//------------------------------//
// 00: A Tavern in the North 
// Story: A Pony, A Druid, a Fighter, and a Kobold Walk into a Pub . . . 
// by AShadowOfCygnus 
//------------------------------//

Dear ponies, good folk of the North, gather round. Yes, I mean you. Yes, the sulking little brat in the corner. Your mother only cuffed your ear, boy, don't take it so hard.

*Ahem*

I have had quite a bit to drink tonight, fillies and gentlecolts. Probably more than was wise. I feel my jaw flapping and I'm not entirely sure what's coming out. Could be gibberish, could be the wine I swallowed just now. But!

(And this is a big but.)

I've got that itch. That guestly itch I only get when I've had quite a bit of mead, and these weary old bones feel properly warmed before a fire. The itch of the North, the itch that bids me relate my tale, to regale your colts and fillies with stories of brave heroes and foul monsters and grand adventure, the itch that--

Eh?

Oho!

Don’t think I don’t recognise you there, sir, snickering. I recognise the Rich house’s gold barding on your sash. And no, before you ask, I don't find the pun quaint. You of the South, with your gems and baubles and fancy keeps, you don’t understand us at all, do you? Up here in the winterlands, where once the Crystal Spires rose and sang their wind music to the shimmering stars, we have a tradition: it's common courtesy for a stranger, should she find herself at your hearth, to share with you the story of how she got there. It may seem uncouth, even bawdy to a refined gentleman such as yourself, but here we are.

I mean, it's true, we usually waive the rule for pubs, but I could use a few more drinks, and I'm sure there'll be those willing to ante up to hear this through to the end. And, if not? Well, there's the door. I'll just toddle right on ou--

Alright, alright! Goodness, child, but you've a pair of lungs. Never in all my years has something so small produced such a banshee's wail.

Alright. Hoof over that mug, Frostflower, m'dear. I wasn't finished with it yet.

*cough*

Alright, let's begin.