My Own Comfort

by Listener


Chapter the Second

“Well, here we are!”

Twilight smiled excitedly as Mayor Mare opened the door to the library. The door swung inward to revealing the dusty floor which starkly contrasted the bright and blue Ponyville day behind them. She took scope of all it, the dreary atmosphere, the sparse spaces, even the gutted shelves. Radiant literary possibility shone from them all.

“Thank you Mayor Mare. The Princess could easily have arranged all of this for me, but this is something I just had to do for myself,” the unicorn said as she stepped inside the library. Layers of dust came unsettled as she set careful hooves on the floor. She did her best not to disturb the sleeping dragon on her back. They had left Canterlot on the midnight train, an hour at which a baby dragon should have been sleeping.

Mayor Mare followed her inside but kept close to the door. She had chosen to spare what little free time she had for this very special pony, one whose abrupt arrival into her life made it all the more wonderful. The time for sentiment was coming to a close, however. She had an inauguration to get to. She followed Twilight inside further, careful not get a speck of dust on her person.

“Ah, it’s no trouble at all, Twilight. Taking initiative for the first time is a fresh and exciting change, is it not? After all, what is learning when you’ve relied on the Princess up until now?” she teased her. Mayor Mare glanced around the library with skeptical eyes.

“Err… I am well aware of your… penchant for books.” The place was a wreck. A masterpiece of Earth Pony craftsmanship no doubt, but the passage of time had not been kind at all. “But honestly, Twilight. A library? Isn’t this a bit extreme?”

Twilight grinned at the older mare before shrugging. “You know as well as I do that this place has been empty for too long.”

She strode further into the library, stepping on a slight depression on the floor. Noticing it, she slid a hoof over it. Wasn’t there a heavy figurehead that was supposed to stand here? She could faintly recall seeing it somewhere in the library.

“Ah, that,” Mayor Mare began, clearing her throat of dust. “That bust of Clover the Clever was magnificent. But sadly it was of a lesser make and starting to crumble to bits. The wood wasn’t enchanted against termites like everything else, I’m afraid.”

“Well, that’s a shame. I was hoping to pair it with this wonderful Starswirl bust I’m having shipped later this week,” Twilight replied in a moment’s disappointment. “No matter. I’ll just find a replacement, or just commission somepony in town. And besides, this place... There’s something about I can’t...” Twilight trailed off as she surveyed the place again..

Mayor Mare followed Twilight’s gaze and the matter clicked. She sighed contemplatively and looked back at Twilight. “It’s hard to believe that back then that a filly such as yourself was capable of teleporting all the way from Canterlot to this abandoned space of all places. A feat of magic only master mages are capable of,” she told in recollection with a hint of nostalgia and amazement. Frankly for her, the event was still fresh in mind, with the mare beside her as living proof. The more Mayor Mare thought about it, the more the awe she had for Twilight grew. “It’s been years since then, but it actually doesn’t feel that very long since I found you here sleeping in that dusty book fort you built,” she said as she came and stood next to Twilight.

Twilight laughed at the memory. “Oh, I remember that. How you spent the next day trying to get in contact with my parents? Oh boy, that day was a doozy.”

“Yes, quite. And let me tell you, having a filly with an unusually large reserve of magic around the house? That certainly was an interesting week. It should have been no surprise to me when Princess Celestia herself answered the call first,” she said with a fidgety smile. Like any other average pony, it was her dream to meet the dear Princess in the flesh. But the chance of meeting her out of the blue in normal circumstances was slimmer than meeting in the dungeons for committing treason. Looking back now, she supposed that this hadn’t been a normal circumstance at all.

“Well, I’m glad you found me. I honestly don’t know if I would have made it without you finding me in the morning. Honestly, I might have just panicked myself sick.” Twilight came in close to bring Mayor Mare into a thankful hug. “Thanks again.”

She grinned ear to ear and reached a hoof to tousle up Twilight’s mane. “No, my little bright star,” she said.

Twilight looked up at her at the mention of her old nickname, one she hadn’t heard in so long.

“Thank you for bringing such color to this plain old mare’s life.”

The embrace grew genuine with the warmth of love and friendship. After breaking away, Twilight giggled before fixing her hair, and Mayor Mare correcting her tie.

“Well as much as I love seeing you again, Twilight, I have duties to attend to,” she reminded herself with a sigh, heading out the door. “I’ll stop by later and help you settle in. If you haven’t already finished by then, that is!” Mayor Mare yelled with a wave goodbye.

Twilight returned the gesture before looking back to the work she had before her. It honestly looked like no one had been in the library since Mayor Mare had found her. She could even see the faded hoof outlines on the dust by the window where she had peeked past the boards in looking up at the Mare on the moon. She smiled as the chain of memories reminded her what happened later that morning.

 She had woken up to the nudges of a very confused and concerned beige mare. Said mare had come across her when she spied a crack on the boards with the door behind it slightly ajar. What followed then had been an awkward hour of getting filly Twilight to even talk to her before her stomach grumbled, causing her to consider the offer of a daffodil sandwich and orange juice in the Mayor’s home. It had taken about a week for a letter to get to Canterlot, what with the backlog at the post office due to mishandling. On the other hoof, her parents were quick to respond, sending mail via magic, a measure usually reserved during times of disaster. But what surprised both Mayor Mare and Twilight was the Princess’ unexpected arrival. Upon returning back in Canterlot, the good princess strongly advised the board of trustees of her school to let Twilight retake the exam. She passed with flying colors, hatched Spike from his egg and had earned her cutie mark that day to boot. And as they say, the rest is history.

Her horn lit softly, taking a pair of broom and dustpans each in its hold. She swept one corner by the door leading the kitchen-to-be. She then gently placed a still sleeping Spike on the spot, setting him down on the pillow she had brought, and then casting a simple null field against dirt and dust clouds.

Twilight took stock of her surroundings again. A small cart wheeled inside by her magic’s tug, and she added the cleaning supplies she stashed in it to her arsenal. It was just her and the dusty innards of this tree-bary, as they so fondly called it back then. This place was going to be spick and span before the night came.

A dozen brooms and mops unsettled dust bunnies up from their years-long rest. Thrice that many rags fluttered as they wiped and polished every shelve and surface that wasn’t the floor. Her magic on autopilot now, and she went on like this for almost hour. That was when something caught her attention. A peculiar feeling that tingled her from within, not unlike a unicorn foal’s first magical burst, yet…

Twilight shook her head and kept her focus on cleaning the library.

“You can do all that at the same time?”

Twilight stopped and looked around, confused. “Who’s there?”

There was nopony else around aside from the baby dragon sleeping a short ways away from her. That was really weird. As if on cue, the wind picked up and slammed the door shut, startling Twilight and nearly waking Spike up from his sleep. She examined the door, but nothing about it seemed off. What’s more was the clouds we still off in the distance with weather ponies working on them. She tried waving it off but the pace of her cleaning slackened as she became slightly unhinged. Her mind was elsewhere now, and with her concentration slipping, several brooms collided into a rickety reading desk.

“Oh horseapples...” she cursed at her sudden incompetence. She wasn’t a filly anymore, and juggling levitation spells for mundane chores shouldn’t take so much focus for her.

Still, something was off as she continued cleaning. Books of her personal collection flew through the air as she took them out from her cart and arranged them correctly. There were several stacks of forgotten books in the closet as well. They were all in need of some restoration, but for the most part she was glad their print was still legible.

She continued going around the library as she cleaned, humming a tune to herself as she reflected on the friends she had made here in Ponyville, a happy turn of events that came out of her teleportation incident. Running into Pinkie as a filly certainly had made an impact on the younger version of her. She had only just moved into Sugarcube Corner to learn baking, yet she had so many friends in town already. Of course, Pinkie had also introduced her to nearly every one of them.

She chuckled inwardly. In all honesty this was the main reason that she had moved down to Ponyville. To be closer to her friends. Pen pals were great and all, but nothing beat having real friends around to talk too. Sure she would miss Moondancer and the gang back in Canterlot, but she still had her apartment and all the books she left there to sort out. So there was no doubt she’d be seeing them quite often.

Her face turned bothered at the thought of coming back and forth between Ponyville and Canterlot. But then something else caught her eye, and this time it was on the floor.

“Scorch marks...?” She whispered as she looked at the vaguely circular burn, situated in the center of the library. The dust must have covered it up when they first entered the place. “So this where I teleported to?” She asked with a curious tone as she walked over, standing in the center.

“I’m Waning Star.”

Twilight gasped as she jumped out of the scorch mark.

“What was that?” She asked as if hoping somepony might answer here, Spike only responding with a yawn as he rolled over in his sleep

“Waning Star...?” She repeated those words… no, not words… a name! “That... That sounds strangely familiar.”

Twilight took cautious steps towards the scorch marks once more. She reached hoof to touch the burns on the floor. That was when it all rushed in, coming back to her.

“Uhh…. Let me head out real quick.Why don’t you pick up a book and pass the time?”

Twilight shook her head, memories flashing in her mind and causing it to spin. A different set of memories suddenly revealed themselves as she frantically threw her gaze around the library with new eyes.

“H-how could I... I forgot about her,” she said as the memory came back to her. The mare who had truly been the first to find her, and console her. Bits and pieces of this unicorn mare came together and the silhouette in her mind gained definition and slowly stepped out from the dark forgetful haze. Her coat a purple hue of late dusk, and her main a deep indigo like the moonlit night sky. Her calming mannerisms and assuring words. Twilight could even make out her cutie mark fresh from memory, a five-pointed starburst...

“I… forgot myself?”

That was just the beginning of it though, as even more memories flooded in, Twilight seeing herself- no... seeing who she had been sitting down in front of the dilapidated desk, it barely standing up as she reached out with feeble magic, a dripping quill hovering in front of her.

Twilight knew exactly what the other her was doing, having done it herself countless times.

“Dear Princess Celestia,”

Twilight shook her head, trying to clear the memory that almost didn’t belong yet fit so rightly in place. The wavering voice in her head continued to speak aloud what was being written with a voice desperate to be strong, yet nearly spent of remaining courage.

“I wish I knew how to start this letter, Princess. But I don’t.”  

The other her trying her best to keep it in, but nothing could stop the tears as it welled in her eyes.

Previous memories of this other her imposed themselves. Waning Star moved around the library. She helped ponies who came looking for good literature. She laughing with ponies who looked exactly like Pinkie and her Ponyville friends. She saw Waning Star- no… she saw Twilight Sparkle sitting in the corner and reading the night away quietly by candle light with a ghost like quality, yet her internal mind celebrated countless festivities with every page she turned.

“The impossible has happened and frankly I don’t know what to do. My past self has ended up in the library, and from what I could glean from her, she had not taken her entrance exam yet. This... should be impossible, Princess. Yet I cannot deny this is all too real. My past now weaves down a different path in the timeline without seeming cause, and has already taken Spike away. I suspect it won’t be long before the ripples in time reach for me and unravel my present as well.”

With a glance at Spike, Twilight gave a sigh of relief as she slowly ascended the stairs

“The library has become abandoned and decrepit as if nobody has ever lived here.  The pictures of my friends and family have all disappeared. My belongings, my books, everything that’s proof of my existence is fading away.”

Her breathing grew heavy and ragged from the influx of memories. She never really explored this place when she first came, yet she headed upstairs, turned corner and open doors with such familiarity. It felt she had been here the whole time. Her mind was unsure where her memories were decisive in what it wanted to show her.

“I don’t even know why I’m writing this letter to you. Logically speaking, the you that I know and love so well could have very well disappeared along with Spike and everything else by now. I know this a futile endeavor. I know… this won’t change anything.”

Twilight brought a hoof to mouth, terrified of the thoughts that plagued the other her in her final moments.

The other Twilight continued to dictate, but her sobs were getting stronger. It wasn’t long before she was crying, and she struggled past the tears. Holding them back for so long in spite of her impending existential unravelling, was a feat in and of itself, Twilight thought.

I am..was Twilight Sparkle, but so is she... In a way, will some part of me continue to live on in her? ”

Twilight’s eyes darted around the upper floor. The voice was petering out, yet it was also getting louder. Then she came upon a dusty old writing desk by the window. A perfect place to gaze at the moon within the comforts of home when nights grew too cold.

“This filly has merely been set back. I’ve accomplished so many things, and she will too. Despite all that’s happening and how it terrifies me, I choose to believe in me.”

She placed both hooves on the table top, looking down at the layers of dust that bedded it’s surface.

“I doubt anyone will remember me as I am. But some ponies believe that dreams are windows into alternate selves. Maybe Luna will see amongst the thousands of other faded realities? I hope so very much”  Other Twilight had exhausted herself in her despair, letting a faint hopeful chuckle break through.

Twilight brushed the layer of dust aside, revealing a faded piece of parchment and picking it up. It faintly smelled of ink. In fact against time itself, the writing remained and persisted as faded etchings that were barely legible.

“I was my only comfort, Princess. Please continue to be hers.”

She held back her own sobs as the emotions of her alternate self crashed over her, reading the ending as the other Twilight spoke her last.

“This is my last letter to you Celestia. This is... was your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.”

For a moment, the library was deathly silent. Twilight’s sobs echoed through the halls as her wayward memories came full circle.

Creaking stairs and floorboards sounded off behind her and she turned around seeing Spike rubbing the sand from his eyes. “Why didn’t you wake me up Twilight? I am still a baby dragon, but even I can-”

Spike noticed his adoptive sister’s tears. “Twilight? Are you alright?”

Twilight quickly and carefully rolled the parchment up. She turned around and nodded, wiping the tears from her eyes.

“Spike, take a letter.”