Trixie and Maud: Heart of Stone

by TheCrimsonDM

Chapter Ninety Nine: Heart to Heart

The barn was awfully quiet as Trixie stared at Applejack. It was warm enough in here that despite having lost her jacket she felt warm.  Applejack must have had the same idea because she wasn’t wearing any winter clothing either. In fact it had been so long since Trixie had seen her cousin naked that she couldn’t help but to stare at Applejack’s little pot belly.

Applejack frowned, and kicked something behind them into the hay. “Trixie, what in tarnation are you doin’ here?”

Shivers ran down the course of Trixie’s spine, a result of fear rather than the temperature. With watery eyes she looked up into Applejack’s warm loving face, and mumbled, “I-I-I was scared.”

Applejack took a few awkward steps toward Trixie and knelt down beside her before wrapping a loving leg around Trixie’s neck. All she could do was shake in her cousin’s protective embrace. Thoughts of what just happened, and had happened the last time Maud was that angry plagued her fearful mind. Frigid spikes of doubt and worry pierced her aching heart. Trixie had to fight with every ounce of her strength to not break down and weep right then and there, though she was losing that battle.

“Sugarcube, tell me what’s wrong,” Applejack said gently. “You know Ah’ll take care of you.”

A lump formed in Trixie’s throat as she attempted to explain what had just happened. Although it was tough, Trixie swallowed that lump and forced herself to speak. “M-Maud got angry at me. She was yelling…” She sniffled. “I ran away before anything happened.”

The determined look that Applejack struck almost scared Trixie. “Ah darn well knew sump’n was off when you went to the hospital. Has Maud hurt you?”

Trixie shook her head shakily. “N-no. She only hurt me that once, and that was an accident…”

“But yer afraid it could happen again, aren’t you?”

Trixie could only nod as the tears flowed down her face. She couldn’t help but to lean forward and rub her damp cheeks against Applejack’s strong muscular neck, and cry into her cousin’s shoulder. Like a true apple, Applejack held the weeping unicorn in a strong but loving embrace while Trixie worked all of her fear, shame, and doubt out through her tears.

When Trixie had finally calmed down enough that her weeping had broken down into the occasional sob, Applejack gently pushed Trixie’s head back and grabbed her attention. “Sugarcube, Ah’ll keep you safe. If you want, we can go an’ talk to Maud. Or you can stay here for a bit. It’s yer choice.”

“I-I need to go back to her,” Trixie said. After all, I’m… I’m sure she didn’t mean to scare me that much.

“Ah’ll go with you. Ah ain’t gonna let her do this to you a second time,” Applejack said. “But before we go, it might be a bit helpful if you tell me exactly what happened?”

Trixie sniffled and wiped her muzzle with a foreleg. “I was trying to talk to her about how we aren’t good for Valiant. Valiant needs a good, stable home… like yours.”

Applejack frowned. “Trixie, no. Maybe if you would’ve asked a few months ago, but now Ah just can’t take in a new filly. Ah’m sorry.”

“That’s okay… I’ll figure something out.”

“Anyway, continue with yer story,” Applejack said.

“Maud got angry, she thought I was trying to put down her parenting skills… and she yelled at me. I got scared and I ran away,” Trixie said.

“Are you sure that’s the whole story?” Applejack asked.

“Mhm,” Trixie said with a nod. She stayed quiet for a moment, and added, “Maybe I overreacted?”

“No she overreacted. But Ah’m sure she didn’t mean to scare you. We can talk this out, and fix it,” Applejack said. “But if she ever hurts you, don’t hesitate to tell me. Okay?”

Trixie nodded. “You’ll be the first to know.”

“Good now we c-“ Applejack began, but stopped short as the barn door quickly slammed shut.

The barn door slammed shut, and as deft silence covered the room, the sound of small hooves hurriedly crunching in the snow outside became clear as day. Both Applejack and Trixie sat in complete silence for a very long moment before Applejack spat to the side. “Applebloom’s in for it this time.”

Trixie frowned. She looked around and realized that there was something she could do here. She reached out with her mind and felt two bright, colorful, and energetic young minds. Fear and excitement covered them, and Trixie could also make out bits of confusion strung through both.

To her surprise it was actually really easy for her play with the minds, and all she had to do was implant one little command. Return to Applejack and apologize now.

A wicked grin spread across Trixie’s lips as she felt the two stop dead center, turn around and approach. Trixie let go of their minds as soon as she heard the barn door open. Applebloom and Scootaloo walked inside and shut the door behind them. They both looked up at Applejack with big round puppy dog eyes.

In unison they both said, “I’m sorry.”

Applejack stared at them, and then at Trixie. Trixie simply smiled, and a sudden wave of exhaustion washed over her. She shook her head to clear herself of it.

“Y’all are in trouble for spying on us,” Applejack said. She waited for a moment allowing the two to start fidgeting in place. Applejack quickly tossed on a brown leather duster, the jacket was just a little too big for her, but it matched her hat fairly well. “Y’all can’t tell anypony about this you hear?”

“Yes,” They said lamely.

Scootaloo took a quick and very nervous glance at Trixie’s wings. “So… does that make you a princess now?”

Trixie looked at her wings. “I haven’t decided if I actually want to be one yet.”

“But why not?” Applebloom asked.

“Yeah, you could live in a castle and have servants, and go on adventures, and eat all the sweets you want,” Scootaloo said excitedly.

“Yes, but what about the responsibility?” Trixie asked the filly.

The filly stood in silence for a bit, her eyes narrowed on the floor while biting her lip. “Oh!” She said with a small jump. “You would also have to make laws, and fight monsters, and decide things for ponies… wouldn’t you?”

“Yes, if I was a princess that would make me responsible for taking care of all the ponies around me,” Trixie said.

“It would be bad to have you as a princess then. I mean you did try and ki-“ Scootaloo stopped short as Applebloom shoved a hoof into her friends mouth.

Applebloom smiled nervously. “Kick us out of ponyville. That’s what she was going to say. Um, and we forgave you a long time ago for that. You would make a great princess, you know, if you wanted to be one. Haha…”

Trixie forced a smile for the two of them. Even these fillies know about my suicide attempt… well at least Applebloom is being nice about it.

Applejack began pushing the two fillies towards the door. “Alright, you two. Time to go. An’ don’t forget, don’t go tellin’ nopony about what you saw in here today.”

A little while later, and with a brown leather duster that dragged along the ground behind her, Trixie made her way home. Alongside her walked Applejack, as both a valiant guardian and a good friend. The roads had yet to be cleared from the last snow, and so the pair found themselves crunching along on their way to town. it did raise the question in Trixie’s mind though, where did this snow come from?

A bright pink pony, wrapped up tightly in a yellow jacket came bouncing at them in almost furious speeds. Trixie flinched just as Pinkie halted mid air in front of them. For whatever possible reason Pinkie Pie floated for a few seconds before falling back to earth.

“Trixie! You’re okay!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed. “All I could do was track your energy, considering the fact that mind reading isn’t working today… again. So here I was thinking, why is Maud shouting at Trixie, and then I thought, oh no she’s running away, and then I thought, wow Trixie completely vanished, and then I thought, poor Maud she’s crying now, and then I convinced Maud that I would find you, and she stopped crying and,” Pinkie stopped just long enough to inhale deeply. “Anyway, I came to find you and here you are! So… do you wanna talk?”

Trixie simply stared at her for a moment, her mind still trying to cope with the fact that Pinkie could apparently levitate. Then Pinkie Pie reached behind her, and pulled out a gift box wrapped up in pink wrapping paper. Pinkie Pie smiled. “Here you go, Trixie.”

Trixie stared blankly at Pinkie Pie. Where did that gift come from? It’s not like she’s wearing any saddlebags… did she… ugh. Next she’s going to pull out a sofa from her butt and fall on it dramatically.

“Trixie,” Pinkie Pie said as she pushed the gift into Trixie’s chest. “Trust me it will make a lot of sense.”

Despite the insanity of defying gravity and pulling things from quite literally nowhere, Trixie took the gift and began unwrapping it. She wasn’t entirely sure what Pinkie had said, since her words had sort of exploded out of her mouth, but Trixie ignored her curiosity for the moment and focused on the gift.

A small gray book was nestled inside, the writing on it’s surface was blue.

“Um, Pinkie Pie, I don’t think it’s okay for you to give me this… it’s not mine, or yours for that matter,” Trixie said.

“Oh don’t worry about that. Just put it back where I got it when you’re done and Maud won’t ever notice. I do it all the time,” Pinkie Pie said.

“Pinkie, that’s invasion of Maud's privacy. That's wrong,” Applejack said.
 
“So is kissing your baby sister, and eating whipped cream out of her is even worse, but she did that anyway,” Pinkie Pie replied bitterly. She flashed an even bigger smile at Applejack.

Applejack’s jaw hit the snow covered earth.

“But, you know what isn’t a bad thing to do?” Pinkie Pie asked, while blinking rapidly.

“W-what?” Applejack asked, she had every right to be nervous now.

“Commenting on just how beautiful your looking today, seriously Applejack… I’m proud of you,” Pinkie Pie said.

“Ya’ll readin’ mah mind again?” Applejack asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Nope, but I can sense ponies, and their emotions, remember. I just want you to know, that you are the best, and I fully support you,” Pinkie Pie said. “Also, when you're ready, I will totally throw you two a huge party!”

Applejack took a step back. “Ah don’t know what yer talkin’ about.” She looked down at Trixie who was still holding the coveted book. “Yer gonna take her home, and take care of her, right? No more slacking off on yer job?”

Pinkie’s ears drooped a little. “I promise. I know I’ve been lazy, but I’ll take good care of Trixie now.”

Trixie looked up at the two. “What are you talking about?”

“Yer still on watch,” Applejack answered.

“Oh…”

Pinkie Pie jumped in and said, “Okay, time to go see Maud before she starts crying again. Hide that book so she doesn’t take it from you.”

Just as Pinkie Pie began bouncing away, Trixie hurriedly shoved the book into one of the jacket’s deep pockets and hurried after her. Applejack waved goodbye and trotted back towards her farm.

Sometimes Trixie wished she knew what was going on in the mind of her favorite pink pony, but most of the time, she really, really didn’t want to know. Other times she was just confused by everything that Pinkie Pie did or said. Right now was one of the latter, though Trixie noticed something about Pinkie’s yellow sweater, something a bit off. On either side of her flanks, was a stitched in pink butterfly. That along with Pinkie’s overly joyful attitude, gave Trixie the idea that maybe something good had happened to her. Trixie could only hope so.

When they got back home, Pinkie asked Trixie to wait on the front porch while she had a private word with Maud. A few slow minutes passed by leaving Trixie to stare out at the snow covered earth, the storm clouds gathering overhead yet again, and the slight chill that blew through the air.

Things were just as desolate and dark as they had been once before. She could feel the darkness within and on the horizon an even greater darkness was waiting to swoop in and ruin everything. A thought trickled into her mind, and pooled together into an idea that she had so wished would just go away.

Are we going to survive this? Or is my relationship with Maud going to end in complete disaster?

Pinkie walked out from the doorway, Maud following at her fetlocks. For a brief moment Maud’s eyes met with Trixie's, and then they both looked away. The frown on Pinkie’s face showed her disdain for this situation.

“You two need to make up, okay?” Pinkie said.

Maud stepped forward. “I…”

Trixie shook her head. “Pinkie is right, we need to talk about a few things.” She patted to an empty spot next to her. “Come and sit by me.”

Maud walked over slowly and slumped down next to Trixie. Now that she was this close, Trixie could see the red at the edges of her lover’s eyes. Yet again, Trixie had made Maud cry. Did anything else ever make Maud cry? Trixie really didn’t know if there was.

“Maud, I-I know I… I must have said something wrong, I didn’t mean too. I’m sure that you’ll make a wonderful mother… but I don’t think I will,” Trixie said, staring at the clouds as snowflakes fell from the heavens above. “You see, my mom slowly went crazy, and I had to witness that growing up. I don’t want to put that onto another pony, I never want to be the one responsible for hurting a filly like that.”

“It’s because you went through all that, that I believe you will make a much better mother than me,” Maud said flatly. “I know that there are things you want to know about me… about my past.  But I’m not ready to share them yet.”

“I understand that,” Trixie said. She couldn’t help but cringe, and fight the rising pain in her chest, and the stinging at her eyes. It’s just not fair that I share everything with you, absolutely everything, and yet you can’t trust me with your past…

“I know you’re scared of me,” Maud said. “I can see it on your face, and in your movements whenever I get even a little bit angry. I never meant to hurt you… I never wanted to do that again.”

“It was an accident,” Trixie said more to herself then to Maud.

A moment of deep silence followed that, only broken by a slight choking noise that Trixie couldn’t help making. She just wanted to give up and cry, but she refused to break down just yet.

“Maybe…” Maud said. “…it wasn’t an accident.”

Trixie’s eyes shot wide open, and a few tears rolled down her face. She looked over at Maud and examined the flat expression Maud had as she stared at the sky above.

“I was so angry at you, for ruining what I thought was perfect. For betraying me, and destroying my trust. I was just so angry, Trixie. You were my little Lulu, heh, you were my innocent little thing that I could take care of, I could protect you from anything, and you would love me unconditionally and forever,” Maud said. “I think that I was just filling a hole in my heart, one that will never heal properly.

“So when you betrayed me like that… it made me so very angry. But you know it wasn’t entirely your fault. With the foursome, and the things I asked Pinkie Pie to do for me while I was gone… I must have given you the opinion that I didn’t care if you had sex with somepony else. In truth, I partially thought that it would be okay so long as you loved me, and only me… I was wrong.”

Maud looked over into Trixie’s eyes. “I’m sorry for what I did. But here’s the honest truth. I want you to myself, Lulu. I don’t want to share you with anypony else. I want to be the only one to feel your love… even if it hurts me to be so close to you sometimes, I know it only hurts because I love you so very much… how could something hurt so badly, if you don’t love just as much?”

Trixie blinked the tears out of her eyes and sniffled. I don’t think I’ve ever heard her talk so much before… and so honestly too…

“Maud, I love you,” Trixie said.

“But you're still scared of me,” Maud stated.

“I’ll get better, I promise,” Trixie said.

“I know, but it’s going to take a long time… I’ve been thinking, maybe… maybe we should take couples therapy?” Maud suggested.

Trixie wiped the duster covered foreleg across  her face, in an attempt to get rid of the tears. “You know that if you did that, you will have to share your secrets with me.”

Maud looked away. “I don’t want to be mad at you anymore. Lulu, you hurt me badly… and even if I have to let you in again, and let you in deeper than ever before… if it will stop me from being so angry at what you’ve done, I’ll do what it takes.”

Now it was Trixie’s turn to look away. The sky was a beautiful shade of orange, the sun was getting low, and promising to let the stars shine brightly tonight. “All I want to do is grow old and watch the stars with you. To make a family, one where you and me can live together in peace and raise a foal together. Magic shows, teaching, even being a princess is all secondary to that.”

“I feel the same,” Maud said.

With a foreleg outstretched, Trixie wrapped herself around Maud’s body and laid her head down against Maud’s shoulder. “I’m sorry that I’ve put you through so much grief.”

“I’m sorry that I’ve hurt you,” Maud said.

“Can we watch the stars tonight?”

“Yes we can, but we should have Valiant join us. It would mean a lot to her,” Maud said.

“About her…”

“We’ll discuss that later,” Maud said.

Trixie snuggled a little closer, and breathed in Maud’s earthy scent. She exhaled deeply and smiled softly. I love this mare.

A few hours later Trixie lay on the front porch on top of a blanket. Maud was near her, with Valiant Heart squeezed in between them. Pinkie Pie sat on the other side of the porch staring up at the night sky. The stars twinkled up above from spaces between the snow clouds, and the moon shone its brilliance across Ponyville that night.

Valiant stared up at Maud with a happy smile, and nuzzled her side once every little while. Trixie smiled down at the little filly, but couldn’t focus on her for too long as she couldn’t help but to stare at Maud.

“Do you remember that night you proposed to me?” Trixie asked.

“Yes. It was beautiful,” Maud replied. “We’ll be getting married soon.”

“I am making sure it’s private,” Trixie said. “I don’t want anypony showing up out of the blue…”

“But Rainbow Dash is blue,” Pinkie Pie said. “So are you.”

Trixie shook her head at the pony standing so far away from them. “Pinkie, if you want to join us you're very much welcome to. Your part of the family too.”

Pinkie Pie’s bright smile seemed to light up the world around them as she made her way over to the blanket and took a spot next to Maud. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to intrude…”

“You and Applejack are family,” Trixie said.

“Yeah… it’s still a little awkward to think about,” Pinkie Pie said. “I mean you used to be… well, you were kinda like a villain. And now you're on our side and your friends with us. It’s really nice.”

“Pinkie,” Maud warned.

“It’s okay, honey. She’s right. It is a bit weird that I’m here now, and that I’m friends with twilight, and the others… Sometimes it’s just a bit surreal. Though I do want to make two things clear,” Trixie said. “One, I am not by any means on anypony’s side. The only side I’m on is mine, and Maud’s. If it came down to it, I’m taking care of us first.” Trixie looked down at Valiant and saw a sad look on the fillies face. “And two, Valiant’s…”

Maud nodded.

“We’re both on her side too. So I guess that actually makes her priority number one,” Trixie said.

Maud and Valiant both smiled.

“Trixie,” Pinkie Pie said. “I have a serious question… if you don’t mind.”

A nervous Pinkie Pie was never a good Pinkie Pie. Trixie let out a sigh, full well knowing that whatever Pinkie was about to ask was not going to be good. “Yes, Pinkie.”

“If you ever had to betray us again, like what you did to Twilight… Would you?” Pinkie Pie asked. “I mean normally I’d use my mind reading powers and just find out, but… you know, they're kinda broken right now.”

Trixie didn’t answer right away, choosing to be silent and think on it for a moment. I feel terrible for what I did to Twilight Sparkle. But do I feel bad enough to never do it again? I don’t know. If Maud was in trouble or something, I’d betray all six of you in a heartbeat… well maybe not Pinkie Pie. But still, could I betray them ever again?

Trixie dug deep for the answer but came up empty. She wouldn’t know the answer to that question until she crossed that bridge. For now she could only say, “I don’t know, Pinkie.”

The last of the stars were blocked out by the clouds as the snow increased. As the moon’s light vanished from Ponyville, Trixie could feel an incredible sense of dread coming over her. It was time to go back inside, to the light and heat of the hearth. It was time to turn in for the night, and tomorrow, tomorrow would be a brand new day.