//------------------------------// // Halloween Special Part 3 // Story: Deadpool in Equestria // by MrAquino //------------------------------// Luna sat on a stump as Deadpool dragged a large, human shaped doll with the face of that one kid from Home Alone. "And it's not Makully Cullin!" Deadpool added "I didn't ask who it was." Luna replied "And what does this have to do with summoning the quote on quote, 'king' of pop?" "Don't you dare insult the one true king of pop. Plus, though we cheer him for his music, this is one of his many vices. I would have a fake nose, but with me having a muzzle now, he'd not come down. Got the Vinyl ready!?" Got it! Stuffy placed a Vinyl recorder next to the doll. "Excellent! Now, what we have to do is hide and wait for him to take the bait." "What will we do if he foolishly falls for this?" "That's where this camera gets in!" Deadpool pulled out a camera. "If there's one thing the king shares with every celebrity, it's the news coming in and interrupting them with something most people do would on a normal basis! Plus, this camera's from TMZ, the most awful thing humanity has to offer!" "...How awful, exactly?" "If you were where I was from, they'd stalk you everywhere you go and ask you annoying as hell questions! Why, even if you go to a bathroom, they'll record you doing it!" "...What is wrong with them!?" "A whole f**k load!" Are we going to do this? "Oh yeah! Hit it!" Stuffy pressed the play button and Smooth Criminal played WHOOPS!!! "THE ORIGINAL!!! NOT ALIEN ANT FARM VERSION!!!" As the music played, the three jumped into a bush and hid. Looking like a very crappy found-footage-movie, Deadpool recorded as the clouds opened above, and descended from Heaven was Michael Jackson himself. Many of the kid angels yelled things like 'Thank God it's over!' to 'Why aren't why my parents here!? I need an Adult!', and yes, M.J. did it, but we're not going to touch on that otherwise this will have to change to Mature. As I was typing, Deadpool recorded as the king of Pop foolishly walked to the doll. "Oh, hello there little boy or girl," he spoke in his voice that made all of us today yell 'Gay!' "Why are you alone in these woods?" Silence. "Oh my! You can't speak? Well, if it makes it all better." He took off his coat. Deadpool jumped out, still recording. "GOTCHA!!!" he yelled. M.J. screamed and put his coat back on. "TMZ here! Michael Jackson; what were you going to do to that doll!?" "It was a doll!? I thought it was a child!" "You sick f**k! Just wait until everyone sees that not are you still alive, but you're a predator!" "No! Don't do that! I'll do anything!" "...Anything?" "Yes, of course small talking horse." Deadpool rose his eyeborws quickly. "We got 'im." Michael Jackson watched in shock as Ponyville was in flames with ponies everywhere causing havoc. "Oh my!" He expressed himself "This is going to be hard." "So go on!" Deadpool replied "Use your magic!" "He doesn't have magic." Luna replied "And even if he did, he'd need the power of-" "OW!!!" Michael Jackson yelled, pulling his crotch. A large blast came from him, starting at his junk area, and went around the town. Everypony caught in it was not only changed back from their costume form, but were turned into humans as well. Not much could be said for the zombies, who, despite now being humans, continued to try to devour the flesh of those not infected. EMBRACE THE PAIN!!! Stuffy sliced another zombie's head off before being succumbed himself, his organs being ripped out as the zombies pulled his organs out. "...Are you sane now?" Luna asked. POOF! Stuffy came back, but was now Vaas from Far Cry 3. Have I ever told you the definition of Insanity? "I guess not." At least he isn't yelling about having bicycles made out of meat. "And for the next part." Michael Jackson spoke to himself, putting on a red leather jacket. "OH S**T!!!" Deadpool yelled, squealing and jumping like a fan girl. "Are you really-!?" Before he could finish, the opening creaking noise of a door opening, the footsteps, wolf howling, and music began to play. "HOLY MOTHER F**KING TROLL S**T!!! HE'S DOING IT!!!" Every zombie stopped what they were doing and turned to where Michael Jackson stood. The zombies shuffled their way to the group, not stopping to devour the flesh of anyone in front or trembling to the sides. It's close to midnight and something evil's lurking in the dark. Under the moonlight you see a sight that almost stops your heart You try to scream but terror takes the sound before you make it You start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes, You're paralyzed The Author's following the music video! And has improved writing lyrics down. You hear the door slam and realize there's nowhere left to run You feel the cold hand and wonder if you'll ever see the sun You close your eyes and hope that this is just imagination But all the while you hear the creature creepin'up behind You're out of time "We gotta help him out!" Deadpool announced How? They're out to get you, there's demons closing in on every side They will possess you unless you change the number on your dial Now is the time for you and I to cuddle close together All thru the night I'll save you from the terrors on the screen, I'll make you see "The Thriller's almost here. GET EVERYONE READY!!!" Deadpool and Crazy ran ahead. Soon, the Taco squad, Crazy & Stuffy, Vanessa, and Deadpool assembled right behind Michael Jackson. (if you need to know, Weasel sucks at dancing and Blind Al is old, so dancing like this will hurt her.) Stuffy quickly changed and wore a suit. Ahem... Darkness falls across the land, The midnite hour is close at hand, Creatures crawl in search of blood to terrorize y'awl's neighborhood. And whosoever shall be found Without the soul for getting down Must stand and face the hounds of hell, And rot inside a corpse's shell. "That's a great Vincent Price Impersonation!" Deadpool congratulated Thank you, I had practice. Nearly all the zombie are here! "Relax," Vanessa spoke "this is going to go down in history for FimFiction.Net." WHAT THE-!? She took my 4th wall powers. The foulest stench is in the air, The funk of forty thousand years, And grizzly ghouls from every tomb Are closing in to seal your doom. And though you fight to stay alive, Your body starts to shiver. For no mere mortal can resist The evil of the thriller. Everyone else, including Luna stepped back and watched the group of zombies, hip hop artist, and group of maniacs... know what... just skip to the 45 second mark & stop at the 2:52 Enjoy! Before Deadpool and the squad pulled out their weapons, a red blur came out and sliced every zombie's head off! M-m-m-m-monster kill!!! "Hey!" Deadpool yelled "Those were our kills!!!" "Quit being a pussy." a voice replied. "WHAT THE-!? No censorship there!? Who the f**k do you think you are!?" "The guy who isn't a bitch and above you!" Deapool looked up to see a man in a red suit and large, matching hat. "Why are you dressed up as Carmen San Diego?" "Why are you dressed up as Spider-Man?" "I'm not that whinny teenage b***h! I'm Dead-Mother F***ing-Pool!" "Oh! that sounds like the name some 10 year old on Call of Duty would name themselves!" ROASTED!!! Who are you!? "The name's Alucard! And I'm-" "The unoriginal name of Dracula's son!" Deadpool roasted back. "... Oh you cheeky little fucker!" He jumped down and landed in front of Deadpool. "Do you know what I'm capable of?" "I don't know, but do you know what I'M capable of!?" Alucard grabbed him by his throat and lifted him. "Screaming like a little bitch! That's what!" He lunged forward and took a bite out of Deadpool's neck. Deadpool laughed. "Stop that! That tickles!!!" Alucard dropped him. "The fuck!? What the hell is wrong with you!?" His answer came as Deadpool quickly healed in front of him. "Surprise Mutha F***a!" Alucard stared, but smiled. "Well, this should be interesting." "Oh yeah! GARLIC BREAD!!!" Deadpool pulled out a roll of garlic bread and threw it Alucard's face. It hit his face, but fell to the floor. "...Are you retarded?" "Oh... I... aren't you a vampire?" "Yes, but I don't go bleh-bleh-bleh." Deadpool pulled out his Uzis. "Then this should do the trick!" Alucard pulled out twin pistols. "DRAW!!!" GET DOWN!!! Everyone fell to the floor as both Deadpool and Alucard fired at each other, both losing flesh but healing at the same time, though not so much for the homes around them. Both of their guns clicked as they ran out of ammo. Deadpool clicked his gun again and made a beat out of it. "Stop that!" Alucard yelled "Guns aren't going to do this!" "You're right," Deadpool replied, pulling swords out "but these sharp sticks will do the trick!" Alucard took his gloves off and prepared his claws. "Let's do this!!!" "KATANA RAMA!!!" Both the Merc and the vampire lunged at each other, their weapons clashing with each other and looked very much like what you expected in any crazy as hell Anime fight, but with more of a comedic twist as they landed inside Alucard's jet and flew around, though inside, they made themselves a 'what-is-love?' gif with Alucard's assistant as the third man, crashing and burning a forest down, their shadows fighting only for the two to sit down and drink some tea together, and ending with both of them falling into a Bunker where, as you can guess it- "Hydra!?" Deadpool yelled "Again!?" "What the hell is Hydra!?" Alucard asked "Look out!" A hydra soldier yelled in a German accent "Ze Deadpool and Carmen San Diego are here! Schnell!!!" "...Are they Nazis?" "Give or take a few things." Deadpool answered. "...You want to see who's better by killing the most?" "Challenge accepted!!!" Both Deadpool and Alucard charged at the Hydra soldiers, killing them in the most violent ways you can think of as Andrew W. K's 'Party Party Party' played! The two exited the way they came in, the base exploding because- "Because f**k you! That's why!" Deadpool yelled "That's my joke!" Alucard replied "Besides, I killed at 178 of those bastards! You?" "179!" "Bullshit!" "I can make you my 180 if you want!" "In your dreams! I can't die!" "Oh yeah! Twilight!!!" He held up a DVD case of the Twilight Saga movies & books. Alucard hissed at it and destroyed the s**t easily "Don't you dare hold up that shit again!" "Hm, not dead yet, eh? Fine then!" He held up an apple. "Oh, what are you going to do now? Summon a shinigami?" "As much as I would love to summon Ryuk, this will kill you and admit me as the victor. She should be coming in... now!" A hiss was heard, followed by some flapping and some trees rustling. Out from the sky came the one and only, flutterbat! Alucard stared as Flutterbat took the apple away and sucked it's juices out. "What... the... fuck?" he asked. Deadpool picked up Flutterbat. "Meet Flutterbat!" Deadpool answered the calm & not struggling Batpony. "She's more or less an adorable pony mixed with a Vampire fruit bat! She may not suck blood, but she sure is cute! Keep her!" "What!?" Deadpool gave Alucard Flutterbat. He held onto the batpony, looking at it's angered face, but couldn't take it serious due to it's cuteness. "You are... by far... the most CUTEST FUCKING THING EVER!!!" He hugged Flutterbat, making her squeak. "And she squeaks!? She going to be the best assistant ever!!! See ya dick wad! I gotta watch some Netflix on my new 70 inch Flatscreen Plasma T.V!" "Hey! This d**k wad has an 80 inch plasma screen T.V. ... With Netflix!" Alucard froze and turned around. "You... you have a bigger T.V.?" "Oh yeah!" "With Netflix?" "Mm-hm." "And... what sound does it have?" "Surround sound!" "... Oh man, I... I guess I should apologize and... well... I guess you are... better than me." "Really?" "Don't push it!" "...Eh, it'll do! This'll be the best Netflix and chill night ever!!!" Everyone sat down and watched Deadliest Warrior, fluttershy staring at Flutterbat. "So..." Twilight spoke "When do we turn back into ponies?" "Allow me little girl." Michael Jackson spoke. He grabbed his crotch again "OOH!!!" Another blast and everyone turned back to normal. "My work here is done." The ray of light from heaven came and he was taken up again. The children above screamed. "He's coming back!" An angel yelled "HIDE!!!" "Wait!" Deadpool yelled "What about-" The song 'Leave me alone' played as Michael Jackson gave him both middle fingers, both zapping a laser into his eyes and causing his head to explode! M.J. went back and Deadpool's head regrew. "Aw, I wanted to know where his skeleton was so we could repeat the dancing skeleton scene from 'ghosts'. "...makes as much sense as Moonwalker." Alucard commented, rustling Flutterbat's mane. "you're such a cutie!" What are we going to do for Thanksgiving now!? ...I guess... oh... I see what's going to happen. Deadpool put on a pilgrim outfit. "We're gonna hunt ourselves a turkey!" he spoke "Scootaloo, I'm giving you a ten minute head start!" "What!?" The filly yelled "Yeah! Just run and-" He fell face first, snoring. "...Looks like Somepony stayed up past their bed time." Applejack commented. "Find... food... for... natives." "Well so long fuck wads!!!" Alucard took the T.V., Flutterbat, and ran away "WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP!!!"