I limped into the hallway and was blessed with the sweet smell of baking. How anyone was baking anything was a mystery to me, maybe more goblins, but no matter what, it wasn’t unpleasant. Just like the thought I’d had earlier in the experience about who had taken care of my… leavings.
I owed Una so much already, the fact she’d cleaned up my waste was just enforcing my obligation to repay her.
“I shall show thee to the dining hall,” she paused, the word almost caught in her throat, “oh sorry, I mean room,” she said dejectedly. “The finest baker of sweet and salty goods is present in my employ. She is my adoptive daughter as well,” she said, joy returning to her voice as she waited for me to catch up.
The house I’d seen so far was two rooms, side by side, a hallway large enough for two ponies to pass and rub sides, and another door at the end of the hall. I turned to look back to see my two little friends behind me and another door opposite the one I’d left that I hadn’t noticed.
That must be the restroom, I thought to myself, I can’t wait to use it, maybe there’s a shower with hot water or a luxurious bath, I mused to myself as we reached the door at the end of the hall.
“Now, stay calm,” she said happily as the door glowed a light yellow and swung open. We stepped through and everything was made of the finest candy the world could ever know. “It’s all edible, take a bite,” she said as I dropped the blanket and charged the nearest table and bit a chunk out of it.
It was so tasty I swear I could have heard the others squealing with happiness and joining in with me.
I sniffed the table I was biting and winced at a sudden pain in my mouth and a tugging feeling on my legs, a shout came into my ear as I blinked to see myself with a plate, thankfully made of applewood, in my mouth and the horses and pony trying to pry me out of the bench that was overturned under the table with me under it, if that makes sense.
Once I was free of it all I was laying on the floor, with Una looking down at me, worry filled her expressions and her horn was alit. The cold wooden floor stung my bruised areas and my arm was under a dull throbbing pain still.
“W-what happened?” I asked as I moved my jaw around, feeling my teeth in my mouth confusedly.
“Thy are still under the effects of the medicine, it seems. Tell me thy feelings and thoughts, Mocha.”
“Uh, I’m confused and heard you say this place was all eatable. Then here I am.”
“Una, will he be okay?” I heard Retalia ask from above me, somewhere. I wasn’t in any shape to go moving my body and looking around.
“Yes, it seems he is well, however I fail to see how he would interpret my query an invitation to eat the platters,” she said with joy returning to her.
“I-I had a vision that everything was edible, you had said it before the door opened.”
“My query, not statement of the taste of the decor, was whether or not thou had a friend to help you now that thou are proprietor of the inn.”
I groaned lightly and raised my arm in a motion that usually meant ‘help me up’, only to be left hanging. “Help me up please,” I said as I realized quadrupeds have no reason for such a gesture.
“I can’t believe I got that place, what do I have to do to get rid of it and to the next town?”
Una’s expression fell. “Thou cannot leave yet to travel, thou can hardly move, lest you travel you may further damage yourself, I cannot allow you to leave.”
I was sitting at this point, the light tingle of her magic against my upper back supporting me.
“How long until I’m healed enough to leave? A week or two?”
“I-I don’t know thy body, maybe six weeks, maybe less. Come, let us dine and converse over the recent events.”
“What about the inn, can I sell it?”
“Nay, the seller must maintain the property until it is repurchased. None in town wish to own the inn, costs are too extreme.”
“I’ll give it away.”
“Nay again to thee, the taxes would be steep.”
I didn’t even bother to grumble or anything. I just felt the pain of what was being said slide down a lump in my throat and I locked it away as I stood again, with Retalia and Una as my… what’re they called, um, hoof rests doesn’t sound right. Whatever, I used them to get up again.
I covered myself with the sheet and wrapped it over and around my body. I think it was a topa style. Tonah, toga, tota? I don’t recall, but it covered me and left my unskilled left hand free to manipulate the meal ahead.
The table was rectangular with bench seats; long ones at the sides and shorter ones at each end. Lom and Retalia sat side by side with Lom closer to me, Una and I sat at opposite ends of the table, which left a whole side open. Plates of ceramic and a bowl with a spoon on them set the table for four.
Una called out. “We are prepared, please bring the meal,” with a knock on the table with her hoof.
A clatter of noise from beyond the door preceded it opened and the pink mare trotted in with a large wooden oval tray balanced on her back. She placed it against the table and with a hop of her rump it was on the table, then she left back to the kitchen, returning again with another before doing the same, lastly she left and returned with a small crock of soup in her mouth, held in a wicker basket. She walked to Una and bowed after the table was set with food, her bow left her almost kissing the floor with how deep she went.
“By thy leave?” the pink mare whimpered into the floor.
“Pinkie, stand and present thyself. Thy are free now,” Una said with a hint of concern in her expression, “take a seat by me, yearling.”
The pink one stood and, with a lowered head walked to the other side of Una, across from Retalia and I, before she climbed, roughly, onto the seat.
A lot of concerned looks went between the adults at the table over the next second.
“Mayhaps I shall elaborate,” Una started, “there are three tribes of ponies. Ne’ev they shall cross, lest the born be cast aside. Pinkie here,” she tapped the place in front of the pink mare, “is one such cross. A pegasi and an earth mare. The rumors and gossip of how the union occurred-”
Her eyes widened and looked to the mare sitting somberly by her side. “A story for another day, never, preferred. The union was a brief romance, more of a lovers tale to the youth you will hear of someday, I’m certain.”
She quickly took a gossip tone and was about to go off on a rant, I could tell, so I steeled her with a look that focused her back on the topic.
“Yes, apologies again. The foal they bore was this one here. The dam, nag as she was, locked her in the cellar for her life, only to be allowed out when it was necessary-”
“When mother needed meals, mostly,” the pink mare said softly, looking to where I assume her hooves were.
“What else, dear?” Una coached.
“W-well,” Pinkie started, looking up to Una before continuing, “when a gathering would happen, I would set up, cook, then go back to the cellar by the old barn, then when it was over I would clean up and put everything away. Mother didn’t like me to have done it, but I often would steal food and hide it from the parties.
“I-I would,” she began quieting to nearly a whisper, “I would pretend to have my own parties with my friends.”
“Yes, with that you know what a savage lot these earth ponies are; to treat their own kin in such a way is only fuel to their own pire.”
“Woah,” I interjected, “you can’t condemn a whole people, or race, or tribe, or whatever based on the actions of a few.”
“I beg to differ, had I not purchased this fine servant, she would no nothing of civil life to this day,” she retorted with a hint of that elegant snobbery.
“And to that, I’m certain we’re all grateful,” I replied sincerely, “my own kind had a long history of slavery and oppression, my own ancestors, by the color of their skin, would wage the worst of wars,” I stated trying to sound poetic.
“I call thee out, surely thy jest, a people such as you, who looks like a minotaur, were brutish in thy past?” she mused again. At first she was a charm, but quickly, over the four minutes we’d been around the table I was ready to see how far I could punt her.
“Well, enough of that, what’s for dinner?” I said, changing the subject and gripping a spoon in my hoof. Hand, I meant hand.
“W-well, I made a layered salad with nuts,” Pinkie started speaking softly as she reached with her left hoof and removed the first dome, “and a hot potato soup for us. And for the,” she glanced to me for the briefest of split seconds, “him, I made a carnivores delight.”
She winced as she released the first lid, having placed it to the side, before reaching to the other.
“Wait!” I interjected, stopping the others from reaching for the salad, “What’s under that cover?”
The pink mare looked at the table before me, not looking at me. “A mix of animal parts from fresh kills, as thy need.”
She placed a hoof on the lid and lifted it. I waited and was ready to see a pool of blood and dead animals piled up, ready for a ravenous dog to slobber over.
What I saw was a pie. It looked like any fruit pie, which didn’t help my nerves. She tapped it off the tray onto the table quickly, so she wouldn’t burn herself, before it stopped before me after a few extra taps.
Everypony sat in silence for a second before Lom reached to grab the pot of soup. “Lom, wait. I’ll pour you some,” I said softly reaching for the pot. I opened the lid and a puff of aromatic steam escaped filling the table with a sweet scent plus potatoes. I moaned in approval before the others. “Yeah, this’ gonna be good. Do we have a ladle?”
The pink mare sat up quickly and a look of fear crossed her face, her muzzle trembled, and she looked at me like I had a fist coming at her.
“N-no, please, mine mind was remiss, please forgive me,” she said stumbling back and falling to the floor from the bench she was on, with a thud from both her and the bench hitting the floor.
I froze and looked to Una who had a look of surprised shock. “Pinkie, are thou okay?” she asked still sitting, no motion to move.
I pulled my leg carefully back and over the bench, clutching the blanket tight I limped the several feet to her and knelt down, it hurt but I didn’t groan she scrambled back and used her forelegs to guard her head and I saw scars across the exposed parts of her limbs.
“Don’t fret thyself, Mocha, she’s used to this. She’ll cease her cowering and sob in the kitchen, per usual.”
“Pinkie, is that your name?” I asked the pink mare softly. She shook her head quickly with an apology.
“What is your name? What should I call you?”
“Her name is not important, she is pink, a lovely shade at that,” Una said scooping herself some salad.
“What’s your name?” I asked softly, placing a hand on the small mares foreleg. She cringed and scampered back to the wall and sobbed. “I won’t hurt you, ever. I promise. Cross my heart, hope to cry, stick a rusty nail in my eye.”
Her ears turned toward me sharply and her legs lowered, her eyes opened again and looked to me, finally.
“W-what’s that mean?”
“It means I mean it. I wanna be your friend, but I need to know your name.”
Una sighed sarcastically. “Horses, eat. Thy friend wishes to make friends with a mixed breed, it is his choice. No reason for us to go hungry.”
I was really starting to dislike Una.
“M-my real name is… Latrine.”
“...Oh.”
“Yes, yes. Now you know why I call her Pink, and many variations of. Her mother named her after a hole one defecates in.”
“Well her mother is a fucking bitch,” I stated. Pinkie gasped and a chortle left her, quickly she covered her mouth. “It’s true. I haven’t met her and I hate her already, treating such a beautiful, mare, like you like anything but a little angel.”
A smile. The first smile I’d seen on her. More like a smirk, still forming as she asked a question I still lament.
“What’s an angel?”
I had three options run through my mind at that second. One, tell her about a religion and lead to other questions that could start something I may regret. Two, lie to her and tell her it was a term of endearment. Three…
“It means a creature with wings that are gifted to it by a higher being, its beauty is unparalleled and it’s loved by almost all who see it.”
The sparkle in her eyes. I couldn’t describe it if I had a week.
“W-wings? Like daddy, but they’d love me?” she asked softly, the growing strength in her voice…
“Yes, to soar through the sky-”
“Oh to think,” Una tittered, “an earth pony ‘sprouting wings and flying through the sky’? A fine jest, but I digress, let us eat and leave the fun for after our meal.”
I was really starting to dislike Una.
I smiled to Pinkie again and helped her up. There was no was I was gonna call her by her real name, ever.
I offered her a helping hand up, which she took reluctantly. I helped her get to her hooves and walked back to my spot, sitting heavily and shooting Una a glare before I pushed my plate and bowl to Pinkie's place, leaned up, and began scooping food for Pinkie, and a ladle of soup into her bowl.
She was had set the bench and had climbed on it and gasped. “T-thy have set my plate?”
“What?” I asked.
“N-none have ever-”
“You’re the first to put food on her plate. Congratulations are in order, thou have given her something I could not.”
“What? I was just being polite," I said passively. She stared at her plate and looked to me with a gleam in her eyes, a bit of moisture building in the corners of her eyes. “It was nothing, really."
“True! Mocha always nice to Lom. More nice than any other,” Lom said just before she shoved a hooffull of salad into her mouth. I looked to Retalia who nodded while he chewed, mouth open by the way. Ugh. Peeve.
“Well, you’re becoming a favorite to her already. Mayhaps you wish to purchase her, I could use the trade to buy three of what I paid for her; ones that aren’t nearly as broken.”
Taking a bite and crunching loudly through a closed mouth Una looked at me sincerely. Suddenly I realized what she’d been doing since she saw my expression when Pinkie walked in. She was pitching a sale of a creature she couldn’t take care of; but I could.
I frowned and took my seat, took my spoon and dipped into my pie. One bite and my bad mood melted away in a series of almost orgasmic moans.
I had taken three more bites before I realized I was the center of attention, but I didn’t care. I was the ‘freak’ anyway. A rich freak at that, it seemed to the locals. “This’ beyond amazing. How much do you want for her?” I asked without thinking about the fact I was in the middle of a slave trade.
“Well, a Ranovite gem would be more than fair.”
“How about a fragment and I’ll offer you a room at my inn.”
“I have no need for an inn when I have a house my own,” she scoffed with a wave of her hoof.
“No, a room. Whenever any creature stays in it over the next year you get ten percent of their bill paid to you.”
She raised an eyebrow at that.
“How do I know thy’ll simply never use said room? T’would be simple to have every other room occupied during spring harvests save the one.”
“It will be the first I offer every night, I will furnish it with the best bed and cleanest linen possible. You will be richer by the end of the year by percentage alone.”
She let a sly grin creep onto her muzzle.
“We have an accord, Pinkie, you are his ward now. Mister Mocha, we will visit the mayor and settle our agreement post haste, after our meal and after thy clean thyself.”
I felt a hint of an insult but nodded, I was gross and needed to clean up. I touched my face to feel my uneven beard coming in, plus my hair must be growing, which meant I had unruly dense curls to deal with.
The rest of the meal was spent with Retalia regaling us with stories of his time as a defender of the gatherers. I had no idea he had actually fought off beasts with his little group and that he was the equivalent of a sergeant. A drill sergeant at that, in charge of training new recruits who were ready to move into their jobs.
We finished our meal and they helped me into the bathroom. More like a literal bathroom; a large wooden tub and a scrub brush, jars of stuff that were meant for ponies and horses that I hesitated to guess what they were, and a chamber pot. Eeyup, a chamber pot. A short one too, designed for the owner, not every creature that came through her care.
I looked to her and she smiled that warming smile again. The one that told me she did care, before she nodded to the tub.
“There’s no water.”
“We don’t use water for bathing, jester. Now get in and take my linen from thy hide.”
I chuckled and untied the sheet, letting it fall behind me, leaving her staring, inches from my… dangling participle.
She stared for a second too long before she cleared her throat and turned away. I was enjoying these creatures’ reactions. They were naked but always looked at my nudity like it was new to them.
I guess it was new, in a way. But she’d have seen it a lot while she was changing me and all that, so I don’t know.
I got in the tub and started to sit.
“No, stand, this will be quick.”
“That’s what she said,” I said quickly.
“Oh dear,” she said rolling her eyes. I fist pumped my left arm, she got the reference. She smirked and sighed in defeat. “Thy humor is limitless, it seems. Even with a musing as old as that one. Last I heard that I fell off my elephant.”
“Is that what you call your ex-boyfriend?”
She burst out laughing. It was a hearty laugh that I couldn’t help but smile at. A pony. A smart refined pony that spoke with ‘thee’s’ and ‘thou’s’ mixed with common local vernacular that got my jokes.
This wasn’t so bad, and I liked her a little more than during dinner.