Silver worked a little more 'briskly' than she had to, stewing with a bit of indignation. She was doing what she was supposed to do... Why was everypony talking to her like she was defective? She looked into the boiling water as she gave it a little stir. Did they want her to be a horny stud again?
"No, that isn't it." Cadance stepped in quietly beside her.
Silver jumped with surprise. Did she say that out loud? "Oh, hello Cadance." She smiled gently. Cadance had always been a source of good news and empathy. "How are you? It's been too long."
Cadance nodded softly. "I actually came with Shining to make an announcement to Twilight. The timing was good to have this little... talk."
Silver perked an ear. "Announcement? Something nice?"
Cadance smiled brightly. "We're catching up to you."
Silver looked blank a moment before it struck her. "Oh congratulations! I'm so happy for you." Silver offered her hooves and the two hugged gently. "I'm... sorry I was a little too busy with that before, but I'm not anymore. How can I help?"
Cadance set a hoof on Silver's head, gently ruffling her mane. "You can be a friend, which you already are. We are friends, aren't we?"
Silver recoiled a little. "Of course we are. You've been nothing but wonderful to me." She glanced away. "You're the only princess I trust completely."
Cadance's smile turned just a little sadder at that. "I'm glad to be trusted. Now... I say this as a friend, but you have changed."
Silver rolled her ears up at Cadance. "I died... You don't get more life-changing than that, do you? I'm still me... Is it really that bad? Everypony keeps staring at me like I'm a stranger... like I'm broken... I just want to be... me... Do I have to rut ponies to be me?"
Cadance leaned forward and touched noses. "Silver Stars... We are still friends. I can feel you... You're you, you're still in there, just different, and I'm afraid a little..." She rolled a hoof. "It's not healthy. Maybe you are broken, a little bit. It's not your fault, and we care about you. We care about you so much, Silver. Do you understand?"
Silver took a slow breath, then flicked off the oven with a twist of magic. "No. No I don't, but if you say there's something wrong, I believe you. You've never lied to me." Silver smiled gently. "Want to help? Can we... just enjoy each other for a little bit?" Cadance moved up and began assisting with dinner. They didn't speak more of worries or injuries, and Silver became happier.
Together they set out a table full of delicious foods for the castle full of ponies, running right through the shopping Silver had done before she knew there were to be guests.
Twilight waved Silver over to sit between her and Night, who still looked a bit worn around the edges, but was showing notable improvements since her worst.
Across from them sat the other princesses. Luna, Celestia, Cadance, and even Shining Armor. Spike had one end of the table, and Jake the other. Two Windsongs and Nefertari rounded it out, making for a fully packed table.
Patty Windsong fixed her eyes on Silver. She often looked at the revived alicorn, but hadn't said anything, until that night. "Are you happy?"
Silver perked his ears with surprise. "About?"
Patty waved vaguely. "Everything. You."
Silver nodded. "I'm glad to be alive, and to share that with you all."
Night suddenly sat up. "You've forgotten."
Silver frowned sharply. "How to be a stud?"
Night shook her head. "Not that. Your purpose." She pointed at Silver's flank. "You haven't even glanced at a spell book since you got back. You haven't even used a spell much trickier than basic levitation."
Silver worked her jaw wordlessly. It was true, she hadn't. Was that... so important? Yes... She sank in her place under a great, unseen, weight. "Where is my book?" She suddenly wanted her book very much. "Please, get it for me."
Night looked enthusiastic, but Twilight looked a little sunk. "It... burned. It was caught with you. I'm sorry."
Silver felt cold inside. Cold and... dead? She withdrew, drawing her limbs closer. "Did I make a copy? Oh please tell me I made a copy..."
Twilight sighed softly. "Copying books isn't as easy as it looks. We never really got around to it... I'm really sorry."
Silver's head thudded on the table. Her spells... She could remember making spells. She had been so very proud of them. She couldn't even remember how to read magic! Oh, yes, there was a guide in the book. The book that was gone... She couldn't help it, the tears flowed thickly from her, but she wasn't sobbing or making noise. The tears just... came, and she couldn't see anymore, and it hurt. It hurt deep inside.
Night's hopeful expression collapsed along with Silver. "We can make another book. Don't cry..."
Patty reached over and set a hoof on Night's shoulder. "Let her. This may be the most healthy thing she's done all day."
Celestia's wings ruffled softly. "We'll get you a new book, a durable one. Silver, you'll make a wonderful book of spells. In fact, I know a little spell that will help."
Silver sat up a little. She still couldn't see, but a little hope blossomed. "You can get the old book back?"
Celestia shook her head. "We can prevent it from happening again. I'll use a spell I used with a very talented student, and everything you write will appear in another book I'll keep in a very safe place. Then there'll be two, always."
Silver felt a faint glimmer of happiness spark, but it felt drowned in the ash. Her old book was gone. Gone forever. Just like she should have been. The tears refused to stop, even though she held herself upright. She didn't want to cry anymore! Crying wouldn't fix a thing. She was hurting those around her by crying. Her tears were becoming their tears, and their pain. She tried to rein them in, to control herself, and she started to succeed. It was an old trick of hers, learned long ago, as a human stallion. Tears were not needed.
Thump! Cadance drew back her hoof from where she had struck Silver right in the chest. "You let yourself cry as long as you need."
Silver felt a new pain, a physical one from where she had been punched by Cadance. Or was that kicked? It didn't matter. She could feel it. She raised a hoof to rub the spot. Cadance had struck her. She thought she could trust Cadance, with anything... Why did everyone she trust eventually hit her?
"Silver, are you alright?" It was still Cadance. "You're surrounded by ponies that care about you very much. Please..."
Silver drew a snotty snort and sat up as tall as she could. "No." Cadance was right to hit her. She deserved far more than a little slap on the chest. "I'm sorry."
Shining Armor joined the ranks of the other males at the table, looking awkward and unsure what to do about it.
Night flashed her fangs suddenly. "Silver, I learned something from you."
Silver perked her ears and started to ask, only to be tackled off the chair. They collapsed to the ground as Night sank her fangs into Silver and held her close. It hurt, being bit, but the sensation faded as a powerful new emotion coursed through her. She was worried, and she loved. She was... hoping this would help. Silver realized what was happening. Night was sharing everything.
Silver wrapped her wings up around Night and pulled her close. "Night, do you still love me?" She felt worry and love, deep worried love, all muddled together. "You do believe me... I am Silver, and I want to be here, with you all."
Night sat up, withdrawing her fangs and licking over them. "That really is a little intoxicating. I see why you liked it... Silver, we love you. Even as you are right now." She set a hoof on Silver's chest. "We don't need to be going at it like wild animals, but not even knowing what it is? To not even know what that means? That's not normal, and we're worried for you." She pressed down gently on Silver. "Even food you don't like, you can understand why somepony might like it, right?"
Silver frowned a little in thought. Why somepony would like something she didn't. Well... "They do it..." She couldn't grasp it. Why did people do it, besides making foals when they wanted to make foals? "They do it..."
Night rubbed her nose against Silver's. "You like being close, don't you?" Silver nuzzled back gently and smiled in reply, answer enough. "Now imagine it could get even closer. So close we become one pony, just for a little while."
Shining and Cadance leaned against one another with slightly goofy expressions. They apparently knew what it meant and were quite happy with it.
Celestia ruffled her wings. "Silver... We laid together, several times. At my request most of the time. You tried so hard to please me, to give me everything I wanted. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. I never was quite appreciative about it, and that was wrong of me."
Luna smiled. "Even in dreams, where we couldn't possibly make foals, where there was no true contact, we thrilled in the--"
"I'm out." Spike hopped to his feet and scurried off, unable to stand any further discussion on the matter.
Silver sat up, sitting in front of Night instead of under her. "I want... I don't understand it, but I don't want to make everyone sad by not..."
Night reached out and put a hoof on Silver's snout. "Don't do it because we're asking you to. I know you'll do it if we ask hard and long enough. Stop, think, and reason this through, for yourself. You may decide, on your own, to be celibate, and I'll do my best to respect that, but you need to know what you're asking for, and what you're asking not to have. Do you think it's truly... normal for you just to not know at all?"
Silver spread and folded her wings in a fitful gesture. Why was everyone so fascinated with what was between their legs? What was so fascinating about them to begin with?! They were... they were there. Like an arm or a leg. You don't see ponies rambling about leg appreciation day! Silver began to grow frustrated, with herself, and everyone else. "I don't understand..." She looked up at Night. "I want to understand, but I don't." She turned to look at Luna and Celestia. "I understand we were together... I can even remember Luna with... with me, but I don't... I don't know why."
Shei let out a slow breath before leaning in to speak with her aunt, "You were right. It..."
Cadance clopped the top of the table twice gently. "Please, everypony. Sit properly, and let's finish our meal. You've been given plenty to consider, Silver, and that's enough, for now. We don't need to force it all at once. We're on your side." She turned to Shining. "May we stay, just a few days? I want to help."
Shining smiled ruefully. "I had a feeling you would. I'll go on, and take care of things in the Crystal Empire, and you can catch up with me, alright? We already have a few days scheduled, but I'll make sure you get a few more." They met with noses and gently nuzzled. Silver smiled at the pure love they showed.
Silver hopped back into her seat after setting it right, and soon they were all settled. Dinner was eaten, compliments were given, and discussion even managed to resume with pleasantries rising. The princesses asked about Cadance's upcoming foal, which drew attention away from Silver, much to her relief. Talking about Cadance's motherhood felt much nicer than staring at the missing part of herself. Was it missing? It had to be... Everypony else could see it clear as day, and she saw nothing, not even why she did what she did in the past.