//------------------------------// // 11 Hell from above! // Story: The Queen is Dead // by Meep the Changeling //------------------------------// David - 20th of Megan '15 EoH - Late Morning Ah, that special mid-forehead throbbing brought on by the lack of coffee. There was coffee in this world, I know, I had some once. This morning, was a coffee morning. Waking up to discover that Jade had apparently unwittingly carried a legendary Diabolus ex Machina since day one of escaping her hive’s destruction was an eye opener, but no substitute for coffee. I just knew that damn book was going to bring hell down on our heads. The enemy had definitely made a thorough search of the old hive by now, and if that had been something they knew was there, they would assume Jade must have it. Perhaps it’s a bit silly of me to think in literary tropes about life, but they had a weird knack of working one in five times in this world. For instance, the time I walked into an inn and every hushed western movie style until I sat down, then erupted into a low buzzing set of conversations. That creeped me the hell out, and I’d been noticing those odd little moments ever since. This had the hallmarks of one of those things. But… Azur was correct. You can’t simply dispose of a historical relic. Especially not one with mythical powers. The book belonged in a museum. Also working my way through plausible events relating to the enemy and the book was helping me keep my mind from focusing on Azur. The snow white unicorn had gotten rather bored, and decided that this little road trip needed music. I had hoped this mean some kind of radio spell. It did not. Azur had started simply trotting along side me and singing what sounded like a bit from a musical. It wasn’t bad. But he was on his fifteenth song now, and he had gotten more and more exuberant as time had passed. Azur moonwalked backwards, a few meters ahead of me, spinning a full circle with an expertly done twirl, while singing in a way too professional voice. “♪♫ Du kannst tanzen, du kannst swingen, du hast die Zeit deines Lebens; // Schau dieses Stute an, schau dir den Schauplatz an, graben dir die Tanzprinzessin! ♫♪” In the name of all that his holy, why and how did Dancing Queen get here? Whatever was responsible had a shell from Boomstick with it’s name on it! In a move that I would have believed impossible for a quadruped, he dropped to his knees, slid forward and sprang up to offer a hoof for a waltz, only to spin away and drop to all fours while moving on with the next verse. “♪♫ Du bist eine Verlockung, du machst sie an, // Lässt sie brennend zurück und dann bist du weg, // Schaust dich um nach jemanden anderen, jeder würde es tun. ♫♪” Azur sang, prompting Jade to start humming along to the tune. It was no use. Focusing on the possible psychosis of seeing tropes in real life was no match for the worst song ever written! Why did I learn German? Why?! “C-can we take a break please?” I begged, my voice sounding funny due to my ears being pressed flat to my skull. “Nein!” Azur sang, not even missing a single note as he added, “Either you sing or I do!” “You’re joking?” I said, horror stamped on my face. “♪♫ Du bist in der Stimmung für einen Tanz, // und wenn du die Chance bekommst... ♫♪” Azur continued, going for another little spin and somehow not tripping on an exposed root. I took a few milliseconds to weigh my options. “If I sing something, you’ll stop?” I asked hopefully, just to be sure. “Ja!” Azur sang, right between notes. That androgynous song-troll must have taken theater in mage school or something… I sighed, there was no escaping it, today was the day dignity died. “Fine. Just give me a minute to think of a song I’ve heard over here.” I groaned in defeat, thinking of any songs I could recall from taverns. “Oh no you don’t!” Jade scolded playfully from atop the wagon. “You’re gonna do something from your homeland.” “Ooo! Do it! I’ve never heard a diamond dog song before!” Azur exclaimed excitedly. “Oh, hell no!” I shot back. “Using songs from here is bad enough… I’m not disrespecting songs I like by making my voice sing them!” “Oh you can't be that bad!” Jade scoffed with a giggle and knowing grin. “Ninety year old man warbles. Yeah, just how Ozzy wanted his tunes sung.” I shot back. Azur gave me a deeply confused stare, “Was? You’re ninety? There’s no way! Und that’s not even middle aged for a dog!” It wasn't? I blinked, then facepalmed hard enough to hear the slap echo. “Right… that excuse doesn't work anymore…” Crap. That had been a great excuse! “Well,” Azur said with a sly grin, “If you don't sing, I guess I’ll have to.” He opened his mouth to resume the most annoying song ever written. In a blind panic my brain started belting out the first song it could recall. “It's astounding… Time is fleeting, madness takes its toll. But listen closely, not for very much longer. I've got to keep control...” Fuck! Why that one brain? I couldn’t not do it now! It was a rule. I let go of the cart, and readied my dance moves for the first time in… a large time unit. Fast and loud voice time! “I remember doing the Time Warp! Drinking, those moments when, the blackness would hit me, and the void would be calling…” Engage singing! Disengage dignity... “♪♫ Let's do the Time Warp again! ♫♪” In the next five minutes I was delighted to learn that the absurdly good joy of the Rocky Horror Picture Show transcends dimensions. I was also confused to learn that ponies can stand upright for short periods, and replicate the old jump to the left. I could spend hours working out the way their bodies could move like that. I had worked out hooves. This was easily just as intriguing. I filed it away in my ‘to do’ mental pile as I picked myself off the ground from the Warp’s final flop. “Right.” I announced. “That’s that.” Azur got up, ears drooping. “Awww, that’s it?” “That’s it.” I confirmed stepping back over and picking up the cart’s rails. “Sadness…” Jade whined softly from the spot she’d flopped onto. “That was fun. You gotta do another one!” “No.” I grunted. “Now, back on the cart. We need to get out of griffon patrol range.” Everyone climbed aboard. Or rather, Jade climbed aboard. Azur sort of flopped onto the back of the handles, laying against the front of the wagon and somehow suspended by the handles. Not really sure if you can call that ‘aboard’. Thankfully we traveled in silence for a while. I don’t know why I didn’t think to say ‘griffons about’ earlier. I guess I just didn’t want to be a killjoy. It’s rare for me to be around non-mopey old farts. Or at least, it was. It was normal for me to be alone now. I sort of missed talking to myself as I traveled, I made a good conversation partner if I did say so myself. I mean it was nice to have some real company, but it would also be nice if that company would remember we were traveling in ‘don't get stabbed’ mode. Over the course of an hour the forest started to thin out, shortly opening enough to review a huge marshland in front of us. I’d traveled Stalliongrad’s marshes before, they were generally safe if a bit soggy and heaven for all manner of insects. It might slow us down a bit to find a path but we shouldn’t run into any mires or other major hazards. These places had a ton of critters in them too, just like the marsh’s back home. With luck I could catch something for dinner, my jerky stocks were high, but you can only eat dried meat for so long before getting a bit… deprived. I perked my ears forwards as we walked, trying to listen for any birds I knew by their call. I remembered these places being full of ducks. I kept my ears pointed forwards for some time. All I could make out was the creak of the cart, Jade turning the pages of a book, and Azur’s wistful sighs. There should be birdsong, and insect buzzing. Mires are not quiet. Not unless something dangerous is about. Fuck. I stopped the cart. “Everyone, it’s too quiet.” I announced in a calm and quiet manner. “Ja, that’s why I was sing-” Azur paused mid sentence, his ears swiveling, then falling flat “Oh… Ja, das ist beängstigend ruhig… Vater fand mein Kleid ruhig.” Deciding to ignore Azur’s comment about his father for now, I turned around and held out my hand to Jade. “Pass me the binoculars, behind you, to the right, leather bag.” Jade nodded, set down her book and turned, rummaging for a few moments with her magic before holding up the crappy binoculars I’d arrived here with. “Uh, are these them?” she asked. I nodded and took them. After a short pause, I sighed and walked around the back of the cart. I had a bad feeling about this. “I could have gotten more things for you.” Jade informed politely as I slipped my other cloak out from a box. “I know. But I’m getting a few things. This is faster.” I said, quickly switching my green wool cloak for my carefully painted black, brown, and green splotch camouflage one. “Ugh… No offense but that’s hideous.” Azur said in what I assumed was an attempt to critique fashion. “You look much better in the green one.” “Perhaps,” I muttered, digging out the crossbow I had looted yesterday and slinging it over my back. “But the point here is to not be seen.” A few more moments of digging and I pulled my helmet out of the cart. It wasn’t a replica, or one I gotten here. Whatever I had been doing the night I came here, I’d had my old helmet on for it. I’d been grateful for that more than a few times, as the arrow scratches in her olive drab paint proved. I took a second to admire the old girl. I may hate my past, but I loved this old hunk of steel. She’s saved my life four times, all thanks to the red cross painted on the front. Say what you will about the Nazis, their average soldier didn’t shoot at medics. Not till we were pushing them into Berlin at least. I buckled on my helmet, pulled up my cloak’s hood and ordered, “Wait here. I’m going to check this out.” “May I accompany you?” Azur asked. “Tempting… You might have a useful spell, but, no offense, you’re bright white.” I said starting to walk towards the treeline. “Und?” he asked. “I’m trying to remain unseen. Hence, the camouflage.” I sighed. “Don’t you guys have camouflage?” “That’s supposed to be camouflage?” Azur asked in surprise. “Your other cloak is more leaf colored, how’s this one even work! It looks like a painting my mom would blow a half million on!” “The earth tones and blotches break up your outline, making you look like the background from a distance. As opposed to a solid color which is only useful in some circumstances as it won't break up your apparent shape. Or if it’s white, never useful for staying hidden ever.” I pointed out making my way towards a large bush on the edge of the treeline which looked to be a good vantage point. Azur giggled, straight up giggled. “I’m in front of you.” He said, clearly from in front of me, where I couldn’t see a damn thing. I groaned aloud, “... So, you can make things invisible, but-” “Nein, not invisible. I just changed my fur, mane, and eye colors. Now, I match the treebark.” Azur informed. I squinted hard. I took me a full five seconds, but I managed to see his outline. “Damn. Any chance I could learn that?” “Eh… Probably not. I mean, non-natural mages can learn some simple things…” Azur said apologetically before, I think, shaking his head, “It’s not important. Let’s find what’s keeping thing quiet, Ja? Hopefully just a cragodile.” “You mean a crocodile?” I asked. Azur giggled, “Oh please, I’m not that lucky.” I shook my head and moved forward to the bush, kneeling down behind it and taking out my binoculars to start looking across the area. “I’m surprised you have binoculars. I didn’t think you could get those in Stalliongrad.” Azur said conversationally. “You can’t, I got them back home… If you want to ;ll pass them to you in a minute.” I grunted. I would really rather do this myself… Scouting wasn’t something to do lightheartedly. “It’s okay, I don’t need them. Er, do you have a strip of cloth? I need to cover my right eye.” Azur asked. I stopped looking over the grassy marsh and turned in the direction of his voice. “Did you hurt yourself?” “Nein, my left eye is pegasus. If I cover my right eye, the left stops matching the depth of field, und I can do the pegasi thing. Raptor vision.” He answered. “Hold up, your left eye is a pegasus’s? Where did you get a transplant done? That’s beyond impressive!” I exclaimed in honest surprise. “Nein, nein, it’s my own eye.” He said in a clarifying manner, which clarified little. “Ah, so you magicked it into another subspecies?” I asked curiously. I’d always been interested in transgenic research, maybe with magic such things were common here. “Ah… not so much. I could have though. All Germanes are pure pony, a perfect blend of the three tribes… in patches. While I am a unicorn on the outside, inside a third of me is unicorn, a third is pegasus, and a third is earth pony.” He summarized. “Ah, so, eugenics leads to nationwide chimerism, eh? Sounds about right. it’s not like a full understanding of genetics was available when that was tried back home.” I said with a sigh. “If you have any medical needs, I am a doctor and surgeon.” “Actualy ja! I fixed my own problems over the years, und now I’m working to make myself better. Later, could you help me see if I relocated and multiplied some sensory nerves correctly?” Azu asked hopefully. “Sure,” I agreed, starting to look through the binoculars again, “I take it you don't know medicine… You probably shouldn’t experiment on yourself. I can see editing your own biology going very bad.” “I was working from a medical text when I did it. I’m not a dummkopf.” Azur muttered. “Ah… Do you see the willow tree by the big rocks? I think something moved there.” I nodded and moved my binoculars back to look at that spot. “I’m looking now…” The rock pile was rather odd, but definitely old as t had moss covering it. The tree was fairly old too, with ivy running up the trunk. The whole spot sat on a rather large dry patch of the mire too. Large enough to set up a pretty large camp on if you- Hold on a minute. I squinted harder through my binoculars. “Azur, just to the left and above the rocks… Can you see a boxy shape in the background?” Azur shifted position, the rustling leaves seemed unnaturally loud. “Ja… Und I… Ah, there, focused on… Those are tents, covered in grass and things.” “Wait, tents?” I asked. “Ja, um… vier… sechs… nein, sieben. Er, there are seven. I think they are military tents, very square, und the good camouflaging.” Azur reported. Triple fuck! Unless… “You were a guard, does Applewood have any patrols out this far? Or does the-” That’s when a chainmail armored griffon slowly moved from behind the rocks on what was a clear patrol rout. “Ah crapbaskets…” I muttered. “Scheißekugeln.” Azur added. We kept watching for another thirty minutes. By that time it was very clear that we were looking at a large camp of Griffons who were the same ones that were trying to kills us, judging by their heraldry. The camp also just so happened to be a full platoon’s setup. There were at least two score griffons, mostly chainmail clad crossbow and spearmen, but also a scattering of the full plate armor types, and two individuals with gold torcs who Azure assured me were mages. This full force was clearly camped out in the marsh, and had set up a few hidden positions for their archers, and a full trench, which must have been hell given the terrain. They were ready to make sure absolutely nothing passed this point. “So… It’s a fair bet that this is meant to stop us.” I said after Azur and I had finished cataloging everything we could. “Ja. South is the only way we can go, und their scouts could easily have given them our path.” Azur said bitterly. “Well, at least they think we can trounce their scouts without problem. That means we have to worry about them thinking about us like a military unit.” I said with a chuckle. “Why is that funny?” Azur asked bitterly. “They have an army! We can’t fight that.” “Right.” I said with a smile. “But they are treating us like an army. See if we were a military force, that would stop us no problem. We likely couldn’t change course, and we would need to engage the enemy to prevent a counter attack from our flank. “But we are not a military, we are not here to fight the enemy, or take a position. We are trying to escape with our lives. The fact they are treating us like a military, means we have an edge. They are not thinking of what we will do, because we don’t need to fight them.” “Was bist du… I mean, what are you talking about?” Azur asked. “You don’t need to use Equish, I speak German you know.” I said rolling my eyes. “Ja I do! It’s… It’s a neurocy. I need to speak to someone in their own language. It’s rude to assume everyone knows mine.” Azur said in an embarrassed tone. “Ah. Well, in that case… That camp is built to make a military force pause and need to attack it. We are not a military force, we are three guys who just don’t want to die.” I explained. “So since you have that super-camo going, I’ll pass you my knife, and you go cut as much of that mire grass, reeds, and other plants as you can and bring it up to the cart. We camouflage it to look like a giant piece of foliage, and we go the hell around those assholes once the sun goes down a bit.” Azur was dead quiet for a full minute. “Why didn’t I think of that?” He asked curiously. “Because you’re a city guard, not a soldier who's sick of fighting.” I said drawing my Bowie and passing it to him. “Don’t cut yourself.” Jade - 20th of Megan '15 EoH - Twilight “There is no way in Tartarus this is going to work!” I hissed quietly from atop the cart an inside a fake bush. “Shhh!” David and Azur hissed back over the faint creak of the cart. “This looks so fake! It’s taller than the rest of the grasses!” I angry-whispered. “Why can’t we just go like, a half day east then head south?” “Because… I...huh…” David said scratching his chin. “That would be way better than this plan, wouldn’t it?” “Why didn’t you say that when we were camouflaging the cart?” Azur asked, “It’s too late to do that now, we don't want them to find our camp for the evening…” “I said it like a hundred times!” I snapped, barely managing to keep my voice low. “You two were just so eager to be all sneaky you didn’t even bother to ask your sneaking expert!” “Says the bug-girl who forgot to change her hooves!” David hissed defensively. I gave him a good long, back-of-the-head glare. “... Okay, sorry… Look, we sort of have to go through with this now. Do you have any advice?” David asked. “Yes! Don’t cross the marsh just five hundred meters from their camp!” I said quickly. “Only safe path we could find besides the one they were camped on.” Azur pointed out. I groaned and held my head with my hooves. This was a terrible idea! “I don't want to be shot again!” “We’re a quarter of the way across the mire, there’s more forest just a kilometer ahead. We can make that by midnight, and there is no way they will look for us behind them so soon.” David said. Suddenly a low droning buzz began to fill the air. “Huh… Guess the bugs feels safe enough to come out now.” Azur commented. “Sounds more like a B-52 Squadron…” David muttered suspiciously. “There aren't those arm sized mosquitoes around here, are there?” “Nein!” Azur objected, “I wouldn’t move within a week’s walk of those-” “That sounds like a group of changelings.” I commented, taking another second to listen, “Yeah! Hear that little humming whine? Changelings.” “Uh… So, Jade,” David asked in an urgent tone, “Are there any other hives around here besides your own?” “No. Why do y- Oh!” I squeaked, eyes widening to what felt like dinner plates. “Was do you me- Oh!” Azur whimpered. A high pitched shrieking white split the air. David sprinted forwards and dove behind a boulder with a scream of “Cover!” A split second later a flash of bright green light lit the mire up like the sun. A loud boom followed the flash, and I could see dirt fly up into the air over near the griffon’s camp. Another flash and boom, this time I caught the streak of green from the sky as one of the Swarm launched themselves like a living catapult into the camp. “They’re attacking the griffons!” I exclaimed, yelping as a blue nimbus of magic yanked me off the cart. “Nein! They are indiscriminately purging life! Hide!” Azur shouted before bolting under the cart. I quickly scurried under the cart too. The attack seemed to go on forever. The droning of changeling wings became a full roar as what must have been a million circled the entire marsh. The dull explosions of bombarding changelings was inter cut with the scintillating shrieks of spellbolts, and the death screams of forty souls. It’s hard to remember much other than the droning buzzing, dull explosions, and the screams. My mind simply doesn't want to go back to those moments. All I can remember is the terror, and squirming free of Azur’s terrified nearly chitin-crushing hug thirty minutes after the silence came back. I don’t know what possessed me, but I crawled towards the camp in the dead silent air. It took a long time, I moved on my belly, centimeter by centimeter through the freshly blasted loose earth. But I made it. The camp was dirt, ash, and dead bodies. The big pile of rocks was gone, just cooling shards of molten rock. The willow tree ablaze. The bodies killed, and left to rot, not drained like I had been told the Swarm usually did. The entire place had been literally flattened. I made my way back on my hooves. I had to move quickly, my hearts screamed at me to get the buck out of there. The Swarm hadn’t been hunting, they had wanted those griffons deader than physically possible. I saw David slowly getting up as I came running back, Azur was sitting next to him, spooked enough to look even more white. “We need to go!” I yelped. “Yep.” David agreed, voice grim, but shaken. “No, like, they leveled that camp! Literally leveled!” I informed in a panicked squeak. “Ah… Right, all aboard the nope train.” David sighed. “... We’re getting out of here before they come back.” “W-was makes you think they will come back?” Azur asked as he climbed up into the cart. “I saw them chase about fifteen Griffons into the forest we came from. I’m pretty sure they will want to loot and make sure everyone here is dead, since apparently that’s what they were after. I’m not fighting about three hundred fucking Blackhawks with fucking phaser arrays.” David grunted. David grabbed the cart’s handles, I flew up to my favorite box atop it, the sound of my own flight making everyone wince. Including me. We crossed the mire as quickly and quietly as possible. No one said a word. David kept moving in one strait line, putting as much distance between us and the killing field as possible. He moved like a machine, not even slowing down as the moon reached it’s zenith, and my eyes drooped shut.