//------------------------------// // Chapter One, Never Let a Psycho Buy You a Meal // Story: Dancing Flames, Cooling Ember // by Tamara Bloodhoof //------------------------------// Chapter One Never Let a Psycho Buy You a Meal Stealing Black wings idea of mental writing, hope you don’t mind. “Wait, you'd send me to Equestria?” I asked, my eyebrows disappearing into my hairline in shock. “But how would you get me there in the first place.” I was sitting at a table in my favorite coffe shop, an older woman sitting across from me. She had midnight blue hair and a huge scar spanning across her face, but had so far actually been rather interesting and nice. “Do you really want me to explain? Explaining the secrets of the universe are horribly complicated.” the woman responded, a false pout on her lips. “It’ll go over your head, and what’s the point of that? Always thought that confusing explanations were worthless. Anyways, what do you want to be?” she said excitedly, her face a bamboozling amalgaration of anticipation and feigned sadness. “Okay, I'll conceed that I’m not exactly good at quantum physics. But what would I be? Rhetorically? Well, I would want to be fast, but strong enough to defend myself.” I stated, my voice somewhat strained as I contemplated the ridiculous expression on her face. “But I’m not even sure what exists in Equestria, I’m not that huge a fan, I've only seen the episodes once, and I've never seen any of the fandom.” My eyes drifted off into the distance, staring blindly at the dark clouds outside, which were pouring rain down upon the street outside. “Yes, I could see that, it's actually rather obvious, but life doesn’t always come at us straight and easy. Unfortunately for you, life decided to throw you a curveball today. I pray that I'll see you later.” She replied, nonchalantly sipping at a cup of tea, a saucer held in her hand. ‘Wait, where did that cup come from? And why did she just say bye to me? Why/how is life throwing me a curveball? And why am I FALLING STRAIGHT THROUGH THE SOLID BUCKING GROUND!?!’ My brain processed all of that in about 0.89 seconds, but it still was too late for me to escape the black void that had suddenly appeared below me, swallowing me whole. **************************************************************************************************** Wait, wait, wait, I should start at the beginning, shouldn’t I? Sorry about that. My name is Ember. I’m fifteen years old. I have midnight blue hair, bordering on black, and a fair amount of muscles. I do kickboxing, have a black belt in Tae-Kwon-Do, and have learned enough judo to throw someone up to my weight without straining myself. I can bench press one hundred pounds on my better days, have straight A’s (only due to my dad breathing down my neck), speak a bit of six languages (A.K.A. can talk to someone over basic concepts), can dissect a pig in less than a minute (Dear god that was messy), have a thorough understanding of animal physiology (biology being a favorite class), and I’m also the star of the track team (not as good as one would think). I’m also a girl. Now, going to Equestria wasn’t my dream, it was more like a passing thought, born from a quick stab of loneliness. You see, even though I was so good at practically everything, I still had a gargantuan amount of problems and worries. My dad, or maybe slave driver would describe him better, was a perfectionist who hated to see his daughter be second best at anything. He would wake me up at five, I would go to bed at nine, and I got less than one hour for some me time. And the last time I got a B in school… well, let’s just say it wasn’t pretty. But he wasn’t the end of my problems, oh no. After having to deal with father, I also had to deal with a bunch of puffed up spoiled brats, the popular kids. They never were rough mind you, just liked to ridicule me enough to hurt my ego. Even though I reported it, the teachers never caught them at it, so I learned to just suck it up. Today had been no different. Wake up, go to the gym, kick a punching bag so many times that the chain broke (suprised my foot didn't), head home, shower, get dressed for school in my dark gray uniform (skirt, tights, shirt, tie, and vest), go to school, get bullied, go to lunch, get bullied, finish school, head to café to eat and do homework, run into a psycho lady who asked me if I want to go to Equestria……… Okay, scratch that last one; that is anything but normal. But hey, she offered to buy the food, and who was I to argue against a free meal with my pocket money being so low, so I sat down with her, we ordered our meals, and talked a bit about MLP. I wasn’t big enough of a fan to be a pega-sister, but I had watched all the episodes (once mind you), so I had a okay to decent amount of knowledge about MLP. She, on the other hand, was a bona-fide pony guru. She even stated, in what seemed to be a loving tone, that she made MLP, but when I asked what section she worked in, she merely snorted (sounded almost like a whinny) and said, “What section, that’s like asking what part of the world faces the moon, or even the sun.” and refused to answer any other queries I asked. All-in-all it was a delightful conversation, but as I decided to leave, she asked me again that mind boggling question of whether I wanted to go to Equestria or not. We exchanged the comments above, and poof, I was gone. Yay, I get a free trip and don’t even have time to pack the essentials, what next? Shout out to Black Wing, Thanks a ton To Rust, may you ever prosper.