//------------------------------//
// One dream too short 
// Story: Identity 
// by Hyper44 
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  Lightning Jolt lay on her makeshift bed while staring out into the foggy street as she tried to comprehend the dream. A blow like that can stop a pony's heart, even a partly artificial one. Did that make her heart more or less vulnerable? What did it matter?

Lightning Jolt closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead. It was all too much for her. It was probably all a dream but no she remembered things! She relaxed and kept her eyes closed as she let her mind mull over it all. When she tried too hard to focus on any memory it became more vague so she just them roll over her mind just as they came.

She didn’t remember everything about her past but she definitely remembered some of it. She remembered herself as Baby Bird. She could remember Smog and Cinder's Islands. She could remember Starlight Glimmer who was her mentor. She could see herself as a filly looking up at her from her desk as the mare taught her classes. She could remember her parents. Her eyes snapped open and she stared out at the fog. She could picture and remember her adoptive parents. Not all that well though. Mostly what she could recall were things that she had thought about and remembered in that "Dream". Sometimes she could pull closely related memories but that was about it. She hadn’t thought about them too much, it was mainly when the mare words had brought them to mind. She focused on them awhile wanting to pull every memory she could while her link was still fresh. She could remember their personality pretty well and some interactions came back. Her father was somewhat stiff and a very authoritative sounding pony. Not authoritative as in in charge but on knowledge and different matters. A little too much though. Her mother was more loose but more fiery. Of interactions there was one in particular that stood out, their many responses when Smog or other ponies who made a comment about her, mostly Smog.

"Our Baby Bird is amazing just the way she is!"

That was a nice sentiment but no, it was not true. Lightning Jolt cringed when she remembered her old self. No, she was not fine just the way she was.

Lightning Jolt also remembered her old cutie mark. She looked back at her flank picturing it over her new one and cringed. Her talent was what her parents called supporting and lifting up honorable ponies but no, that wasn’t quite it. She was...a lackey for lack of a better term. She had sat applauding as Starlight Glimmer and others like her as they went on and on about Cinder Island Equality and everything that went with it. She spent her time repeating what they said to anypony who would listen. When somepony said something "incorrect" about them she made sure to go over there and set them straight. How dare they? We're they so stupid that they could not understand equality? Maybe they were just stupid ponies who didn't want everypony to be equal. She would tell them though. That she definitely did. She had, in a nutshell, been a pawn along with many others from Starlight Glimmer's class. Running around making sure that everypony knew how “Great” Starlight Glimmer’s equality was and how “evil” and “hateful of other ponies” her opposers were. How they could they not want true equality? That "equality" made Lightening Jolt cringe now.  

Cinder Island is not a nice place. There were a lot of issues and a lot of ponies like her. There were not a lot of jobs nor economy motion as a result there was a lot of crime. The Cinder Island ponies were not blind, knew that it was bad but it was the blaming. Who's fault was all this? It was all the Equestrians fault. They had oppressed them in Equestria, they had not helped them with achieving perfect equality and they would not live by it so it was all their fault. There was just no way that it was the ways of the Cinder Island ponies. Because of the hoof pointing in the wrong direction nothing there was going to get better. This made Equestria a lot more attractive than Cinder islands but few ever deflected over there. It was because The ponies of Cinders Islands had learned to see Equestrian ponies as ponies who were against equality. This caused outrage and outrage does not listen. She wondered if the Cinder Island ponies would ever open their eyes and look at themselves, if everything would ever stop being the Equestrians fault.

Lightning Jolt sighed as she remembered Cinder Islands. She had never really knew how much trouble was there since it was the only place she had ever know and life there was getting even harder. Nopony could rise above it either because all ponies had to be "Equal". Following dreams was hard too. Just too much work. Regardless though, if you had a dream of owning your own restaurant that was not happening because everypony couldn’t run a restaurant or business. If you wanted to build funds so you or your kids could go to the best school that was not happening because everypony could not do so. Now, under Starlight's new ideas you could not even be congratulated for a job well done because everypony would not be congratulated and she, Baby Bird, had gone along with it. Now in Equestria you could not even have a cutie mark? All these ideas did not bring anypony up, it brought ponies down and kept them down. If it was so good why didn't she live by it? If she recalled correctly Starlight Glimmer was quite well off like other politicians and government officials and even after she had her speech on cutie marks here her's was still on her flank.  It was amazing to Lightening Jolt that with her past self no matter how contrary or how out there was one of Starlight's agendas she would go along with it. Even in the face of obvious flaws she, Baby bird stood by it because Starlight Glimmer said so and she, Baby Bird was a proud Cinder Island pony. 

Lightning Jolt groaned and rubbed her head. This was a lot to take in. She looked back again at her own cutie mark. Like most ponies she had believed that cutie marks were set in stone. That you would get what you would get it when you discovered it but maybe instead cutie marks were much like life. You may have an intended destiny but you still chose your own path whether it be that destiny or not. She apparently  always had the ability and innate knack for creating lightning but she had never tried let alone focused on it. Instead she had focused herself on being the perfect picture of a Cinder Island pony and that had been what she had become. She was sure that even if she hadn’t gotten her cutie mark replaced that she still could be what she is now. After all your talents put the cutie mark there not the other way around. Cutie marks just don't appear randomly but appear according to choices and talents. Except maybe when you get cutie pox like that story Applejack had told her about but that was different. 

Lightning Jolt sighed, laid her head down on the fabric and stared out at the foggy night. She felt mentally exhausted now. She relaxed and let both the vague and stronger memories roll over her mind while trying not to think too much. The pony who was in most of them was Smog. She couldn’t remember when or how she had met him but he was always there looking after her, mostly pulling her out of fights when somepony spoke ill of Starlight Glimmer and her ideals. Before anypony knew about her medical conditions and would pass out he was often the one helping her and he simply seemed to just have always been around.

They argued a whole lot too. A lot. Smog was one of those ponies of "Equestrian Ideals". He was often trying to explain problems in Cinder Island ways and she was always explaining why he was wrong. Every argument was always a heated argument. He had also been the first one to say that she should probably check with a doctor to see if she had any medical conditions. Her parents refused for a while, not because there was no merit to what he had said, there was a lot of merit to what he pointed out but because it was Smog who said it. After she had had her surgeries and had had become afraid to fly he had tried again and again to get her to stop being afraid. She had always accused him of being stupid or trying to kill her even though she knew that it wasn't true. 

Despite the volatile friendship and her parents telling her not to associate with him she had kept hanging around him. Back then she had told herself that it was because she was trying to make him learn but now she admitted, with shame, that it was because she knew that he would look out for her no matter how hateful she became. Because despite his brash, untactful manner he was a good friend. She would understand why she wanted to be "Friends" if you could call it that but why had he tolerated her? She couldn’t understand why. She would have never put up with a pony like her past self for anywhere near that long. He must have patience like no pony she had ever known. It was almost funny. For all the things she accused him of she often fit those accusations better than he did.

Another thing she realized about him was that he was not insane, not in the least. He was stressed, badly stressed. If he had a nervous disorder it was because of that. He was actually a lot calmer the last few times she had seen him. It was mostly from her first impression of him. He was not insane when she opened her eyes, he was seriously ticked off  at her stupidity on top of all that stress. That one moment burned into her memory labeled him as insane. A good bit of that stress was probably due to her but he also lived as a pony of Equestrian Ideals in Cinder Island. In a nutshell he lived in a very hostile environment. Cinder Island ponies as expected viewed him almost like public enemy number one. You know, because Equestrian Ideas were dangerous. Why didn't he just leave? He obviously had no problem traveling solo to Equestria. His life must have seriously sucked.  Why hadn’t his parents left? They were the same.

Suddenly, like an apparition out of her memories Smog walked out of the fog. Lightning Jolt stared at him at first not sure if he was real until he picked her up with his magic. 

"Any serious injuries?" He asked.

Lightning Jolt shook her head. Smog simply dropped her onto his back and teleported. They reappeared on top of a building and he squinted into the fog. "I got myself lost in this big stupid city," He said. "The commander of the search party that was sent to find you was only looking in the battle area and the outskirts of it. You’re a pegasus and you were all over the sky. You would think that he would know to look much farther out but, nope!."

"There's a search party just for me?" Lighting Jolt asked.

"There's a search party for a few ponies missing in action but don't forget you are the friend of a princess," Smog replied before teleporting to another building. "You’re moving up," He said with a laugh then took a more serious tone. "I am glad that you’re not the pony you used to be."

Lightning Jolt smiled "I am too. Why did you put up with me?"

Smog shrugged. "I don't know. Perhaps because I knew that you were just so impressionable and I was trying to keep you from being swept up in Cinder Island rhetoric. I failed."

"So was every other young pony," Lightning Jolt replied.

"I guess it's because I was the one to find you then."

Lightning Jolt's expression became confused. "Found me? I was adopted so what do you mean by found me?"

Smog remained silent and just teleported to another building. "You have a new life now so you don't need to keep going over the details of before." He finally said.

"I really want to know." Lighting Jolt insisted. "I mean I assumed that it was a simple as my birth mother gave me up and then I was picked for adoption."

"Yeah, that's basically what happed. She… gave you up alright. Oh, look I can see where they set up base." Smog said.

"Tell me!" Lighting Jolt insisted pulling on his ears.

"Ow! Ok. I...found you in a trash can outside a hospital," He replied. Lightning Jolt was taken aback. She knew that her mother had abandoned her when she found out her medical conditions but not had dumped her like that.

"We don't know if she failed to get rid of you in the womb, was normally discharged and got rid of you after she left or just had you elsewhere and dumped you there so it would be blamed on the hospital if you were found." Smog went on. "I was just a foal myself and was going through trash cans for parts to build engines. Dumpster diving is a common practice there. I heard a weak cry and didn't believe what I had just heard but I looked anyway. I saw a weak newborn filly laying half buried the trash. I freaked out and started screaming my head off for help. Ponies walking the streets just stopped and stared at me like I was crazy. I picked you up in my magic and ran still screaming into the hospital. I created such a commotion that journalist were all over it quite quickly. Because of that everypony wanted you. Somehow your parents got chosen much to my dismay. Maybe it was because they couldn’t have any foals of their own. For ponies who could have none of their own they couldn’t understand how anypony could coldly get rid of a baby. So I guess they had one saving grace.

"Anyway, I guess because I was the one who found you I wanted to make sure that you were well taught and looked after I guess," Smog finished. 

"Well Smog, I know that I would never have said it before but thank you. You were the big brother that was always there and one that I never appreciated. Thanks for putting up with me." Lightning Jolt said giving him a hug.

"Akk! Ok! Let's go now." Smog said quickly teleporting down to the after battle bivouac. They appeared right in the center of the camp not far away from two of the princesses. Luna still in her armor was overseeing and Twilight being Twilight was keeping everything organized.

"Here's one of the pegasus that you were looking for." Smog said using his magic to undo Lightening Jolt's hug and put her on the ground. "She probably needs a checkup." Then he looked down at Lightning Jolt. "You seem too well off to need me now but I'll find you and check on you later."

"Excuse me sir but might we speak with you?" A member of the royal guard asked walking up.

"No." Smog replied teleporting away leaving the stallion blinking at the empty space.

"I was just going to thank him and ask a few questions." The guard said.

Lightning Jolt laughed. "That's Smog."

"You’re alright!" Twilight exclaimed dropping her clipboard and rushing over to hug her. "We were worried that something happened to you! The others were out looking for you!"

"I'll have to call off the search party and send them to help with the other groups," Luna said walking over. "I was about to start searching the dream world to see if you were asleep and find you that way."

"Oh, really?" Lightning Jolt asked wondering what she would think of her last dream if she had seen it. "How do you find specific ponies among millions of dreamers?"

"Many years of practice." Luna replied. "Plus it's a natural ability for me. I have actually been checking into your dreams every night since you came to Canterlot just to see if memories would reveal themselves there. Sadly there was nothing."

"Well, that's because you stopped one dream too short." Lighting Jolt said only to gain herself confused looks.