anything... Well, there were other things for them to spend their time on.
I couldn't really blame them. It made sense in a cold, calculating way. Why gamble on someone who might be valuable, but would probably end up a disposable pawn? Who would want someone like that?
Well... Except for Bounty.
I shuddered, rolling over on my cot. I legitimately had no idea what to make of that mare. Was she crazy or throwing up a facade? Come to think of it, was she in exactly the same boat as me and Swift? Maybe she was the cast off of a rich family who managed to wheedle a crappy job managing a bail bonds office and kept losing employees and hemorrhaging money because she didn't have good social skills.
Or... She was taking advantage of our misfortune.
I rolled over in the cot. Ugh! This whole situation was insane. I missed having friends... Having a home...
Home...
I peered out the window as the city's lights drew closer. Well... We were going to Canterlot, and I did have a key...
#
I had never expected that Street owned a building of any kind, much less a Canterlot warehouse.
Granted, it looked like it was a swift kick to a support beam from collapsing, and the lamps were in such bad shape I was astonished they worked, but it was a warehouse none the less.
She lead me through the rusted door and into the largely empty space beyond. There were a few boxes of... Something... Lying around, but mostly all I saw was a few desks with weird chemistry equipment and some kind of an office in the...
Wait... Weird chemistry equipment? I slammed my hoof over my muzzle and started backing for the door. "Street! Get out! This place is a meth lab!"
Street turned to me and raised an eyebrow. "What? Meth? Oh you mean the alchemy stuff." Street poked a beaker with a smirk. "Don't worry about it, a friend mine who co-owns this place used it at a lab before he got a real one. Don't worry though. He made plenty of messes, but he dang well knew how to clean them up."
I warily lowered my hoof. I'll admit I hadn't smelled anything... But the fact that this stuff was still here just raised further questions. "Wait... How the heck could your friend leave a bunch of chemistry stuff lying around in an unguarded warehouse and not have it get stolen by meth-heads?"
Street Chuckled, leaning back against one of the sturdier desks. "Where do you think we are, Neigh Jersey?"
I winced.
Street continued. "Canterlot's a bit too high class for meth to be a profitable commodity. And we're right up a mountain so it's not like things would be easy to transport out of he-"
There was a tinkling of glass breaking. An old, haggard stallion was standing right behind us.
Oh buck! We drew our weapons instantly. "DON'T MOVE!"
The Stallion froze, holding up his hooves held up in fear. "S-sssorry!"
"Keep those hooves where I can see them!" Street snarled. She went over to him and hoofcuffed him. He offered no resistance.
I approached him warily with my staff at the ready. Now that I had a better look at him calling him haggard was generous. He had deep bags under his ruddy brown eyes and a scraggly beard that went down to his knees. He had a worn down heavy coat wrapped around a frighteningly thin frame.
He was a unicorn, but I didn't think we had any need to worry about his spell casting prowess. His horn looked painfully cracked.
I narrowed my eyes and shoved my staff in his face. "Who are you? What are you doing on private property?"
The unicorn stuttered. "I- I just came here to keep the rain off. I'm sorry, I'll leave ye'! Please I don't want any trou-"
To my great surprise his eyes fluttered shut and he passed out. Street barely managed to catch him before his head hit the concrete.
I twitched, uncertain if it was a play of some kind... But, apparently being gripped by a giant muscle-mare was enough to wake him because he snapped right back with back with a sputter. "Oh... Oh dear... How Long was I out?"
Street blinked. "Uh... Like three seconds?"
The unicorn let out a sigh of relief. "Oh, that's good then. Wait... why do ye' smell like a mare?"
Street let him go and brought her gun back up. "That's because I am a mare. Any more questions?"
The stallion blushed. "Oh! Sorry 'bout that Ma'am. Anyway, I don't want to be any trouble, so I'll just-"
"Who sent you?" I asked, pointedly.
He stopped. "Eh... What?"
You may think I was being overly cruel, but something about him didn't add up. I let a few sparks crackle on my staff. "Don't play dumb. Your costume's good, but you're no wandering bum. You smell as fresh as daisies."
He paled. "Alright! Ye caught me... I may have snuck in to use this place's shower a few times... But I swear on Celestia! I don't mean no harm..."
I rolled my eyes. "Oh please, like we're going to buy-"
Street snagged the hanging ends of his scraggly mane and sniffed at it.
I stared at her.
After a moment she dropped the locks."Runey's discontinued butternut-squash shampoo... Sorry kid, it was a good catch, but his story checks out."
I paled. "This place has a shower?"
Street nodded. "The shipping office is half way livable, it's sort of why I brought us here."
I winced. Oh...
Street looked over the exhaused, broken stallion and lowered her gun. "You really shouldn't break into private buildings."
He looked down. "Quite sorry about that ma'am. I... I didn't have anywhere else to go."
I lowered my weapon. This... This was getting uncomfortable. "Wait, why haven't you gone to a shelter? Do you have any family?"
He chuckled ruefully. "When you keep falling asleep on your hooves shelters don't know what to do with ye'. The same goes for jobs. As for family, well..." He shrugged. "I used to think of the guard as my family, but I got m'self a bit too sloshed at one point and..." He gestured to his cracked horn.
I felt a pit forming in my gut.
He held up a hoof. "I ain't lookin' for sympathy sonny. It was me' own blasted fault. Funny thing, the magic works just fine, but I tend to conk out when things get all intense."
Street and I exchanged a look. Note to self: Cracked horns are still functional.
He cleared his throat. "Anyway, ye' folks have got better things to do than listen to an old stallion ramble. Would ye' be so kind as to let me take my leave?" He gestured to the cuffs.
Street winced, unlocking his hooves, giving him an apologetic look. He pantomimed tipping a hat and said. "Thank ye' kindly Ma'am I'll be off."
That said, the old stallion started limping away.
I know he'd just broken into a building, but... Staring at that gaunt, scraggly old man limp his way out of the safest place he'd found... It didn't feel great.
Street was having similar thoughts. She held up a hoof. "Wait... Do you have a name sir?"
The Stallion blinked, pausing to glance back over his shoulder. "Uh... The call me 'Sweeper' Ma'am."
Street nodded. "Right... Sweeper... Would you like a job?"
I raised an eyebrow. What?
Street reached into her vest and pulled out a fairly substantial pile of bits. "Listen, you've been here for a bit, and you clearly found a way past the door. We're a couple of professional bounty hunters looking to set up base camp and we'll need maintenance and security. I'd be willing to give you a hundred bit sign on-bonus and charge you just one bit a month in rent if you agree to stick around and fix this place up to the best of your ability."
Sweeper stared at her. "Beggin' your pardon Ma'am, but ye' could do a lot better than an old wreck like me."
Street snorted. "Please, you know the layout, and you probably know all the little cracks in this place's defenses. I'd be a fool to not want you around."
The Stallion Gulped, eyeing the stack of money uncertainly...
Finally he took the bits. "Thank you Ma'am. I can't promise I won't let you down; I've let down too many ponies to say that... But I'll try."
Street smirked. "That's all I'm asking."
The Stallion gave my partner a salute and started to turn around...
It was a perfect guard salute.
"Wait!" I called out.
Sweeper paused.
I grabbed a fist full of bits from my bag. "You'll need money to get cleaning supplies... Try the thrift store on third, they have tons of stuff that can help you make this place liveable. Pick some new clothes up while your at it. Can't have our employees working in rags right?"
The Stallion eyed me... Then took the bits with a smile. "Of course sir! I'll make sure to get some tarps and paint and the like."
That said, he trotted out the door with a look of purpose in his eyes.
I turned to Street. "We did a good thing today."
She nodded "Yep."
"He's going to spend that all on booze and forget we ever existed isn't he?"
Street shrugged. "Probably. Now help me clear off a desk. We've got a diamond smuggler to track."