//------------------------------// // Crusaders of the Lost Mark // Story: A Dream // by totallynotabrony //------------------------------// I didn’t have a lot of experience in planning parties. I don’t think there are many things I’m really bad at, though, so even if I’m not particularly good at something I should still be able to kind of do it. I’m okay at making cakes if I do say so myself. The rest – the decorating, the gifts, the cards, the cheerfulness – not so much. Fortunately, I had tequila. I was well into baking and bottles when Sunset arrived. She was still in a good mood from the Social and came over to kiss me on the cheek. “How’s it going?” “Well, I don’t know a whole lot about cute-ceañeras but I guess this will do.” “I think it’ll be just fine,” Sunset agreed. “It isn’t every day that you see someone pull off such an epic stunt.” “Trixie was certainly impressed.” “Trixie should be proud of herself, too. She took the hit to make it happen.” “And getting hit by Big Macintosh is like getting hit by a train.” I was reminded of that time Sunset once wrestled – and beat – a train on my behalf. While the cake was in the oven, I went out to the workshop and got Tin Mare serviced. Step one was a good wash. The blood on her underside would probably corrode things if left too long. I didn’t exactly have another camera lying around to replace her broken one, but was able to scavenge enough parts to make it work. I also loaded her gun, just in case. I had a few minutes to spare and spent it working on the thirty millimeter gun prototype that I would have to find a new airframe for. Tin Mare eyed it, or at least the electronic camera equivalent, but we’d already established that it wasn’t for her. I saw her looking and asked, “So what’s this about Braeburn helping you get back to Ponyville?” “He might have seen something that my sensors could not detect. I looked up Braeburn’s specifications and decided that he could function as an offboard sensor. Given my expensive nature, I’m hella sure you would prefer to have meatbag backup. As much as a cyborg like Braeburn can be considered a meatbag.” “I think he’s into you.” “I had not considered that.” She paused. “I was not aware that you observed such things. You had seemed oblivious to relationships in the past.” “Fair point.” I shrugged. Sunset helped me do the rest of the party prep for the rest of the day. We went to sleep that night confident that the party the next day would be something to remember. I think she was interested in remembering that night, too, but wasn’t sure. She was awfully hoovsy to be sleeping. The next day, walking near the school, I saw the Cutie Mark Crusaders and suddenly realized that they would have to crusade for something else. Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, Rumble, Pipsqueak, Cordoba, Strawberry Glaze, Inkspot, and Paperwork had all gotten their marks. “What a coincidence,” I said. “Hey Valiant,” said Apple Bloom, “We heard you were throwin’ a cute-ceañera.” “If you all want to come, we can probably arrange that,” I said. “I guess we’ll need more cake.” “Party at Valiant’s place!” shouted Scootaloo. Cheerilee looked out the window of the schoolhouse, giving me a withering glare. I brushed it off. “So what happened?” “Well see, Pipsqueak wanted us to manage his campaign for Student Body President,” Apple Bloom started off. “His campaign promise was a good one, he wanted to replace the playground equipment that was damaged mysteriously and coated in blood about the same time Ms. Cheerilee reported she’d seen an intruder in the school,” added Sweetie Belle. I glanced towards the window. Cheerilee studiously avoided my look. “Everypony agreed that it was a good idea and Pip won unopposed!” finished Scootaloo. “So you got cutie marks for that?” I asked. “No, Pipsqueak got his for being such a great leader and giving the ponies what they want,” said Sweetie Belle. “We got our cutie marks for helping him to realize his dream and potential.” I looked at their butts. Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo all had some variation of a shield. Apple Bloom’s also had an apple. Scootaloo had a lightning bolt. Sweetie Belle had a music note. “That’s not what it looks like.” Scootaloo glanced at the others. “I told you that ponies would ask why we weren’t any good at interpreting our marks!” “I still say with the shields we could be some kinda guardians,” said Apple Bloom. “Yes, but of what?” asked Sweetie. “And what about the rest of you?” I asked the group. “How did you all get your marks on the same day?” “Diamond Tiara’s – you remember her? – mother tried to say that her daughter should be eternal Student Body President forever,” said Inkspot, showing off his, well, inkspot cutie mark. “So we passed ruling to make her illegal. It took a lot of Paperwork.” “Oh come on, you helped too,” said Paperwork, gesturing to his friend’s inky cutie mark and to his own legal documents. “You made her illegal?” I said, but decided not to ask. I probably didn’t want to get involved in elementary school lawsuits. “While we worked on all this, I kept everypony fueled up with snacks,” said Strawberry Glaze, showing off her confections cutie mark. “Long courtroom hours, you know.” Rumble was the next to speak, gesturing to the raincloud on his hip. “Mrs. Rich was pretty steamed about getting made illegal. I put out the fire with a cloud.” “What fire?” I asked. “Um, nevermind,” said Scootaloo. Cordoba turned to the others and lifted her wings to show off her cutie mark, a golden medallion featuring a shield flanked by lions. “I won the Sisterhooves Social.” “It’s good to hear you’ve all earned your cutie marks,” I said. “If you all want to come to the party and make it one big one, I’m sure we’ll have a great time.” They were all agreeable and I told them when to show up. I went on down the street, spotting the girls coming back to town from being in Manehattan. Rainbow was with them, although they were all keeping their distance from her. “Is this about the radiation?” I asked. “How did you know?” Twilight demanded. “Tin Mare was there. Plus, I’ve got my network of spy satellites.” “If you knew Rainbow was radioactive, why didn’t you say anything?” Applejack glared at me. “Because I didn’t know until recently. Believe me, I try not to take even regular pictures of Rainbow, much less ones with sophisticated multi-spectral optics like Tin Mare’s gear. If it weren’t for that, you still wouldn’t know about her hidden dangers. And you know what? If it weren’t for me telling you right now, you wouldn’t know that Zecora has a special medicine that can help. Trixie’s been taking it for her radiation suppression.” They were all silent for a moment before Rainbow muttered, “Thank you, Valiant.” “What was that?” I grinned. She glared at me, but didn’t repeat herself. Since Guinness was standing there, I turned to him and said, “Since you’re standing there, I was hoping you could do me a favor. I think Braeburn might have the hots for Tin Mare.” Guinness looked tired, but that perked him up. “Really? A cyborg and an organic AI?” He tilted his head. “I guess not the weirdest couple I’ve heard of.” “I was wondering if you could give me your professional bartender opinion. Maybe not go as far as doing your signature ‘Why don’t you two have a drink together?’ move and see if they hook up, but feel it out.” “How would I even serve an airplane a drink?” he asked. “She’s flex-fuel.” Guinness nodded, already appearing deep in thought. “So do you want them together…?” “Hell no. He’d only get hurt and I didn’t build her with the emotive capacity.” I turned to go, but then turned around. “Oh yeah, pretty much every kid in town got their cutie marks while you were all gone, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo included.” Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow gasped simultaneously. “Really? That’s awesome!” said Rainbow. “I’m hosting the cute-ceañera,” I said. “Huh? Why could you possibly care?” asked Twilight. “Hey, I’m probably a bigger hero to the kids in town than you,” I pointed out. “Seriously, you think kids these days care about friendship role models? Actually, scratch that, you aren’t even good at friendship, Twilight.” “How dare you-!” “Yeah, the Elements of Harmony. Honestly, Twilight, wouldn’t you rather have friends that each have more than one quality of friendship? And speaking of that, as the Element of Magic, you’re only good at shooting spells. That means you don’t even have a single friendship trait.” Twilight burst into flames. I snapped my hoof. “That’s perfect. I needed a bonfire for the party. See you all later.” I went back to my place and got a few final things ready in the hours before the party. Guests started showing up early. I had invited both Bible and Sir Win, and made sure to tell them both, so they came but occupied opposite sides of the room. The now cutie-marked Crusaders arrived next. It was a party for all of them, so they pretty much had the run of the place. Trixie showed up. Daring wasn’t with her, so I figured she must be busy. Finally, the ones I had most recently invited appeared. Twilight was still on fire, and still giving me dirty looks. Fortunately, it looked like she had invested in Nomex books and went to lie down outside as the sun set, reading by her own light. The party got rolling. While it wasn’t a Pinkie party, I think I did all right. The group had things to talk about, cake and snacks to eat, and s’mores to roast on Twilight. At some point Braeburn and Big Mac arrived. They congratulated Apple Bloom. Big Mac and Trixie had a moment, but it ended with a laugh. Both of them were willing to do silly, dangerous things in defense of family. Braeburn walked over to where Tin Mare was parked. “I see you’re all fixed up.” “I was not severely damaged. You did not need to be so worried.” Guinness showed up. “How are you two doing this evening?” “Considering I’m a party hosted by Valiant, I’m a little surprised nothing has blown up yet,” remarked Braeburn. “He has not ordered me to blow up anything,” replied Tin Mare. “That’s…not what I meant,” Braeburn replied. “I know what you meant. I was merely attempting to make a joke,” explained Tin Mare. “I have no humor logic in my programming, so I work with what I have.” “It’s poetic,” said Guinness. “We all do what we can to overcome natural limitations.” “There’s nothing natural about being an airplane,” muttered Braeburn. His face went red. “Er, I didn’t mean to imply-” “As I have explained before, I cannot be insulted,” Tin Mare said. She paused, her camera optics zooming in. “It is interesting how your face lights up in infrared when you blush.” Guinness walked away. Those two were going to fall in love and there wasn’t anything he could do to stop it. He grinned. Not that he wanted to. The party went on. Everything was going quite swimmingly until a pink and purple mare wearing a mask burst onto the scene. “How dare you celebrate your cutie marks!” The Element bearers immediately jumped to attention. They were more than used to facing unexpected challenges. However, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo jumped in front of them. “We got this!” said Scootaloo. “We’ll protect you!” assured Sweetie Belle. “Hey, we were talking about being guardians of something. Cutie Mark Crusader Guardians of Harmony go!” cheered Apple Bloom. “I like the idea, but we aren’t really Cutie Mark Crusaders anymore,” Sweetie pointed out. “We kind of are,” said Scootaloo. “She did just threaten cutie marks.” “We’ll sort this out,” I said. “Hold on to your butts.” “You mean our cutie marks?” “That’s what I said.” I gave Sunset a look. She went over and choked the shit out of the noisy newcomer, dragging her off into the darkness. “Wh-but…that’s impossible!” said Twilight. “That masked pony couldn’t have been in two places at once. We met her in Manehattan, and then we got the first train back to Ponyville after picking up Rainbow. She wasn’t on it, and I know there hasn’t been a train since, so unless she had some other way to travel, there’s no way she could be here!” “Or, you know, it’s not the same pony,” I pointed out. “How many mask-wearing purple and pink mares can there be?” Twilight asked. “Three.” Twilight gestured. “Well, who?” “It could have been Suri Polomare that I scalped, Starlight Glimmer whose face Pinkie melted with a kiss, or whoever the hell that was.” “Spoiled Rich, Diamond Tiara’s mother,” provided Rumble. “Remember what I said about the fire?” “I suppose that explains the mask?” I said. “She was really upset that so many foals were suddenly getting cutie marks,” said Scootaloo. “And said something about so many foals growing up but her daughter would never get the chance.” “Yeah, she was still really broken up about that time Diamond Tiara got smeared in a thin paste all over town,” added Apple Bloom. “Maybe she didn’t want anything to ever change again because she was a sore loser,” proposed Sweetie. She shrugged. “But nobody cares about Spoiled Rich because she was terrible. Her nose literally turned up.” “Not since her face burned off,” corrected Cordoba. “Have I seen you around before?” Applejack asked the filly. “You look familiar, but I’m not sure.” “I think I’ve seen her before,” said Twilight. She frowned and her eyes narrowed. “Wait, didn’t you kick me a few times?” “This is the filly that won the Sisterhooves Social,” Trixie provided, throwing a foreleg around her shoulders. Cordoba probably only put up with it because Trixie was her big sister. “You did?” said Applejack. She glanced at Cordoba’s cutie mark. “The prize is a blue ribbon for winning. Is that a gold medal? What’s your cutie mark mean?” “This?” said Cordoba. “It’s a hood ornament. It means that I am Chrysler Cordoba, worthy daughter of Plymouth Valiant.”