Chapter 3
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“And when comparing those adjustments to the formulas presented in Starswirl’s finding—”
“STOP!”
Twilight pauses after what has been hours of her non-stop talking about the history of Starswirl the Bearded, looking at me with slight annoyance and confusion.
I’m splayed out on the over my desk, my hooves in my ears, groaning. When I’d asked just who this Starswirl the Bearded (I still think that is the weirdest name I’ve heard yet in this world) I’d felt a jerking motion followed by a comprising feeling, the world had gone dark for a moment and suddenly found myself in, not Applejack’s living room anymore, but some kind of crystalline room that looked like it had been designed as a lecture room like those in colleges and universities, with myself somehow sitting in one of the rows of seats facing the front of the room.
At the front of the room, Twilight stood in front of the biggest blackboard I have ever seen in my life, with writing already on there, but, before I could even get a word out of my mouth, she launched into a lecture about the guy.
It felt like hours, but it was probably only a few minutes, before she paused long enough for me to be heard.
“Yes, Ken?” she asks, cocking her head. “Is there something you wanted to say?”
I groan, sitting up, giving her a deadpan expression. “Just because I look like you, sound like you, am now the same species and gender as you, it doesn’t mean I want to learn this stuff you’re so clearly passionate about.”
It was clear to me that Twilight Sparkle is, in every possible definition of the word, a bookworm. The moment she started talking I felt like I had trying to learn things that are common knowledge to me now, but as a child, caused my brain to blank after a few words.
Twilight’s expression became slightly panicked. “What? But, how can you not love learning? I’ve never been able to get enough. You mean you don’t like studying?”
Was she not just paying attention? I just said our similarities didn’t mean we are exactly alike, didn’t I?
I scowl at her. “Twilight, you just told me, before whisking me away in what I can only assume was a teleportation spell— which, up until today, was something I did not think a possibility due to human science not being that advanced, thus having to wrap my head around it being so simple in this reality, which is still a trail, by the way— that I can’t go home!” I narrow my eyes at her. “Even if I did want to learn, do you honestly think I'd want to learn anything about this Starspiral pony when that is on my mind?”
She blinks, before frowning. “His name is Starswirl.” She sighs, looking down. “Sorry. I just... the idea of somepony not knowing who Starswirl the Bearded is and having a chance to tell them, somepony who looks and sounds just like me? I just...” she lowers her head. “Sorry.”
I sigh, shaking my head. “Twilight, I understand that you clearly like passing on knowledge,” I say, trying to get up, finding the position I’m in makes that hard when I’ve barely figured out this body. “Uh, little help?”
“Huh?” she looks up, pulled from whatever train of thought she’d been on and sees me struggle and blushes. “Oh, right. Sorry.”
Her horn close and I feel that jerking and compressing again, followed by the darkness, before I suddenly find myself directly across from the mare.
She looks away. “I’m really sorry, Ken. I... I completely forgot that you were dealing with the very likely possibility of never seeing you family again—”
Jeez. Talk about stating it bluntly. I have a feeling Twilight still needs to work on her social skills. Then again, maybe it’s just the fact I’m a being from another dimension that has an exact copy of her body that’s throwing her off.
“—and I’m kinda Starswirl’s biggest fan, so you indicated you had no clue who he was I—”
I stop her by putting a hoof over her mouth.
I give her a very tired expression. “Twilight... just stop. I know you mean well, but...” I sigh, looking away. “I... I need some time to just take this all in, okay? Is there anywhere I can stay?”
She nods and her horn glows.
I brace myself for another teleport, but only hear the sound of a door opening.
Turning my head, I see a wooden-crystalish door opening at the other end of the room.
I lower my hoof and look at her and suddenly feel a twisting of guilt in my gut.
The expression Twilight’s wearing is so sad, so depressed, my conscience starts beating me over the head with a rolled up news paper.
Sighing, I pull her into a hug. “Twilight, I... I’m sorry. I... I’m just overloaded at the moment, okay?”
She nods into my shoulder, before pulling away, her expression still dismayed. “I... I’ll have spike show you around. Spike?”
After she calls out I can hear the faint pitter patter of foot— I mean hoofsteps, if the Spike’s a pony, I need to use the right acronym, before a figure scurries into the room.
I blink in surprise for several reasons. One, my first term was right, as Spike is not a pony. Two, he’s some kind of lizard thing, with purple scales and a green underbelly.
I struggle not to deadpan. A purple pony princess with a purple lizard? What else is purple around here, the food?
Spike came in wearing an attentive expression, which turned to shocked confusion when the lizard laid slitted reptilian eyes on the both of us.
“Uh... Twilight?” it asks in a voice that sounds male, looking at me.
I shook my head, then nodded it towards the mare next to me.
He looked from me to her, his confused expression growing with each turn. “Um... did you figure out that duplication spell you pretended to use on Rainbow Dash or is she from the other world?”
I look to Twilight, who doesn’t meet my eyes. “Spike, this is Ken. She came from another world, but not the one where Sunset Shimmer is.”
A small part of my brain ticks. Twilight Sparkle, Starlight Glimmer and now Sunset Shimmer? Okay. How are these ponies not related to each other with name’s so God damn similar?! And what the hell is with the naming in this world?!
Spike sounds like the most normal name I’ve come across so far. And Spike’s normally the name you give a pet!
“Could you show Ken around the castle and find her a room to stay in?” Twilight said, slowly walking passed him towards the door.
“Uh... okay?” the little lizard says, looking the mare with concern. “Twilight are... are you okay?”
She pauses in the doorway. “I’m... I’m fine, Spike. I’ll be back after I’ve finished helping Applejack, like I promised.”
Her horn glows and she blinks out of existence.
I stare at where she’d been, feeling like a real jerk. Twilight was only trying to help me and I just went and made her feel bad about it.
“So...?” I’m pulled from my musings and look to the purple reptile. “Shall I show you around... Ken?” he shakes his head. “What a weird name?”
“Yeah, well, where I come from, Twilight Sparkle is a weird name,” I counter, walking up to him. “And, yeah. I’d really appreciate it.” My head and ears droop. “Since it seems I’m gonna be here a while, I should know my way around this place.”
Spike nods and I follow him out the room.
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“This is where I’ll be staying?” I stare, my mouth agape as I look around the room.
Its size alone is more than twice as big as my own room back home. The wall has a crystalline style, much like the rest of the castle that I’d seen on the way here, like the room Twilight teleported us into as well as the hallway we went down to get to this room.
There is a vanity by a triple set of draws, what looks like a study desk in the corner and the bed is the most fancy, four-poster bed I’ve ever seen, with red velvet covers and pillows that look so comfy I have a feeling I’d fall asleep the moment my head touched down on the top one.
A nightstand is sitting next to the bed on both sides, each holding a lamp (which I am going to assume runs on magic for the moment), despite there being a large chandelier in the middle of the ceiling.
“Well, yeah,” Spike said, shrugging, though looking curiously at me. “You’re the first pony to come and stay. Kinda had to settle into thing, you know, with Tirek attacking and everything?”
I blink, before glancing at him in confusion. “Tirek? Who the heck is that?”
The next few minutes are spent with Spike exlplain to me the history of a centaur (they have fucking centaurs here, too? What’s next, griffons?) who’d been banished to Tartarus (I paused him so he could explain what that was before metaphorically shitting myself when he explained what sounded a lot like Hell to me) for trying to steal the magic from Equestria’s ponies, then he escaped and did just that, but Twilight and her friends stopped him, restored the magic that had been taken and then Twilight got her castle.
“Wait,” I frown, as I look down at the little reptile. “You said this happened days ago, yes?”
He nods.
“So, what, Twilight’s castle just built itself?”
He shakes he head, laughing. “Nah. Castles don't build themselves. That’s just silly.”
I sigh. Well, at least some things are making following a sense of logic I can understand in this world.
“It grew from the crystal box that came from the Tree of Harmony and grew to all this in a few seconds.”
Well, it was nice while it lasted.
Before that thought can hold me for long though, I feel a pair of hooves wrap around my neck.
“What’re you two still doing here? You’re gonna miss the party?”
FUCKING HELL! I’ve somehow leapt up onto the chandelier, all four of my legs wrapped around it, breathing rapidly, my eyes wide. At this rate I’m going to die of a fear-induced heart attack!
How the hell did that pink pony just do that? How the fucking hell did she just be behind me a second after I turned around, without my seeing her before? How did she get into this room without myself or Spike ever noticing?
“Hey, that looks like fun.” I glance down, only to see said pink mare bouncing bellowing me, the most innocent smile on her face. “But you can’t go to your party up there.” She blinks, then gasps. “Maybe you could. I’ve never thought of a throwing a Hanging on the Chandelier Party. Do you wanna try that for another time?”
Is this pony making fun of me, or is she just insane?
“Come on!” she cheers, bouncing up, somehow grabbing me and pulling me down, then grabs Spike and bounces, before letting us go again.
I turn to her, about to ask what the hell she’s doing... but the words die in my throat and all that comes out is a strained, “Uh?”
We’re not in the room in the castle anymore. Where in some kind of wide open area that kind of reminds me of cafes. It’s decorated with streamers and balloons. There’s several table with bowls filled with what looks like punch and another table covered in more pasties than I even thought existed.
In the middle of them all was a giant, almost wedding-like cake, covered in brown frosting with purple icing around the edges.
I’d be lying if I said my mouth isn’t watering at the sight of that behemoth of a cake.
However, those thoughts are drowned out and I go rigid as I hear the pink pony calling out. “Okay, everypony! The guest of honour is here! Everypony say hi to Princess Twinlight!”
At once, every eye is on me and I wilt from the gaze of what I now see is a large assortment of ponies, as well as I think a few mauls and two donkeys, and maybe a cow or two?
They’re all staring at me with wide eyes, some with fear.
It’s not until I hear a voice I am now very familiar with since it is also my own now, squeak from behind me and I realize we’re about to have a repeat of the changeling scene from Applejack’s farm.
“No need to panic ponies—” Oh, I think there’s plenty to panic about, you pink whatever you are, “—she’s not a changeling. Twilight cast the spell and proved it. She's also not from the mirror pool, either. She’s just a pony who happens to be Twilight’s double in every physical and magical way.”
Oh, yeah. Because that explanation doesn’t sound the least bit unlikely. Not at all. I’m sure every single creature here is going to just accept her saying that and—
My jaw drops as I am suddenly assaulted by verbal greetings from everyone within the room, all of them seeming totally okay with what they were just told.
My right eye twitches. A copy of one of their rulers just appears out of nowhere, a pink pony tells them everything is fine... and they just go along with it?!
No fucking well in hell does this make even the slightest bit of sense! If something like this had happened back home, the government would’ve been called in, maybe even those running Area 51, there would’ve been arguments about forgery, plastic surgery, the works!
Why the hell were these ponies just accepting the fact I am in every way aside from mind and soul a copy of the purple Alicorn standing so close to me?!
HOW?!
My intent to demand an explanation from the pony I am now identical to is cut off, however, but Pinkie Pie suddenly appear in front of me and stuff what feels like cake into my mouth.
I’m taken aback, about to spit it out, when my eyes widen and find myself chewing, giving a small hum of delight.
Oh. My. God. This is the most delicious, perfect cake I’ve ever tasted in my whole life!
It’s moist, yet just enough, sweet, yet so creamy it isn’t too sweet. And the flavour... oh, GOD, the flavor! Never could I have thought a cake could taste like this and, without even thinking, I turn towards the table, intent to try the other confections on offer, to see if my tastebuds can be shown even more delight.
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“Oh,” I moan as Spike carries me into the room he’d shown me I’d be staying in on his back. The little guy sure is strong.
“Well, that’s what you get for trying to eat like you’re Pinkie Pie,” he half chuckles as we move towards my bed. “Not to mention we shoulda warned you which was the non-alcoholic punch.”
The party is honestly a bit of a blur. I remember talking with Twilight and Spike, as well as Applejack and Rarity, plus a bunch of other ponies that I can’t really remember any details about.
I do remember someone— somepony, I think it was Rarity, telling me Spike is not some ordinary lizard. He’s a baby dragon.
If I wasn’t already out of it thanks to that punch, I’m sure my brain would have given me something quippy to say about that, but it was fuzz then and is at the moment, so nothing yet.
Spike laughs as I flop down on the bed, not even moving. “Well, at the very least, after watching how you acted at the party after some punch, the town’s ponies aren’t scared of you like when Pinkie took us there.”
“I still can’t understand how she did that,” I finish with a groan, rolling to my side and putting my hooves to my stomach, curling into a ball.
Spike laughs again. “Yeah, I’d advise you don’t try. You’ll just give yourself more of a headache, and I don’t think that’d be wise now, or even later.”
I grumble something, I’m not even sure what, then just flopped completely on the bed again. “I’m gonna sleep now.”
I vaguely see Spike nod from my peripheral vision, before he closes the door, sealing the room in darkness, before my eyes close and I groan one last time as sleep slowly takes me.