"Hello everybody, welcome back to..."
"Sunny!"
"Moony!"
"Twily!"
"Q&A!"
"I'm Sunset Shimmer, I pretend to hate everything, but I love my friends, enjoy hugs and I have a mother complex with Princess Celestia!"
"I'm Twilight Sparkle, I'm the sexiest nerd alive, I have a hundred of fans, but I still think nopony wants me!"
"I'm Moondancer, I will have sex with anything that has a pulse and anything that won't, I'll hug to death!"
"...pffft, BWAAHAHAHAAHA!"
"How's THAT for an introductory dialogue!"
"That was fun!"
"Let's get to work."
#askmaresketeers
Do any of you play video games? I'm rather fond of the Zelda* series myself.
"We already talked about our newfound appreciation for Pokemon and our new portable consoles..."
"That only unicorns and very skilled pegasi can even 'handle'."
"...but we haven't really had many opportunities to try too many of them. We haven't tried Zelda franchise yet, it's on our long "To-Do Checklist. And it's a long one."
"It's three hooves big!"
"That's what she sai--" SMACK! "OWW, worth it!"
"We can talk about some we tried already, right girls?"
"Sunny, I've seen you playing something last night. What was that exactly?"
"Oh, that. Well, it's a piece of garbage, is what it is."
"Really?"
"The graphics are crap, you don't have any objectives, no characters, just you, a guy. With nothing on him, punching stuff."
"Sounds cool!"
"I mean punching stuff like trees, ground, stone, straw. Punch this, punch that, punch everything!"
"I don't see anything wrong with that."
"I thought you like punching stuff?"
"But it takes forever, and you get blocks from punching! I got so many blocks that I made a house out of it! Then I learned you can build stuff, so I built a shovel, sword, pickaxe, armor and then I got bored and started digging a hole..."
"Were you a dwarf?"
"Yes and no. I kept digging, getting blocks, sometimes coal or ores or diamonds, but monsters kept appearing so I slashed them with a sword. But then it broke, so I made another, I dug more, broke more swords, made more and on and on and on..."
"Couldn't you just stop playing?"
"I can't! I'm trying, but I keep. On. Digging! WHY IS THIS SO ADDICTIVE!"
"There, there." Moony gently hugged Sunny, who for once, didn't push her away. Oh hey, it's me, narrator! I haven't written anything in a while, how are you guys... good? Cool. Me? I'm fine, thank you for aski--
"Ehem" Oh, right, not my story. Sorry, carry on, girls. "Right, my experience with gaming was a bit less traumatizing. A bit. The game I played recently is called XCOM. It's about an organization that protects humanity from alien attacks and it's rather difficult, tactical but somewhat random, so even with best laid plans you can't be sure what happens. I made a terrible mistake of naming all my soldiers after my family and friends. And seeing Moondancer die in an explosion wasn't exactly the highlight of my playthrough."
"Sounds fun to me!"
"Sure it does."
"I stopped playing when Shining Armor lost his head after a nasty critical hit."
"Ouch!"
"The game's still fun, but I don't feel like going back."
"That's what you get when you play Ironman mode."
"Stupid RNG bullcrap..."
"You think that's bad? Wait till you hear what I’ve been through!”
“Moondancer, you’ve been only playing dating sims!”
“I got more than I expected. I thought it was just about getting the girl, or the guy in some cases, with some nice, sexy artwork as a reward for all the hard work…”
“You’re literally choosing a speech bubble every ten minutes! That’s not a challenge!”
“…but it turns out they’re a lot more than that! I came for drawn boobs and stuff, but most of the time I got a really engaging, interesting story that kept me glued to the screen in anticipation of events to follow! At some point I was so into the story that I clicked through the sex scene just to find out what happens next!”
“Those are some rare words.”
“You girls should try them. It’s like reading a good book with pretty pictures, occasionally some voice acting and once in a while you’re given a choice where the story will go next! And as for the porn bits, most of them are pretty tame. Some games give you an option to turn them off completely!”
“Huh, interesting.”
“Not that I ever used it.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“The problem came when I grabbed one particular game…”
“Oh?”
“And I started playing like I normally would, trying to get everybody, like I would in real life, but it… b-backf-fired…”
“Moonie, you okay?”
“It w-went… ho-ho-horribly wrong!”
“Woah, are you crying?”
“H-how w-was I su-supposed to know? I-I di-didn’t expect somethi-thing like THAT from a title like “School Days”! It-it sounded so inno-innoc-innoce--WAAAAAH!"
"Damnit, it made Moondancer cry!"
“Woah, Moonie, it's okay, it's alright!”
"WAAAAAH!"
“Oh brother. Umm, let’s take a short break!”
On it!
"You feeling better now?"
"Y-yeah, I'm fine. Next question, please."
Silver Nightshade #askmaresketeers ...Well this is awkward, Um, what is, and this is for all three of you, your favorite type of Muffin?
"I think blueberry."
"Chocolate chips."
"I don't have a preference, so let's say, uh, white chocolate?"
#askmaresketeers (Opens a box with aforementioned muffins for each mare before dashing out of the audience hall, leaving the box with them.) Why am I lame?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
"Huh... that guy is definitely a loony!"
"He's not that bad. Free muffins! NOM!"
"NOM!"
"NOM!"
Eyeswirl the Weirded asks #askmareskateers Sunny, how the did anypony convince you to wear a maid outfit and call other ponies master? At the same time?
"Yeah, Sunny, how WERE you convinced?"
"Sh-shut up! Not talking about it!"
"Moonie, how did you convince her to do it?"
"I didn't have anything to do with it."
"W-wait, what?"
"I was going to, but she was already on board when I got to her."
"Curious. Care to elaborate, Sunset?"
"T-there's nothing to talk about. I... I just felt like it. I was sleepy and tired and I didn't know what I signed and SHUT UP!"
"Hmm... nope, not buying it."
"Me neither."
"Sunset Shimmer we all know would never JUST agree to something like that. There's a catch."
"No, there isn't, next question!"
"Yes, there is! Now fess up!"
"No!"
"Come on, Sunset Shimmer!"
"Come on, Sunny!"
"Ugh, fine! I did it... because Princess Celestia asked me! I was going to work in the kitchen, but Princess Celestia specifically asked me to wear the maid outfit! She said it would attract crowds, help me with fixing my reputation and that... that I looked good in it. And when your mentor, idol and ruler asks you something, puppy eyes and all, you don't just say no."
"...oh."
"That makes all the sense."
"Can we stop talking about it?"
"She was right thought. You looked amazing in that costume."
"Sooooo cute!"
"One of these days, I'll do it, I swear..."
Solarkness asks Hashtag AskMareSketeers This question goes to all of you:
You were able to send us pictures of you facepalming, so you could in theory send us your mental picture you see each day before going to bed.
"Sure thing! Here's what we see every day before we go to sleep!"
"What, were you expecting something else?"
"Pervert!"
Oh, and have you ever heard of something called a Tantabus? I remember reading about it, but not which book it was... I'd like to read a bit about it.
"Hmm... I've heard the name, but I can't really put my hoof on where it was. I'll get back to you when I fi--"
"Tantabus- an amorphous creature of blue starry smoke that infests and feeds on ponies' dreams, turning them into nightmares; it hasn't been seen in many centuries, some scholars treat it as a myth. Not much else is known about it."
"...well, there you go. Thank you, miss Exposition."
"My pleasure."
How do Timberwolves work? How are they animated, could I in theory make my own Timberwolf-monster friend?
"We could try explaining it to you, but they're hard to grasp by talented unicorns, let alone magic-less beings."
"It's magic. It's hard to explain."
Iamawesome asks #askmaresketeers: Do you have any idea why about half the questions you get are about either Moondancers sexuality, or the question why Twilight isn't as sexually active as Moondancer? With you two it's not like one couldn't guess the answers without asking you.
"I'd say that most of you are perverted creeps is the reason."
"Not that there's anything wrong with that! I'm a perverted creep and Sunny loves me anyway."
"...sure, whatever."
"I find it strange that you guys have such a hard time grasping that just because we're complete opposites in one aspect, that we can't be friends."
"Yeah, just beause I'm slutty and Twily isn't, doesn't mean I think of her any less. I wish she was a bit more outgoing, though."
"I wish you put more attention into your studies and magic."
"I wish you were a bit less uptight and embraced your inner party girl."
"I wish you stopped embarrasing us all the time."
"If only."
"That doesn't answer the original question! But I wish for those things, too."
Mustache Merlin #askmaresketeers To all three of you: In a hypothetical situation where the world Moondancer saw in her dreams was actually real and you had the opportunity to meet your alternate selves, what would you do? What would you tell them?
"I think I would start with asking who her new friends are? Maybe Shiny met some of them in Ponyville, who knows, maybe we could become friends too!"
"My human self... huh, I never really thought about it. I guess I would ask some basic questions, like what's the food like there, do they always wear clothes, what do they learn in school. You know, human knowledge from the perspective of somepony who knew both worlds."
"I would say A LOT of things to my other self, but before any of that, I want to RIP that hairband out of her hair, get her out of that sweater and make herself presentable, is what I would do! Look, I get that different me is more into studies than mating, but that doesn't mean she has to look like a troll! I mean, Sunny and Twily here are at the top of the class and they look stunning!"
"Damn straight!"
"Ehehe, I'm not that pretty..."
"Damn straight!"
"SUNSET!"
DING DING DING!
"It's that sound again! We ran out of time."
"And words."
"Well, this one was pretty uneventful, other than relieving our game-induced traumas."
"Moondancer, please don't tell me you're going to cry again."
"No, I'm fine. As long as I won't think about it, I should be ay-okay... crap, I'm thinking about it!"
"Moonie, no!"
"I... I can't... unthink... the... WAAAAAH!"
"Oh for the love of Celestia's plot!"
"Okay, thanks for reading another episode of..."
"One more word and you'll join her!"
"WAAAAAH!"
"...of you know what, send more questions with a hashtag askmaresketeers, now if you excuse us, we have a friend to hug."
"Great, just fantastic!"
"WAAAAAH!"
"Bye, bye!"