//------------------------------// // Chapter 9: Diamonds to Ashes // Story: Tiara in the Rough // by Locomotion //------------------------------// Babs' warning turned out to be correct. Even though many of the students had returned home or gone elsewhere for the week, there were a fair number still on the campus, including Nick Shilling and his gang who were still bent on giving Diamond Tiara a hard life. The following morning saw all six of them sinking to a new low, as the pink-furred filly herself was about to discover as she cautiously peeked into the common room. “...seems a bit extreme, doesn't it?” asked the heliotrope one doubtfully. “Not that I've got anything against it, but...” “Ah, give it up, Gold Digger,” scoffed Nick. “Some ponies I can understand, but that Diamond Tiara phoney needs to learn a lesson or two about us proper Manehattanites. Rednecks like her don't belong in a place like this – they should stop littering our streets and buzz off back to the dumpster.” “Too right!” agreed the mauve one. “So – any other stupid questions you might have for me?” Diamond Tiara receded into the shadows. “Yeah, I've got one,” she thought to herself. “Why did I have to wind myself up in this fix?” “I thought so,” she heard Nick saying smugly. “Right, so as soon as we've had breakfast, we're to go round the school, drop the so-called 'hints', and then we go and find that little twerp and let her have it. If we can't talk her into repenting, then we can easily thump it into her.” The pink filly's blood ran cold. First the mockery, then the destruction of her tiara...and now they were going to start beating her up?! She didn't really want to stay at this place, but she couldn't leave either – if she did, there was every chance she might get lost in the city, and then she would really be up to her neck in trouble. But were Nick Shilling and his cronies going to go easy on her just because they were lumbered with her no matter what they did? The simple answer was – no! Nervously, she peered through the doorway again. None of the six ponies had noticed her, but were just making their way out of the common room for the cafeteria – that left her only an hour at the longest before the storm started to roll in over her head. But what exactly were they going to do? And how could she possibly escape them? Overtaken by fear, she burst forth from her hiding place, charged through the doors and galloped across the campus grounds to the nearest building she could find, hoping to goodness that none of those bullies had seen her. Once inside, she darted up the stairs and streaked down the corridor at a tremendous rate, ignoring the startled janitor as she raced past him. About halfway along, she tried the classroom doors, desperately praying that one of them would be open – but by incredible luck, the first one she came to was already open, so without a second thought, she ran inside, slammed the door shut and dived under one of the desk, trembling and sobbing in despair. To think that the same time five months ago, all she had felt was anger and disdain towards everypony in Ponyville, including her own father, for something that was her own fault – now all she felt was homesickness, terror and a crushing sense of guilt for having behaved no better than Lord Tirek and King Sombra put together. She longed more than ever to be back in the warmth and safety of her parents' mansion, for her father and the rest of Ponyville to allow her a second chance, for the Crusaders to overlook her insensitive comments and forgive her... But what hurt even more was the memory of how she had treated Silver Spoon – her only follower, her only supporter...her only friend. The grey filly had provided her with everything she didn't think the Crusaders could, and she had tossed her aside and crushed her heart to tiny pieces just because she had admitted to being a fillyfooler! If Diamond Tiara wasn't in such a horrible state right now, she would have beaten herself to a pulp for that and saved the other students a lot of effort. But why did she feel so enraged with herself? Why was Silver Spoon sticking in her mind? Why did the word “fillyfooler” feel so...wrong? “It wouldn't be a bad thing if you were.” “Yeah, no wonder you can't find yourselves a coltfriend, unlike me! Not that you need one anyway – not if you've got each other!” Diamond Tiara felt worse than ever as those fateful words echoed in her head – embarrassed though she was to admit it, she really did feel something greater than friendship towards Silver Spoon. The pony of her affections had been right under her nose the whole time, and she had simply stomped on her heart just for granting the wholehearted wish she didn't even know she had made. How could she ever forgive herself for that?! “Oh, Silver Spoon,” she wept, “I'm so sorry. Please forgive me.” Babs looked grimly up at the towering structures that made up the boarding school campus. “This is it, everypony – Liberty Hall Prep School,” she announced. “Yup! An' from 'ere,” added Apple Bloom, “our next challenge – try ta find a certain Diamond Tiara somewhere within those buildings.” “Yeah, but what I wanna know is where do we start?” asked Rumble. “It looks to be a pretty big place to me – she could be anywhere.” Locomotion shook his head in mock dismay. “Like I said earlier – it will be a great disaster,” he snarked. “We'll start at the dormitories,” said Babs decisively, blanking out the red-furred teen completely. “Most likely she'll be hangin' out there – but if not, we'll go round the campus with a fine-toothed comb...” “...which won't be difficult for you, considering how big you are on manestyling!” joked Perry. The brown filly scoffed, but humoured her Pegasus friend with a light smirk. “I'm gonna take that as a compliment,” she retorted cheekily. Then, in a more serious tone, she added, “But no matter what happens, I don't want anypony getting lost, so I don't want anypony wandering off without me or Snowflake for an escort. Is that clear?” “Perfectly,” murmured Noi nervously. “Behind you all the way, Babs,” chimed in Groovy Tango. “Okay then, Crusaders...and Loco...and Lickety...and Button...and Silver Spoon – let's move in!” Like generals leading their troops into battle, Babs and Apple Bloom boldly led the group through the school gates and onto the campus. Locomotion and Silver Spoon lagged behind, still in doubt about the outcome. But when at last they reached the dormitory building, the sixteen ponies were disappointed to find the common room completely empty. There was no sign of Diamond Tiara, and not even another student to tell them where she was. “Well, that's annoying,” muttered Tornado Bolt. “Must be somewhere else on the campus.” “You'd think!” huffed Scootaloo, exasperated. “Oh well – we tried, we failed, we might as well pack up and go home.” Locomotion turned to leave, but Snowflake barred his way. “We're not giving up just yet,” she insisted. “Diamond Tiara's somewhere in this school, and we're going to find her, if only for Silver Spoon's sake.” She looked up to her leader; “Well, Babs? Plan B?” “Plan B!” affirmed Babs. “C'mon, ponies, let's go look in the dormitory. She might be there.” But Diamond Tiara wasn't in the dormitory – nor was she in the library, the gym, the laboratory, the workshops or even the cafeteria. No matter where they looked, there was neither hair nor hoofprint of the pink-furred filly. By now, Locomotion was starting to lose patience. “Look, just give over and wasting your time already, guys,” he grunted. “We're never gonna find Diamond Tiara, and even if we do, who's to say she'll be willing to talk to us?” “Stop being so pessimistic, Loco!” ordered Pipsqueak huffily. “We didn't come this far just to throw in the towel, and neither should you!” “Besides, what if Diamond Tiara's in some sort of trouble?” put in Silver Spoon, visibly scared. Locomotion was about to make a snide reply, but grudgingly buttoned his lip when he noticed the fear in Silver Spoon's eyes. “Um...excuse me, Babs,” ventured Annette tentatively, “but can't we just ask a member of staff if they've seen her?” “Fat chance,” replied Babs doubtfully. “Them teachers can't be bothered with showing newbies round – everypony for herself, that's their code round here.” “But surely there must be somepony who cares enough to help?” protested Dinky. “You tell me. As long as Principal Cinch...” “HOLY FIRE AND SMOKE!! Is that who I think it is?!” The Crusaders stopped in their tracks, and noticed a starstruck glimmer in Locomotion's eyes as he gazed down an adjoining hallway. Before they knew it, he had broken away from the group and was trotting towards...whatever it was that had just caught his eye. “Oy! Loco!” shouted Babs. “What did I say about stickin' together?!” But Locomotion wasn't listening. He stopped next to a grey Earth stallion who was in the middle of cleaning graffiti off the wall, and began talking to him in a strange gibberish that none of them could understand. “Uh...beg pardlo, but might I have the trect in the assubrey for Stanley Unwinny?” Perry stared in confusion at Groovy Tango. “What the hay is he on about?” “Dunno,” admitted the blue unicorn. “Sounds kinda crazy to me.” Imagine their surprise when the stallion not only seemed to understand what Locomotion was saying, but responded in the exact same tongue; “Indeedyho. Another disciplode of the Unwinese, I understold?” “You bet! Deep joy to acquaint-it with you, Mr Unwinny, sir, and much huzzah on the Unwinese.” Snowflake was stunned. “What...I...he...how in the world...” “Don't ask me,” muttered Babs, gazing in disbelief. “My sister was at the school for six whole grades, and she could never understand what that janitor was saying – neither could I, come to that.” “Well, no wonder he does!” exclaimed Rumble, suddenly realising who this was. “That's not just a janitor – that's Stanley Unwinny, the comedian!” Babs raised an eyebrow. “You know this guy?” she asked curiously. “Know him?!” chuckled Rumble. “Loco talks about this guy all the time! He's a great fan of Mr Unwinny's nonsense talk – Unwinese, I think he calls it – and even uses it on us sometimes when we're misbehaving or he wants to make us laugh. High Score would know all about that, wouldn't you, Score?” Button Mash cringed. It always freaked him out whenever Locomotion spoke to him in Unwinese. “So anyway,” they heard Locomotion saying, “my friends and I are deep traveload all the way from Ponyville – you understab for Ponyville of that – to pay visitymost to a pinky fillypone with purpy maneload who wears a diamold tiarsky. You follow my meal?” “Ah, ponifold by the name of Diamold Tiarsky! Yes, I catch your dribble.” “So yeah, if possibold, could you give a direct-it on the whereabodes of this fillypone, per chance-it?” Dinky looked knowingly towards Babs. “I couldn't be too sure, but I think he's asking where Diamond Tiara is,” she whispered. “O...kay, this ought to be interesting.” Babs anxiously watched and listened, wondering if maybe this was where everything would go wrong. “Ah, yes – upon the mentionit, I do recorm seeing her earlier. She was in Classrobe G-thrifty-fool, that's back into the main corridrove, lefty turmoil and p'topfa stairloders, then proceed along the hormone for abode fido dorms until, upon right rotatey, you reach the doorstab of the classrobe in questyho. If desiro, I can accompanymost.” “Yeah, could do with it.” “Um...what did he say?” whispered Annette, confused. “Dunno,” said Snowflake gravely, as Stanley and the red-furred railway enthusiast turned and headed back towards them, “but as long as Loco understands, I think we'll be alright.” “Okay, ponies,” announced Locomotion, “I've spoken to Mr Unwinny, and apparently Diamond's in Classroom G53. He's gonna show us where it is.” He looked back to Stanley; “But I should addit, Mr Unwinny, that the Unwinese is the incomprehensibole to these other ponifolders, so best avoidymost when in communicold with them, see?” Stanley nodded in agreement and turned to the rest of the group, assuming a more readable Equestrian dialect. “Yes, you'll have to excuse me, my little ponies,” he apologised earnestly. “I do a lot of work for television, radio and stage performances, and it's mostly to do with my Unwinese, so it's become my primary language – if you follow my meal.” The other ponies chuckled heartily, and even Button Mash managed a small smile. “Nah, that's okay, Mr Unwinny,” laughed Babs. “I gotta hand it to you, that's one wacky language you've thought up there.” “Yes, it's basically just ordinary Equestrian, but kind of minced in a way that sounds comical,” explained Stanley. “I first started thinking it up when, as a lad, I got home and noticed that my mother had had a fall – or 'falolloped', as she put it – and it just went from there. Then one day a friend came by and said very much the same as you did. 'That's a funny language you've thought up,' he said. 'You should do that for a living.' “'I wouldn't want to offend the Equestrian language,' I said; but he insisted that the way I did it would make others laugh, and it would be a shame to let it go to waste. So I gave it a shot, and it became such a success that I started performing Unwinese roles on a regular basis.” “I've seen him and his Unwinese in a number of adverts and movies,” put in Locomotion knowingly. “He even played a few roles in some of Technicolour Tarquin's films – and let me tell you guys, he works wonders with that comical tongue of his!” Silver Spoon was most impressed. “You'll have to instruct us on that someday.” Button Mash groaned and slapped a hoof to his face. “Ugh! Please don't go there, Silver!” he pleaded. “Once that lunatic gets started on the Unwinese, you'll never get him to stop!” “Says the pony who speaks in Humgonian half the time,” teased Locomotion, and the other ponies burst into laughter once again. Button Mash just snorted and rolled his eyes.