//------------------------------// // Chapter 11 - Interrogation Tactics // Story: Portals. Portals Everywhere! // by Piece Bot //------------------------------// “Crikey. We need a tactical retreat.” Joseph said and fired a portal at the wall in front of him. Spinning to see the Everfree through a gap in the houses, he ran towards it. “What on Earth was that portal firing for!?” Crikey asked. “Shhh. I’ll just lose them and then go through the other portal when I’m safe.” Joseph whispered to Crikey, his voice shaking as he ran away. Looking over his shoulder, he saw that only four of the group was chasing him. Slowing down, he looked up, down and all around, trying to figure out where Pinkie Pie went. “Where did she go?” He let out a girly shriek as he saw the pony in question jump off a building and on to his face. “Oof!” Joseph let out a groan as the sudden weight caused him to fall flat on his back. “Girls! I got him!” Pinkie shouted happily, then growled at the human as he tried to get back up. Taking the hint, he laid back down and tried his best to breathe with a pony sitting on his chest. Hearing the other mares run up, he sighed and thumped his head against the ground. “What did ya do to the princess!?” Applejack snorted angrily, stomping her forehooves near his head. Accepting defeat, he puffed air out of his nose and answered. “I sent her to the moon.” He said simply, thinking they understood why he did that. “You what!?” Twilight shouted furiously. Apparently they didn’t. “Look, you know why I sent her to the moon? It was because she didn’t give me my voice back. She thought I was a child and let me go for three months without it. She even said herself that she would probably give me five months. And even then, she wasn’t certain she would have given it back.” Joseph replied, just as angry, getting tired from being sat on by a pink pony. “So you’re saying that you sent her to the moon because she didn’t give your voice back? She obviously did, if you ask me.” Rainbow interjected. “Argh! You don’t get it. She did give my voice back. Yes. But all of you saw how I was coping! I couldn’t leave my room for a month and after Twilight successfully coaxed me out, I spent the next couple of months trying to figure out how to communicate without waving my arms like a dipstick! It sucked! I have no idea how actual mutes handle it.” Joseph said, managing to cross his arms underneath Pinkie. “And will you get off me?” Joseph asked, looking at Pinkie with a death stare. “Nope. I’m staying right here.” Pinkie replied. “Why?” Joseph asked. “Because I don’t wanna.” Pinkie replied. Joseph narrowed his eyes and so did Pinkie. They stared at each other for a few moments before Twilight broke off the impromptu staring contest. “Pinkie, get off him. Joseph, you’re coming with me.” Twilight ordered and powered her horn up for a spell. Pinkie saluted and bounced off of him, causing Joseph to buckle and groan, rolling onto his side to keep the pain to a minimum. “WAAAAIII-” Crikey was cut off as Twilight shot her spell and engulfed both her and Joseph, along with his portal gun. This teleported them to Canterlot Castle. When they appeared in a puff of smoke, Crikey continued yelling until he realised where he was. “Joseph, look behind you.” Crikey whispered. Still groaning from Pinkie’s bounce, Joseph looked up and found a furious Celestia. “Oh hell.” Joseph muttered. Celestia lifted him up in her yellow smokey-magic thing that all the Unicorns seemed to have and glared at him. “Why did you send my sister to the moon?” “How many times do I have to say this!? It’s because she left me voiceless! Without a voice! Do you know how hard it is to not speak?” Joseph nearly shouted at the princess. “Me thinks she knows what the blue alipony was thinking when she cast that spell.” Crikey piped up. Joseph immediately shut his mouth and let the princess speak her mind. “You sent her because she didn’t give your voice back? But you clearly do have it.” Celestia continued, disregarding the potato. “Is there an echo in here?” Joseph wondered out loud. “Yes, I know I have it. I sent her there because she refused to give it back after three months. Even then, she was only convinced by both you AND Twilight. If she wasn’t convinced then she would have let it gone on for five months! She even said that it was a maybe.” Joseph reiterated, feeling blood rush to his brain as he was flipped upside down in Celestia’s magic. On the moon, Princess Luna walked around, seething in fury at Joseph. Hearing an excited yell from a ways above her, she looked up and found a spherical object with an orange moving eye and two handles on it. “Who are you?” Luna asked through gritted teeth. “SPAAAAAACE!” The orange ball answered. Luna facehoofed and groaned. “He stranded me with a daft thing and some moron.” Luna murmured, looking to the side and seeing a second sphere but this one had a blue eye. “I’m not a moron!” A british and slightly robotic voice sounded out from the ball. “At least he’s slightly more intelligent than that space ball.” Luna said quietly and raised an eyebrow. “What’s your name?” Luna wondered. “Wheatley! My name is Wheatley! Someone I can actually talk with!” Wheatley answered excitedly as he was clutched in Luna’s magic and brought closer to her. “How long have you been here?” Luna asked, looking at the sphere curiously. “No idea.” Wheatley said quickly. “Before you ask what I am, I am a personality core. I was meant to give GLaDOS a sense of … idiotness … yes, let’s go with that. I was meant to bring her IQ down by a whole bunch but it didn’t work.” Wheatley explained and saw the winged-horned pony’s confusion clear up. “Wait. GLaDOS. As in Aperture GLaDOS?” Luna asked in a suspicious tone. Wheatley’s eye widened in surprise. “You’ve heard of her?” Luna nodded. “I heard it from somepony a few months back. Didn’t think anything of it though. But if you know of GLaDOS, maybe you can help me?” Luna asked, her smile curving wickedly. The core moved it’s eye from side to side. “No can do princess. Sorry.” Wheatley apologised. “Ah. That’s a shame. Thought it would have worked. Want me to show you around?” Luna replied, her eyes sparkling at seeing two new friends she could keep company with in her sudden loneliness. “I’ve already been around this moon two thousand times. But one more won’t hurt.” Wheatley said quickly, seeing her face droop slightly. Luna perked up though and giggled a bit. “I wonder why I never noticed you before.” Luna said and lead the core around in her magic. After the three occupants in the room had calmed down, they all stood away from each other, not bothering to look at one another’s faces. Joseph could feel the tension in the air but it was shattered when Crikey blew a raspberry. “What was that for?” Joseph asked him. “Just wanted to defuse the tension.” Crikey answered. “Ok, look.” Joseph turned around to see the backs of both Twilight and Celestia. “I sent her to the moon because I was angry. That is the simple truth. Now that I have calmed down and thought about it, do you want me to bring her back?”Joseph asked with a heavy sigh. Both of them turned around with skeptical looks on their faces. “You willing to do that and face the wrath of my sister?” Celestia asked with caution. Joseph hung his head and nodded. Celestia gestured to the moon. Breathing out, Joseph opened the window. Looking up at the moon he poked his tongue out and fired off a portal. Seeing it flash after a few moments, he turned and shot another one at the wall furthest away from the ponies. Seeing a flash off in the distance, Luna dragged Wheatley along and took off after it. Nearing the swirling orange vortex, she found that it lead back to Canterlot Castle. Jumping in, she dragged Wheatley, who shouted in joy at finally going home and just because she couldn’t bear the sight of seeing that orange core all alone, Luna grabbed him too and pulled him through the portal before they fizzled close. “SPAAAAACE!” Space Core shouted in glee as it coasted to a stop in front of Joseph. “Oh no. Please don’t tell me-” Joseph winced as he heard a british voice yell in glee. “Oh great. Just great.” Joseph moaned and looked at the two personality cores in the room. “Now I have to deal with these two bozos.” Joseph grumbled. Celestia and Twilight were in shock at seeing the two spheres roll in after Luna made her rather ungraceful entrance as she had ended up falling face-first on the floor after jumping through. “Hey. They broke both Celestia AND Twilight! Goody!” Crikey said in glee. “Sure they did. And I see Luna isn’t getting up any time soon. I think this would be good to … run away!” Joseph shouted as he ran straight into a couple of guard ponies. “What now?” “We heard a disturbance and we wanted to … YOU!” One of the guard ponies shouted as he recognised the human. “Me? What did I do now!” “You sent our lady Princess Luna to the moon!” The other guard answered. “Oh not this rigmarole again, listen, mates! Look over there!” Joseph pointed to the princess in question. Once they looked, Joseph tried to make a bolt for it but instead was caught by some purple smoke magic. “Who…?.” Joseph sighed as he went limp, snoring quite loudly. Twilight breathed in and out as she finally took command of the situation. We just need to do something about these balls.” Twilight said, looking at the rather happy cores. She saw Luna groan but Celestia was still quite out of it. “I’ll take Joseph home as well as the cores. Is that okay with you Princess?” Twilight asked Princess Luna, who peeled her face off the floor and shook her head. “Wait. Take the orange one. Leave the blue one with me.” Luna said with a pleading look in her eyes. Twilight simply smiled and bringing the orange core over to her and Joseph and hearing him cough, she teleported them out of the room and back to the library. Luna directed the guards back to their posts and closed the doors after them. Walking over to her sister and shaking her head, she waved her hooves in front of Celestia. Seeing her eyes twitch slightly in response, she simply smiled and trotted off to her chambers, leaving the core with the shell-shocked Celestia. “Uuh, not that it’s anyone’s problem, but can somepony take me to someplace comfortable?” Wheatley asked at which Celestia screamed in utter terror. Hearing this, the guard’s burst back in only to see their princess fling some sort of ball away, making it roll to Luna’s room. “Princess, what did you just throw away?” The guard asked in a gruff voice. Celestia coughed and tried to regain at least some of her dignity back. “A grey ball. That’ll be all.” Celestia told her guard. Seeing that everything was fine again, he went back to his post outside the door. “At least the ball will make Luna happy.”