Some days, the Everlasting Night is upon the skies. Sometimes, an army from another dimension wants to take over Equestria. Sometimes, a new flavor of donuts is invented.
And sometimes something important happens.
The door to the cinema burst open, letting a few dozen excited ponies back to the lit evening streets of Canterlot. Among them was a group of five extraordinary fillies.
"That... was... AWESOME!" Moondancer loudly proclaimed with hooves up in the air, grabbing the attention of everypony around.
Twilight nodded, her enthusiasm being a bit more subdued. "I must admit, Trixie wasn't exaggerating!"
The mare in question grinned. "As if there was ever any doubt!" Trixie allowed herself her own (trademark pending) pose. "The taste in movies of The Grrrreat and Powerrrful Trrrrrixie is impeccable and should never be questioned!"
Moon Sky nodded. "Thanks for inviting us, Trixie!"
"Trixie only finds it appropriate to treat her friends with same kindness and generosity she receives from them!" Also, the free tickets expired in two days and wasting a piece of culture is a big no-no!
"But still, I can't believe they pulled it off!" Said Moondancer, collapsing back on her four hooves upon losing her balance (how does Trixie do it for so long?) "They hyped this movie beyond belief and I was still shocked when Patrician betrayed Scarcity!"
"I agree," Twilight nodded "they had such good chemistry together that I really wished he was a triple agent of sorts."
"To be fair," Moonbutt Two (also Prime) joined in "the idea of taking revenge for destroying his clan's reputation was something one could get behind. Probably not to the point of blowing up an entire castle full of innocent ponies, but..."
"Honestly, after his flashback? Trixie wouldn't feel too bad if all those ponies died in an explosion. None were shown to be anything but a bunch of unredeemable snobs that Equestria could live without."
While Moon Sky and Twilight were busy gasping at the implied horror (not that much though, it was still just a movie), Moondancer grinned and leaned over Trixie. "You only say that because Patrician's actor looks a lot like..." she made a short pause to close herself to Trixie's ear "...your beloved!"
"P-preposterous! Patrician, despite having great looks, masterfully applied make-up, fabulously styled mane of the same color and deep blue eyes one could drown if stared at for too long, is nothing like Trixie's beloved! Though if Trixie had to rank the best looking and most attractive stallions, Trixie guesses he would be a close second, but still..." She shook her head. "Trixie demands a change of topic!" As much as they enjoyed seeing the usually the Calm and Composed Trixie turn into the Blushing and Flustered one, the trio limited themselves to just quiet giggling with no more brutal teasing.
"Sunny, why so glum?" Moondancer turned towards her fiery-maned friend, who offered only a neutral shrug in response. "Don't tell me you didn't like it?"
"No, the movie's pretty good, I enjoyed it."
"You're annoyed that we're talking about stallions and our love life instead of the important stuff?"
Sunset rolled her eyes. "After so many years with you I got used to weirder topics. No, it's the movie. I like it and I know I will go watch the next one when it inevitably comes out..."
"But?"
"But even though it's the first movie in a franchise, I get the feeling that I already know how everything will play out." Twilight, Trixie and Moondancer facehooved instead of answering, unlike Moon Sky, who wasn't aware of where this conversation was taking them. "For one, Patrician died falling from a fying airship into an giant explosion. There's no way I can buy that he didn't survive it."
Moon Sky, still not as genre savvy as the others, objected. "Wouldn't that absolutely kill anypony? Much less a single unicorn, who didn't even know any shield or teleportation spells? They even explicitly stated that in the prologue."
"Except they didn't find the body, which automatically means he somehow miraculously survived it. And lo and behold, which actor was the first one to sign the contract for two more movies? I rest my case."
"Sweet!" Moondancer beamed. "That means we'll see him two more times!"
"Yeah, but I can feel how it'll go from miles away. Episode two, suddenly everypony's shocked, he's back! Oh, the drama! And they will defeat him again, but this time he'll escape, setting up plotlines for the third one, except there will be a twist! Another bad guy appears, the one who was foreshadowed all this time and he's many times worse than Patrician, so Scarcity is forced to team up with him, there will be a lot of sexual tension blahblahblah, and Celestia forbids, he'll go back to being a good guy, except we can't have that, so he'll sacrifice himself for maximum drama. And everypony will love it and it'll earn a billion bits."
There was a moment of silence, before Twilight shook her head. "There's just no pleasing you."
"Many tried." Sunset shrugged, while Moondancer braced herself and managed to resist the urge for a 'that's what she said' comment. "Here's hoping I'm wrong about at least SOME of the stuff I just said. And really, I can't be the only one who rolled her eyes at the 'throw a bomb at a bunch of aristocrats' plot?" Pause. "Anypony?"
"It wasn't that bad..."
"Trixie enjoyed the special effects too much to think about the details!"
"In the age of breaking the conventions and deconstructing every trope, it was pretty refreshing to see a classic played straight!"
Sunset smacked her face. "And this is why I wasn't talking!"
Moondancer shook her head. "Oh Sunny, you should just relax and enjoy the show."
"I WAS enjoying it," she lashed out, then turned her head away "I said so twice already!"
"And who cares if it's the same old cliche again? It's not like anypony was expecting a Horspanish Inquisition..."
There was a flare of dramatic music. "NOPONY EXPECTS THE HORSPANISH INQUISITION!"
"AAAAAAAHHH!" Twilight yelled.
"AAAAAAAHHH!" Moondancer yelled even louder.
"MEEP!" Moon Sky yelped, mostly because others yelled.
"Huh?" Sunset Shimmer raised an eyebrow.
"Ugh!" Trixie facehooved at the trio of stallions in red robes. First one was wearing a wide-brimmed hat, the other one an aviators cap, and the last one was just wearing a plain, red cloth that might have been a stand-in for a hood. "Not you three clowns again!"
"We have caught you with our greatest weapon once again,” announced the leader, “and that weapon is surprise! Surprise and devotion to our cause, which is two things, we have caught you with our two greatest weapons; surprise and devotion to our cause, and rrruthlessnes with which we proceed, which makes three weapons... amongst our weaponry are--"
"Yes, yes, we heard that one before," Moondancer waved a hoof at them "I have a question, WHY ARE YOU NOT ROTTING IN THE MANEHATTAN JAIL?"
The leader laughed. "Hah, as if the law could restrain our order from accomplishing our goal! And no, we shall not reveal what our goal is, for if it is one thing, it is a secret! A secret goal of justice, which is two things; a goal of secrets and justice..."
Moondancer leaned over Trixie to whisper. "When will they stop?"
"Trixie never stuck long enough to find out."
"Just to be clear," Twilight asked quietly "those are the ones that chased you all over Manehattan, right?"
"Why aren't they still in jail?" Moon Sky also joined in what now turned into a circle.
"Because Manehattan is a city of lawyers."
"Ooooh!"
"Thwarted by capitalism!" Moondancer lamented, while Moon Sky nodded, as Luna made a mental note to look into the Equestrian law for some corrections.
"...and these are the thirteen values that our order stands for!" The brim-hat leader finally finished his explanation, and sighed with with relief while wiping the sweat from his forehead. "We hereby came to you, Trixie Lulamoon, to carry your punishment for committing the cardinal sin of trilling your r's without them being the first letter of the word!"
"They're trying to bugger off!" Aviator hat noted, pointing at the slowly moving group.
Leading the group, Trixie explained in a hushed tone. "Quietly, just ignore them, maybe they'll leave us alone."
"Has this ever worked?"
"There's a first for everything." The group nodded, as Moondancer once again restrained herself from making a 'that's what she said' comment.
There was another flair of dramatic music, as the trio of red robed stallions dashed in front of the fillies. "Nopony escapes The Horspanish Inquisition!"
"Tsk, worth a shot!"
"I have a feeling we're forgetting about somepony..." Moondancer shrugged. Probably nothing important.
"Our chief weapon is surprise; surprise and--"
"We already did that one!" The aviator hat wearing inquisitor said.
"Rrrrright then, let's get on with it! Cardinal! Bring out... the rrrrrrack!"
The Cloth Hat wearing inquisitor stepped forward and produced an object from under his robes. And as expected, everypony was confused and a little let down, even the brim hat leader seemed embarrassed and smiled sheepishly at the Cardinal, who excitedly flailed the wooden triangle for a moment.
---
"So..." Brain scratched his head "...now what?"
Heart shrugged. "Don't look at me, I got nothing!"
"Spontaneous reactions is your job."
"Well I failed, so it's up to you."
"..."
"..."
"We do nothing?"
"We do nothing."
---
Moon Sky did nothing.
After a moment, Twilight tried to break the awkward silence. "So... how come you only appear when somepony says your name?"
"Ah, that is the one secret of our covenant that nopony is allowed to know. That and our baptism rituals. These are two things which are to be kept secret in our covenant!"
"And the cardinal sin." Said aviator hat.
"Yes, our covenant has three secrets: our baptism, the cardinal sin and our unexpected entrance!"
Aviator Hat nodded. "We've been following miss Lulamoon for two weeks, waiting for the right moment!"
Trixie gasped. "Wait a minute... If it was you, then that means... it wasn't the wind!" She beamed. "Trixie isn't going crazy!"
Moon Sky deadpanned. "Good for you."
"Two weeks?" Twilight raised an eyebrow at the news. "I would be impressed by your devotion, if I wasn't so creeped out."
"Indeed!" The leader nodded proudly. "Devotion to our cause is one of our greatest weapons, amongst which are--"
BOOOM!
All four yelped at the same time, when a small, but extremely loud explosion hit the three stallions, sending them flying into the skies, until they disappeared in a blink of light. They could swear they heard them screaming something, but none could tell what it was. With all four sets of jaws dropped, they turned towards the grinning, fiery maned unicorn, whose horn was still smoking from the recently cast spell.
"Aaaaaand problem solved!" Sunset nodded to herself.
Moondancer gasped at the sudden brain-wham. "THAT'S who we were forgetting!"
"You're welcome." Sunset Shimmer said as she wiped the sweat from her forehead, satisfied from a job well done. This wasn't the strongest spell she had ever cast, but it included a lot of mental arythmetics and careful planning, which was as taxing as gathering the mana required to pull such a feat while making sure that nopony she cared about was caught as collateral damage. She expected at least some gratitude, but all she got were terrified and scrutinizing looks. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"
"SUNSET, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!" Twilight yelled. "You can't just blow all your problems up!"
Sunset waved a hoof at her. "Relax, Sparkle. I made sure this spell wouldn't do any harm to them, except launch them into the air, with all their bone tissue intact. It hurt about as much as a giant pillow. And I don't blow up ALL my problems, just the most nagging ones."
While Twilight tried to wrap her head around what was just implied, Moon Sky noted. "I'm less worried about the spell and more about the fall."
Sunset waved her hoof again. "I got this covered too. I took a lot of time to calculate the proper angles and power required, taking into account the differences in atmosphere, air moisture and wind, and I am 99,9% certain that they will land in the shallow part of the ocean filled to brim with life-saving dolphins. They'll be fine, but the flight, fall and cold water should teach them not to harass us anymore. See, I got this all covered."
While the explanations and logic were sound, her four friends seemed unconvinced and looked at each other for a while, before the fatal flaw of this entire plan was revealed.
"The ocean's that way." Moon Sky said, pointing in the opposite direction.
Sunset blinked. While her face remained neutral, sweat started pouring from her forehead. She blinked again. "Well, fffffffffffffffffforget about them, who wants Ice-Cream? My treat!"
"Trixie always enjoys a double cream special surprise!"
Moondancer perked up and immediately replied. "That's what she said... DAMNIT!" She facehooved.
Sunset grinned evilly. "And by 'my treat' I mean 'Moondancer will pay for everything'. Am I right?"
Moondancer slumped her head and sighed. "I was so close..."
Moon Sky and Trixie both blinked, exchanging the confused looks.
---
Few hours ago, Dorm Room 616A (aka Maresketeers HQ)
"Sunny, since Trixie invited us, all of us, for a movie, I need you to be nice to her."
"Sure."
"And by 'be nice' I don't mean 'don't shoot fireballs at her or smack her face for no good reason', although that too. I mean, be nice!"
"I will be nice."
"That means no taunting her, no questioning her taste in wardrobe, movies and stallions; not pointing out any of her quirks and just generally, do nothing to irritate her."
"Ugh, I get it! I'll be as silent as a mouse! Sheesh, it's a free country, I'm allowed to say and think what I want and it's not like I care much about her opinion of me anyway, so..."
"You're doing it again! And she's not even here!"
"Not my fault she gets on my nerves so easily."
Moondancer sighed, then grinned and used her special weapon. The one that always works. "Twenty bits says you won't be able to resist it."
Sunset's ears perked, her eyes narrowed and matched Moondancer's. "Oh, you wanna bet?"
"You bet I wanna bet!"
"...alright then. But it has to go both ways!"
"That's what she said!"
Sunset rolled her eyes and ignored the comment. "I bet twenty bits you won't be able to resist bucking some random dude (or dudette) in the next twelve hours."
Moondancer blinked. "Why won't you just bet I won't resist the urge to BREATHE while we're at it?" She said in the most sassy way Moondancer could possibly muster. "Give me something more reasonable, will ya?"
Sunset scratched her head and smiled sheepishly, realizing just how far she went with this one. "Okay, fine. How about this- twenty bits says you won't be able to resist a 'that's what she said' comment until midnight?"
"Deal!" Hooves were bumped, while in the distance, Twilight shook her head, all too aware how this kind of thing always ended.
---
"And I was so close!" Moondancer lamented, having only Moon Sky's pat on the head to cheer her up.
"Uhm, hello?" Twilight spoke up. "Aren't we forgetting about three ponies that are FALLING TO THEIR DEATHS right now?"
"Trixie wouldn't worry about them," the showmare waved a hoof "she's witnessed them falling from cliffs, into explosions, inside of an active volcano -- don't ask; flushed into the sewers of Las Pegasus and dropped from a blimp into the rocky mountains during 'Dragon Convention'. They'll be back in two weeks, a month tops."
Twilight opened her mouth, but a moment passed before she said anything. "D-did you...?"
"Trixie didn't have to do any of those things herself. Though she was considering them on more than one occasion..."
---
Many miles away.
"We'll get you one day, Trixie Lulamoon! Amongst our other weaponry is devotion; devotion and--"
"Ewww, my robe's all sticky!"
"Is it too late to become a baker?"
The brown coated, overalls wearing farmer scratched his head, while chewing on his stalk and observing three stallions in robes (he couldn't tell the colors at the moment) that just fell into his pool of compost. He sighed and shook his head.
"Dangit, Ah knew tis woulda keep happenin'," he lamented to himself "An' Ah've been tellin' pa, we shoulda put a sign saying 'Ain't no pool; ain't no swimmin' allowed'. But is he evah listenin' ta me?"
