David tapped his fingers on a table. He rested the side of his head on the palm of his left hand, fingers curved against his cheek, his view turned at an angle with his elbow resting on the surface. He sat with his right hand taking the radius of the round table, moving his digits in a mechanical but rhythmic fashion. With his eyebrows furrowed, he stared at the passing people beyond the wooden patio fence, walking by to their own next destination, cars periodically passing and lining up at the nearby stoplight.
He briefly checked his phone and grumbled. His attention swept the sidewalk, looking, searching. His chin moved to the cradle of his hand and the beat of his fingers changed. The flow of traffic had increased twofold since the last ten minutes, although he noted there hadn’t been that many cars coming and going in the first place. His stomach pained him. He regretted not picking up a small lunch when he had the chance between classes, and the empty pit only served him to angle his brows even lower.
He let out a heavy sigh. “My one day off work and I’m spending my time waiting for this jackass.” He wanted to be working on homework. He wanted to be out with his friends at a burger joint or something. However, irony fueled the distinct frown on his face, and he waited onward for his “guest”. He figured it was partially the other party’s fault. He had never wanted to meet where he was, in the middle of a restaurant outside on the patio instead of in an office, or at a park, or at someplace decent so he would be able to do something else besides feeling trapped while waiting. He tried to persuade to meet somewhere else of course, but he shouldn’t have wasted his breath. David took a precious moment to bury his head in his arms and slump over onto the table.
“Annoying. Annoying. So annoying.”
Just then, his phone vibrated. He instantly pulled it out of his pocket and answered it. He didn’t bother to check the caller info. He already knew.
“Where the hell are you?!”
Something touched his shoulder. He jumped.
“Right behind you.”
David turned around, glaring over his shoulder, his mouth screwed into an unpleasant arch. The tall man behind him looked down, the corner of his lips curved into a cheeky grin. His thick maroon eyebrows etched the amusement on his face, the nostrils on his thin nose flaring. He had a mustache lacking volume sitting on his upper lip and a soul patch sprouting in the curve between his round chin and lower lip. His long, thick, curly hair was absolutely ridiculous, spiraling down onto the shoulders of his brown leather jacket. Thin black gloves covered his hands, and his white cotton shirt hugged so close to his stomach one would be able to see his abs—if he actually had some. His jeans were ripped, although not naturally so from wear. Narrow, blue sneakers adorned his feet with the brand name printed on the white strip that touched the floor, David secretly wishing that it read “tool” to accurately represent the wearer.
David’s scowl could cut gems. The man burst into deep, loud laughter as he made his way to the seat at the opposite side of the white table, pulling the chair out and sitting down. David grumbled, unable to meet the man’s eyes after he was certain that everyone else on the patio was staring at them. He crossed his arms on the table, tapping his foot impatiently.
“Oh man, you had the wildest look right on you there,” the man explained, trying to wipe the tears out of his eyes.
“Yeah?” David rhetorically asked. “Glad I could make you laugh.”
“No, it was my pleasure, truly,” the man said, leaning back into his chair so that only two of its legs were on the ground. He put his hands behind his head and kicked his feet onto the table, pressing against the patio fence for balance. David was staring beneath the soles of his feet, the white rubber in squeaky clean condition with no signs of scuff marks at all.
David could barely keep himself from punching that smug toad in his pie hole. “Cut the crap, Jack. I need this to be quicker than your normal bouts of stupidity. I’ve got to get going somewhere in thirty minutes.”
“Whoa, whoa,” Jack said, putting his hands up in mock surrender. “Aren’t we the busy man, Dave? What’s the rush? I haven’t seen you in seven months. Why don’t we just kick back, relax and get to know each other again?”
“I know you have things to do too, Jack,” David replied, sitting up, massaging the muscle of his thumb in his right palm. “But I need to be specifically somewhere after five and I want to preferably leave without any extra baggage that you give me, like the damn bill. You owe me for the past fifteen times already. Besides, if you were here on time thirty-five minutes ago, maybe we wouldn’t be in this predicament.”
Jack held his hands over his heart. “Oh David, you wound me! The great David Carrian has no time for a little ol’ computer geek like me, who slaves away at his tiny, damp office, trying to get dozens upon dozens of orders done on time. Truly, I am a one-man army to suffer!”
David shot death from his eyes. He knew Jack’s line. He wasn’t a fish. “You have a business, Jack. What are you complaining about?”
Jack planted his feet back on the ground and grabbed the inside folds of his leather jacket like it was a business suit. “And a pretty good business, too! Many things have changed since you’ve last been in the office, Dave! We’ve expanded! Hired four new programmers to the office! The University of South Dakota is asking us to do applications for them! We’re set for the next fifteen years!”
“Yeah yeah, I get it,” David said, rolling his eyes.
The waitress took that moment to step in and ask for their drinks. David got a simple glass of water and Jack ordered a beer. The two of them eyeballed her as she left with their requests.
“So, what does the David Carrian need from me?” Jack asked, putting his elbow on the table and leaning forward.
“I need you to tell me how to find a virus.”
Jack snorted. “What, can’t find a virus on your own? Use your antivirus for god’s sake. If you don’t have one, use Windows Defender. Every PC has one.”
“I tried, but it didn’t find anything!” David claimed.
“Really now? Then how do you know you have a virus?” Jack inquired, leaning forward and raising an eyebrow.
David bit the inside of his cheek. “Random copies of programs keep opening onto my desktop and I can’t stop them.”
Jack rolled his right hand in a circular motion. “No, you gotta be more specific than that. When does it happen? What opens up?”
“It happens randomly!” David exclaimed. “I can’t tell when it occurs. One day it happens seven times in an evening and another only once. And it opens up any kind of program, really. Once it was twelve copies of paint, then five copies of Counter-Strike. That was a great day. I had to wait thirty minutes for my computer to calm down so I could shut down all the windows!”
Jack pinched at his chin and looked down at the table, frowning. “And nothing else has been happening that seemed odd? Nothing of notice? No messages popping up?”
“No, not messages,” David said. “But I think I’ve been spotting an out-of-place program or two in task manager. They don’t look like anything that belong there.”
“How do you know? Have you tried Googling them?”
“…No,” David hesitantly said.
“Hmm, well you probably have yourself some malware that got onto your system when you’ve downloaded and installed something, although I would think that malware would do something other than opening up random stuff, unless it’s trying to do something deeper inside your system. I’m curious as to why your anti-virus didn’t pick it up, though.”
“So? How do I find it?” David asked.
“You don’t. You go Google 'Malware Adhesive' and let it find it for you. It’s an anti-virus supplement that boosts the security of your system, specifically against malware. Download it, install it, run it, and let it scan your system. Give me a phone call if it didn’t find anything, because then you might need to bring it in to the office for a look-over.”
“I’m not bringing in my computer to you! You would charge me!” David said.
Jack gave David a queer look. “I wouldn’t charge you much, you dolt. You know I’m not a computer repair shop, so what rates would I charge you with? You would only have to pay for the most basic of service fees, and no, that’s not a rip off. You should consider it a favour between friends. I thought you wanted this virus off of your system?”
David didn’t know what to say to that. “It hasn't really done anything too destructive yet. I've been able to restart my computer without any problems, and as far as I can tell I'm not missing any files.”
Jack’s look intensified. “Well, I’m glad to know that I wasn’t lying about you being special. Why the hell did you call me over if you don't want my help?”
David grunted. "I need your advice, Jack, not your help."
"Touché," Jack said, crossing his legs and leaning off of one side of the table.
The waitress came over and delivered their drinks, asking for their order. After a few moments of consideration, David asked for a burger meal, and Jack a steak. The waitress left once again.
“What can you tell me about artificial intelligence?” David asked.
Jack was startled. He scratched his temple, looking at the sky for his answer before he squinted and returned to David. ” You’re doing the ‘purposefully vague’ thing again. You gotta be more specific.”
“Tell me about artificial intelligence,” David tried to clarify. “How does it work?”
Jack rubbed the bottom of his chin, one elbow on the table. He took a swig of his beer. “Well, there are multiple types of AI. You could consider some everyday programs to be AI, such as electronic thermostat readers that moderate the temperature in a room. There’s CS, or cognitive simulation, where we try to get the computers to reflect the human thought process, like recognizing a face, or researching paranoia. Then, there’s strong, or hard, AI.
“Hard intelligence is exactly what it sounds like. It’s when programmers try to get a computer to act and think like a human being. This usually involves interacting with it through conversation and making it generate responses that are both sensible and unique. Very hard level AI have some form of thinking ability and emotion. Well, as best emotion as their programmers can give them. We still haven’t been able to perfectly create an artificial intelligence that is like the human brain, though.”
David bit his lip. He hoped Jack wouldn’t notice the sweat slowly matting on his forehead. “Really?”
“Yeah, really. The idea of cognition in a computer has always been popular since the conception of AI. We would get stories, TV shows and movies exploring on the idea, years back. It’s pretty interesting stuff, all the crazy things those Hollywood writers come up with. Hah, you’re lucky at all that I know a thing or two about artificial intelligence! I’m just glad I touched upon those classes last year.”
“Is it possible to get a personal AI?”
Jack blinked. “What, like a software helper for your phone or computer?”
“Uh,” David uttered, his brain stalling. “Y-Yeah, one of those.”
Jack folded his arms. “Well, it’s not like they're a hard thing to come by, David. There’s a lot of tiny developers that create and sell virtual assistants to the average business-goer. You could find a myriad of easy AIs on most app stores. Of course, the price will vary depending on the quality of companion you want, but I would ballpark the amount to, say, about one-hundred and twenty dollars starting price.”
“But these assistants, they’re just for helping you, right?” David inquired, leaning forward in his seat, hands on the arms of his chair. “They can’t actually carry a conversation with you, right? They don’t hold their own opinions or emotions; they’re just there for suggestion.”
“Of course, David,” Jack scoffed. “Vocal and text interaction with helpers are limited. You can’t carry a conversation with them for long, unless you get one of those thousand-dollar AIs that can help you with multiple things at once, and even then they will probably limit you to talking to them about things they already know or can help you with. These assistants normally won’t learn from your habits or mistakes and only get smarter when developers push out a patch.
“Are there speaking AIs available to the public? Is it all just for helping you do office work or whatever?”
“What, are you kidding me?” Jack started with a laugh. “The normal customer can’t possibly get an AI that's that intelligent!”
“And why not?”
“Because we haven’t figured it out yet!” answered Jack, shrugging dramatically and looking around as if there was an audience behind David. “The human mind is not easily simulated! The brain already is a condensed and complex thing. To be able to understand it is not within any programmer’s reach. God knows psychology is the study of the human mind, but it is a study. Doesn’t mean we understand it, and therefore, because we don’t exactly understand it, we can’t exactly copy it perfectly onto a hard drive, no matter how much space it is given.”
David felt the blood drain from his face. He prayed that Jack wouldn’t notice. “Not even on a high-end rig?”
“Not even close,” Jack responded, shaking his head. There was a sudden pause in the cadence of his speech, and Jack suddenly leaned forward out of his chair cushion, eyes slyly scanning the nearby area as he licked his lips. His next sentences came out in a hush. “In order for computer programs to think, they need intensive, complex algorithms to sort out their thought processes, logic and proofs for every single possible case of conversation, and limitless places for memory in order to sort out emotions.
“Those kinds of AI could only exist in large scale operations that are properly funded, where a team of programmers would have access to the proper hardware, and not pieces of a PC that can be found on the common market, custom parts or otherwise. Without special parts, the AI would be really, really slow to respond to simple sentences and commands. It would take dozens of minutes for formulate the proper response, if the response was purely made by the AI and not generated from answers it already has.”
David became aware of his slightly unhinged jaw for a moment and promptly brought it back up. He blinked a few times, his brain on overtime. He leaned back into his seat as slowly and calmly as possible, throwing a long, hot breath out of his nostrils as he mulled over Jack’s words. The patrons of the restaurant were minding their own business, gently chatting to each other, David spotting them from the corner of his eye. The sky was clear, the overhead blue letting the sun come down to ease the noticeably cool wind that swept down the narrow street into the patio. Jack’s eyebrows pointed to the nose below them, his crusted lips frowning in a polygonal fashion. His gaze bore into David’s eyes, but David failed to notice. His attention was reached only when there was suddenly a blurry red blob floating between his pupils.
His eyes went into focus and he moved his head back to see the object properly. Jack was practically over the table now, his right elbow threatening to topple his drink over as he held the red piece out in front of David’s face. It took David a few seconds to actually recognize what Jack was shoving in his space.
“Take it,” Jack instructed. David gingerly pinched it with two fingers. Jack shifted so he wasn’t as much over the table anymore.
“What do I need this for?” David asked, pointing to the USB stick, looking at Jack. It wasn’t immediately apparent to David, but the piece of obsolete hardware was actually more bulky than it should have been, with the USB plug a third of the area that the rest of the stick took up. There was a black bulb sticking out of the top, surrounded by two half-circles that made into a whole.
Jack went back into his seat, letting his eyes relax from David. He pulled out a cigarette from his jacket and a lighter from his pants, holding the piece to his mouth and lighting it. A small trail of smoke led from the end, and after a moment he pulled away the cigarette, letting out a breath refilled with patience. “I don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself into, David,” he said, putting up a hand to stop David from getting out of his seat as David began to stand to object. "And no, I'm not going to ask. I already know you wouldn't tell me anyways. But just in case, in whatever you are doing, if something goes wrong, something nasty happens to your computer, I want you to have that just in case."
David swallowed. “Why? What does it do?”
“That,” Jack began, pointing at the device. “Will zap your computer. A literal electric jolt, from a battery inside the stick, right through the USB drive, into the system and flips the tiny switch that keeps everything in your system up and running. It circumvents PC permissions and delivers its purpose front-and-center. One use only. From there, you can decide whether you want to pick up the pieces that are left of your rig, or bring it in for a check-up. Think of it like an EMP, except it won't fry everything completely and it won't blow up.”
“Are you crazy?” David exclaimed. “I mean, wouldn’t that hurt my computer?”
“It might leave your USB drive a little burnt, and some data might become corrupt, but otherwise your computer should be able to boot back up. I wouldn’t be giving this to you if I knew it would completely break everything in your computer,” Jack said, turning his shoulder to the right and drinking the last of his beverage.
"Where did you even get this from? And how do you know this will work?" David had to ask.
“I made this for personal use, David. Don’t think that this was a special gift just for you. Sometimes some things go wrong and you need a backup plan to make everything right again.” Jack revealed the insides of his jacket to him. The inner lining was filled with see-through pockets, each filled with either a USB stick, a small, compact screwdriver or a wire. He adorned a wild grin. "And when you're on the job, you always have to be ready."
David sat, puzzled. He let time pass, with Jack staring at the road while everything was brought out of focus. He knew how smart Jack was. He knew how to put the pieces together very quickly when they were all laid out in front of him. David cursed himself. He looked at Jack as Jack smoked the rest of his cigarette, his gaze lazily rolling off of some young friends having a meal together at the corner of the patio. Jack sipped lightly at his booze. David bit the inside of his cheek. Would he find out, somehow? Would he remotely get onto his PC and take a look at David's "virus" himself? If Twilight got onto his computer so easily, then what would stop Jack? And is Jack's USB stick a ploy? If he plugged it in, would it upload information to Jack? Could a USB stick do that?
What would Jack do if he found out about Twilight?
Would it be that bad if he found out?
It both threw his stomach in loops and pulled a weight off his shoulders.
The waitress from before abruptly arrived to deliver their meals. David’s eyes met her hands with a startle, and Jack seemed to be drooling as his plate of steak fell before him. He didn’t waste as single moment’s notice before he took a fork in one hand, a knife in the other, and dug down.
“One more question, if you don’t mind Jack,” David asked. Jack looked up, his mouth stuffed with beef. His response came in a garble between his full cheeks. “How do I find a program from Task Manager?”
David collapsed into his chair, his computer already woken up and logged on, monitor turned on with Twilight silently reading something on the invisible ground in her corner of the screen. His backpack rested on the floor to his right, and he still had his red sweater on from outside, even though he was sweating. He slumped in his chair, left hand hanging limp off the edge, the other massaging his forehead. Wiping off the grease from his fingertips onto his pants, he grabbed his headset and glasses on the desk and slid them on, lowering the attached microphone from the speakers and adjusting it properly, pressing the on button on the side of the device when he was ready.
When he opened his eyes, he was looking into Twilight's world. He had already noticed a week earlier that she began to read completely lying down instead of sitting on her haunches like she had previously been, staring below her hooves into something she could see that he couldn’t. She was reading something invisible underneath the floor. The concept of that happening was beyond David, be he could accept it if Twilight had gotten used to it so quickly. He almost felt a pang of sympathy for the poor girl, having to read something flat on the cold ground. It almost looked awkward to him, but Twilight didn't budge an inch when she was focused in her activities, except for her tail occasionally switching side and her horn giving off a glow here and there.
“Hard day?” Twilight asked without looking up. Her horn glowed for a moment before shutting off.
“No, not really,” David responded.
“That was quite the tired sigh,” she pointed out.
“I didn't realize I did," he admitted. "I have a lot to think about."
This time she looked back through the screen. "Wanna talk about it?"
"No, not really."
His hand flew to his mouse, gaining control of the tiny white arrow on the screen. He clicked on an icon with a computer monitor that had a blue heartbeat sensor wave on the front, and Task Manager opened for him. He organized the processes listed by memory, and found pony.exe sitting as the top contender once again. Right clicking on the process, he took special care to avoid the option listed as “End process” and moved the cursor right over underneath it to “Open file location”.
He clicked.
A window popped up on the screen with a white “x” behind a soft blue background.
ERROR: Access Denied.
He tried again after giving himself administration rights. He got the same message. His cheek fell into his hand, resting his weight on the surface of his desk.
“Figures. Nothing worthwhile is ever that easy.”