Silver awoke the next day to find an ornate book laid neatly on top of her. She lifted it in her magic and looked it over carefully. Inside was a note.
Good morning, Silver Stars,
I didn't want to wake you up, nor could I stay longer, but here is that book we discussed. Please use it to hold all of your magic. I'm sorry I can't undo what was destroyed, we've done quite enough of defying that particular law, but I hope you find delight in learning new things, and perhaps approaching old problems from a new angle. I have included a spell for you, one that your friend, Twilight Sparkle, insisted upon, should you ever gain the urge to require it. I would have included this note in the book itself, but thought it should be kept to your own writing as much as possible. At least this spell was of your own design.
You are loved as you are, and will be,
Princess Celestia
Silver brought a hoof to her head. "Why didn't I think of that?"
Twilight sat up beside her with a yawn. "Think of what?"
Silver smiled as she leaned in and nuzzled her gently. "I had some of my spells written down, copied into archives. I should go fetch them all. My first spell! It's not lost at all, it's just stored away safely. I'll have my fire ball back."
Twilight made a wince. "Are you sure you want a fire ball?"
Silver thought it through, then frowned. "The spell didn't burn me... Just because of... that, doesn't mean I should throw away all fire spells." She opened the book and found the first page was not a spell, as she had thought, instead something even more useful. It folded out into a reference guide, showing the unicorn alphabet. "Twilight, how did I fail?"
Night stirred and pushed up. "What? Fail?"
Twilight glanced between Night and Silver. "Fail what, Silver?"
Silver pointed at the guide. "Didn't I hear I was trying to escape? Did it overpower me?"
Twilight clopped her hooves almost nervously. "Well, you see... I was pretty sure I felt a miscast spell..."
Silver snorted softly. "I probably panicked, played the wrong letter... Enough of that." She slipped from bed suddenly, holding her book in her magic. "I won't casually accept this weakness anymore!"
Twilight slipped after her. "What do you mean? What do you plan to do?"
Silver wheeled on Twilight. "What every unicorn foal is expected to do! I'm going to memorize this alphabet. It's going to become a part of me, so I'm not thinking which one is which, it'll just come naturally. Kill me once, shame on you, kill me twice, well, I obviously deserved it at that point."
Night pointed at Silver's tail. "I apologize for breaking this inspirational moment, but who were you with, and are you feeling better?"
Silver went red instantly. How could she answer that?! "Oh, uh..." The truth, of course... "Me and Rough Tumble... He really does love me, as a mare or a stallion. A sweet stallion he is."
Night nodded lightly. "That's good, and... you liked it?"
Silver clenched her teeth, which was apparently enough for Night. "You don't have to... Silver, was this your idea?"
Twilight tried to catch up with the subtle messages. "Wait, what? What's going on?"
Sliver quietly set her book aside, the guide folded neatly in the first page. "It was my idea. I wanted to see what everypony else saw clearly. I wanted to love this thing that my wives loved, that the princesses loved."
Twilight tilted her head. "Did it work?"
Silver lowered her head a little. "No... You brought most of me to life, and I'm eternally grateful, but I'm still dead there... All I felt was the mild pain of him pushing and working, and soreness afterwards. It was about as... stimulating as watching a wall, except for the closeness of it. I liked that. I liked holding him... But what we did... I never felt more dead."
Twilight and Night closed in with her from either side, and Silver relaxed in their shared warmth and softness. She thanked the powers that be that she could enjoy a good snuggle. A world without the pleasure of the closeness of her loved ones... At least there was still joy in her life. She smiled gently and nuzzled the two of them. "Enough of that. I'm going to get to learning, and try this spell Celestia left for me."
"What spell?" Night leaned over Silver's shoulder, trying to look at the book, though it was closed.
Twilight's magic tried to slide in under Silver's and Silver tugged back. "She said it was one I made. How many spells did I make? I can't wait to see which one it is! Now you two need to finish waking up, and tend to the foals. I did their morning routine yesterday."
That got them moving, and soon Silver was left alone to pull open the book and consult the guide. She'd start the memorizing later. She wanted to try the spell right then and there! She flipped between the guide and the spell, practicing each letter in turn until she felt ready, then played it all together in a smooth song of magic. The energy rushed through her, and she felt something new and heavy settle into place. It struck her which spell it was and her blush returned. She looked under her carriage to see a stallion's organs facing her. "Celestia... Why this?" She sat down and stared at herself. Did it have more feeling than she had as a mare? She gave it a light prod. No, that didn't feel especially interesting, though perhaps she wasn't doing it right...
A soft knocking came only moments before Cadance trotted in lightly. "I hear you're awake, Silver?"
Silver and Cadance met eyes, but Cadance's eyes wandered down to Silver's extra bits. "Oh! Is this a bad time?"
Silver flushed with embarrassment, but felt no immediate attraction to Cadance, even if she was pretty, and a mare. Silver sighed internally, she was no stallion. "No, please. This is Celestia's little joke of the day."
Cadance smiled brightly. "Auntie does have quite a sense of humor, but this? Curious." She kicked the door shut behind herself and trotted up to Silver, circling her. "How are you feeling today?"
Silver considered. "May I be fully honest?"
Cadance nodded as she sat beside Silver. "You can, and you should. I'm not here to judge, Silver."
Silver smiled, with a timidness that showed easily. "Alright... I feel a lot of things. I want to grow, so I don't repeat the same mistake twice, but I feel like I'm failing my family by being..." She rolled a hoof. "Dead."
Cadance tilted her head. "You appear very alive to me, and while you are alive, well, things can change."
Silver's smile became more genuine. Things can change... "Of course... I tried to change them last night, but it just made it so obvious how broken I am."
Cadance hiked a brow. "What did you try?"
Silver rubbed her forehooves before she sat up, standing on her hooves. "Rough Tumble. He tried to make love to me, but I felt nothing... It wasn't his fault, I think. He did what a stallion does."
Cadance flicked her ears back. "Oh Silver, you didn't tell him that, I hope?"
Silver quickly shook her head. "Oh no! No... I told him he did very well, and we hugged and kissed. I don't think he noticed..." Silver turned to Cadance. "I'm surrounded by ponies that want to do things like this, to physically prove their love beyond hugging. I still don't understand why, but when I try, it's..."
Cadance shook her head. "Don't allow yourself to be forced, even by yourself. You will grow from this at your own rate. Now, tell me, how does this feel?" She leaned in slowly and Silver allowed her. Cadance gently kissed Silver on the cheek and drew back to a smiling Silver.
"That was perfectly lovely. It felt like you cared about me, and wanted to show it." Silver leaned in and returned the gesture. "And I agree."
Cadance ruffled her wings as she considered. "You know, and feel, what love is, I'm sure of it. You're not dead, Silver, anymore than a pony with a broken leg is 'dead'."
Silver gestured to a window. "Watching other horses dance and gallop past, it still feels that way, does it not?"
Cadance gently brushed Silver's mane and neck with a hoof. "I didn't mean to make it sound like it's nothing. I'm quite certain it's terrible, and I'm here to help. But that term? It has to go. Calling yourself dead is just magnifying things. Now, I want to try something... But before I do, I need your permission."
Silver perked her ears before it clicked. "You're going to love blast me?"
Cadance smiled gently. "If you allow me. If not, then I won't, simple as that."
Silver squirmed. "I don't want to string along my mates, making them think I'm about to do something, just for it not to work."
Cadance gestured at herself. "Then we'll keep it between us. We won't be doing anything untoward anyway, just some kissy faces."
It was settled, and Cadance reached with her magic, tying the two together. Not with a thread that wasn't there, that was beyond her for longer than a few seconds at most. She took the thread that already wove them together and sent her pink magic surging through it, and the two felt overwhelming adoration, love, and, at least on Cadance's side, passion.
Feeling the urge to be much closer, Cadance leaned in towards Silver, and they met in a gentle nuzzling. Nothing else felt important than the other of their couple. "Cadance..."
Cadance kissed across Silver's face. "Yes?"
"I love you." Silver shuffled forward and hugged her. "I've loved you a long time, like some goddess I could never reach. You're so far away, and married, and even pregnant."
Cadance hugged Silver back tightly. "And yet, we are bound." She pressed lips to lips. Silver tried to match her passion, but it wasn't in her, she could only allow Cadance to take charge, to kiss Silver with a fiery urgency that Silver felt so jealous of at the moment. "Don't be sad. I only need one husband, but we are still bound."
Silver nuzzled under her chin. "I think it might be the magic talking a little. You... You make me feel safe. You've never tried to stab me, not even on accident, but you're right. You're... absolutely right." She turned away from Cadance. "I won't try to take you away from Shining. You love him, and he loves you." In ways she couldn't even envision, or so she bitterly thought to herself. "But we'll be friends?"
"Forever." Cadance pushed her over and sank on top of her, hugging and snuggling her prone form. "Now I want you to focus a little. Focus on what you feel for me. Forget if it's appropriate or not, just focus on it. Let it... Let it be like a magnifying glass in front of the sun. Let it burn for you."
Silver tried to obey, to feel. She could feel a soft panging desire. She wanted to feel that passion. She hurt trying to feel. She had to giggle at how ridiculous it seemed to hurt trying to feel. "Cadance... I want to want. I want to... I'm so angry right now that I don't feel what others are feeling. I want you! I want you more than hugging, but I can't even wrap my head around how." Silver twisted around to be belly to belly with her and hugged tightly, panting against her pink fur.
Cadance gently rubbed noses with the hurting alicorn. "I can feel it. You're so very close. You're doing well. You're not broken. You're not wrong. You--"
Silver tried to kiss. She was mashing into Cadance awkwardly a moment before she drew back and snorted. "I have the right parts, why aren't we already doing something?" She thought back to the night before. Surely she could do what Rough Tumble did? She rolled, trying to get on top of Cadance, but Cadance was stronger.
Cadance kept Silver pinned down gently. "No, we're not here for that. Please, look at me. In my eyes." Silver slowly met her gaze, smoldering as it was with unbridled passion. "I want you to be happy, first believe that."
Silver bobbed her head quickly. "Of course! You're wonderful... Why wouldn't you want that?"
Cadance smiled gently, writing off some of it to her mind-altering magic. She reached into that thread that bound them. "I'm going to cut it off, then push it through harder. I want you to close your eyes now, and try to feel the difference. I think that passion is still there, just very small."
Silver didn't want to close her eyes. She wanted to get lost in Cadance's presence. Through an act of will, she forced herself despite those desires, closing her eyes and panting loudly. "Ready." Then it all went away. She felt so cold... She felt... There was that word again. She felt dead. She felt alone. She felt awful. There was nothing, not even what little she had before. That pony laying on her was bothering her. She couldn't breathe and she was miserable.
Something changed. The pony on top of her wasn't so bad. No, she was wonderful. She wanted her closer. Silver reached for her and pulled at her as warmth rushed into her body, forcing its way through her thick veins despite herself. She was alive! She was... She was confused. Oh, it was gone again. She cried out in agony. She was all alone, just that merciless pony crushing her under itself. She cried bitterly. Why was everything so painful?
"Silver..." Cadance couldn't stand seeing the extreme emotional states the toggled flow created in Silver. She considered just letting loose with her all, turning her magic up beyond what she normally used. She'd either break Silver free of her fugue, or possibly hurt her terribly. No... Cadance kissed Silver's cheek as she carefully nudged their love balance back into order. "Silver, that's enough for now. You did well." They laid together as Silver recovered from the trying regimen, until she felt strong enough to slip out from underneath Cadance.
"I'm sorry for some of the things I said."
Cadance held up a hoof. "You were being bathed in love magic. You're going to say silly things."
Silver smiled. "You're too kind. How did I get a friend like you? Equestria is so lucky to have you."
Cadance blushed gently. "You do know I began as just a pegasus, do you not? I might have become a princess, but I'm not the biggest, or the best. I'm just me, and that's enough." She reached with a wing and gently brushed along Silver's snout. "I'll be here for a few days, to help. You're not alone, Silver. You're so very not alone."
Silver let out a little sigh when Cadance left. That was productive, or so she hoped. She got to waking up. She showered, dried, brushed herself, and got dressed in a nice dress that covered herself, and her new bits. She briefly considered banishing it, but the urge died. It didn't matter much what she had between her legs. It was all dead. She could still study, and be a mother. With a determined look she trotted from the room with her book held firmly in her magic.
There was another pony waiting for her, one she had a hard time placing. She stared at the large black mare blankly.
"I've already been appraised of the situation, sir." The mare tilted her head slightly. "I will reintroduce myself. I am Fiddah, one of your servants."
Silver raised a hoof. "I thought it wasn't legal to own ponies in Equestria."
She smiled, a flash of bright white against the black of her body. "You accepted me from a king. There are political factors. Regardless, I am your servant, and I try to keep things organized, with yourself and your lovers and avoid 'complications', especially with your other servants. Now I'm given to believe you tried to dismiss Shei Windsong. We won't have that. She's yours, and she wants to be yours. You hurt her feelings badly, and I don't think you're the kind of pony that wants to do that."
Silver gave a slow nod. "Well, no. I wasn't trying to hurt her feelings, of course not." Silver frowned a little. "Does that mean she expects..."
Fiddah shook her head. "She expects to be your servant, and to be owned, and appreciated, and even loved. She wants to be a treasured possession, admired and held in high value. I've been made aware of your... disability. That's fine. Just remind her she's doing well and how much you appreciate her presence. A little hug and nuzzle will go a long way. You don't have to breed her. You are a mare, after all."
Silver gave a little giggle. She wasn't all mare at the moment, but it hardly mattered. "Right. I'll do that, but what about you?" Silver looked Fiddah over slowly. "What will make you happy? I forgot you even existed until now, and I feel terrible for that. We obviously have some history together."
Fiddah snorted gently. "I understand the situation. It is my job, as your servant, to accept and accommodate you in your time of need. You haven't hurt me. The situation is undesirable, and should be remedied as soon as possible, but I'm told you already agree with that, do you not?" Silver nodded quickly. "So we are in perfect agreement. Now go fetch some breakfast. There remains some in the dining hall." Silver moved to walk past her. "And, sir?" Silver stopped and looked over her shoulder. "Welcome back, sir." Fiddah trotted off with her tail swaying, and Silver was left mildly confused, but feeling happy she had such a dependable servant around, even if she wasn't much a 'sir' at the moment.