'You know, in spite of my condition, I had tried my best to keep up a strong bravado. Dealing with the memory loss, sudden bouts of anger, insomnia, and severe lapses in concentration, it hasn’t been an easy couple of months, but I thought that with the medication, and a sense of strong will, I would had at least got a handle on my condition. I knew I was living on borrowed time, but I just needed to live a few months more so I could hold our foal in my hooves at least once… unfortunately, despite everything… my plans always goes wrong… '
Grimoire was in Dr. Stable's room, awaiting the results.
"So, how are things, doc?" He asked. "Everything peachy-keen for now?"
"...I'm afraid not, Mr Napoleon." Stable sighed.
"What do you mean?" Grimoire asked.
"It appears the medication has... not delayed the disease's progress." Stable revealed. "In fact, the disease is accelerating."
"What?!" Grimoire spluttered. "But you said they would slow it down!"
"I'm sorry, Mr. Napoleon." Stable apologized. "Your condition is far more... aggressive than any others I've seen. Even our best meds can't hold it back any longer."
"Great, wonderful." Grimoire snorted. "Give me the bottom line, doc. I can take it."
"I'm afraid you have, at best, two months left to live." Stable confessed.
"Two months..." Grimoire felt as if he was plunging into a pitch black pit of ice water. "That's all?"
“I know it’s not much…” Stable began.
“Not much?!” Grimiore snarled, as he then lunged at him, pinning him against the wall. “Have you no idea how important it was that I live as long as I was supposed to?! My foal is going to be born in more than two buckin’ months! I subjected myself to these mind-wrecking medications so I could hold my new foal in my hooves, and now you’re telling me I won’t even have that?!”
“Mr. Napoleon, please, get a hold of yourself.” Dr. Stable gulped.
“How can I?!” Grimiore roared. “There is so much that I wanted to do before I die! "I wanted to go on one last vacation with my wife, make time for a special occassion with each of my brothers, spend more take with my daughter, take my grandfoals camping!"
"Well, I'm afraid you won't be able to do any of those things." Stable declared. "And assaulting me won't change any of that. Please, you have to calm down. You still have some time left, you know. Not much, but it should be enough to get your affairs in order."
Grimoire released Stable, and started to cry.
"Doc, I... I didn't mean to..." He sniffed.
"I know." Stable declared.
"I just... can't believe I have so little time left..." Grimoire despaired.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Napoleon." Stable sighed. "I truly am..."
'In that moment, my world shattered. Knowing that I suddenly had so little time left, I was overcome with a despair unlike any I ever felt before. It was one thing to have my brother murdered by Twitch, another to have my father sacrificed himself for our sake, even another to have my first wife pass away in my hooves… but this… this was happening to me. I was going to die. And there was nothing I could do to change that. And it only got better… as before I knew it, crap was about to hit the fan…’
Chapter Thirty-Three: Mad World
'The next month flew by in a haze of pain and sorrow. Every day, I would be subjected to pounding headaches and insomnia, memory lapses, and mood swings. It was like my body was preparing me for the end, reminding me that every passing second brought me closer and closer to my demise. And in retrospect, I don’t even know why I am bothering to write all this… there is no way I could ever finish this in two months, not with my shaking hooves, or my lapse in spelling… and even then… for once, I really lost my muse. I am only writing this because I feel that if I don’t, I would be giving you all the middle hoof. I figure I could give you the glimpse of what a pathetic stallion I had become…'
Grimoire sat in his study, head bowed, barely acknowledging the world around him. Oakley was by his side. The Timberwolf whined plaintively, instinctively knowing that something was wrong with his master.
Zecora also knew something was wrong. But Grimoire wasn't talking. He refused to discuss anything relating to his current condition with her.
"Grimoire, this has gone long enough." She declared. "I know that things have gotten rough."
"I don't know what you're talking about." Grimoire declared. "Everything's fine."
"Why won't you tell me what is true?" Zecora asked. "You must tell me, you must do!"
"I said, everything's FINE!!" Grimoire roared, trying his best to not break down. "Now get off my back please!"
Zecora was clearly hurt by Grimoire's outburst.
"Very well, I shall." Zecora nodded. "But you're on thin ice, pal."
“…I’m sorry.” Grimiore sighed. “You didn’t deserve that. I… I just… I can’t burden you with my problems.”
"I am your wife, husband dear, and I am always near." Zecora frowned. "If you will not tell me the source of your umbridge, then I wonder why we keep up this marriage."
“Zecora, please… you know I love you.” Grimiore sighed, his heart breaking to see the sadness in her eyes. “But that is why I can’t tell you… I do not want to be a burden on both you…” His eyes nearly teared up as he glanced at her pregnant belly. “…and our child.”
“Grim… I know you think you are trying to be strong and I know you love us… but I know what you say is quite debatable…” Zecora frowned. "If you want to talk, I'll be at the kitchen table."
Zecora left the room. Oakley whined once more.
“Please, don’t look at me like that.” Grimoire groaned. "It's better she doesn't know. I don't want her to go through the pain of knowing our time together is almost up. For Faust’s sake, she already lost one husband… and I can’t bear to see her lose me."
Oakley snuffled at Grimoire's hoof.
“I know, Oakley.” Grimiore slightly whimpered, as he patted his head. “You are one of the lucky ones. You Timberwolves get to live for centuries, and almost nothing can kill you. But for all it’s worth, I am glad I got to call you my dog.”
Oakley licked Grimoire's hoof.
"Thatta boy." Grimoire smiled. "You take good care of Zecora and the foal when I'm gone, you hear?"
Oakley gazed at Grimoire through doleful eyes, placing his head on his master's lap.
"Loyal to the end, huh?" Grimoire stroked.
Oakley closed his eyes, staying perfectly still. It was almost as if he knew how little time they had left.
Grimiore laid his head back, and let out a silent sob, knowing it wouldn’t be long now…
'While I was wallowing in self-pity with my faithful companion, something else was going on. My brothers had been known to get into bad situations… but in one day… all of them would get caught up in one.'
Murray was with Cavallo in the Mayor's office, having a chat with his old friend.
"A demolished clock tower, damaged town hall, several gazebos wrecked by giant hailstones due to a slip-up with the weather measurements...” Cavallo groaned. “Good Faust, what the buck is up with this town? I had never seen this much problems back in Roam my entire term as I did in these few months. Is this place cursed or something?”
“Well, Ponyville didn’t gotten itself on the map because of it’s annual veggie float parade.” Murray shrugged. “There was Nightmare Moon, the stampedes, the Parasprites, the whole Mare-Do-Well incident, and remember that this place was taken over by a chaos god and a showmare hopped on some evil amulet, and was demolished during a fight between Tirek and an Alicorn with the powers of all four Princesses, and there’s the bugbear… and let's not forget Starlight Glimmer. No wonder housing prices here are so cheap..."
"Well, at least there isn't much in the way of organised crime." Cavallo said jokingly. "That was always a major headache back home."
"Oh, that's real nice." Murray smirked.
"No offense, you guys were useful to have around." Cavallo admitted. "But the paperwork..."
*SHINK!*
In an instant, a window shattered, as a bolt clipped Murray’s shoulder, prompting a pained gasp from the stallion, as the bolt embedded itself in Cavallo’s chair, right by his forehead.
“Holy shitake mushroom!” Cavallo screamed, as he ducked under his desk.
"Assassination attempt!" Murray gasped, as then more bolts began firing through the broken window. “Get down!”
Murray immediately took cover behind the front of the desk, as bolts went flying through.
“Oh, Faust, I didn’t do anything!” Cavallo whimpered through the wood separating the two.
“Don’t worry, sir, I got this!” Murray reassured, as he then use his magic to instantly warp a crossbow into his hooves.
Murray lay in wait, as the sniper used up all his bolts. And when he did...
"Should've brought a back-up clip." He smirked.
Moving fast, Murray rolled over to under the broken window, and with quick thinking of the trajectory of the fired bolts, aimed his crossbow right at a suspicious bump in the straw roof of a nearby building. It was rather hard to see for a normal pony, but Murray was no fool to how snipers work.
“Gotcha!” Murray snarled.
With a well-placed shot, he fired at the hidden bump, as an “Ugh!” was made. The bump gave way to reveal an Earth Pony stallion, wearing a straw-coated shawl, with a bolt in his head, and a scope-equipped crossbow in his hoof as he tumbled from the roof and into the alley next to the building.
"I see your aim is as impeccable as always." Cavallo smiled with relief as he peeked from his hiding spot.
"Stay down." Murray instructed. "He might have friends. I'll go take a closer look."
“Don’t have to tell me twice.” Cavallo frowned, as he ducked back in.
Murray walked out onto the street, crossbow poised, glancing all around for any other snipers. Deciding there were no others, Murray lowered his weapon, and went to inspect the corpse. As he glanced closely, he saw a photograph in the sniper's hoof. Murray pulled it out, and was shocked to see it was a picture of himself, and taken recently no less.
"I was the target, not Cavallo?" Murray gaped. "But... why?"
Meanwhile, over in Canterlot, Sonny was working in the kitchen at his restaurant, cooking a new dish.
"Excuse me, sir." One of the kitchen's 'taste testers', a Unicorn with a lemon yellow coat brown eyes and blue mane walked over, a plate of garlic goulash hovering beside him. "Would you mind tasting this? There's an odd flavor in here that I just can't place..."
"Of course." Sonny nodded. He dipped a spoon in the ghoulash, and raised it to his mouth. Just before he put the spoon in his mouth, his nose picked up a miniscule, yet unmistakable scent. "Wait... that's... arsenic!"
The taste tester, realizing he was found out, grabbed a kitchen knife, and charged at Sonny.
"Die!" He roared.
"Tut, tut." Sonny caught the knife midswing. "Do you know nothing of proper etiquette? You don't use a butter knife to stab somepony."
Sonny pulled the knife out of the tester's hoof. As the tester attacked again, he slammed him in both temples with his hooves.
"Yahh!" The tester grabbed his head. "You stinking-"
The tester struck Sonny in the face.
"That's it." Sonny declared. "You're fired!"
The two engaged in a major hoof fight. Despite his gentle nature, Sonny dominated his foe. After bringing him down with a double-hooved slam to the top of the head, Sonny lifted the would-be killer off the ground, and over to one of the kitchen's ovens.
"What are you-" The tester struggled.
"I told you you were 'fired', didn't I?" Sonny sneered.
"No, don't!" The tester pleaded.
His pleas fell on deaf ears. Sonny punched him in the head, knocking him out, then shoved him into the oven. His body burst into flames, his singed carcass strewed across the oven.
"Sonny?" Bon-Bon walked into the kitchen. "What's going on in here?"
"Oh, nothing." Sonny shrugged. "Just a little altercation between employer and employee. By the way, we're going to need a new oven."
Sonny then noticed something on the floor, something that had fallen out of the thug's chef outfit during the struggle. It was a picture of Sonny.
"What's this?" He frowned.
Not so long afterward, Salt was working his orderly shift at Ponyville General. His bum hoof has been healing up quite well since he began nursing. Not to mention, he had found himself him quite enjoying his job as an orderly. Helping ponies feel better gave him just as much of a buzz as hurting them did.
He entered the lift, intent on getting some fresh rolls of bandages from the storage room in the ground floor. A single beige coated, white maned Pegasus stallion was already inside.
"Mornin'." Salt said nonchalantly.
"Morning." The stallion nodded.
As the lift descended, it picked up more and more passengers from each floor, all burly stallions. Out of the corner of his eye, Salt saw them glancing at each other. He turned away, and saw them glancing at him out of the corner of their eyes. He saw the stallion next to him grip something in his jacket. He realised what was about to happen...
"Before we start this..." He said suddenly. "Does anypony want to get off?"
The stallion nearest to the control panel hit the emergency stop.
"Suit yourselves." Salt sighed.
The Pegasus lunged at Salt, who grabbed his punch and flung him into the two thugs behind them. Two more ponies jumped at him, but he leapt up and did the splits, kicking them both at once. The stallion next to him tried to slap hoofcuffs on him. However, he only got one before Salt knocked him out. Another stallion leapt at him, but Salt backhooved him, breaking the cuffs.
"You rotten little..." The Pegasus rushed him.
Salt punched the Pegasus in the stomach. A picture of Salt fell out of the thug's jacket.
"I see somepony's a fan." Salt remarked as he picked up the picture.
"Rahhh!" The Pegasus raised both hooves.
Salt tackled his foe, lifted him off the floor, and tossed him at two others, knocking them down. Unfortunately, the other thugs were starting to recover.
One of the thugs grabbed Salt's good hoof, forcing him to fight with his bad one. Another thug smirked broadly, believing the weak hoof would be far less effective.
"Nice plan, guys.. not!" Salt yelled, knocking the smirking thug out with a single punch. "Too bad for you, my hoof's been doing much better lately."
Proving his point, Slot grabbed the thug holding his other hoof and flipped him.
"Come on!" The Pegasus spat. "He's only one stallion!"
Realising he couldn't fend off his foes forever, Salt hit upon a new plan. As another stallion charged him, he leapt on his back, then sprang off him and grabbed on to the top of the lift. He pulled at the hatch, and emerged atop the lift.
"You can't get away from us, Napoleon!" The Pegasus spat.
"I beg to differ." Salt smirked, pulling out a knife (he always kept one on him, just in case). "You guys are going down... literally!"
Salt wedged himself into the shaft's corners with his back hooves, and started sawing away at the lift's cable.
"What the... no!" The Pegasus yelled. He flew up to try and stop Salt, but was punched back down for his troubles. He landed on his fellow assassins, crashing into a heap.
Up above, the knife finally cut through the cable, and the lift dropped like a stone, the thugs inside screaming in terror.
"Next stop... ground floor." Salt smirked.
The lift crashed down at the bottom of the shaft, killing its passengers instantly.
"Guess I owe this place a new lift." Salt shrugged, as he slowly slid down the shaft. He glanced at the photo of himself. "And I owe somepony a butt-kicking..."
Back in Canterlot, Lars was busy grading papers (as part of his role as a teacher at Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns), when he peered out of the classroom window, and noticed an older schoolgirl playing a recorder out by a tree.
"Hmm, what's this?" He frowned. "Not exactly school hours..."
Lars went out to the tree to speak to the mare.
"Pardon me, miss." He cleared his throat. "Might I ask what you're doing here?"
"Um, hi..." The mare giggled, bearing a strong Trottingham accent. "Can I call you Lars the great? Lars the awesome? Lars the incredible?"
"Excuse me?" Lars frowned.
"Sorry." The mare gushed. "I've just... always been a fan. I've heard all about what you did back in the day. So hardcore!"
"I'm, um... flattered." Lars said awkwardly.
"Oh no..." The mare grimaced. "I feel really nervous. I think I'm gonna puke... OMG, I bet you hate girls who puke!"
"Honestly, I've never really thought about it." Lars admitted.
"Don't stare at me!" The mare giggled. "You're staring at me... Anyway, I wrote down all my feelings in a letter." She pulled out a letter. "Here."
"Your feelings?" Lars gulped.
"Take it!" The mare shoved the paper at him. "Take it, or I'll totally die!"
"Okay, thanks..." Lars said, massively uncomfortable.
"Aren't you gonna read it?" The mare asked.
"Read it?" Lars frowned. "Now? Here?"
"Yes!" The mare nodded. "You have to read it out loud, just for LOLs. I wrote a song dedicated to Lars the great." She held up her flute. "So you read, and I'll play it on my flute, okay?"
"...You're joking, right?" Lars gaped. "Read this here?"
"Here we go." The mare smiled. "Get into it."
The mare started playing. Humoring her, Lars started to read.
"'To my dearest Lars the great'." He said aloud. "'Hi there, Lars the great. I am the mare who loves you the most in the entire world. Your studies into ‘human’ has always been a major inspiration to me. Like, I thought I was the only one who believed in humans. But you proved me wrong. But in order to prove I'm your number one fan, I need some kind of evidence. No matter how much I insist I'm your number one, any other chick can come along and say the same thing. That's why I've decided that I have to become strong. In doing so, I knew I'd someday put myself closer to you. Putting my position as Lars the great's number on fan on the line, I embarked on this path, and ended up winning the international assassin student championship. Oh, in case you had miss that part, I am indeed an assassin. It’s hush-hush, so you hadn’t heard of the school. I really did my best, but you know, in hindsight, it was a cinch. I guess I'm just blessed. I can master in one day techniques that would take others years to do. And then I got greedy. A new urge, a vision, that maybe I could win a fight against Lars the great. Then this creepy guy comes to me with a mission…and I couldn’t pass it up. My new mission? To behead Lars the great, therefore surpassing my hero. Oops, did I actually write that? It's kind of embarrassing, you know. Well anyways, I've made up my mind. I took an oath. I won't be beat by anypony. I will defeat Lars the great in battle. Only then will Lars the great become mine, and mine only. Love, Lars the great's number one fan. Kimmey Cowl'."
Kimmey stopped playing, and smiled at Lars.
"Okay, so much for the dose of innocence..." Lars cringed, “I didn’t think I would have an admirer.”
“Yeah… I know you're married and everything, but I really like your work.” Kimmey sighed. “And this is going to be awkward…” She twisted her flute, causing blades to come out of both ends. "I'm going to have to kill you. Sorry."
"Oh, buck!" Lars yelped.
Kimmey swung her flute at Lars, who ducked.
"Ooh, you're quick." Kimmey smiled. "But not quick enough!"
"I beg to differ." Lars ducked another swing.
Lars might not have been armed, but he had his greatest weapon: His mind. He dipped and rolled around Kimmey's swings, maneuvering her back to the tree.
"You want my head?" He asked. "Give it your best shot!"
"With pleasure." Kimmey smiled.
Kimmey swung her blade. Lars ducked, and the blade got stuck in the tree. Lars brought his hoof down, breaking it in two.
"No fair!" Kimmey yelled, flipping the flute around.
In that split-second, Lars had the opening to kick the other half out of Kimmey's hooves.
"Ready to surrender?" Lars asked.
Kimmey kicked Lars in the face.
"Are you joking?" She giggled. "This is even better!"
"...Very well, then." Lars growled. "Time to take you to school."
The two engaged in hoof-to-hoof combat. Kimmey was younger and faster, but Lars had strength, precision, and experience on his side. Before long, he had Kimmey on the ropes.
"This has been so great." Kimmey smiled, sporting several bruises. "So much fun..."
"Fun?" Lars asked. "You think this is some kind of game?"
"Oh, yeah." Kimmey nodded.
"Wrong. This is a real fight, with real consequences." Lars declared, punching Kimmey out.
"Lars the great..." Kimmey gurgled, as she lost consciousness.
From out of Kimmey's pocket, a photo of Lars slipped (with a lipstick mark on it).
"Hmm..." Lars frowned.
Seconds later, Lars called in some operatives, and had them take Kimmey away for questioning.
Over at Blazin' Blues, it was relatively quiet. Vinny and Blue were tending to the bar, with Mist being at the castle with Tempest, her and Blue’s son.
"Yo, partner, think you can fetch some schnapps?" Blue asked Vinny. "We're running a little dry."
"Sure." Vinny nodded. "I think we have some more in the backroom."
As Vinny exited, a gray-coated, crimson-maned Unicorn stallion entered.
"Afternoon, sir." Blue smiled. "How may I serve you today?"
"By clamming up." The stallion pulled out a crossbow.
"Whoa, no." Blue gulped. "Let's just relax...if it’s money you want, I have a register full of-"
"Quiet, punk." The stallion spat. "I've got a job to do, and I don't need witnesses."
The stallion fired the crossbow. Blue, honed by natural reflexes, tried to dodge, but the bolt caught him in the shoulder.
"Ahhh!" Blue yelled, leaning against the bar in agony.
"What did I just say about you being quiet?" The stallion readied another bolt.
At that moment, Vinny returned.
"I got the-whoa!" He yelped, taking in the scene. "What's going on here?"
"Ah." The stallion pointed his crossbow at Vinny. "Just the stallion I wanted to see."
The stallion fired the crossbow. Vinny dived under the bar, still carrying the schnapps in his arms.
"Come on out, Napoleon." The stallion spat. "Otherwise, I might get bored, and shoot your pal again."
"Okay, fine." Vinny stood up slowly, his hooves behind his back.
"I see you're holding something." The stallion remarked. "You think a bottle is gonna help you?"
"No." Vinny admitted. "But this might!"
Vinny swung a baseball bat (which he always kept behind the bar for dealing with rowdy customers) and knocked the crossbow out of the stallion's hooves.
“Whoa, you move fast for a fatass!” The thug frowned.
“Well, how about for a minor league batter!” Vinny snarled.
“Wha-“ The thug was about to say something, before Vinny swung his bat at his head, knocking him out.
“Ouch.” Blue cringed.
“Sorry about that. I hate it when I get called a fatass.” Vinny sighed, “Are you going to be okay, Blue?”
“Yeah, I think so.” Blue grimaced. “But nice shot. Ever thought of going pro?”
"Nah, not my style." Vinny shrugged.
"Who is this guy?" Blue asked.
"Beats me." Vinny shrugged. He came out of the bar to investigate. "Hold up..." He saw something sticking out of the stallion jacket; A photo of him.
"Oh, boy..." He frowned.
Back in Ponyville, Slot arrived home, listening to music on his headphones. He went up to the bedroom to relax, only to find a very attractive Earth Pony mare lying on the bed. She had a tangerine coat, long black mane, green eyes, and a nutcracker Cutie Mark.
"Whoa." Slot gaped, pulling off the headphones. "...What the buck are you doing in my house?"
"You, hopefully." The mare purred. "What say you and I have a little fun?
"Look, miss..." Slot started.
"Nutonia." The mare smiled. "Nutonia Cracker."
"Nutonia." Slot frowned. "I don't know what kind of game you're playing, but I'm happily married."
"What wifey doesn't know won't hurt her." Nutonia smirked.
“Make that two wifeys, lady.” Slot growled, “Look, I’m flattered, but I know better than to think some mare broke into my house just to go to bed with me… I'm not falling for that again."
"Don't sell yourself short, handsome." Nutonia cooed.
"Sorry, but I'm not interested. And if you won't leave, I'll make you leave." Slot grabbed her hoof, trying to pull her off the bed.
"Wrong!" Nutonia suddenly flipped Slot onto the bed. She then pounced on him, locking her back legs around his midsection.
"What are you-" Slot started. Nutonia suddenly squeezed her legs tightly in an attempt to crush his hips. "Ahhhh!"
"Ohhh, does it hurt?" Nutonia grinned. She pulled out a giant pair of scissors. "Poor baby. It'll be over soon."
“What?! Scissors and killer hips?! Overkill, lady, overkill!” Slot roared, trying to push her off, only for hips to squeeze tighter. “Ahhhhh!” He was spasming.
"Just a little off the top..." Nutonia smirked, lowering the scissors down to Slot's neck. “Prepare to die… Mr. Napoleon.”
Just before Nutonia could finish the deed, Vinyl and Octavia suddenly walked into the room.
"Slot we're ho- what the?!" Vinyl yelped.
"Huh?" Nutonia turned to them, “Two wives?! The little pony was serious?!”
"What's going on?" Octavia asked.
"Not... what it... looks like..." Slot groaned. "I'm not even touching her, look!" He held up his hooves.
"Of course not." Vinyl declared. "She's trying to kill you!"
"Not on our watch!" Octavia growled.
"Back off!" Nutonia swung her giant scissors.
Vinyl leapt at Nutonia, trying to pull her off Slot, but Nutonia headbutted her.
"That's it." Nutonia growled. "Forget the scissors. I'll just squeeze the life out of him."
Nutonia's legs tightened further.
"Urrrghhhh..." Slot groaned, feeling his bones starting to break. “Not like this… anything but this…”
"No!" Vinyl yelled
"You can't!" Octavia looked around in a panic, spotting one of Slot's crossbows on the floor. She picked it up and point it at Nutonia. "Die, you witch!"
Having never fired a crossbow before, Octavia's aim was wild. The bolt flew up and struck the antler-based chandelier (which was Slot’s idea, after he had won a rather… risqué bet with his wife) hanging from the ceiling.
"Ha!" Nutonia sneered. "Is that the best you've-"
One of the chains holding up the chandelier snapped, as it swung and knocked Nutonia off Slot, skewering her, as she hung limply in midair.
"Guhhh..." Nutonia gurgled.
"Nice shot." Vinyl told Octavia.
"And you gals said an antler chandelier was a bad idea." Slot said breathlessly. "Looks like I'm owed an apology." He tenderly felt his midsection. “Oh, crap, I now know how that guy from the James Buck films felt.”
"Hold on." Octavia examined Nutonia's corpse. "She's got a picture of you."
"Me?" Slot gulped. “Oh no, this is not good.”
Over in Canterlot again Caboose and Fletcher were on patrol. So far everything had seemed peaceful, enough for the two to make idle conversation.
"Things are pretty quiet today, huh?" Caboose asked. "Almost boring, actually."
"I actually prefer quiet days." Fletcher shrugged. "It means everything is going well."
"Speaking of, how are you and Dove?" Caboose asked.
"We're doing great." Fletcher smiled. "In fact... I wanted to ask if you'd... be the best stallion at his wedding."
"Really?" Caboose asked, surprised.
"Really." Fletcher nodded. "I can't think of anypony more deserving."
"In that case, I'll do it." Caboose nodded.
"Look at us..." Fletcher smirked. "I remember when we couldn't stand each other. How far we've come."
"Yeah, remember when we were always arguing about protocol and all that?" Caboose asked.
"Or how to handle the perps?" Fletcher grinned.
"Or the time I filled your helmet with old porridge?" Caboose chuckled.
"...Wait, that was you?" Fletcher frowned.
"...Whoops." Caboose gulped.
Fletcher glared at Caboose... then burst out laughing. Relieved, Caboose joined in.
"You really got me good!" Fletcher laughed.
"I sure did!" Caboose snorted. "Just like the time-"
“Hold up.” Fletcher cut Caboose off. He gestured over to a skinny green Unicorn donning a large jacket, obviously not large enough to conceal the fact that he was carrying something in it. "You see that, Lieutenant?"
"Sure do, Cap." Caboose nodded. "Either the guy is seriously malformed or…” He then shared a worried look. “He has a bomb under that jacket.”
"Let's make sure and hope it’s the former." Fletcher declared. "Halt! Royal Guard!" He yelled, as they rushed over to the stallion.
The stallion silently cursed as he darted down the street.
"Love me a chase scene." Caboose smiled.
The pair chased their quarry down the back streets of Canterlot. The Unicorn was just barely able to stay ahead of them. As they neared an old building, Fletcher leapt at the stallion, tackling him to the ground.
"Oohhhh!" Caboose groaned. "He's gonna feel that one tomorrow!"
"Get up." Fletcher forced the stallion to his hooves, making sure to keep him from touching the bomb.
"Okay, I give already!" The stallion whined.
"Lieutenant, if you would?" Fletcher asked.
"You got it." Caboose nodded. He reached under the stallion's jacket and pulled out the bomb. "Gotcha!" He followed up by removing the explosives.
"Whatever you were planning to do with that bomb, I'm afraid your plans have been thwarted." Fletcher told the stallion.
"Good thing, too." Caboose nodded. "How bad would it have been if there was an explosion..."
As he said that, Caboose tripped a wire, resulting in a rapid ticking sound.
"Gotcha..." The bomber stallion smirked.
Immediately both Fletcher and Caboose smelt smoke, both their blood running cold.
“CABOOSE! MOVE!” Fletcher yelled, as he tossed the bomber at Caboose, just as the building behind them exploded, with Fletcher vanishing in a blast of fire and smoke. As the dust settled, Caboose emerged relatively unscathed, the bomber (knocked unconscious by the landing) held tight in his grip.
"Quick thinking there, Cap." He smiled... but didn't get an answer. "Cap?"
As the smoke cleared, Caboose saw Fletcher on the ground, major burns all over his body, with shrapnel scraping most of his body.
"Fletcher!" Caboose yelled, rushing over to him. "NO! No, no, no! Don’t die on me, man, don’t die!" He then glanced around. “HELP! We need a doctor here!”
Caboose looked around frantically, hoping for help to come, but noticed something in the bomber's jacket: A picture of himself
"No..." He whispered. "He was after me? And Fletcher paid the price... Not if I can help it!"
With some considerable strain, Caboose lifted both Fletcher and the bomber with his magic.
"Hang in there, buddy." He told Fletcher. "You've got a wedding on the way, remember!"
Caboose rushed out to the main street, passing the bomber onto the first Guard he saw, then carried Fletcher off for medical attention.
As night fell, Fletcher was in a bed at Canterlot Hospital, bandages covering his wounds. His armor had been the only thing that saved him from a worse fate. Caboose was standing by his bed, guilt-ridden.
"I'm sorry, Fletcher." He sighed. "It was my stupid fault. I tripped that wire..."
At that moment, Dove arrived.
"Oh no..." She gasped, shocked by her fiancee's condition. "Fletcher..."
Dove kneeled by Fletcher's bed, sobbing.
"Dove, I'm so sorry." Caboose tried to comfort her. "I should have looked out for him better. That bomb was meant for me… not him."
"That doesn't matter now." Doce sniffed.
"Of course it does!" Caboose yelled, starting to tear up himself. "If it weren't for me, this wouldn't have happened! It's all my fault!"
“Caboose…” Dove murmured, her tears stopping for a bit. “I want you to listen… I know you care for Fletcher, and I know it is not your fault. Fletcher saved you because you were his best friend and comrade, and he know you would had done the same for him. But right now, you need to stop blaming yourself. Just find whoever is responsible for this, and do whatever it is a mafia pony like you do. Can you do that?”
"…Gladly." Caboose nodded, his face set.
Caboose left the room, giving Dove some alone time with Fletcher. As he left, he turned to a nearby Guard.
"Guard this room." He ordered. "In case somepony comes by, looking to finish the job."
"Yes, Lieutenant." The Guard saluted.
The next morning, Caboose (pulling a few strings) had the bomber remanded to his custody, then called all the brothers to Blazin' Blues.
"This had better be good, bro." Slot nursed his still-tender midsection. "I've had a rough couple of days, and I'm in no mood for any kinda craziness."
"That depends on your reaction to this question: Has anypony tried to kill you guys lately?" Caboose declared.
"Actually, yeah." Murray nodded. "Some guy tried to snipe me."
"I was jumped by a whole bunch of thugs at the hospital." Salt declared.
"One of my taste-testers tried to poison me." Sonny frowned.
"This guy came in here and tried to shoot me." Vinny revealed.
"I was attacked by a pretty, yet unhinged young mare." Lars grimaced.
"And I nearly got squeezed to death by this hot mare with superstrong thighs and a weird name." Slot grimaced.
"Well, I almost got blown up." Caboose declared. He walked into the back room, pulling out the bomber, who was tied to a chair and gagged. "By this guy." And he then pulled up a photograph. “And he had a picture of me…” He glanced at it with a grimace. “And not my good side either.”
“So did the guys that tried to kill all of us.” Lars frowned, “It is one thing for one of them to go after one of us… but for all of us to get attacked on the same day? This can’t be a coincidence.”
"So that means... we're being targeted." Murray frowned.
"We gotta tell Grim." Sonny declared. "He could be next!"
"And let's face it, he's not exactly in the best shape to defend himself." Lars nodded.
"My point, exactly." Caboose nodded. "We gotta get moving, now!"
The brothers (and their guest) took a Guard carriage to Ponyville, and made a mad dash to the mansion. Once they reached the mansion, they banged on the door like the world was ending.
Grimoire opened the door. In his depression, he had stopped shaving. His mane was a mess, and he looked haggard.
"Geez, Grim." Slot frowned. "You look terrible."
"Do I?" Grimoire snorted. "I hadn't noticed."
"Grim, we need to talk." Murray declared.
"Can't it wait?" Grimoire asked. "I'm not really in the mood right now."
"I'm afraid not." Lars shook his head.
"And who's that?" Grimoire glanced at the bomber.
"We'll explain once we're inside." Salt declared.
"...Okay, come in." Grimoire sighed.
The brother went on to explain everything to Grimoire (Zecora was currently out at the market).
"You were all attacked?" Grimoire frowned, forgetting his own problems.
“Yeah. And they held no qualms in attacking others to get to us.” Vinny growled. “My guy shot Blue.”
“And Fletcher is in the hospital because of this bucker!” Caboose snarled, pointing to the bomber, who was tied to a chair.
“Oh, my…” Grimiore muttered, “Well, no one had tried to assassinate me yet…”
"But it may just be a matter of time." Vinny declared.
"What say we get some answers?" Salt turned to the bomber, still tied to the chair. He pulled out the gag. "Who hired you and the others?"
"I'm not telling you anything." The bomber spat.
"Let me rephrase..." Salt punched the bomber as hard as he could. "Who hired you?!"
"I won't talk." The bomber declared. "No matter what."
"You sure about that?" Slot pulled out a knife.
"Because we have ways of making you talk." Vinny put on some brass hooves.
"Do your worst." The bomber snarled.
"Gladly." Caboose scowled, as he pulled out a thick piece of rope with a hard knot at the end. "This is for you, Fletch..."
The brothers gave the bomber a serious beatdown, punching, cutting and stabbing him until he could take no more.
"Alright, I'll talk!" The bomber groaned, in an abject agony. "Look, me and all the others were hired to kill you guys. You, and all who have ever known you. Our employer was pretty specific about that."
"And who might this employer be?" Lars asked.
"I don't know." The bomber declared, as the brothers menacingly lean in. "Seriously! I didn't see his face. He was standing in the shadows when I met him!"
"Sounds like a vendetta to me." Grimoire frowned.
"There's more." The bomber declared. "A bunch of other assassins are going to go after your daughter and his boy-toy!"
"Seriously?" Slot snorted. "They're going after royalty? Please, hitponies are not that stupid as to go after public figures…"
"Wait, there's at a public event at Canterlot Castle tonight. The annual Royal open house." Lars realized. "All the royals will be there, with the doors wide open... The perfect time to strike."
“Dusty… Blueblood… they’re in danger!” Grimiore gasped, horrified for his daughter and his son-in-law’s health, “We have to stop them!"
“You ain’t gonna make it, guys.” The bomber spat. “They’re probably already dead!”
“Oh, shut up!” Caboose snarled, as he then shot a bolt through the bomber’s head.
"Boy, Caboose is pretty serious, isn't he?" Vinny asked.
"Yeah." Slot noted. "There's something I'll never get used to..."
Over in Canterlot, hours later, the affair was going smoothly. The royals were greeting and talking with their guests, and Dusty and Blueblood were no different.
"So glad you come make it." Dusty told one of the guests, the illustrious fashionista Sassy Saddles.
"It was my pleasure, your highness." Sassy bowed.
"Thanks for coming!" Blueblood smiled at Fancypants and Fleur.
"We wouldn't have missed this for the world." Fancypants grinned.
Unbeknownst to anypony, a sniper was perched above the festivities, with his crosshairs on both Dusty and Blueblood.
“Okay, I have the targets in my sight.” The sniper, a dirty green Pegasus, declared into a walkie-talkie. “Are you in position?”
The sniper's comrades were scattered about the garden.
"Roger." A burly brown Earth Pony replied.
"Roger." A scrawny blue Pegasus whispered.
"Roger." An orange Unicorn declared.
"Roger." A gray Unicorn announced.
"Good." The sniper smiled. "Then we're ready to go."
"What about those twin brats of their's?" The Earth Pony asked.
"We'll snag them during the panic after their parents are dead." The sniper replied. "Just be ready."
"Oh, we will." The blue Pegasus smiled. "For what we're getting paid, none of us will be screwing this up."
The sniper pointed his crossbow at Dusty's head.
"You'll be going first, darlin'." He smirked. "I can't wait to see the look on daddy's face." He began to squeeze the trigger...
*SHING!*
The sniper let out a small gasp… as he was cleaved in half. As the two halves (and the crossbow) dropped to the ground, Crowe emerged from the shadows, wiping the blood off his katana.
"Not on my watch." he declared.
"What was that?" The orange Unicorn asked. "What's going- ugh!"
The Unicorn was stabbed in the stomach by Kamikaze.
"Could you repeat that?" The blue Pegasus asked. "I think the connection's-"
Kong grabbed him from behind and broke his neck.
"I think we've been made." The Earth Pony declared. "Repeat, I think-"
A poison dart suddenly stuck itself in his head.
"Weeeee...." He collapsed.
The brothers arrived moments later.
"Where are they?" Grimoire frowned. "Dusty!"
"What if we're... too late?" Lars fretted.
"Don't even say that!" Murray yelled.
"Dusty!" Grimoire called again.
"Dad?" Dusty emerged from the crowd. "What are you doing here? What's wrong?"
"Oh, thank Faust you're safe!" Grimoire ran over and hugged her.
"Um... what's going on?" Dusty asked.
"Ah, there you are, Dusty." Blueblood joined her. He noticed his father-in-law and the others. "Grimoire, fellows, good to see you."
"You too... especially under the circumstances." Lars nodded.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Dusty asked. "And why do you look that way?"
"Yes, why are you all so flustered?" Blueblood asked.
"We were told you were being targeted by assassins." Sonny declared.
"You were told correctly." Crowe remarked, as he and the other dons joined them.
"Hold up a second." Salt frowned. "What are you all doing here?"
"Well, in a nutshell, we've been targeted by assassins." Zebediah revealed.
"They've been hitting our operations, our contacts... heck, Kong here lost another translator!" Kamikaze declared.
Kong bowed his head sadly.
"We figured you guys might be in line for the same kind of trouble, so we came to lend a hoof." Crowe nodded. "We figured a place like this would be the perfect opportunity for some hitpony to kill Dusty."
"Kill me?" Dusty gasped.
"And Blueblood, too." Caboose added.
"Oh, dear Faust." Blueblood cringed.
“Wait, where’s Sid?!” Grimiore looked around, “Is he okay?”
“Um, actually… we sent him to take out one of the accomplices.” Crowe joined Grimiore in glancing around. “He should be back by now…”
Sid was walking over to them, talking with the gold Unicorn about the food.
"I do like those little cheese cubes." He remarked. "The pineapple chunks, not so much."
"Me too." The Unicorn nodded. "I always feel guilty, having to leave them on the stick... huh, I feel like I'm forgetting something..."
Crowe rushed over and drop-kicked the Unicorn, knocking him out.
"Nice job, Sid." He scowled.
"Sorry." Sid cringed. "I saw him at the buffet table. I was going to attack, but I saw he had one of those cocktail stick pile things. I love those. So I helped myself to one, and we got talking. Guess I lost track of things."
"Ya think?" Kamikaze snorted.
"We better find someplace to hide until we figure out who's behind this." Zebediah declared.
"My thoughts exactly." Grimoire nodded. "Dusty, Blueblood, you need to come with us."
"Us?" Dusty asked. "What about Pureblood and Vito?"
"They'll be safe here, with the others." Murray declared. “Just make sure that you have them double the guards!”
“But what do we tell them?!” Dusty asked.
“Just inform Celestia and the others that you and Blueblood had a family emergency to tend to.” Sonny declared. “We can’t afford to get them dragged into this…”
"Come on, guys, let’s get somewhere safe before more assassins come." Crowe told him.
“Right…” Grimiore nodded, before smiling. “And… thanks for your help. You didn’t have to do that..."
"Ah, quit the mush." Kamikaze snorted.
Kong smiled brightly.
“You’re our friend, Grim. We weren’t about to let some buckholes hurt your family.” Zebediah declared.
"We mafiosos gotta stick together." Sid smiled.
"I really do appreciate it." Grimoire admitted. "It's good to know I can count on you, one last time..."
"Huh?" Crowe frowned.
"Okay, time to move out." Salt declared. "You guys coming with?"
"Might as well." Zebediah nodded. Strength in numbers, and all that..."
Acting quickly, the brothers gathered all their wives and children. Caboose ended up having Hurricane and Michael stay with Iron Hooves, trusting that the former Captain could protect them, and Redheart simply took Lightning with her, both her and Salt refusing to let her out of their sight until this whole thing blew over. Everypony gathered at the mansion, planning on the forcefield to help protect them. Once everypony was in one place, the brothers explained everything that been going on.
"We're being targeted?" May gasped.
"I'm afraid so." Murray nodded.
"What do we do, Grim?" Zecora asked. "Things are looking quite dim."
"I know." Grimoire sighed. "But we'll figure this out."
"And when we find out who's behind this, we're gonna make 'em pay!" Slot spat.
"Oh, they'll pay, alright." Caboose growled. "Going after us is one thing, but going after our friends? Our family? That's crossing the line."
"Calm down, Caboose." Daring urged, unnerved by his anger. "I know you feel responsible for what happened to Fletcher, but-"
"But nothing, Daring." Caboose snarled. "That slime's gonna pay!"
“Hey, Crowe, guys, where are we on reinforcing this place?!” Salt yelled to the dons, who were actively working in fortifying the mansion.
"Well, seeing as how we ain't liscenced contracters, we ain't doin' so hot." Kamikaze snorted.
"I'm not sure if this'll really help in the long run." Crowe frowned. "From the sound of it, whoever's behind this is determined to finish us. A little extra reinforcement might not not do us all that good."
"Who wants muffins?" Sid asked, entering from the kitchen.
"Seriously?" Kamikaze scowled. "You think snacks are gonna help right now? Are you really that dumb?"
"I'm sorry, but I bake a lot when I'm scared!" Sid declared, breathing heavily.
Zecora walked over to Zebediah, who was triple-checking the locks on the windows.
"Zeb, I must ask something of you." She declared. "What of my sister? Is she protected too?"
"Yeah." Zebediah nodded. "I know we haven't been dating too long, but I figured I couldn't take the chance. I've got all my guys put on security detail at the inn Zaria's staying at. Hopefully, it'll be enough."
"I hope so too." Zecora bowed her head. "She must be safe until this is through."
Oakley was standing guard by the door, his instincts telling him there was trouble on the horizons.
"Good ol' Oakley." Murray smiled.
"Best guard-Timberwolf I've ever seen." Salt smiled.
"So true." Grimoire chuckled.
At that moment, a parcel dropped through the mailbox. The forcefield spell had been attuned to let certain ponies pass through, like the local mailpony. It didn't stop Oakley from barking a few times, though.
"You expecting any mail, Grim?" Vinny asked.
"Not that I know of." Grimoire frowned. He opened the parcel to find a video inside, the words "Play me" printed on the label. "Looks like there's something somepony wants us to see..."
"Don't open it!" Crowe urged. "What if it's another bomb?"
"I doubt Ponyville Post Office is incompetent enough to let a bomb slip through." Lars snorted.
"I dunno..." Caboose shrugged. "This one mare is pretty spacey."
"Takes one to know one..." Slot smirked.
The tape was placed in a player, and an image flickered to live on the TV screen. They saw the inside of a warehouse, with a purple Pegasus stallion with a blue mane tied to a chair, and gagged and very bruised. The brothers recognized him instantly.
"Hey, that's Feather Fulcrum!" Sonny gasped.
"Didn't he retire a while back?" Murray frowned.
"Yeah, he did." Salt nodded.
"Hello, Napoleons." A deep, sinister voice growled, much to the viewers’ horror. "I harbor no illusions that my first wave of assassins inflicted any serious damage upon you. No matter. I'm just getting started."
"Who is that?" Lars asked.
"I don't know." Grimoire frowned. "But something about his voice is familiar..."
"I've been waiting years for my vengeance." The voice continued. "Waiting for the perfect time to strike. A time when you're at your weakest, and have the most to lose. And now that you've outed yourselves, and separated, I can think of no better time."
"Why don't you show yourself, coward!" Slot yelled at the screen.
"He can't hear you, bro." Caboose told him. "Trust me, I've made that mistake..."
"Sounds like whoever this is really hating on you guys." Zebediah declared.
"Then why bring us into it?" Kamikaze asked.
"Guilt by association?" Sid offered.
Kong frowned worriedly.
"Maybe he'll just up and tell us." Crowe mused.
"But before I destroy you, I want you to know just who is going to bring your world crashing down around you." The voice declared.
From out of the shadows emerged another familiar face: That of Striker Killsquad, the police commissioner who had tried to bring down the Napoleons all those years ago, and responsible for Clyde’s death. His face was heavilly scarred, and one of his legs looked different from the others. His body had gone old with age, but the hatred in his gaze remain the same from back then.
"No..." Grimoire gasped. "It's not possible..."
"How the buck is he still alive?" Murray spat. "Dad blew him up!"
“Killsquad?! The bucker that is out for blood against all of us is Killsquad?!” Kamikaze gaped. “Oh buck, we are so screwed…”
"I imagine you're wondering how I could have possibly survived." Killsquad declared. "Well, I almost didn't. After your wretched father blew me up, I was pulled from the wreckage by one of my loyal agents, and taken to a private hospital. It was touch and go for a while, but I was pulled back from the brink. I was put in a coma for the first few years, and in intensive care for the rest. It took years for me to fully recover, though. All those years, which I can never get back. And every minute, every second, I spent planning my revenge on the family that I had come so close to bringing down."
“Close? Not how I see it.” Murray glared.
"Being out of action for that long cost me my role as Police Commissioner." Killsquad continued. "I was out of a job, and in the state I was in, not in much of a position to get similar employment. Fortunately, I had amassed enough resources from a unknown, but generour benefactor, that I was able to devise a plan that would end you filthy crooks once and for all. My fondest dream, finally come true..."
"Somepony needs a hobby." Caboose snorted.
"I vowed to myself that I would bring down everything associated with you Napoleons." Killsquad spat. "And I will. For it is not just you eight I intend to kill. I will also see to it that your wives and your spawns are killed, that your friends like that dirty mayor…” Murray growled. “The hapless bartender…” Vinny grunted. “The Captain of the Royal Guard and his doting fiancée…” Caboose clenched his hooves, as Daring frowned with concern. “And many more. I haven’t forgotten about your friends from the other mafias…”
"Why that piece of slime..." Crowe growled.
"He wants a piece of me, I say bring it on!" Kamikaze spat.
"Let's not be too hasty." Sid cringed. "Maybe we can reason with him."
"Even if I were still in the mood, I doubt he'd be open to making a deal..." Zebediah frowned.
Kong scowled angrily.
“And once I finish all of you off, I will murder every single member of your mafia, till there is no one left to carry on your worthless name… starting with this one.”
Killsquad pulled out a crossbow, and shot Fulcrum dead in the head. Fulcrum slumped over, much to everypony’s horror.
"And I won’t be doing this alone. There are a few ponies I had come across who wish to partake in your family’s slaughter, so they will be coming along for the ride, as well as dozens upon dozens of mercenaries under my command. They will all come to end your worthless existences… and they will not stop…” Killsquad sneered. "Unless... unless Grimoire, and only Grimoire, comes to face me."
"Say what?" Murray growled.
"He can't be serious..." Sonny scowled.
"He certainly looks serious..." Lars remarked.
“Come to this address, Grimoire..." Killsquad held up a piece of card with an address written on it. "Surrender yourself to my not-so-tender mercies, and I just might let the others live. I'll be waiting..."
The video came to an end. The brothers all stood there, horrified, as well as the dons, as Sid suddenly fainted. The mares themselves began to murmur with worry, as everypony’s eyes fell on Grimoire.
'And just like that, the pony that all of us thought to be dead had come back, out for blood on everypony that ever come to know our name… and as of now, as I am writing this, I had already made my choice… I only fear that whatever happens… that no more ponies die because of this mad pony’s machinations…'
In his study, Grimoire finished his writing. Oakley whined plaintively.
"I know, buddy." Grimoire patted. "But there's only one way to end this. And it won't be pretty. But no matter the cost, Killsquad has to be stopped..."