"Alright... remember..." Lancie murmured into Rainbow's ear as she flew, sailed, and zig-zagged down a series of tight brick hallways. "He's got waaaaaaay more firepower than us, which is bad. But he's also a tiny dragon booger, which is good. I mean... not good for him, but good for us, because we can most certainly capitalize on the weak points of his blatantly juvenile incompetence and—"
"Grnnngh..." Rainbow snorted, her face squinting under sporadic strobes of torchlight as she flew through the castle's bowels. "Why can't I just—like—stick you in a bottle and have you revive me if manure hits the fan?"
"Because you're going to need me more intimately than that, Sparky."
"Ew."
"I mean I can be your shield!" Lancie smirked. "You remember from before, right? If he tries zapping you with the Flame Staff, just put lil' ol' me between you and the incoming blast! My chaos essence will... uhm... reflect his chaos essence... or something." He shrugged. "Panties."
"Huh?"
"Eh, that used to work. Never mind."
"Now's not the time to confuse me with your melon fudgedness."
"Just keep your eyes on the dragon whelp at all times and zoop away when he gets close."
"Right! Zoop-Targeting. Got it." Schiiiing! Rainbow brandished Lancie's little stone body like a masterful sword. "My apologies in advanced for whatever migraines this might give you."
"Hah! My little pony..." Lancie grinned in her grasp. "A migraine would be the cherry on top of this week for me!"
"You're weird."
"No you."
"Shhhh!" Rainbow Dash flitted around a corner. "Go time."
"If you say so."
Rainbow flew straight into the throneroom and skidded to a stop. Frowning, she dragged one hoof and snarled into the torchlit distance of the enormous interior. "Okay, ya little brimstone peewee! You wanna go? Let's—Gaaaaaaaaaaaaiiieeee!" Rainbow flinched, hiding behind Lancie as she weathered an enormous wave of flame and plasma.
PHWOOOOOOOMBBBB!
The floor behind her caught ablaze with burning embers. A tiny swath of untouched brick lingered in a "V"-shape behind the pegasus. Panting, she stood there, holding Lancie's smoldering figure in front of her. With gnashing teeth, she glared over the statue's horns.
"Dude! What the buck? No monologue or nothing?!"
Aatxe stood atop his throne with the Flame Staff outstretched. "What?" His brow furrowed. "You?"
"Dang straight, it's me!"
"Really?" Aatxe pouted like a red-faced infant. "I was expecting the squirrel with goggles." He chuckled out the side of his fanged snout. "Was kinda looking forward to it, too."
"Yeah, well, sorry to disappoint but you're gonna have to duke it out with me inste—"
PHWOOOOOOOOMB!
Rainbow hid behind Lancie again. Once the wave of fire was done, she shouted to the ceiling: "Quit it!"
"Psst! Hey!" Lancie gestured. "Turn me around!" He wriggled his granite rump. "I wanna come out of this with both halves ready to give a promo in the ring!"
"Go away, pony." Aatxe snorted, pacing across the platform above her. "My business here is with the squirrels. It's always been. They're the one thing that's been keeping me back from a full-scale invasion of the Morsel Lands!"
"Well, I've got news for you, ya stinkin' little dipsniffle!" Rainbow's voice cracked. "It was yours truly who got those squirrels to stage this attack in the first place!"
"Pffffft!" Aatxe rolled his eyes. "Yeah right!"
"For realsies!" Rainbow smirked, strafing across the throneroom floor from him. She held Lancie close in front of her. "And guess what?! Unlike last time, I've created a distraction so huge that none of your big brothers are going to come and make things easier for you! This time it's you versus me!"
"And your talking chaos shard."
"Says the baby dragon with—like—a gazillion of them attached to a super metal staff."
"Shuddup! I could have taken you down even without any chaos shards between us!"
"Baby dragons are dumber than what?"
Aatxe blinked. "What?"
"Snkkkt—heeheehee!" Rainbow Dash bucked the ground, giggling.
"Grrrrrr!" Aatxe shook the staff. "Quit DOING that!"
"Heh..." Lancie smirked. "So much for the 'No Dragon Left Behind' Act." He glanced over his stone shoulder. "Hey Sparky! 'Is our whelps learnin'?'"
"Hey! Hey kid!" Rainbow grinned. "Mind showing me where you've got the closet full of lampreys! Cuz something's gotta explain why your flying castle operations sucks so badly!"
"Okay, tone it down, Sparky," Lancie droned. "That was a reach, even for me."
"I'll show you suckage!" Aatxe's voice cracked as he fired a burning red beam from the Flame Staff. However, he aimed it high—so that it bounced off a shield and ricocheted into Rainbow Dash from an angle.
FLASH!
Lancie fell to the ground. He blinked, then turned around—only to double-take. "Jinkies!"
A feathery rooster with a rainbow comb blinked at him. "Ba-COCK!" it warbled.
"Uhhhhhh..."
"Roasting time!" Aatxe flipped and did a trick-shot with the Flame Staff between his stubby legs. "Hah!'
Zaaaaap!
Lancie thought fast, cartwheeled over Rooster Dash, then caught the chaotic blast in mid-air. His body glowed, and he scraped a talon over the bird's comb, producing a bolt a energy between them.
FLASH! Rainbow Dash—again a pegasus—collapsed on her fuzzy chest. Thud! "Fwoof...?" She blinked, cross-eyed.
"Hey! That's cheating!" Aatxe perched on a stone pillar and aimed the staff again. "I'm going to turn all of your blood vessels to cockroaches!"
"Ya hear that, Sparky?!" Lancie tugged and tugged on Rainbow's mane. "Time the cross the road!"
"Grnnghhh... cheese and crackers!" Rainbow cursed, grabbing Lancie and flapping her wings. POW! The brick floor behind her rushing limbs immediately transmogrified into squriming insects.
"Not so fast!" Aatxe fired and fired. "Haugh!" FL-FLASH! "Raaaugh!"
Rainbow darted left and right while chaotic beams of energy flew into various objects around her. A banner morphed into fluttering butterflies. A suit of armor melted like yellow cheese. A chair briefly turned into a grinning black unicorn with vaporous eyes and a curved horn—"CRYSTALLLLSSS"—before instantly being zapped into a stacked tower of Dr. Pony cans.
"Move! Move, Sparky!" Lancie shouted above the noisy blasts. "You're being chased by shark-jumpers!"
"I'm moving!"
"Was this your plan?"
"Kinda sorta."
"Sparky..."
"Just hold on a little longer, Lancie!" Rainbow panted, skirting the edges of the throneroom as the blasts struck closer and closer. "I've got to get him angrier?"
"How is taunting dragon Damian with god powers a good idea?"
"Just trust me—!"
ZAAAAP!
"Gah! That was close! Did he hit me?! What did I turn into this time?!"
"Wow, Rainbow. For a yellow-coated guitar-plucking stallion with a blue mane, you're really handsome!"
"WHAT?!"
"Snkkt—Just kidding! You're fine."
"Grrrrr! Celestia dang it, Lancie—!"
The pillar next to them exploded into party confetti, and Aatxe came through with a heavy swing of his Flame Staff.
"Heeeeeeeeeeeere's Aatxy!"