I cannot remember why, but I jerked from my sleep the next morning. I suppose my dreams were more restless than usual, but regardless, my head shuddered as I awoke to the sounds of the day. The birds riding on the air that tossed the leaves filled my room with a slight din that soothed me from my startled awakening.
As my mind slowly became aware of its surroundings, I realized that there was a rather unbecoming pool of saliva on my desk and the fur on the side of my face was matted and smelled repulsive. I was never the most elegant creature in the mornings, and that day was no exception. I grabbed a towel from one of my drawers and hastily wiped it up. To my chagrin, I realized that my mane was moist as well. A few choice words later and I had removed most of the wetness from myself and my desk.
After tossing the soiled towel to the floor, I let my eyes wander across my desk to the unstained note. I slid it toward myself and let my eyes take in the words as quickly as my mind would allow.
Parsing my late night tone was difficult in the fog of the morning, but the words still gave me power. This was my future described in the form of a thank you to the council. A smile crept across my face I as recalled the events of the night before. I had been physically unable to let myself give in. I was starting to like myself, to appreciate my own mindset toward the pursuit of my dreams. I believed it to be one of my better character traits, and I was right. My perseverance, while still in its infancy, would become one of the most valuable parts of who I was and am today.
That morning was the time when I truly realized, for the first time, that I was becoming the pony I wanted to be, and nothing would stand in my way. I had the power to shape my future and I was going to do just that.
I precisely folded the letter into thirds and gently slid it into an envelope. I neglected to address it, but I did seal it. It was a way for me to trap that mindset inside of myself as well as the page. I rose from my seat, donned my saddlebag, and left my room.
I needed to talk to Evenstar. I needed to tell somepony that knew my plight what I was about to do. I knew he believed in me, that he was willing to help me on my way to my future.
It was late morning, and autumn, once again, reminded me of the changing season. I was making a change too, I was pursuing my inevitable destiny in magic. I stepped into the silent warmth of the library and made my way to the offices.
“Evenstar?” I whispered as I tapped on the do not disturb sign on his office door. I didn’t want to disturb him, but I felt as though he wouldn’t mind a visit from me.
A light stirring from the room answered my response.
“Didn’t you see the sign?” I heard Evenstar mumble as he stumbled around in the room. “My office hours are from 1 to 4, ple—” He cut himself off as he opened the door. “Ah, Starswirl,” he mumbled as he stepped back into his office and gestured for me to follow. “I’d prefer that you don’t disturb me while I am working. However, now that you’re here, do come in.”
As I stepped into his office, I immediately noticed the mess. This time, instead of the serene emptiness I had experienced before, his room was scattered with books and clutter. Two tables stood beside the chair, each one covered with dozens of pieces of parchment and scrolls. Books littered the floor and piles of crumpled paper filled the corners.
“I apologize for the mess, I’ve been working on a new method for solid generation.”
My eyes grew wide. I don’t know why his statement surprised me, but I guess this world was something that I only imagined. To see it in action was still a new concept to me.
Evenstar chuckled. “What did you expect? A professor that doesn’t research?”
“I just never considered… Nevermind. I’m still new to all of this magic stuff.”
“Alright,” Evenstar surrendered. “Now, what did you want to talk about?”
I steeled myself and mustered up all of my confidence. “I’m changing my major.”
“Oh?”
“Yes, I’m switching to a degree in Advanced Theoretical Magic.”
“Oh…” His voice was heavy, as though the revelation only saddened him.
“Yes. I can’t stop lying to myself, Evenstar. I can’t live a lie anymore.” I could feel my voice becoming more powerful. “I can’t keep on telling myself that what I’m doing is something that I can keep on doing. This life, my life, is one that I can change, and I’m going to do just that. I’m changing my degree, I’m going to pursue theoretical magic, and I’m going to pursue my passion until the day I die.”
I wanted Evenstar to congratulate me, to tell me that I was doing the right thing, to ensure that my life would be as rich as I predicted. I wanted him to validate my decision, but instead all he could do was respond with, “I see…
“What about your other class?”
“Professor spark has allowed me to attend your class instead,” I said confidently.
“Starswirl,” he said as he stepped back into the center of the room and gestured for me to take a seat in his chair. “Take a seat. I want you to see something.”
My head cocked to the side as I walked toward him. I didn’t know what he was about to do, but this was a stallion I trusted. I carefully took a seat in between the two tables and let my back slide into the chair. “Alright… Now what?”
“Look around you Starswirl. What do you see?”
“Papers, books, quills…”
“No,” he said as he gestured toward the entire room. “What do you see?”
“I… I see a room filled with hard work for a noble cause.”
Evenstar brought his hoof to his muzzle and stepped over to the giant windows that stood at the edge of the room. He leaned against them and asked the question a third time. “Starswirl… What do you see?”
I wasn’t frustrated with his questioning, I was rather intrigued with his repetition. I wanted so desperately to understand what he wanted me to see. I wanted for him to understand that this was exactly what I needed in my life, a way to reach beyond the realm I had been locked into. “I see… I see a boundary.”
“A boundary?”
“There's a separation between us and the world… The windows…”
Evenstar glanced at the windows and nodded. “Alright, what is so interesting about them?”
“They’re stopping us from experiencing the world outside.” My attention was fixed on the massive glass panes in a trancelike gaze.
“Indeed they are,” Evenstar said.
“And… if we remove them,” I started as I stood from my chair and walked to the glass. “We can see the world more clearly, for what it really is.”
“We can do that, Starswirl.” Evenstar said as he pointed toward one of the latches on the bottom of the floor. He looked at me and nodded, as if to say that opening them was permitted.
I stooped to the floor and gave the latch a firm tug. The window groaned as it broke away from its seal. “All we have to do is remove the barriers,” I whispered as placed my hooves on the glass and gave it a firm push.
Instantly a loud howling filled the room as the cold, high-altitude wind swirled in with the force of a storm. It picked up quills, books, and pages throwing them all across the room. The organized chaos of before was immediately destroyed. I could only watch in horror as papers began to race toward the open window. I tried my best to close the pane of glass, but a few pages slipped out into oblivion. As I pulled the window shut, I could only watch as the pieces of parchment drifted off into the clouds and disappeared from my world. I turned my attention to the room. It was a mess. More books had fallen from the shelves, the tables of pages had been cleared of their notes and thrown to the corners.
I couldn’t look at Evenstar, I could feel his eyes boring holes into the back of my head. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered as I started toward the door. “I… I thought it was—”
“Starswirl.” Evenstar’s voice wasn’t upset, but rather as reserved as always. “This regret, this powerful feeling of remorse, remember it. The windows are a barrier.” He stooped to the ground and locked the latch once more. “They were keeping us from experiencing the world. They were hindering us.”
He knelt down and began cleaning up the mess. “All of my organization has been ruined, all of my research for today is over. However, it’s a small price to pay for such a valuable lesson. I wish I had been told this.”
“What?”
“Starswirl, you must be careful. This world is full of boundaries. Some of them are fair and some are not, but you cannot look at every boundary as something to surmount. If you do, the world will destroy you. I admire you for your pursuit of magic. I admire your determination, your perseverance, and your hunt to learn. However, you may be breaking boundaries that are keeping you safe. This world that we live in, it’s not one that takes kindly to breaking the status quo. Earth ponies, unicorns, and pegasi all have their own boundaries. They’re not fair, they’re not right, but they’re there.
“Starswirl,” Evenstar said, his voice softened through compassion, “You need discernment. Some boundaries are breakable, they can be toppled and reap great rewards. Think of when you opened that boundary to my class. You stepped into a world you didn’t know because your curiosity pushed you. Because of that, we met, you started learning magic, and you found your talent. Some boundaries, they’re breakable, but some aren’t.”
I nodded. I knew what he was saying was true, that I might be breaking through into a world that would destroy me. I was about to destroy something that had gone untested for years and I had no idea what lay on the other side.
“Discernment, Starswirl. Ensure you can make the right decision. I want you to succeed, but I don’t want you to fall, I don’t want you break through a boundary that will end up destroying you. There are always repercussions that you cannot see, ones that that may affect others beside yourself.” He stepped back to his chair, placed several pages back onto his desk, and took his seat once more. “I believe you can achieve great things, but greatness always comes at a cost.”
I nodded. “Thank you,” I choked out as I stepped to the door and placed my hoof on the handle.
“One more thing,” Evenstar said as he began realigning his work on the table. “I’m not going to stop you from going before the Council. The school will hear your plea, but they will not hear it a second time. Don’t break the wrong boundaries.”
“I don’t intend to,” I whispered as I opened the door into the library.