//------------------------------//
// Trying to Party Again 
// Story: Norrath, Earth, Equestria. A Construct's Journey 
// by Nimnul 
//------------------------------//

	True to her word, Pinkie had fairly quickly arranged another party. To Landshark's surprise, Applejack had apparently agreed to make her barn available for the "Landshark is Alive!" festivities. The construct began to wonder very seriously about the logistical and financial hurdles encountered by Pinkie Pie. Perhaps the Bearers of the Elements had some kind of discretionary budget? But most of the other Bearers lived fairly modestly, or at least in a way that made sense given their vocation. Perhaps Pinkie spontaneously generated party supplies on command, or was independently wealthy. Or perhaps the town budget had a 'public morale' item on it to fund Pinkie's parties. Landshark decided to keep the mystery alive for the moment.

'As long as Pinkie doesn't look down, she won't suddenly fall into a financial chasm, right?'

A surprising amount of townsponies seemed genuinely upset by the idea that they might share a neighborhood with real xenophobes.

"Look, Miss Shark," an earth pony called Gold Grist admitted, "You've chipped in plenty of times at the mill so I know yer on the level. We been hearing the rumors and we figured they were nonsense but we didn't think to say anything against 'em either. Me an' the wife, we're awful sorry about what happened. You think you know the town and then something like this happens."

Landshark was quick to reassure ponies that she did not bear them any ill will. She had little clue about social dynamics so it would have felt wrong to fault ponies for ... what exactly? Not proclaiming support for someone who tried to draw little attention to herself?

A compact pegasus Landshark knew as a town guard called Grasshopper (Grasshopper the copper, Landshark joked in the privacy of her own mind) grumblingly addressed Landshark as well. "It's a bloody disgrace for the town, is what it is. Frankly we're lucky you showed up when you did or sooner or later we woulda found a changeling or gryphon or someone else from the refugee shelter in an alley like that. Someone we can't just glue back together. Least they seem to be putting you back together with your wits about you."

Landshark didn't actually know how to address guard ponies. "Officer, I've had the same thought, actually. I'm a little worried about the future, though. My legal standing is a bit shaky, so I'm worried that if I try to defend myself I'll catch the short end of the stick when ponies get hurt."

Landshark had been assured that most ponies choosing military or police vocations genuinely wanted to serve and protect. She supposed that having a cutie mark in abusing authority didn't look good on the application. She had to admit that her perspective was likely skewed by lack of knowledge and the fact that most of her previous coworkers were from marginalized groups of their respective societies with no great fondness for the police. She herself had never had much contact with law enforcement.

Grasshopper nodded. "Yeah. It's mighty frustrating. Even if we lock em up, the judge can't properly put the hammer down particularly hard so long as you're in kind of a legal blind spot. Well, if I have to break up a fight you're in, we can always say that I just subdued the other guys a lot."

Landshark chuckled. "Don't compromise yourself on my account, officer. The sentiment is enough for me."

"Well, some ponies ain't worth their weight in horseflesh anyway. Might as well tenderize em. You enjoy your party now. I got a late shift."

Landshark nodded goodbye. "Well, I'll have to remember that turn of phrase. That's not originally Equestrian, is it? Anyway, have a quiet night."

It went on like that for a while. Near-strangers would come up to Landshark and exchange a few lines with varying levels of awkwardness. Perhaps some of them felt regret about not doing so sooner. She still had a pretty good time though. She managed to beat a slightly drunk Rainbow Dash in arm/hoof wrestling. All it took was demanding rematches ("Best eleven out of twenty!") until the pegasus had been so spent that she eventually lost a single round to Landshark's unexceptional yet tireless strength. 

Eventually Landshark used a post-Karaoke lull in the party to head up on the makeshift stage to address the partygoers.

"It's nice to see you all tonight, even if I don't know some of you very well. Thanks for showing up! I wanted to tell you something." She paused for effect.

"I'm sure some of you have heard all sorts of rumors about me by now. I assure you, they're not true. I don't hate any of the Princesses and I'm certainly not plotting against them."

"What would you even do?" Lyra was yelling from the crowd. "You've got no magic at all, the Princess controls the SUN!"

"You take hits worse than I do," Ditzy loudly pointed out, although the pegasus generally recovered so quickly from accidents that most locals could be assumed to take hits worse than Ditzy did.

"Beats me," Landshark continued. "I suppose if one of them put a hoof through my chest, they might get scratched by shards. But let me be honest. The rumors aren't totally baseless. I can't love and trust them like most ponies do. I've never before met a sovereign worthy of such."

The barn was quieter now. "I hope you'll be okay with that. Princess Celestia seemed to think I can still be a decent neighbor. From what I heard and read, I think I can learn to respect her as a ruler. It was difficult at first to get used to the idea of integrity in a head of state."

"Oh come on," Berry Punch slurred from the punch bowl. "Jus' from the sound of yer voice yer already respectin' them more than half of those entitled Canterlot snobs do! You think the Bluebloods of the world love the alicorns? Hah!"

It turned out to be a well-timed interjection. There was general agreement in the crowd. 

"Thank you, Berry. In any case, I think I'm very lucky to be here. You have a beautiful country and great rulers.  And even If I don't think of myself as a subject, I'll do my best to be a good neighbor to you. But you didn't come here to listen to me drone on and on, so I'll let you get back to the party."

There was clapping. Well, hoof stomping actually. Although it started with her friends and some of the Bearers, Landshark noted that it quickly caught on. She was very happy with the evening so far, but there was something else she had neglected for too long. She procured a mug of the hard cider and excused herself from the barn, moving to its back wall to lean against it.

"Well guys. Sorry I haven't been in touch. Been a strange couple of weeks. Got displaced to alien reality. Made some friends. Got beaten up by ponies. But I think I'll be okay here. And the old unit will be fine as well. Malloy is looking after them."

She looked up at the stars as she heard a pony approach. "You know, for a second I was asking myself if you could even hear me while I'm under these alien stars. Maybe I'm losing it after all."

She shook her head as Pinkie Pie settled down next to her. She didn't look at the pony as she continued to talk to absent friends. "I know you didn't get to know her well, but please look after Malloy for me. I know how she can be, but she'll do right by the cause, and she'll stick up for the guys on the ground, in her own way."

She started pouring out the mug of cider. "This one's for you, folks."

Landshark carefully placed the empty mug on the ground and produced a battered pack of cigarettes from her pockets. Very carefully she clamped one between her teeth without damaging it. Then she lit it with a match. "And this one's for you, Gnat."

There was a minute of quiet before Landshark pinched out the cigarette with her fingertips and stashed it away. She wanted to stretch her supply, considering there wasn't any way for her to get more of the brand Gnat had preferred.

"Thanks for keeping me company, Pinkie. But I am sorry if I brought your party mood down."

"Don't apologize, you big silly! I learned long ago that not all friends need the same things. I'm happy if me being here makes you feel better." Pinkie reared up to hug the construct with her forelegs. "You miss your friends a whole lot, huh?"

"Yes." Landshark simply said. "But I'm also very worried about something, Pinkie. It might sound stupid, but will you hear me out?"

"Of course! What are friends for? Although I am curious what could possibly worry the girl who spat a god in the eye. Figuratively." Pinkie still wasn't bouncing or being otherwise hyper-active. She was displaying admirable restraint, all things considered.

"Well ... I've never had friends as young as Pinchy and Dinky. I worry a lot about upsetting them, or doing something wrong and upsetting their mothers. Pinchy probably knows about as much about my weapons as Twilight does by now. That probably wasn't a good idea for a conversation."

Pinkie giggled. "Well, as long as you leave out the gory details, they can understand a lot of stuff they're not given credit for. And they love it when there's some special secret they share with someone. But what brought that on? Your friends are all sorts of understanding when you're being socially inept for one reason or another!"

Landshark nodded slowly. "Well, it's probably a stupid worry. But I still remember when Gnat died and I had to tell her family. Her husband was a solid guy and he was prepared to stay strong for the kids. Her daughters were crushed. I know that's natural but at the time I felt so responsible. I was angry at the boss. It was basically just luck of the draw but if I'd been in Gnat's spot that day, they'd have glued me back together and I'd have been good to go a couple of weeks later. And I was so sure the kids knew that too. I just ... don't want to cause any family that much grief again."

Pinkie nodded. "You don't need to apologize for feeling that way. Did the girls come to terms with it? Children can be pretty resilient as long as they have some other support in place, you know!"

"Yeah. I kept in touch, even though it hurt, seeing the various little mannerisms they'd learned from their mother. You would have liked her too. Gnat was fun. She introduced me to Surfin' Bird."

"Oh yeah? Tell me about her! Like why'd you smoke for her specifically earlier."

Landshark turned the empty mug over in her hands while answering. "She never drank alcohol. She smoked these bottom of the barrel cheap cigarettes, but only on special occasions, as if they were a real treat. When the rest of the unit broke out the liquor to celebrate, she'd share a smoke with me instead. Pretending to smoke is a lot less messy than pretending to drink for me, and that way I was basically included. That was when I still new to the outfit and a lot of people didn't know what to make of me."

"Well, that's a sweet gesture of her, I like her already! And it's thoughtful of you as well, to remember her like that." Pinkie nodded enthusiastically. Her mane bounced.

"Yeah. It was a big help. I'll always remember her. And the others, of course." Landshark paused for a moment. "Gnat was smart. She knew how people thought. She helped me, well, fit in better. I'm more relatable because of her. I have mannerisms. I modulate my voice correctly. I think she was a bit like you and could just tell I really felt things. Applejack is right, though: It's all an act." The construct didn't seem too worried about the fact.

Pinkie giggled. "Well, maybe when you laugh it's a choice but I know you're for real!" She tilted her head inquisitively, and way too far for a standard pony neck. "But wait a minute, didn't you tell Twilight you were built for getting along with people and such? Shouldn't you already have been able to do that stuff?"

The construct emitted a sigh. "Perhaps. We were built to ... convert people to a different way of thinking. For this, of course, we needed to be convincing and relatable." She paused, snapped her jaws and continued in a droning monotone, void of inflection. "After it all came apart, and we realized the evil we had been used for it hurt a lot. It damaged us all in our own ways, I think. I did not at first care to learn how to act around humans in this new culture I was in."

Pinkie stood up to give Landshark a hug. The two-hoof neck hug had seemed ideal on their first meeting, standing chest to chest with the biped, but Pinkie had quickly learned that the construct's stability had its limits, so she made sure not to lean on her too heavily before releasing the hug.

"You've seen some pretty evil stuff, I think," Pinkie reasoned. "It's natural that it made you uneasy to do your old tricks again, even just to belong. Behind those teeth, you feel like a normal person to me, but one whose life has been larger than life! Rebel against an evil god, international covert monster hunter, but never just you! Sounds like something out of an adventure novel! I think it's fine to just want to live a small life now. You have friends here. Protecting this world isn't your job. Just be who you are and be there for your friends, and let them be there for you, and you're doing enough good by making them happy!" Pinkie offered a smile full of warmth and comfort. "And you're always up for a party."

Landshark nodded. "I'm a social creature! And you know if you needed my help for some big thing I couldn't do anything less than my best." She paused again, regarding Pinkie fondly. It was true that her relations to the majority of the Bearers of the Elements weren't close, but she really did feel privileged to know Pinkie. "You're just what the doctor ordered, you know. Gnat always told me to live a little. And I did, I think. I had fun with my comrades. But I didn't know much else but that camaraderie at first. Friendship among really rough, sometimes damaged folk."

Pinkie nodded along, but did look curious. "Well, I'm happy you're happy that we're friends but what do you mean by that? I am, of course, Equestria's foremost authority on all types of parties, but there isn't much demand for the type of rough entertainment a bunch of hardened soldier types would go in for, although I suppose I could invite some gryphons and minotaurs, maybe some town guards. Finding the proper date for it would be a little more difficult, maybe." 

Pinkie pulled a rolodex from her mane. "Let's see, rowdy party for people who spend most of their life waiting around or risking their neck. Gambling, various types. Exotic dancers," she waggled her eyebrows without blushing. "Both genders of course. I haven't had to call up these people in ages! Plenty of hard liqueur. Also dart boards. Combined they'll cause just the right type of anecdote to recount fuzzily at a later date!"

Landshark laughed and tried to playfully shove the earth pony. She thought Pinkie swayed a bit mostly to humor her. "I don't need that kind of party, Pinkie, although I'd show up if invited. But what I mean is that I learned to appreciate more about life than just that camaraderie." She paused. "Sometimes I wonder if I managed to teach that to one of my later friends too."

"Did you lose that other friend too?" Pinkie's mane briefly deflated, but she could tell, by her own mysterious means, that Landshark's mood hadn't worsened.

Landshark twitched her jaw with her version of a smile. "Saving Malloy's life is how I got stranded here. She was badly hurt, so she couldn't help me out like I helped her. She'll think I'm dead, but she is strong in her own way. She'll carry on. She is ... socially inept and doesn't connect well with others, but she is very much focused on protecting our people."

"I hope your friend will be okay without you! She sounds really nice!" Pinkie had to think of Fluttershy – very kind, but perhaps not very good at interacting with other ponies to spread the kindness around.

"She'll manage," Landshark insisted. "She's not ... not a nice person. There was a joke going around that she's more of a robot than me. 'Malloy? That girl can't have more personality than a bowl of skimmed milk!'" Landshark shook her head after imitating another's voice. "We had a good chuckle on that one." Landshark sobered. "Malloy is extremely dangerous. She does not feel the same about other people as you or I would."

"I'm not saying this to be mean," Landshark explained, "but she was like an exceptionally dangerous guard animal to the rest of the unit. Or maybe like installing some kind of swinging pendulum blade trap, for all the emotion she feels. There is nothing but a sort of moral vacuity. But for all that she is as soulless as the proverbial automaton, she will stick to her task with intelligence and ruthlessness."

Pinkie shivered a little bit as she imagined trying to be friends with someone like that. She'd try, of course, but it would likely require a delicate touch. Maybe a blast with the elements of harmony to purge the evil, if that kind of thing worked that way. She recovered quickly though, and grinned. "Well, you must have been an odd pair, but I'm not sure she would have gotten along around here as well as you have."

Landshark interlaced her fingers and looked at the sky. "I don't know. She could fake it pretty well at the end, I taught her that. If she manages to meet her limited needs, she is not prone to violence. And she learned to stop being impulsively careless, so she would probably not just murder somepony for well, being rude to her. It's just that although she's physically human, she has a complete machine mind. She keeps herself in good repair and will do literally anything she is asked to do by someone she works for."

She sighed and shook her head. "It's funny, in a way. My ethical behavior comes from sympathy, past experiences and social ties. I think it is similar for most people. But Malloy barely understands the concept of a conscience, she barely has a personality. Her grasp of morals is purely theoretical. An intellectual construct, like when she pretends to have a sense of humor. She watches normal person behavior and then reproduces it awkwardly. Something must have gone badly wrong with her in some way, to leave her human only on the outside, but to the folks around her, she isn't anymore crazy than their service weapons. They kill when instructed, but don't come to your bunk at night to do something to you."

Pinkie Pie grinned like a mad mare, although she was glad she didn't have anyone like that person in her life right now. "I guess we'll just take away from that that you'll give anyone the time of day as long as they're not actively hurting people you care about right now!" She paused as what she said caught up with her. "I'm sure Twilight could tell you about the moral implications of working alongside an unrepentant violent criminal but I'm just going to be happy you're willing to befriend just about anyone. Yep!"

Landshark got up. "There's always people who are willing to stand between their society and the worst the world has to offer. Some can't do the job and stay human. But the job must be done. Nothing keeps me from caring about these folk. It would hurt Twilight to know I could be more comfortable around someone truly dangerous than around an alicorn, which I am on edge around." She generated an amused snort. "To be frank, I am proud of what I am. Yes, my machine heart's impulses regarding godlike beings are counterproductive around the mighty, but I struggle with so little else in life compared to regular people, I won't complain."

Pinkie's mood was briefly deflated by the reminder of the distance between two of her friends, but she still nodded and began heading back towards the barn's entrance with a bounce in her step. "Who were you telling about that Malloy lady, me, or the absent friends you came out here to talk to, Shark?"

Landshark kept walking. "Both, I suppose. Some never knew her, some only at her worst. But come on, enough dwelling on the past." Reminiscence was well and good, but she couldn't help her old friends now. Some were dead, some she'd never see again. That was alright. Their memories would keep. 

Sudden insight made her pause as her mind switched tracks to thinking of her new friends. "Pinkie, do you know what Bon Bon did before living here? Has she always lived here?"

Pinkie had just leaped up into a bounce to follow the construct back inside, but checked herself. "She hasn't always lived here! But I don't know anything much about her except of course her birthday and that she hates surprises." Her mane straightened out. "I made Lyra very, very angry one time. I Pinkie Promised not to startle Bon Bon ever again. That was before I was very good at being friends with people who don't appreciate a lot of action and loud fun." Her mane poofed back to normal. "So it really means a lot to me that they at least try to come to my parties!"

Landshark briefly placed a hand on Pinkie's withers to offer comfort, but the party pony wasn't the type to silently walk with, so she soon bounced all around the construct for the few steps back to the party. "Lyra and Bon Bon only said nice things about you, I'm sure they've forgiven you long ago." 

She finally realized what had nagged at her about Bon Bon. She'd seen eyes like hers before. Not literally, of course. Pony eyes were rather large for their bodies. But she had seen humans with pupils that never focused for long on any one thing, because of all the things they'd seen already. She hadn't at first been able to make that memory connect with yet another brightly colored pony. 

Huh. That's a thing, I guess.


"Oh, I know Lyra is my friend now, but wow she was steamed at the time! And I noticed that it really surprises everypony else when they see me just open a door, walk through and say hello, so it's okay that I'm being careful around Bon Bon too!"

They stepped back into the barn to enjoy the rest of the night.