Interlude: Why me?
~Blueblood~
“Ugh, the nerve of some ponies. Who does she think she is, denying me like that? If it weren’t for the fact that she has close ties with miss Clean Sweep, I’d have her fired for insubordination.” I ranted after my latest attempt to seduce a mare. Honestly, a stallion of my likes has needs, and I’m currently left frustrated.
“That was pretty pathetic, though.” A teasing voice called, making my blood freeze. It was HER. “Next time, I suggest being nice. You know, because that would earn you plenty of affection.”
“Ugh… Great, first it was my working life, now it’s my private relations. Is there any part of my life you won’t invade?” I demanded angrily.
“your non-existent sex life?” She offered. I glared at her. That hurt, Celly. That really hurt.
“Good, do I have your attention now? Because if you're really that desperate, you have your own two hooves instead of trying to seduce the staff. Until you fix that damn attitude of yours, nopony will want you. Even changelings, who feed on love would rather starve than have anything to do with you.”
“It’s true. I would.” The maid I was trying to seduce said pointedly as she passed. “How’d you know about us though?”
“I’ll tell you later.” Celly waved off the question. I stared at the maid in horror. I was flirting with a bug?!
“Celly, how is it that you keep managing to make me hate myself?” I asked as I tried wiping the image of my glorious stick in a bug from my mind.
“Probably because I’m showing you the way everyone else sees you. You need to get your head out of your arse and learn to be a propor gentlecolt. Now, watch somepony succeed where you failed.” She then turned to the bug pony and gave her a kind smile. The kind of smile Auntie Tia always gives ponies, except with more personal love, rather than motherly love.
“Hey there. Ignore that big lug, he’s got more dick than brains.” Oh dear Celestia, she’s really doing it. “I hear changelings feed on love. Ever thought of getting it just given to you willingly?” She leaned in close. “In a… personal way?”
The bug pony blushed furiously. “Uh.... Can.. can I uh… have a little time to think about it?” She asked nervously. Celly nodded, backing away.
“Take your time. I’m in no hurry.” Then her gaze turned suggestive. “But don’t take too long. I don’t want to be left hanging.” As the changeling hurried away, Celly grinned in anticipation of success. “And that’s just step one. Offer something desireable to get laid. The next step is actually caring about them until the decision is made. If they aren’t easy anyway.”
“Ugh… I think I’m going to be sick…” I moaned, feeling bile rise in my throat. Then she turned her little look to me, lidded eyes and all. And there goes my sanity. I turned and ran for it, screaming nope all the way. I didn’t stop until I ran into Luna.
“Auntie Luna, help me! Celly’s going to rape me!” I pleaded. I was mortified when all she did was roll over and laugh.
Why me?