//------------------------------//
// The Double Life Affair 
// Story: The Friendship Detection Agency (FDA) 
// by FlareGun45 
//------------------------------//

Back on the Zeppelin, Orange, Cesaer, Elusive, and Jelly were all sitting in their cell still, waiting for something to happen. Well the wait is no longer as a Marmellata mobster opens the cell door, which causes Elusive to screech.

“Mobsters return! They kill us all!” Elusive yelled. “Please don’t take me! It was just a debt! A debt I tell you! Is it worth taking somepony’s life over! I have so much of my life I still need to do! I can give you passes to the VIP lounge in my club! Just please! Please don’t hurt me!”

“HEY!” the prisoner one cell over yelled as he knocked on the wall. “Will you pipe down in there?! It’s bad enough I have to suffocate in this small dark room waiting for my enemies to gain power and my organization to lose power! The last thing I need is to hear whining!”

“Quiet, hater!” Elusive yelled.

“Shut up!” Orange yelled at Elusive. “I agree with him, dawg! You need to pipe down!”

“Yeah, holms!” Cesaer agreed.

“Well sor-ry!” Elusive complained. “I don’t need one of my ex-manager’s gangster friends to make me feel worse than I already feel!”

“Ugh!” the pony next door groaned. “Why do I have to be next door to a bunch of babies?!”

“I heard that!” Elsuive yelled.

“Yeah, fool! Want me to mess you up!?” Orange yelled.

“SHUT UP! The boss is trying to rest!” a blue mobster pony yelled from outside.

“Yeah, buddy! You just askin’ for somepony to be sleepin’ with the fishes!” the other mobster pony yelled.

“I love fish though.” Elusive said. “I mean, I love them as pets in bowls, but not to sleep with them!”

“All of you be quiet!” the Marmellata mobster escorting the two rival mobsters yelled from outside as he opens my cell door and he throws them back inside our neighbor’s cell. “You stay here and stay quiet.” The Marmellata mobster ordered them. “I have to deal with your neighbors first.”

“By all means, take care of them.” The first voice next door insisted.

“JERK!” Elusive yelled as he pounded the wall. 

The Marmellata mobster walked over to our cell with the first one, and Jelly said, “What do you clowns want?”

“All of you are being escorted somewhere else.” The first Marmellata said.

“Can’t be no worse than being next door to whoever’s next door to us!” Elusive said.

“Well the thing is you four are being separated in twos.” The first Marmellata said.

“Anything to get away from this whiner.” Orange complained as he pointed to Elusive, and Elusive suddenly glares at him.

“Well I believe you should be glad to hear that you two you are coming with us.” The second Marmellata said. “Our partner would like to speak to you two.”

“What partner? Who is this partner?” Cesaer asked.

“You’ll see.” The second Marmellata said. “Now come on. He doesn’t like waiting.”

“Best of luck to you dos.” Cesaer said to Elusive and Jelly.

“Yeah, you fools are gonna need it.” Orange agreed as he and Cesaer followed the second Marmellata mobster out of the cell.

“What are you going to do to them?” Jelly asked nervously.

“That is none of your concern.” The first Marmellata said. “Now, as for you two – you two are coming with me. The boss wants to see you.”

“What does your boss want with us?” Jelly asked.

“We’re bait, remember?” Elusive reminded her. “I mean, it’s not like he’s coming for us though, dear.”

“Mr. Marmellata thinks otherwise.” The mobster said.

“Well tell ‘Mr. Marmellata’,” Elusive said in a teasing accent, “he’s not going to have any luck.”

“The boss is never wrong. Now get moving!” the mobster orders them.

“SHUT UP!” the prisoner next door yelled. “SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!”

“YOU SHUT UP!” Elusive yelled at the next door. “YOU SAY I’M TOO LOUD! LISTEN TO YOU!” 

“Let’s go, Elou.” Jelly said as she and Elusive follow the mobster out of their cell.

Meanwhile back in the underground passageway, the DIF was still blocking our path and the Marmellatas were blocking behind us, and I was very concerned on what I just found out. “So I was all part of your plans, huh?” I asked.

“Exssssactly!” Snake said. “Agent S was really interested in you in particular! The way you turned joints, all those raids and heists, it wassssss beyond anything we could ever imagine.”

I then wiped the spit off my face. “Say it, don’t spray it!” I complained.

“Yeah he does that a lot.” Eclipse said.

“SSSSSSHUT IT!” Snake yelled at him.

“That word doesn’t even have a ‘Sss’ sound.” Eclipse corrected him.

“Wow listen to you. Is Snake’s ways rubbing off on you, Norton?” Merry teased.

“Perhaps.” Norton played along.

“Quiet!” Snake demanded. “Now then, Agent Jam-“

“Hey you knew me for a long time. Call me Jerry.” I insisted.

“Don’t tell me what to do!” Snake demanded. “Anyways, I bet you’re concerned why we’ve been watching you for a long time.”

“Not really.” I said.

“Really?” Snake asked surprisingly.

“No, I really am, I just wanted to give you a hard time, mate.” I smiled mischievously.

“And it is working.” Snake said.

“So go ahead, Snake. Tell me why you’ve been watching me all this time.” I said.

“Very well then.” Snake said. “You deserve the right to know as anypony else. We’ve been watching you and your friendsss for a very long time. They have been most impressssssive.”

“Why didn’t you arrest us then?” I asked. “You had the opportunity to anytime!”

“You were an interesting specimen to ussss.” Snake said. “Seeing you going off like that, pulling all those criminal activities, it made us interested with you joining us.”

“Join you?” I asked. “You hire criminals? Wow!”

“So do we.” Fritter informed me.

“Excuse me?” I turned around and asked curiously.

“We all hire criminals.” Fritter said. “They’re useful to us if they’re good enough. It’s another way to reform them, by doing community service.”

“Not to mention, you were a criminal once too so don’t act too surprised, Jer.” Merry reminded me.

I then chuckled a bit in embarrassment. “Of course. How can I forget?”

“But for some reason, you turned yourself in.” Snake said. “We could’ve had you join us if you didn’t turn yoursssselves in.”

“Well then I’m glad I turned us in!” I said. “I’m not interested in joining the DIF. The FDA is much better in my opinion. The police chief said so, and I took his word for it.”

“You agreed to sssomepony elses opinion?” Snake asked. “Don’t you understand how sssstupid that sounds?”

“I was 11 at the time!” I informed him. “Foals would believe anything anypony tells them.”

“So you were corrupted at foalhood into thinking the FDA is the best way to go.” Snake said.

“The FDA IS the best way to go.” Fritter said.

“Jerry here,” Merry places her hooves on my shoulders and rocked me, “he has accomplished a lot during his days as an FDA agent. Yes, he made some mistakes here and there, and even put the FDA at risk of being disbanded.”

“Way to remind them, Mer.” I complained.

“But he could’ve did a lot worse if he was a part of the DIF.” Merry said.

“And how!” Fritter agreed.

“And how?” I repeated curiously.

“Yeah I never got the meaning myself when I first heard it.” Merry informed me.

“So how long have you been watching me then?” I asked.

“Long enough.” Snake said.

“How about you, Norton?” I asked. “How did it feel spying on me all my life?”

“I wasn’t in the DIF for that long.” Eclipse informed me. “I pretty much started around the same time as you, Snake tells me. A few weeks before that though. My first assignment was taking care of somepony you know.”

“Wait what?” I asked.

“Nevermind, I said too much.” Eclipse stopped himself.

“Just like R.E.M.!” Gordon teased.

“Shush, Gordon!” Dargon stopped him.

“Yeah, dragons! You’re next!” one of the Marmellata mobsters warned them.

“Well, all this pretty much explains why the DIF want me so bad.” I said. “But why do the Marmellatas want me? They seem a little too desperate for it for ponies that are trying to get their criminal charges dropped.”

“How do you know that? They were after all of us.” Dargon asked. “They got Scales!”

“I don’t.” I said. “Here I got a better question. Why would the DIF want to use the Marmellatas to capture somepony like me? The DIF is a big organization. You don’t need another organization to capture one pony.”

“We have our reasonsssss.” Snake said.

“Care to explain? Since you told us a lot already?” I asked.

“You’ll find out soon enough, Agent Jam.” Snake said. “You will find out sssssoon enough.”

“In that case, our work here is done.” Merry said as she takes out a detonator and the tunnel behind us explodes. Fritter and I were really startled, but Merry… she didn’t even flinch. She just mischievously stared at Snake as she took out the detonator and pressed it. It’s the kind of badflank that Merry May is.

As the tunnel behind us explodes, it cuts the Marmellata mobsters from us. It would take a lot of digging to catch up to us. As that happens though, the street above us collaspes. The sinkhole that was created up above was the same street the giant cannon that gave us trouble before was on. The cannon falls right through the sinkhole and causes the blockade which cuts the Marmellatas off from us. It would’ve made more sense if I just said that the first time. The DIF got startled as well, so much that most of them fainted.

“WHOA!” Eclipse said surprisingly as he drops the candy cane out of his mouth that he was sucking on. Yeah, he was sucking on his mouth, that’s exactly what I just said.

“WHOA INDEED!” Fritter yelled. “Merry, what gives?!”

“Relax, the Marmellatas are fine.” Merry said. “It was either them or the DIF, and those mobsters were really getting on my nerves.”

“Whatever.” Snake said. “This wasn’t the time we wanted to capture you anyway. Your time will come sssssoon enough.” Snake and Norton started to walk away, but we didn’t want that to happen just yet.

“Wait a minute! Why don’t you answer my questions nooOOw?!” I yelled. I tried to go after him, but the remaining DIF agents were blocking the way, distracting us, giving Snake and Norton time to escape.

“Hey! Get out of the way!” Fritter demanded.

“When Eclipse and Snake escape, we will move.” The agents said.

“Why don’t you move now, or else?” I threatened him.

“Or else what? Violence? You know you don’t stand to that level!” the agent reminded us. “And you, dragons! You’re still safe as long as you don’t help these ponies!”

“Why don’t we barbeque you here and now?” Dargon asked. “I mean I won’t intentionally help these agents, but it will give me satisfaction.”

“Intentional or non-intentional, either way, you can’t touch us.” The agent said. “Ok, well, Norton and Eyes seem to be far enough. We will see you agents later. And we have our eyes on you dragons!” The agent places his hoof near his eyes and then points to the dragons, and then the DIF agents walk away.

“Ok before we say anythin’ else, let me just say, Merry… WHAT IN TARNATION WAS THAT!?” Fritter yelled.

“What do you mean, Apple Fritter?” Merry asked. 

“The dynamite. Since when was that there?” Fritter asked.

“She placed some dynamite there before the battle, just in case we were being followed.” Dargon said.

“And the results it given us! Dang!” Gordon said surprisingly. “We even took out their giant confetti cannon!”

“At least that won’t bother us anymore.” Dargon said. “But now Scales is gone.”

“He might’ve been captured by the mobsters.” Merry assumed.

“But don’t worry, Dargon.” I said. “Our next target is Mr. Marmellata of the Marmellata family. We need to find out what he’s up to. If Agent Snake Eyes won’t give me enough detail, then maybe the don himself will.”

“Interrogate him?” Fritter asked.

“In a way, sure.” I said. “But perhaps it won’t be necessary. Agent Eyes wants me to go see him it would seem.”

“Smells like a trap.” Fritter assumed.

“Traps don’t have a scent, Fritter.” Merry teased.

“Is this really the time now for jokes, Agent May?” Fritter asked.

“Every time is a good time for jokes, as Flare once said to me.” Merry said.

“What’s with you and Flare, Merry?” I asked. “How do you even know him?”

“We both live in Ponyville.” Merry said. “He’s a pretty cool pony.”

“You talk about him nonstop.” I said. “Is there something you wish to tell us?”

“Oh what? You’re interrogating me now?” Merry complained. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, but don’t we have a mission to do?”

“You brought it up. Just sayin’.” Fritter reminded her.

“So what are we going to do now?” Merry asked.

“I dunno. Dargon? Gordon? Any suggestions?” I asked.

“You heard the weird pony with a lot of issues, we can’t help you.” Dargon said.

“You can if you tried!” Merry informed him. “This is your chance to earn your freedom!”

“Thanks, but no thanks.” Gordon said. “We prefer to be in exile if you don’t mind.”

“Yeah, you know how all these ponies are going to react when they find out fully grown dragons flock their neighborhoods?” Dargon asked.

“But the mob has your leader!” Merry reminded them. “This is as much of your business as it is ours!”

“We cannot do anything to help you, I’m sorry.” Dargon said. “We helped you enough as it is, but perhaps, if you wish, you can rescue Scales for us while confronting Mr. Marmellata. We’d call it even, and we’ll flee the city.”

“Perhaps we should try Fillydelphia next.” Gordon suggested. “I heard there’s a bit of an underground dragon community there.”

“So that’s it? You just want us to rescue your leader and then y’all are just goin’ to cut ties and run?” Fritter asked.

“That’s the general plan.” Dargon said.

“Huh… ah don’t see why not.” Fritter shrugged. “We’d be helpin’ you out.”

“Don’t we have a say in this?” Top Notch asked.

“Yeah, for real?” Cheese Noodles agreed.

“Oh, ah forgot you two were here.” Fritter admitted.

“Yeah, same here.” Merry agreed.

“To be honest, so did I.” Gordon said.

“Are you kidding me?!” Top Notch complained.

“Well you two aren’t dragons, maybe you could help us?” I suggested.

“We remain loyal to our dragon brethren.” Top Notch said.

“Yeah, we can’t just abandon them now.” Cheese Noodles said. “They need us, and we need them.”

“So that’s it then?” Merry asked. “What are you going to do? Just hide down here until Scales is rescued?”

“Perhaps.” Dargon said. “I mean, maybe we should try somewhere else since the police should we arriving here any minute.”

“Why don’t we all go look for some shelter then?” Fritter suggested.

“We can’t help you!” Dargon reminded us.

“Exactly. You can’t help us.” Fritter said. “But they didn’t say we can’t help you. We’ll help you find all of us some shelter, and y’all would do nothin’ to help us in the process.”

“I’m not sure if that’s the way it works.” Top Notch said.

“Now hang on, I think they’re onto something.” Cheese Noodles said.

“Look, as long as the DIF thinks we’re helping you, they know it’s going to delay us from stopping them.” Merry said. “The DIF can stop you from helping us, but they cannot legally stop us from helping you. As long as we help you, they can’t do anything. It’s FDA policy.”

“Hmm…” Dragon thought it over

“She does make a good point.” Gordon said.

“Ok, FDA, we’ll give you the chance to help us.” Dargon agreed. “But are you sure they can’t do anything?”

“Not legally.” Merry said. “If they do, we can report it, and the DIF will be in so much trouble. The DIF cannot meddle in FDA affairs. Trust me on that.” Merry then looked over at me and said, “I know from experience.” So we all agreed that we’d help the Dragonites, but they cannot help us. I mean, it’s not really that fair, but at least the DIF can’t do anything, but unfortunately, the Marmellata family can, but we didn’t want to tell them that.

After a few hours, we got to the other side of the tunnel, and Dargon points out, “Ok, the exit is just through here.”

“I know that, I travelled through this tunnel before the battle.” Merry reminded him.

“THEY don’t know that.” Dragon reminded her pointing to Fritter and me.

“Well THEY might not want to be put down like that and just stick to the mission at hoof.” Fritter said.

“Or claw.” Gordon added.

“Or hands.” Cheese Noodles added.

“Or fins.” Top Notch added.

“Or feathers.” Merry added as she spreads her wings.

“Or… umm… yeah, I can’t think of another one.” I said. So we all climbed up the ladder out of the tunnel, and with Fritter leading we climbed out of the tunnel and made it to the surface where it was dark out. As we all climbed up, we were in the middle of a park of some sort that was really out of shape. 

“Here we are – Fashion Park.” Merry said.

“Not a very well-stabilized park. Could use a little TLC.” Top Notch said.

“More like TLC.” Cheese Noodles said.

“That’s what I just said.” Top Notch reminded him.

“Yeah but mine means something else.” Cheese Noodles said.

“At least nopony is here to see us.” Dargon said. Just then, over at the long weedy grass nearby, it started to move like something was inside it.

“You sure about that?” Gordon asked.

“Keep on the alert.” Merry said. We kept on the lookout as we walked through the nasty park. It was so nasty that Fritter even stepped on decades-old dog poo. It was so old that it turned into dust, which is a relief because if any fresher, her jumpsuit would’ve been stained. 

“We could just fly away if we wanted to.” Dargon said.

“But do you want to?” Merry asked.

“You promised us protection, and we can’t say no to that.” Dargon said. “I just hope you’re right when you said the DIF can’t do anything to us.”

“That’s the DIF though. What about the Marmellata family?” Gordon asked.

“Yeah that’s right.” Dargon remembered. “What about it, Agent May? Are we safe from the Marmellata family?”

“To be honest, ah was hopin’ they wouldn’t ask.” Fritter said.

“I was about to make up something until you said that. Thanks a lot, Agent Fritter.” Merry complained.

“You want to lie to them?” Fritter asked.

“For their own good, sure!” Merry said.

“Wow and we were about to trust you.” Dargon shook his head. “How do we know if we can trust any of you?”

“Hey! Ah’m the one that wanted us to tell the truth!” Fritter reminded them.

“How do we know you’re telling the truth, huh?” Dargon asked her. “What if you’re a double-agent in this scenario?”

“How does that make any sense? That’s the real question!” Fritter asked. To get them both to pipe down, I picked up a stick and threw it in the long grass seeing if we can get whatever’s back there to show itself. Afterwards, a butterfly flies out.

“There.” I said.

“That was just a butterfly. How can a butterfly make all that rumble?” Top Notch asked. Just then, few squirrels pop out of the bushes and start chase eachother up a tree nearby.

“Sandy?” Fritter asked.

“So yeah, it was just a couple of squirrels and a butterfly.” I said.

“And a mobster.” A Marmellata mobster said as he pops out of the bushes aiming his weapon at us.

“Of course.” Cheese Notch facehooved himself.

“Get them boys!” the Marmellata yelled out. We all took out our weapons as well as we expected to get surrounded by mobsters. As a mobster popped up behind us and roared, we aimed our weapons at him; however, as it turns out, it wasn’t a roar but a scream. The mobster was getting tazed as he collapses on the ground.

“Wait… what just happened?” Merry asked.

“Agent May? Agent Fritter? Agent Jam?” an FDA agent asked as he pops out from behind the grass. All around us, the mobsters were getting captured by even more FDA agents. We felt relieved.

“Oh good! FDA agents from the U.H. Paper!” I said excitedly.

“It’s been a while since we last seen your friendly faces.” Merry said.

“We got your message, Agent May, and we came as quickly as we could.” The agent said.

“Well done, agent!” Merry said.

“Wait what are you talking about, Merry? What message?” I asked.

“Remember back at the Dragonite HQ when I was spraying the wall?” Merry asked.

“The one you said it was bug spray?” I asked.

“Yeah it wasn’t actually spray.” Merry admitted.

“I figured that. What was it then?” I asked.

“Think about it. I’m trying to give a message to FDA agents. I sprayed a message you cannot see.” Merry informed me.

“Unless I wore the special glasses.” I remembered. “Right, I remember those messages.”

“Bingo!” Merry said.

“Yes, you called?” an agent asked.

“So what did the message say?” I asked.

“We need milk and eggs from the store.” Merry teased.

“C’mon be serious.” I complained.

“Alright the message said we’re going to be at this park here. I put it there just in case we get into trouble, which we did.” Merry said.

“It’s a good thing we came when we did.” Bingo said. “Looks like you had trouble with our suspects at large.”

“We need to find Mr. Marmellata.” I said. “We’d be saving a great deal by capturing him.”

“Hang on, Jer, first thing’s first.” Fritter reminded me. “We gotta get these fellas somewhere safe.”

“And then we’re done, right?” Dargon asked.

“Well we do need somewhere safe to stay for the night.” Fritter said.

“And then we’re done, right?” Dargon asked.

“Nooo, and then we’re goin’ to help you find Scales.” Fritter reminded him.

“You’re helping us so much, you’re making us feel guilty.” Gordon said.

“Hey, no need, it’s our job.” Fritter said.

“Well said, Agent Fritter.” Merry nodded.

“Well if it’s your job, we can’t take you away from that.” Dargon said. “Does your job really mean this much to you?”

“It means more to me than anything!” I said.

“Really, Jer? It does?” Fritter asked.

“Well… yeah! You know how much good we’re doing?” I explained. “We’re making lives better for everypony around us!”

“Not everypony, sugarcube.” Fritter said.

“What do ya mean, love?” I asked.

“Mah family means more to me than anything.” Fritter said. “Ah’d sell out mah job in a heartbeat if it means their safety.”

“Same here.” Merry said. “My twin sister Sunny Rays, she means more to me than this job. My friends, those that have been there for me like you and Fritter… and Flare… this job, I mean… it means nothing unless you know what you’re fighting for!”

“We’re fighting for Equestria, aren’t we?” I asked. “We’re fighting for ponies’ safety?”

“Not just for Equestria, Agent Jam.” Merry said.

“Then for what else?” I asked.

“If you don’t know, we ain’t tellin’ ya.” Fritter said. “This is somethin’ you have to find out for your own.”

“Now then… shall we take these dragons somewhere safe before we get spotted?” Merry suggested.

“That sounds like a good idea.” Dargon agreed.

“We have a hideout perfect for operations like this, over on this very street.” Bingo said.

So we all left the park. Most of the agents left with the Marmellata mobsters and we all headed to this FDA-controlled boarding house on Fashion Drive so we can hide out for the night. Luckily, the boarding house wasn’t so far from the park, and it was the middle of the night so the Dragonites didn’t get spotted with us. When we got in, we settled down.

“Well… this is a nice place.” Cheese Noodles commented. “It’s much nicer than our old hideout. Still a little dusty though, but you know, it’ll do.”

“I’m going to go watch TV.” Gordon said as he walks over to the living room.

“Ah, you read my mind, Gordon!” Cheese Noodles agreed.

“I’ll go to the kitchen and find us some food.” Top Notch offered. “Dargon you in?”

“Nah. I need to be alone for a bit.” Dargon said as he walks upstairs.

“Well we better get rest up.” Fritter said. “First thing tomorrow we need to locate where Mr. Marmellata is being held. We can capture him, and we can rescue Scales in the process.”

“Yeah if he’s with him that is.” Merry informed her.

“Good point.” Fritter agreed. “It wouldn’t be likely that they’d keep a hostage with the don unless the hostage was being interrogated.”

“Which he probably is.” I added.

“Ah’m goin’ to go look up some information on the Marmellata family.” Fritter offered. “See if we can get some advantage over them. Maybe see where they hide out and what their techniques might be. But in the meantime, ah got somethin’ for you two to do.”

“What do you need us to do, Agent Fritter?” Merry asked.

“Well, Agent May, I’m so very glad you asked!” Fritter said as she gives her a device of some sort. “Wherever we’re goin’ to, they must have a pretty tight security system. This is yer chance to practice. Get used to the device. Ah connected it to the wi-fi next door. Luckily, they’re on vacation right now, so they won’t miss it. Plug the device into the cable cord, and you should be able to get in through.”

“How does this device work?” Merry asked.

“It’s kinda like a maze.” Fritter explained. “Once you start it, the little worm thing is going to be moving around, and you have to guide it through by pressing those arrow buttons. Don’t let it touch the walls or you’ll have to start over.”

“That’s it?” Merry asked.

“That’s it for here.” Fritter said. “If by any chance you mess up while on the mission, the alarm might go off, if the place we’re goin’ to has tight security, which ah’m pretty sure is. Get the little worm onto the dot at the end of the maze and you’re in! But Merry, ah must let you know that dependin’ on how strong the security system is will depend on how difficult the maze would be.”

“So it’s like a video game.” Merry said.

“It’s a video game where there are actual consequences.” Fritter said. “Ah mean, not this time. This time it’s all practice and fun, but when we get on the mission, it’s goin’ to be more than that.”

“Maybe I should practice with it too just in case.” I suggested.

“Nah. Ah got somethin’ else for you, Agent Jam.” Fritter said as she takes out a small stick device with a glass orb on top containing a spinning rainbow.

“Hey isn’t that the FDA’s forgetting device?” I asked.

“Uh huh. Ah made some upgrades to it.” Fritter said. “It works a lot better but it’s more complicated to work. You can take control of some mobsters, maybe turn them against eachother or somethin’, or make them your temporary friends. Dependin’ how long you use it on a pony will depend on how long and how effective it would be. Don’t use it for too long or you may damage their brains.”

“So who should I practice this on?” I asked as I took the device. “Will this still have consequences if I practiced here?”

“Well, dragon brains are small, but they are as strong as platinum.” Fritter said.

“WE HEARD THAT!” Gordon yelled from the other room.

“Perhaps you can practice on Gordon or Dargon.” Fritter suggested.

“Perhaps I may.” I said.

“Yes? You called for me?” Merry teased.

“So you two know what to do?” Fritter asked. “We have to be prepared for the incomin’ mission. Ah’ll be upstairs with mah stuff if you need me. Hopefully you don’t because ah need concentration.”

“Going to look up some pictures of kittens?” I asked mischievously.

Fritter started to chuckle. “Yeah, good one, Jer… heeeh. Yes.” She admitted as she then walked upstairs.

“Well I’ll get started on the hacking.” Merry said as she walks into the living room. Gordon, Cheese Noodles, and Top Notch were watching the news on TV.

“And so it was said that the incident in Meadow Songs Park was merely gang warfare.” The news pony said. “In other news: Cheese Sandwich’s Cheese Supreme Cannonball Surprise has been stolen. Cheese himself assumed that a bunch of wacky tuxedo looking weirdos have stolen it from him as he was entertaining the griffons in Griffonstone.” Just then, the TV starts to snow.

“HEEEEEY!” the trio complained.

“We were watching that!” Gordon complained.

“Sorry boys.” Merry said as she unplugged the TV cable. “I need to practice hacking. We’ll be getting wi-fi in a moment. Perhaps you can watch whatever you want to watch on your phones or something.”

“I don’t need wi-fi, I got 9G.” Top Notch said.

“Is it going to be password protected wi-fi?” Cheese Noodles asked.

“Yeah.” Merry said.

“Ok good. Because for some reason my electronics won’t connect me to any wi-fis that have no passwords.” Cheese Noodles said.

“Probably because you go crazy with the antivirus softwares.” Top Notch assumed. “Avast blocks any unprotected wi-fis.”

“Of course. That explains a lot!” Cheese said as he bops himself in the head.

Before I went to the living room to ask Gordon to help me out, my cell phone began to ring. It was an unknown caller, but I answered anyway. “Oi!” I said.

“Jerry…” a mysterious voice said.

“Who is this?” I asked.

“I’m waiting for you, Jerry.” the voice said.

“Robotic voice? Is this Agent S or Mr. Marmellata?” I asked.

“I need you Jerry. We miss you.” The voice said.

“Mr. Marmellata?” I asked.

“Yes?” he asked.

“What do you want with me!?” I yelled.

“Jerry who are you talking to?!” Merry yelled from the other room.

“Uhh, my sister!” I lied. I then said quietly on the phone. “Listen, I don’t know who you really are, or what you want from me, but I’m going to find out sooner or later.”

“You will. Believe me, you will.” Mr. Marmellata said as he hangs up.

“Hello? Mr. Marmellata? Hello? You could’ve at least said ‘good bye’.” I complained. I didn’t know why he called me, and this doesn’t get me anywhere closer to finding out what he wants from me. Maybe it was best not to answer that call. Mama always said not to talk to strangers. HA! That was a lie. My criminal’s guide actually taught me that one!

So for the next few hours, I was practicing with Gordon’s memory and Merry was hacking for so long that she became obsessed over it. I hope it doesn’t become too much of an obsession for her. Fritter also hopes that she doesn’t beat her high score. Meanwhile, back with Orange and Cesaer, they were walked in to some interrogating room escorted by the mobster back at the prison cell.

“Take a seat.” The mobster ordered them. “Our associate will be with you a minute.”

“Your associate?” Orange asked.

“Take a seat!” the mobster ordered them again.

“Can we at least have a drink or something?” Cesaer asked. But it was too late; the mobster left and shuts the door behind him. “I’ll take that as a ‘if we’re good’.” The duo takes a seat in front of the empty table.

“So… what do you think this dude wants from us?” Orange asked.

“No idea.” Cesaer said. “I thought we were going to be hostages?”

“Perhaps we still are.” Orange assumed. “I mean, with hostages separated it would be less of a chance for Jer to be able to save us all so these wacko mobsters can get what they want from him.”

“Knowing J, he’ll probably go after his hemana and chica jefe over us.” Cesaer assumed.

“His what?” Orange asked.

“Jelly and Elusive.” Cesaer said.

“That doesn’t answer my question.” Orange said.

“You should’ve paid more attention in Espanol class then, holms.” Cesaer advised him.

“What class?” Orange asked.

“Wait hold that thought.” Cesaer stopped him as a projector screen comes down in front of them on the wall. The projector turns on and then a shadowy figure appears.

“Greetings!” the pony who is either Agent S or Mr. Marmellata said. “You must be Orange Swirl and Cesaer Salad! It is so nice to meet you at last!”

“I knew living in LP would make us famous, dawg!” Orange said excitedly as he shook Cesaer.

“Who are you?” Cesaer asked the pony. “Why can’t we see your face, and what’s with that robotic voice?”

“My identity is a secret for purposes that are none of your business.” The pony said. “What I can tell you, however is that I am Agent S, director of the DIF.”

“The DIF? Isn’t that where Jerry works?” Orange asked.

“No I think it was… I dunno, there was an F in there.” Cesaer said. “F… FID?”

“FDA actually.” Agent S reminded them.

“Ah right! That’s the one! Good lookin’ out, homie!” Orange said to him.

“It’s funny that you mention, Agent Jerry Jam actually.” Agent S said.

“Yeah it sure is funny.” Orange said. “Ha, ha, and ha. His name is a big joke, just like him.”

“I agree.” Agent S said. “Which is why there are still some things you have yet to know about him that you don’t know.”

“He’s a liar and a crook. I don’t care about anything else about him, S.” Cesaer said.

“Other than he has a hot sister!” Orange added as he fans himself with his hoof. “Woo-wooo!”

“Right, but there are still some things you have yet to know about him.” Agent S said.

“Now hang on a minute, dawg.” Orange stopped him. “All you feds are the same. How do we know if you’re telling the truth? You’re all bad!”

“I know I am not much.” Agent S said. “I am not a very openly pony, and I admit that. I at least don’t lie about my life. You know why?”

“No.” Cesaer said.

“Because nopony knows about my life, and therefore, I am not lying to them.” Agent S said.

“That is true.” Cesaer nodded. “I guess you’re not one to lie to your amigos.”

“I don’t have amigos, amigo.” Agent S said. “Friends always bring me down. I don’t need them. I have wealth, knowledge, and power. I have everything I need to survive. But don’t worry about me. I am not that interesting.”

“Fo’ sure.” Orange agreed.

“Who you are interested in though is Jerry Jam.” Agent S said.

“Jerry Jam is dead, homie!” Orange said angrily. “That pony is just another brainwashed fed who lost his ways. Prison changed him, dawg!”

“What if I told you prison didn’t change him and he was like this a lot longer than you think?” Agent S asked.

“Back in the day he was our main pony! Our partner in crime!” Cesaer said. “Before we were caught, he was our boy!”

“Was he now?” Agent S asked. “What if I told you that your partner in crime turned himself in?”

“I would say I ain’t surprised.” Orange said.

“Did he?” Cesaer asked.

“Why don’t you see for yourself?” Agent S suggested. “Let me play you back a recording from a camera that so happened to be in Jerry’s limo 16 years ago.”

On the projector, the old film numbers counted down and after 2, the recording of my conversation with my limo driver from 16 years ago played back for my friends to see.

“Are you sure you want to do this, kid?” James asked.

“Sorry, James Bon-Bon, but I have to do this. My conscious will be cleared, and when I get out, I’m going to make a difference in Equestria.” I said.

“What about Orange Swirl, Cesaer Salad, and General Lee?” James asked.

“They won’t agree to turn themselves in. I know them.” I said.

“So you’re just going to let them roam free?” James asked.

“No. I’ll report their locations to the cops.” I said. Orange and Cesaer then gasped.

“Wouldn’t you be ratting them out?” James asked.

“I know it may hurt my friendship towards them, but I want to help them. Together we can make a difference in Equestria once we get released. Friendship is about working together, and that’s how we’re going to survive prison.” I explained.

“You should tell the cops otherwise though.” James suggested. “Tell your friends you were all caught, but you were just caught first.” The recording then stopped, and Agent S appeared on the screen again.

“Surprised?” Agent S asked.

“No!” Orange said. “I’m shocked! I mean I figured he’d do something like this, but what I didn’t know is that he actually had the guts to say it out loud without even looking guilty!”

“That’s just low, holms! Very low!” Cesaer said angrily. “What I really don’t get is that why would you show us this, S?! You here to torture us or something?!”

“No.” Agent S said. “I’m going to let you go.”

Cesaer and Orange looked at eachother in confusion. Cesaer then asked, “You’re kidding, right?”

“I’m not kidding.” Agent S said. “I want to set you free.”

“What’s the catch?” Orange asked.

“There is no catch.” Agent S said. “There was some sort of mistake here. It was wrong for those Marmellata mobsters to capture you. It was just Jelly and Elusive we wanted.”

“Really?” Orange asked.

“Yeah.” Agent S said. “It was nothing personal. They explained it to me already. They just captured you because they thought you were a part of Elusive’s debts.”

“Whoa we have nothing to do with that strange pony, holms!” Cesaer said.

“I figured.” Agent S said. “No need to have hostages that Jerry isn’t even going to even try to rescue. We’re looking for his loved ones, not his former crew. But please, don’t take it too personally. We in the DIF and the Marmellata family would like to offer our sincere apologies for the misunderstanding. Some of the crew is going to pick you up and escort you back down to Manehattan, from there, you can find you way home, or take care of any business that might be in the way.”

“What kind of business do we have down there?” Cesaer asked.

“Well you may not be that interested, but Jerry himself is down in Manehattan right now with two of his partners from the agency, and is about to take down one of my clients.” Agent S said.

“Hmm…” Orange thought.

“What are you thinking about, O?” Cesaer asked.

“I know it didn’t think about it clearly enough, but what if we helped this pony out?” Orange suggested.

“Why?” Cesaer asked.

“Think about it! Jerry is down in Manehattan right now about to take out one of his trusted clients.” Orange said.

“He didn’t say ‘trusted’ though.” Cesaer corrected him.

“Well… why don’t we try to ruin him like he ruined us?” Orange suggested. “I mean… FORGET General Lee! He may have abandoned us during his escape from prison, but if it weren’t for Jerry, we wouldn’t even BE in prison!”

“That is so true.” Cesaer nodded.

“Exactly! We can get our revenge on Jerry!” Orange explained. “We can fail his mission. If this mission is so important, they may kick him out of the agency! We can make his life miserable! Not only that, Agent S here can pay us to take him out!”

“Are you kidding? I’ll pay DOUBLE!” Agent S offered. “Jerry has been a threat to my organization for too long. He won’t expect his too best friends to turn on him!”

Cesaer and Orange both nodded at eachother mischievously and chuckled. They both then looked back at Agent S and Cesaer said, “Alright, S, you got yourself a deal!”

“Excellent! He won’t know what hit him!” Agent S said. “Just to let you know, he won’t be alone. He’s got two partners from the agency helping him. They go by the names of Merry May and Apple Fritter.”

“Heh!” Orange chuckled. “Can you tell us a bit about their weaknesses, homie?”

Back at the boarding house, I was playing a card trick with Gordon. It’s like a magic trick but I’m messing with his memory so it’s a bit like cheating.

“So did you remember which card you picked?” I asked Gordon.

“Why does my head hurt so much?!” Gordon complained. “And what’s that thing you’re holding? What am I?!”

“I… uhhh.. I think we should take a little break.” I offered.

“Were we doing something, lad?” Gordon asked.

“Agent May, this wi-fi is useless!” Top Notch complained as he was playing with his phone.

“Yeah, why do any of these ponies STILL have DSL?” Cheese complained.

“Maybe I should give you back the TV.” Merry offered.

“Yeah maybe you should.” Cheese agreed. So Merry disconnected the hacker and connected the TV cable back in so the others can watch TV in peace. As Merry walked out of the room, Gordon walked in with a bag of ice on his head.

“What’s that thing with the moving pictures?” Gordon asked.

Merry walked over to the kitchen where she saw me raiding the fridge for some food. “Agent Jam.” She said.

“Agent May.” I said.

“Raiding the fridge for something good?” she asked.

“You know me, love. I’m all about raids and heists.” I teased. “It’s too bad all that have in here is frozen TV dinners and canned foods.”

“Not many ponies come here often, so they try to put in food that is not very fresh.” Merry said.

“I figured.” I said as I took out a broccoli with cheese sauce TV dinner from the freezer. “Well… this will do.” I removed the tray from the box.

“Speaking of heists, have any of you ever failed any heists?” Merry asked.

“Well, only one.” I said as I took out a knife and jabbed holes on the plastic of the TV dinner tray. “This one heist took place in a Pawn Shop. It was going so well until Cesaer got ID’d by the manager, and from that day forward he learned not to rob ponies he knew. In fact we all learned that lesson. We had no clue it was a thing. We thought the masks hid our identities for good.”

“Sometimes you gotta make mistakes so you can learn from them.” Merry said.

“Probably.” I said as I placed the TV dinner into the microwave and turned it on.

“Before you turned yourself in, what place were you going to rob next?” Merry asked.

“I try not to think about it.” I said. “Why are you so interested all the sudden?”

“Just making conversation.” Merry said. “Hey it’s not like I’m here to arrest you again! You already did your time. And besides, even if you were going to rob again, your secret is safe with me.”

“How do I know my secret is safe with you?” I asked.

Merry placed her hoof on my shoulder and said, “Because you’re my friend, Jer. I mean, I can keep a secret.”

“Can you?” I asked.

“Uhh, are you stupid or something, dude?” Merry asked as she gave me a look. “I’m part of a secret agency. I wouldn’t be here now if I couldn’t handle a secret!”

“Heh.” I chuckled. “I suppose that’s true.”

“C’mon, Jer, don’t stand there and talk to me. Sit!” Merry suggested. So we took a seat at the table as I waited for my food to get ready. It needed to be defrosted for four minutes anyway so it didn’t really matter. I’d have to take it out, stir it, and then put it back in for 1 in a half minute, and then wait 2 minutes for it to cool down, which didn’t make much sense to me. Why wait longer for it to cool down than the time it cooks? At least for the second time.

“But you know, Orange, Cesaer, Lee, and I had dreams when we were younger though.” I said.

“Oh yeah?” Merry asked.

“Yeah. We had dreams of one big heist.” I said. “By any chance we’d have to split up and retire heists because the cops were after us, we’d do one last heist – the heist to end all heists. One big one! One worth tens of millions of bits!”

“Wow!” Merry said shockingly.

“Wow indeed.” I said. “Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to find anything like that yet. Until then, however, when I moved to Los Pegasus…” (Yeah, it’s called LOS Pegasus again. Check out the updated Equestria map.) “…as I was getting settled in at the FDA HQ, I saw the super bank, the Trustworthy Depository from across the street. It made me wonder if the crew were still together, we’d use that as our last heist.”

“WHOOOA! Jerry! Let’s not get carried away here!” Merry stopped me. “I mean I’m glad you dream big, but the Trustworthy Depository? That bank is impossible to raid, and I mean IMPOSSIBLE!”

“Yeah I figured that.” I said. “Which is why I’m thinking of a new place. I’m not sure where though. Perhaps… we could’ve raided the museum in Prance.”

“That might be easier, but still, you’re not doing any more heists are you?” Merry asked.

“Nooooo!” I said. “No way! You know how many lives we ruined in the process? I felt so bad! I mean, I’m actually glad my conscious stopped me from doing any more heists! Not only did I save a bunch more ponies’ lives, I also stopped myself from being part of Agent S’s plan of creating a DIF agent outta me.”

“Or worse.” Merry added.

“What could be worse?” I asked.

“Oh I dunno, I was adding dramatic affect.” She admitted.

“Right.” I nodded. “Say… you’ve been asking so many questions about me and my secrets, why don’t you tell me your secrets?”

“Alright. I have nothing to hide. Fire away!” Merry dared me.

“Well where do I start?” I asked. “Why don’t you tell me about Flare?”

Merry got a little quiet, and she started to blush. “Umm…”

“What?” I asked.

“Heh… maybe another time.” She said as she started to sweat.

“Are you ok, Merry?” I asked.

“I’m fine!” she said nervously.

“You don’t sound like it.” I said.

“I SAID I’M FINE!” she yelled.

“Whoa! Whoa! Ok! Ok!” I said defensively. “I see this is a very sensitive subject, but I told you my darkest secrets. I don’t tell anypony these other than my sister! I tell her everything. She’s like my personal journal. She can also take a secret. She’d make a good FDA agent too!”

“I agree.” Merry said. “Maybe you should ask her.”

“I might. If she forgives me that is.” I said.

“I’m sorry, Jer, I didn’t mean to snap at ya.” She said.

“It’s ok.” I said.

“I mean,” Merry continued, “this is just…  a little too much to explain for one-“

“I don’t need a lecture, Merry. I understand.” I interrupted.

“Ok.” She nodded.

“Well if you can’t tell me your secret about Flare, how about you tell me what inspired you to join the FDA?” I asked.

“Oh THAT I can tell you.” Merry smiled. “It all started at my childhood.”

“Hey, just like me!” I said excitedly.

“Thank you for interrupting, Jer. I forgot what I was going to say next.” Merry said sarcastically.

“Oh I’m sorry! I won’t speak anymore.” I promised.

“It’s ok.” Merry said. “Alright now I remember where I left off. So yeah in my childhood, I was living up in Cloudsdale at Junior Speedsters Flight Camp. It was the most fun I had in ages! I really learned how to fly very well during my time there. But… there were things… difficult for other ponies. There was this one Pegasus, a Pegasus by the name of Fluttershy. She was getting picked on a lot at the flight camp. Bullies kept picking on her for her lack of ability to fly. She was also very shy and not very open.”

“Isn’t that the same thing?” I asked.

“INTERUPTING AGAIN!” Merry yelled. “So after seeing her get beat up a lot, getting laughed at, getting her feathers ripped off, nopony did a thing to defend her! All except one.”

“You?” I asked.

“Another pony by the name of Rainbow Dash.” Merry said.

“Hey I met her once!” I said. “She was going to play as Daring Do in a movie-“

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you wanted to tell your story, Jer. I thought you wanted to know a little more about me?” Merry asked sarcastically. “Go ahead, tell your story about Rainbow Dash being Daring Do.”

“Ok you don’t have to be that way, love. I can’t help it all the time.” I said defensively.

“Are you going let me finish?” Merry asked.

“Yes.” I nodded.

“Ok good.” Merry said as she continued. “I wanted to fill in and be a good pony, but… all the ponies that bullied Fluttershy liked me. I felt… popular.”

“You did?” I asked.

“Yeah.” Merry said. “With my leadership skills and the way I say ‘that’s rad’, it seemed attractive to them.”

“I never heard you say ‘that’s rad’ before.” I admitted.

“I didn’t want you to like me because I was cool.” Merry said. “Being popular blinded me of what I really wanted. I just… just stood there… watched my friends bully poor Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. I mean Rainbow can take care of herself, but…” She started to tear up. “I could’ve defended her. I could’ve been a good pony. I would’ve felt like a hero. Rainbow Dash hated me for it, and she was the coolest flyer I ever seen. I wanted her to like me, but…” She sniffles and rubs her eyes. “I didn’t have the guts to just say I want to be a good pony. I would’ve thought I’d be rejected by those who respected me. I couldn’t take it. When I graduated I moved to Ponyville to get away from those ponies.”

“Did you?” I asked.

“No.” Merry said. “I had a job offer. I was hired to be a supervisor at the Cloudsdale Weather Factory. Little did I know those bullies were going to be my co-workers. They were happy to see me, and I just pretended to be happy to see them. I really didn’t want to be friends with them anymore, but I… I…” Merry started to sob a bit. I scorched my chair over next to Merry and put my arm around her.

“Hey, shhhh… shhhh….” I shushed her. “It’s ok.”

“Why am I such a bad pony, Jer?” she asked.

“You’re not. You’re not.” I said. “You’re a very good pony, love. You’re very sweet and inspirational. You had every right to be a part to be a part of the FDA. Like me, you made mistakes, and wanted to repay those mistakes by giving Equestria some good. You are on the right track, Merry May. You’re on the right track.”

“Well my popularity went down the drain when I moved to Ponyville. Nopony knew I existed.” Merry said. “I was just a part of the background, and it didn’t feel right. Nopony really cared about me.”

“I care about you.” I said.

“I know you do.” Merry smiled at me. “I’m glad I have friends like you and Apple Fritter.”

“I feel the same way.” I agreed.

“You know… it was because of Apple Fritter I joined the FDA.” Merry said.

“Really now?” I asked.

“Mmhmm.” Merry nodded. “I met her in Ponyville. She was visiting her family. She saw me trying to apologize to Rainbow Dash about what I did in the past, of not defending Fluttershy. I was really afraid she wouldn’t accept my apology. But… as luck would have it… she did. Apple Fritter saw the whole thing. We talked… we talked as how we’re talking now. We told eachother everything, and then she gave me a test, like the test I gave you. I joined the FDA in efforts to right the wrongs I made.”

“So… Apple Fritter was to you… how you were to me. Am I correct?” I asked.

“You sure are.” Merry nodded. “Fritter has been a great mentor to me, just like how I was a great mentor to you!”

“But Fritter was mine as well.” I said.

Merry giggled. “That’s true!”

“How did she join the agency?” I asked.

Merry then leaned on me and said, “I don’t think it’s right if I told you her secrets. You should ask her yourself.”

“Perhaps I will.” I said and then we both chuckled.

Upstairs, Fritter was searching up some data on the Marmellatas on her computer that is connected to the FDA database. So far, she wasn’t able to find any info on the mysterious Mr. Marmellata. That is, until she thought of something. “Wait a minute…” Fritter said to herself. She then starts typing onto the computer. She turns on a program in which I do not want to mention right now because spoilers, and she types down ‘Marmellata’ on whatever program she was on. “Wait a minute… wait a minute… no! No that’s not right!” Fritter started to freak out. “No! It can’t be! Jerry…. no! Do I tell him this? I’m not sure how he’s going to react. It may jeopardize the whole mission! Oh… but if he finds out… can he take it?” 

Just then, Fritter heard carriage doors shut from outside. Fritter rolls the office chair she was sitting in over to the window and she looks out. She then gasps as a bunch of carriages outside containing Marmellata mobsters started flooding the street outside. “Shoot!” Fritter said surprisingly. “How did they find us?! Ugh! Nevermind that! Ah gotta warn the others!” Fritter runs out of the room and knocks on the bathroom door. “Dargon! Dargon! The gig’s up! They found us!”

“Whoa! Wha-what?!” Dargon yelled from the bathroom. “Sorry, I fell asleep in the tub.” 

Fritter then runs downstairs to the living room and yells, “The gig’s up, guys! We were found!”

“Wait hang on, I wanna see if Penguins win the championship.” Top Notch said.

“NOW, guys!” Fritter yelled. She then runs into the kitchen and yells, “Merry! Jerry! We need to- wait… whoa!” To her surprise she catches Merry and I making out. When we heard her voice, we immediately stopped and we were startled.

“Oh… umm… hey, Fritter. What’s… what’s up?” Merry asked as we both blushed in embarrassment.

“Merry… you dawg!” Fritter smiled.

“What?” Merry asked.

“You and Jerry? Awww, you two are perfect for eachother!” Fritter said.

“We have no idea what you’re talking about, love.” I said.

“C’mon, these eyes don’t miss anythin’! Even if we do wear sunglasses indoors in the middle of the night. Ah saw you two kissin’!” Fritter said to us mischievously.

“NO YOU DIDN’T!” Merry and I both said at the same time. “Shush! No you shush! Supercalifragilisticexpiala- pappy pony picked a pluck of prickly pluff- BOOM! Wah wah wah wah wah waaaaaah.”

“HA! You two ARE made for eachother!” Fritter teased.

We were both feeling a bit embarrassed and I said, “We were just having a moment, Agent Fritter. It meant nothing.”

“Whaaaaa?” Merry asked surprisingly.

“Shhh.” I whispered to Merry. “It was beautiful, just follow my lead.”

“Ok.” She whispered.

“You think I don’t hear y’all?” Merry laughed. “Ah don’t just have great eyes, ah got great ears too.”

“C-cut to the chase, Fritter. What’s the emergency?” I asked.

“Oh right that!” Fritter chuckled. “Ooooh… ah should be freakin’ out now, but this is just too adorable! Also, the Marmellatas found us.”

“They WHAT?!” Merry and I both yelled.

Fritter started to laugh again. “Y’all are killin’ me! What ah’m seein’ is more adorable than a basket full of kittens!”

“Ok even I disagree on that.” I said. “Nothing is more adorable than kittens.”

“I second that.” Merry agreed.

“Ah can already hear the weddin’ bells.” Fritter teased.

“Fritter, SHUT UP!” Merry embarrassingly pushed her. “It’s nothin’! Ah can’t love remember?”

“Really? You can’t?” I asked. “Why?”

“Oh my Faust! What’s with all the questions?!” Merry yelled. “Can we stop with this and just worry about the mobsters outside?!”

“Right, right.” Fritter said as she took some deep breaths. “Ok… ah’m good now. Ah’m goin’ upstairs to pack up mah stuff. There’s important data in them.”

“Your vacation pictures aren’t data.” Merry informed her.

“No the information ah have on the Marmellatas.” Fritter said. “You two make sure they don’t get inside. Ah have a plan to help us escape. Or… you can just make-out. Whichever works.” Merry then grabs the microwave and throws it at Fritter, but luckily misses. “OK, OK! Ah’m goin’! Ah’m goin’!” Fritter then runs off.

“Ugh! One of the things I don’t like about her is that she makes a big deal out of things!” Merry complained.

“My TV dinner was still in there.” I informed her.

“Oh relax, it’s almost breakfast time.” Merry informed me. 

So we ran to the entrance where we saw Gordon and Top Notch blocking the entrance with some furniture, and Cheese Noodles was closing the shutters to the windows, but as he was closing the shutters he saw the mobsters running over to the apartment next to door. “Wait a minute. The mobsters are running to the apartments next to door us.” Cheese pointed out.

“Really now?” Merry asked as she peeked through. “Huh… that’s weird. But why the apartment next to us?”

“AGENT JAM! WE KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE!” one of the mobsters yelled. “WE FOLLOWED YOUR PHONE SIGNAL!”

“Uhh, Jer?” Merry asked in a disappointed tone. “Who were you really talking to on the phone before?”

“My sister.” I lied.

“Jeez louise! Your friends are right! You are a big fat liar!” Merry complained.

“Ok it was Mr. Marmellata!” I admitted. “He called me just to say he wants me.”

“What?” Top Notch asked.

“No, not in that way I’m sure.” I said. “I mean I already have a marefriend currently.”

“And you just lied to her.” Merry complained.

“Really? Who is she?” Gordon asked.

“So yeah, he must’ve called to track my phone signal.” I said. “I know it was foolish. It said ‘unknown caller’.”

“Jerry, you should know by now you shouldn’t answer your phone to complete strangers!” Merry informed me.

“I know, I know! But this felt important!” I said. “I’m sorry! But… if they followed my phone, how did they track it to the apartments next to us?”

“Of course! My hacking!” Merry said. “When we stole the wi-fi signals at the apartments next door to us, it must’ve transferred the signal from your phone to the next door apartments.”

“Huh… I guess it pays to be a criminal sometimes.” Top Notch said. 

“WORST… ADVICE… EVER!” I said.

Just then, Fritter runs downstairs with the her electronics in her briefcase. “Alright ah got mah stuff. Where’s Dargon?”

“Did you tell him we’re leaving?” Merry asked.

“Ah did, and he responded.” Fritter said.

Just then, Dargon runs downstairs. “Sorry it took me so long. I needed to finishing washing up.”

“You’ve been up there for five hours.” Fritter said.

“What else is new?” Dargon asked sarcastically. “Now c’mon, you got a plan, Agent Fritter?”

“It’s kind of a long shot, but if Jerry practiced well enough with that forgetting device we can just walk right through.” Fritter suggested.

“Or we can just go the back door.” Top Notch suggested as he opens the back door.

“That works too.” Fritter nodded. “But what about the Marmellatas?”

“They’re focused on next door right now.” Merry said.

“Ok… that gives me a lot of questions, but we don’t have time for that right now. Let’s just get movin’.” Fritter suggested. So we all ran out the back door and escaped the Marmellatas before they even noticed we were gone. It took them a while to find out we weren’t at the apartments next door. By the time they reached our boarding house, we were already long gone.

We walked down the street to a safe distance, and we stopped by an alley to hide and discuss our next plan. “Ok… we’re safe here, for now.” Fritter said.

“No.” Dargon said.

“No?” Fritter asked. “What do you mean no?”

“We’re done.” Dargon said.

“But we didn’t say anything you had to do.” I reminded him.

“I know, but we’re finished, done.” Dargon said. “You agents are nothing but trouble, leading trouble our way.”

“But we evaded the trouble.” Merry reminded them.

“They could’ve caught us!” Dargon said.

“But they didn’t!” Merry said.

“They WOULD’VE!” Dargon yelled. “It’s over! We don’t want your help anymore! We’ll take care of ourselves!”

“You sure about that?” I asked.

“Whoa!” a small brown filly with pink hair cried out. “Are those dragons?! Actual full-grown dragons?! I thought for sure there was only one dragon, living in Ponyville?” She said as she blew on her hair.

“Babs? What are you doin’ here, little one?” Fritter asked.

“Apple Fritter? What the heck is goin’ on here?” Babs asked.

“Wait you two know eachother?” I asked.

“Yeah, we’re sorta related.” Fritter said.

“Sorta?” I asked.

“We share the same cousins in Ponyville, but we ourselves are not cousins really. More like cousin in-laws, ah assume. Ah ain’t 100% sure.” Fritter explained.

“FDA?” Babs asked as she observed her badge. “Fritter? You’re part of the ponies in black?”

“Sure, you can say that.” Fritter said.

“Is this all top secret?” Babs asked.

“Obviously.” Fritter said.

“And dragons live in secret around Equestria?” Babs asked.

“Some… yeah.” Fritter nodded.

“Ah.” Babs nodded back.

“You want me to erase her memory, Agent Fritter?” I asked as I took out the forgetting device and aimed it towards her face.

“NO!” Fritter yelled as she lowers my arm. “Babs here can keep a secret. Don’t worry. She’s mah family… kinda, and ah trust her.”

“I swear I won’t say a thing. It’s just me here.” Babs promised.

“Why though? Why are you out here by yerself, sugarcube?” Fritter asked.

“Well… mah sister hasn’t come home.” Babs said as she blows on her hair. “Ah went out lookin’ for her. Ah have the feelin’ she’s with her secret club or somethin’.”

“Sunflower has a secret club?” Fritter asked.

“Yeah.” Babs said.

“What kind?” Fritter asked.

“I already told you too much. It’s a secret.” Babs said.

“Fair enough.” Fritter nodded. “You should really go home, Babs.”

“Maybe.” Babs nodded. “I mean… at least I did something Sunflower has never done.”

“And what is that?” Fritter asked.

“I saw dragons!” Babs said excitedly.

“We live to please!” Gordon said.

“No we don’t! Don’t lie, Gordon!” Dargon instructed him.

“Shh! She’s just a filly!” Gordon whispered.

“Don’t we all treat our kids like that? That’s what makes us mean.” Dargon whispered.

“Ponies don’t. They actually respect their kids.” Gordon whispered.

“Wow, we are SO different.” Dargon whispered back.

“Yes we are because you’re whispering too loud!” Cheese Noodles complained.

“Yeah we can hear you.” Top Notch said.

“You don’t care about your fillies?” Babs asked.

“Ok first off: we don’t have fillies, we have hatchlings, or whelps.” Dargon corrected her. “Second, of course we care about them. We just show discipline so they’d be strong and fierce dragons. Plus, they’re supposed to respect their elders, not the other way around.”

“I don’t think it works that way.” Babs said.

“So they’re not supposed to respect their elders?” Gordon asked.

“No they are, but the elders are supposed to respect the younger ones too.” Babs said. “They’re next generation, and it pays to show they really matter. That’s what my sister Sunflower told me.”

“Hmm… never thought of it that way.” Gordon said.

“Now what were we saying before this disrespectful little filly interrupted us?” Dargon asked.

“Hey!” Babs complained. “In case you didn’t know, I was here first, so you interrupted me!” She then blows her hair.

“Whatever you say, tough gal.” Dargon said sarcastically.

“Tough gal? You think you can take me on?!” Babs challenged him.

“Stop it! Both of you!” Fritter yelled. “It doesn’t matter either way!”

“Oh yeah, I remember. I was going to say we don’t need your help anymore, FDA.” Dargon said to us. “Everywhere we go, the mobsters keep following us, and it won’t be long until the DIF think of an excuse too.”

“Whoa! The ponies in black are fighting the ponies in blue?” Babs asked.

“And mobsters.” Gordon added.

“You heard too much, Babs. Please… go home.” Fritter instructed her.

“Ok… only because I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to get my cutie mark in being a secret agent.” Babs said as she started walking away, but she stops and looks back at them and says, “If I keep too many secrets for so long, I think my brain will explode.” She blows her hair one last time and walks off.

“Are you sure she’s not going to tell anypony?” I asked.

“Ah trust Babs.” Fritter said. “Judgin’ all the secrets ah’ve seen her do, and all the friendship she’s been learnin’ from her sister, ah have the feelin’ ah could recommend her for the agency when she’s old enough.”

“That would be so adorable!” Merry said. “Isn’t this adorable, Dargon? Dargon?” But Dargon, Gordon, Top Notch, and Cheese Noodles were already all gone and all there was left was a paper blowing in the wind. Just then, Top Notch runs back and picks up the paper.

“Sorry, this is a receipt for a cool fake mustache I bought.” He said. “Anyways… bye!” He then runs off.

“Well that ends that.” I said.

“Forget about them. They’re not important.” Fritter said.

Merry gasps in shock. “How can you say that, Fritter?! Everypony (or in this case anydragon) is important!”

“Ah meant we have a mission to do. We can take care of them later.” Fritter corrected her.

“Oh… ok.” Merry said. “So now what?”

“Well, you two can kiss.” Fritter started.

“Har, har.” Merry said sarcastically. “Anything else?”

“We could try to find the Marmellata HQ.” Fritter said.

“The Marmellata HQ? Isn’t that the Commission Zeppelin?” I asked.

“Well ah hacked into the Commission Criminal Network.” Fritter said.

“They actually have one of those?” I asked.

“YES they do!” Fritter said. “Now even though the Zeppelin is the HQ for the Commission, the Marmellatas need a headquarters of their own, and their headquarters is right here in Manehattan.”

“We’re in Hooflyn though.” Merry corrected her.

“Then we just cross the bridge to get to it. They’re in a museum.” Fritter said.

“Quick questions.” I raised my hoof.

“Yes, Agent Jam?” Fritter asked.

“Which museum? There’s like… a ton of museums in Manehattan!” I said.

“Hmm… good question. It didn’t say.” Fritter thought it out. “Perhaps in case anypony hacks into the network like ah did, they want to keep information limited on it. What ah do know though is that every Commission member uses cargo helicopters to travel around. Every morning at 06:00 hours, a Marmellata security team flies over to the museum to switch shifts with the night guards. Since this museum is a front for their operations, it’s likely where Mr. Marmellata is holding up, as well as his prisoners.”

“Prisoners huh?” I asked. “Scales has to be one of them.”

“Precisely!” Fritter said. “So what we have to do is locate this chopper and follow it to the museum.”

“That doesn’t sound so hard.” Merry said.

“Y’all might think so.” Fritter said. “But every family of the Commission uses these same choppers. No logos or nothin’, just these choppers. So if we end up following a chopper, there’s no guarantee that it’s going to be the right one.”

“So what are we going to do, Agent Fritter?” Merry asked.

“We have to wing it.” Fritter said.

“You mean… fly?” Merry asked. “Because amongst this group, I’m the only one that can do that.”

“No I mean we have to follow these choppers and wait for one of them to land. That’s how we’ll know how to find the right one.” Fritter said.

“Well… that’s not easy at all.” I corrected myself.

“Now hold horses, partner.” Fritter stopped us. Merry and I then started holding eachother. “NO! Ah mean… ugh! Nevermind. Ah know of a way to make it easier.”

“Ok first I complained it wasn’t so hard, and you make it harder. Then I complain it’s really hard and then you make it easier. Make up your mind!” I complained.

“Well ah’m goin’ to make this medium mode!” Fritter said as she takes out her phone. “Ah have a trackin’ app on mah phone – it’s called Track Racin’. We could use it to track anythin’, includin’ lost items. It’s how ah found Braeburn’s lost toy car. So we just type down what type of helicopter it is we’re trackin’” Fritter types it down. “And then in which area – Manehattan, and now we’ll be able to find all the cargo helicopters that are in the Manehattan area, which will make this easier to find the location we’re after.”

“Sounds like a medium mode I can live with.” I nodded.

“Yeah me too.” Merry agreed.

“Of course you two love birds would agree.” Fritter teased.

The both of us glared at her again. “We need a carriage then.” Merry said.

“A carriage built for two?” Fritter teased.

“Will you stop with that please?” Merry asked. “I mean we all know it’s fun to joke every now and again, but we have a mission to complete!”

“I agre-“ I was about to say.

“Shut up.” Merry interrupted.

“Alright, alright, fun time’s over.” Fritter said. “Now it’s nearing dawn now, we should probably get movin’.”

“I’ll call up the U.H. Paper for a carriage.” Merry offered as she takes out her phone.

“Hey, Fritter?” I asked.

“Yeah?” Fritter asked.

“I was wondering… how did you join the FDA?” I asked.

“Didn’t Agent May tell you already?” Fritter asked.

“No.” I said.

“Oh she could’ve.” Fritter said. “Well anyway, if y’all really wanna know, mah Aunt and Uncle were FDA agents. Ah kinda was stickin’ mah nose in places it wasn’t supposed to be in and discovered their secret. They knew how much experience ah had in friendship so ah started when ah was 18. They were… they were on a mission, and… umm… well… ah don’t want to go on. Long story short – ah followed in their hoofsteps. Ah finished what they couldn’t finish. Ah was really into this job. Ah protected Appleloosa in every way ah could. Ah could’ve stopped the battle with the buffalo.”

“What stopped you?” I asked.

“The director told me those who wield the Elements of Harmony were there.” Fritter said. “As long as they’re around, the FDA doesn’t interfere. She’s trying to make their friendship stronger. They’re our protectors. They take care of many different major friendship problems.”

“They do?” I asked. “So… why are we here then? If they can handle it, what are we doing?”

“Ah guess we’re pretty much the ones that takes care of much more complicated circumstances.” Fritter said. “They handle friendship affairs, we handle criminal activity. See what made them criminals in the first place. We were originally supposed to handle all friendship in Equestria before the Elements of Harmony returned. Ah guess… ah guess the FDA is… slowly fadin’ away. Both the FDA and the DIF. Ah have a theory that we’re both goin’ to be shut down by the time these ponies reached their full potential of their powers.”

“Really?” I asked.

“Ah’m not 100% sure though. Ah never told Merry about this. Ah know she wouldn’t be able to handle it. But ah know you could, Agent Jam.” Fritter said. “Ah’m sure the director will have plans for us… perhaps… perhaps…”

“Ok I got the call in.” Merry said. “We’ll be expecting a carriage any minute now.”

“Good.” Fritter said.

“What were you two talking about?” Merry asked.

Fritter and I both looked at eachother. Fritter never told her this, so I don’t think I should either. “Agent Fritter here told me how she joined the FDA.” I said. Technically, it wasn’t a lie.

“Ah nice!” Merry nodded. “It was a tragic story, but… that’s one thing we have in common. Tragic tales brought us here together.”

“Ain’t that the truth, love?” I agreed.

After a little while, the carriage came with the U.H. Paper agent attached to it. “Hi, I’m Agent James. I’m going to be your carriage puller for today.”

“How ironic.” I commented.

“Hop on! We got mobsters to track down!” Agent James said as we climbed inside the carriage. “Where to?”

“Just drive around Manehattan and we’ll find a chopper.” Fritter instructed him. So he did. We went over across the bridge and headed to Manehattan. We did see a few choppers, but they were flying the opposite direction towards Hooflyn and Princesses. We weren’t 100% sure why. We did find another chopper though, but it flew passed a museum and it was heading towards the giant blimp in the sky.

“Hey didn’t we see that big zeppelin before?” Merry asked.

“YOU saw that zeppelin before.” I corrected her. “I was inside the ship during the time.”

“I’m just saying, that looks like the same zeppelin that dropped off those mobsters so they could pick up that Centaur dust.” Merry said.

“Hmm.” I thought. “Maybe we can ask Mr. Marmellata about that. See if he can order his ponies to dump that stuff.”

“Well, first thing’s first. We have to find Mr. Marmellata.” Fritter said. “It’s 6 AM now. If we’re goin’ to find the right chopper, now is the time.”

“Look!” I pointed. “There’s another chopper coming from the direction of the zeppelin.”

“That may be our only shot though. Let’s hope it’s the right chopper.” Merry said. So we followed that chopper across Manehattan. We almost lost it though because the morning traffic is coming in, but we were able to evade it by going through one of the non-busy streets. After a while of following, the chopper started to land over at a museum by Midhoof Park. Our driver went so fast and didn’t hesitate to parallel park while still going at high-speeds.

“WHOA!” I said surprisingly as we parked. “My friend could learn a lot from you, mate! Well, you know, if we were still around.”

“Wow! That was amazing brother!” a pony outside commented.

“Thanks!” James said to them. He then said to us, “We’re here agents! Come out!” So we stepped out of the carriage one at a time, starting with Fritter. Outside, there was a few ponies outside that watched the whole thing.

“Howdy!” Fritter said to the ponies.

“Uhhh… hiiiiii.” A familiar voice said awkwardly.

“Agent Fritter, FDA.” Fritter said as she showed them her badge.

“Sorry to tell you this, boys.” Merry said as she popped out of the carriage next, “But we have this area… oh it’s you guys again.”

“Again?! I don’t recognize you one bit!” some turquoise hipster-looking pony said to us. After I got out of the carriage, I immediately saw whom it was.

“Oi, Herb Leafhorn.” I said as I popped out of the carriage. “I knew you we’d meet, but I didn’t think here.”

“Jerry Jam. How are things with the local gangs?” Herb asked.

“Pretty well, mate. Pretty well.” I said as I removed my sunglasses. “You must be the rest of the Friendship Mafia. How are things with the Commission?”

“We need to get that helicopter that just landed on that helipad over there.” Herb pointed. “We need to get the Commission airship, and that’s our best way of doing it.”

“So you’re going to steal a helicopter to get there?” I asked.

“It’s a complicated story.” Herb said.

“I see.” I nodded. “Agent Fritter, Agent May and I need to sneak inside this museum. We hear that Mr. Marmellata is in there, and he’s got some explaining to do.”

“That must be why the Marmellata family is too busy to deal with us.” Turnip Orch, the nerdy pony from before said. “We’re dealing with the other four families right now, but the Marmellata family had no part in what we’re doing now.”

“Yes, the Marmellata family is mainly after me.” I said. “We need to get inside the museum and see him.”

“Maybe we can help eachother out.” Merry suggested.

“In what way?” the pinkish punk-like pony that shares the same accent as Cesaer asked.

“We can help you with security.” Merry suggested.

“No need, I have everything all planned out.” Turnip said. “I have all the equipment right here in this case.”

“Ooo, is that an F24 Quad?” Fritter asked curiously.

“F24.5, I made some upgrades.” Turnip said.

“Niiiiice!” Fritter nodded. “You should show that to mah stallionfriend. He, like me, is an expert in electronics.”

“Really? You look like an Appleloosan type pony to me.” Clay, the gray pony from the bank heist in Mareami said.

“What gave that away?” Fritter asked.

“Your accent mainly.” Clay said. “I’ve been to Appleloosa before.”

“Eeyup!” Fritter said.

“Anyways, good luck with Mr. Marmellata. At least one of us is dealing with him.” Herb said. “Me… I’m going to deal with my pop, Herb Senior. He made me into the pony I didn’t want to be back in school.”

“Ugh!” Merry groaned. “Flare told me everything.”

“Flare? As in Flare Gun?” Herb asked.

“No, Stormy Flare.” Merry said sarcastically. “Of course Flare Gun! He’s the sweetest, funniest, and most awesome pony anypony could ever want!”

“Really now?” Herb asked. “Are you and him…” He whistled.

“Yeah I was wondering that myself, love.” I said to her.

“Don’t we have things to do right now?” Merry asked impatiently.

“Right, right.” I nodded. “Anyways, best of luck to you, Herb. If we don’t see eachother again during this mission, hope to see you again in the future.”

“Same to you, Jerry.” Herb said.

“And Herb, if you see your dad…” Merry started calmly, she then angrily went up to his face in a threatening tone, much like how Trevor Philips would talk, and said, “…you tell him… that if he EVER… tries to ruin the life of my Flarey again… oooo… he’d be begging for mercy. His mercy would be begging for mercy! Even after he passes away he’ll be begging for mercy! Because Flare deserves MUCH BETTER!”

“Whoa, whoa! Ok, ok!” Herb said defensively and feeling a little uncomfortable. “Easy! Alright? I’m going to be teaching my pop a lesson, but I ain’t trying to be brutal to him.

Merry then takes a deep breath. “You’re right. You’re right. My apologies.” So we were finished with them. As the Friendship Mob did what they needed to do, we walked over to the museum entrance. It was time to find a way inside.