//------------------------------// // Chapter Seven: Traveling (DANGER ZONE) // Story: PonyFall:Adventures in Chaos // by Draequine //------------------------------// Chapter Seven April 21 “All the pathos and irony of leaving one’s youth behind is thus implicit in every joyous moment of travel: one knows that the first joy can never be recovered, and the wise traveler learns not to repeat successes but tries new places all the time.” – Paul Fussell “Traveling is a brutality. It forces you to trust strangers and to lose sight of all that familiar comfort of home and friends. You are constantly off balance. Nothing is yours except the essential things – air, sleep, dreams, the sea, the sky – all things tending towards the eternal or what we imagine of it.” – Cesare Pavese That is a really big gun. ~Are you surprised as I am that she isn't black? Or a Nazi skin head? Or a terminator? What? ~Nothing.~ I would face palm now if I could, but the crazy woman currently pointing a gun at me right now would probably shoot me for twitching. My armpits are chaffing something fierce right now. Why did I shave them again? ~Prettying yourself up for Discord.~ I give a quick look at Discord. He had his hands up as well, and he was looking at me as well. Pfft, even Discord wouldn't- He takes a quick peek at my armpit through one of the burn holes and winks at me. Never mind. I look back at the chick, who I have decided to name Bright Eyes since I doubt she would be willing to give her name out to the people shes mugging. She looks kinda disgusted, and vaguely familiar. "Didn't you faggots hear me? Give me all your money!" Bright Eyes shouts holding her gun sideways, like a gangster. Oh balls, she's serious! I look back at Discord, he is unimpressed, and I am unsurprised. He obviously wouldn't know the seriousness of this. I don't think he knows what a life and death situation is. This will probably lead to some long, deep meaningful conversation between the two of us. Great... "I just LOVE your outfit!" Discord gushes. "Such a pretty pony aren't you?" Damn your chocolate-milk-pretzel heart Discord, damn it to hell. He frowns when Bright Eyes just stands there confused. "You don't know us do you?" She slowly shakes her head. "Ah, well, how did you get here then?" He asks politely. She looks like she was going to answer the question, but the teeny tiny light bulb in her head flashes. "Hey! I am mugging you right now, give me all your money or I shoot the little one." She points the gun at me. "He's the one who called you pretty pony!" I shout, indignant. I must not fear. A bead of sweat trickles down my chest. Fear is the mind killer. "And you have the face I want to shoot. Money, now!" She clenches the gun. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. Her scowl deepens. I turn to Discord, who is picking his nose with his pinky finger in arrogance. "Money is that green stuff isn't it?" He points at me. "Last time I checked, he had all the money." I will face my fear. "I don't have any money Discord." I hiss through my teeth. He shrugs. I look back at our punk mugger. Her hair is a such pastel eyesore, and the yellow jacket just makes it worse. "Well?" She sneers. "Are you going to give me the money, or do I have to take it myself?" I will permit it to pass over me, and through- That is a really big gun. I don't really know much about guns aside from which way the bang-bang hole is supposed to point toward to, and a host of one liners to say when you shoot them. Oh, and that the safety needs to be off before you can shoot it. "The safeties off." I say to no one in particular. She looks down and says," What?" I yank Discord, and make a mad dash down the street. "Come back here you fart knockers!" She screams behind us. I wonder if it was even loaded. I hear a loud crack, and bits of concrete fly up and sting my shins. Yes it was. Discord gets ahead of me. Looks like he's got the picture. He is getting way head of me now. What was that proverb again? ~You don't need to be faster then the crazy bitch, just faster then the poor sap you dragged along with you?~ That's the one. My legs are locking up, my lungs are burning and I gotta pee! Why should I even keep running anyway? It's not like she would really chase us. I look behind me. Bright Eyes is still chasing us, a maniacal gleam in her silver eyes. Her gun flashes and I hear something zoom by my ear. Well, there's my second wind! I have no idea how long I have been running. I think this is it though. The end of Ashton. I've lived a long enough life I guess. ~Buckle up you pansy, you have only been running a minute~ Bah, screw you. I see Discord ahead of me, guess he couldn't shake me off. I wonder if I am still being chased. I'm afraid if look back, I'll fall flat on my face. Just gotta keep running. I hear gunfire behind me. Just keep running. Discord doesn't look like he's doing so hot. He goes into one of the abandoned houses. That's not a bad idea actually. Okay, its a horrible idea, but at least I won't keel over and face plant on some concrete running from this psycho. I barge through the door behind Discord, thankful that he didn't lock it. Oh, it doesn't have a door knob. I look around for something to barricade the door. I push a decrepit cabinet over in front of the door. I smell a familiar aroma. Amongst the smells of cat piss and mold I smell the smokey scent of pot. Some stoners have obviously toking it up in here. I hope Discord doesn't get... stoned. ~YEAAAAAH!!!~ I follow the scent to the next room. I see a panting Discord and two straggly stoners sitting on a couch together. "For the last time I am not stoned!" He yells. "Well, not now at any rate." He looks around himself anxiously. The stoners laugh. "Whatever man, we don't judge." They look at me and giggle. "Hey! Its that leprechaun you were talking about!" They clutch their sides and fall to the floor laughing. I stare at Discord, who only shrugs, playing innocent. "So did you lose little miss pony?" He asks. "No, I defeated her with the power of friendship." I sarcastically say between ragged breaths. He grinds his teeth angrily. "Hit a soft point?" I laugh. "Pfft, so where is Bright Eyes then?" "Wait, how did you know her name was-" There is a pounding at the door. I sigh. "There's your answer." The doors hinges burst off, and it falls over the crummy cabinet. "I want your money, losers!" Discord grabs me and takes me to another room. A cramped room to make it easier for her to kill us, no doubt. Probably the closet, or a disgusting bathroom. The smell makes me gag. Definitely a bathroom! I try to claw at the door but discord stops me, so I just claw at my face a bit. "Any reason why we are in a bathroom instead of escaping that psycho?" "When you got to go, you got to go." He says in a just-cause kind of tone, as he drops his sweat pants. I stare at the incredibly fascinating lighting fixture. Just don't think about it, just don't think about it, just don't- ~Penis!~ I sigh. I gag again. I regret sighing. I slowly turn my gaze to Discord's face, Careful not to look down there, and ask ," And why did you bring me in with you for your tinkle?" I heard a stream of liquid pouring into the sink basin and watch the grin of relief on Discords face He rubs his beard thoughtfully. Yuck. He looks at me and says," Because." I shake my head in irritation. Then I hear Bright Eyes. "Come out, come out dick wads!" You know what? One last pee isn't such a bad idea. I unbutton my jeans and lift the seat gingerly, using my shirt like mittens to grab the grimy lid. I see two eyes peering at me from the commode. That can't be good. I hear hissing. That really can't be good. Discord looks down into the toilet and laughs. He keeps laughing. I feel sick. It's not the sickness I was expecting though. Discord is laughing louder. It feels like I'm falling up while eating a lemon snow cone. The room starts to shake from Discords laughing. I feel like everything is wrong with the world, that the ceiling should be the floor and the floor should be the ball pit full of bullfrogs. ~It's about to get trippy dog, so you better kumquat it on the herp a derp~ Discord just laughs and laughs and laughs. I clutch the counter, or try to as the counter reaches and grabs me. The snake starts laughing. The someone starts pounding on the melting door, but that doesn't matter because I am looking in the mirror, except it isn't a mirror, but a screen, a computer screen. The room reverberates with laughter, or was the room itself laughing? On this screen was a familiar sight, a fic page on FimFiction. It had a picture of Discord in the exact same outfit I found him in. PonyFall:Adventures in Chaos by Draequine Isn't that my username? I read the description located next to the picture Nothing Is impossible, only improbable! Ashton Thomas is a miserable crazed recluse living in Kentucky. He is bored with life in general, his sole enjoyment coming from MLP:FiM and fanfiction. He has no idea what to do with his life. Then one day, reality had decided to drop the ball.Now the sky is flashing pink, and a stranger is forced upon him, smelling of fudge. A stranger that should have been left locked in stone. (Beware:lots of cursing in this fic, and slight sexual tension) This is part of a collaboration I have started where you self-insert yourself into a story where you find a humanized character from the MLP:FiM universe. Why don't you join in? http://www.fimfiction.net/index.php?view=group&group=405 Cover source: http://www.ponibooru.org/post/view/64482?search=discord%20humanized (Need some original cover art) What? WHAT!? Now I start laughing, but I can't help it. I feel more like curling up on the floor crying. The screen shifts to another page, this one is an IRC. It's smaller then mainchat, but there are plenty of people on it. I don't know any of them, the only name I recognize is my own, Draquine. It had an exclamation before its name. What did that mean again? I read the chat. [20:20] Blaarrrrggg, Finally got to the part... So, Which one of you guys should I visit first? [20:20] Not It! [20:20] Nope [20:20] Fuck that shit! [20:20] Sure I guess [20:21] No, I am not touching your shit fic with a 20 foot pole. Besides, I have a bullshit plot device at my disposal, who cares if your closer? [20:21] I'll do it. [20:21] Nope, I hate you. [20:21] http://foodporndaily.com/explore/food/ ENF ENF ENF [20:21] Ummm... I want to work on my prologue a little more because I decided I wanted twilight more then two daring do's... if that's alright. [20:21] Not until you apologize. [20:21] For what!? [20:21] You know what you did >_> [20:21] I guess that just leaves fmp, since if I go with bridgebrain then Discord will die to soon. [20:22] Hi [20:22] Draequine. [20:22] ... [20:22] Rainbowdashian has been kicked by !Draequine (GTFO TRASH) The text fades into a troll face, which fades into a swirling mass of green and yellow. Discord is still laughing as the door finally flushes down an invisible drain and Bright Eyes walks into the cramped bathroom. "Give me that money, and maybe I won't kill you dumbass...es?" She disappears into a puff of smoke. I don't really care though, I look back at the mirror. "Are you seeing this too?" I ask Discord who has finally shut the hell up. "Does a dream smell like candy?" He replies staring into the swirling portal. "No?" "Yes!" "Yes to my no or yes to your answer?" Discord squints at me... and smacks me against the freaky mirror. I sink in slowly. "Ooooh." He says, interested for once. "I wonder where this rabbit hole leads." The last thing I see is he crooked smile. "Meow?" I hear as I plummet entirely into the mirror. This isn't really what I expected. I was falling through color. Not necessarily falling, but rather, sailing. Besides the color there was nothing. It's so lonely. So bleak. So boring. I could use a coke. From the seamless color appears a glass of coke. I take it and slurp it down. Pretty good. I look around and see what else I can do here. "Whatcha doin'?" ask Discord, who suddenly appears beside me. "Regretting that I took the blue pill." Discord looks at me questioningly. "What's a pill?" I sigh and shake my head. I won't bother to explain it. My head hurts something awful. "So what is this place?" "Nowhere." He disappears. "Somewhere." He says behind me. "And everywhere." He waves his hand in a wide arch. "How do we get out of here?" "Simple!" A door appears behind him. Just as he goes through it, he says," You just do!" The door vanishes, and I am alone again. Alright, simple enough, just make a door out. I look on as a crude warped curtain appears. I watch as tentacle slither out from it. Alright, not so simple. The disturbing curtain disappears. Wait... he just left me. HE JUST LEFT ME! Fine then, screw him. I'll go back through the way I came. A mirror appears before me. Looks normal enough. I walk toward it. I see myself in it. Wait... that isn't me. The man in the mirror is taller then me, his eyes are brown, and his hair, his hair looks almost as bad as mine! Is this what could have been? I could have been a slightly taller, hipster version of me? I am glad I didn't turn out that way. I look around me. I am in a tacky little bathroom. The same bathroom that the mirror me is in. Meh, not what I would have done, but it could have been worse. I wave at him, he waves back. This is really trippy. Wait... what if its me who is the mirror clone? AHHH! I just have to out maneuver him. I do a little spin, he does a little spin. He pulls a silly face, I pull a silly face. I flip him off, he flips me off. I start banging on the mirror, he doesn't. Now we are getting somewhere! Alright, Lets try to communicate with him logically. Surely he knows morsecode! Unless morse code is mainstream in this mirror universe, then I'd be- ~ You are going to break the mirror... Now.~ The mirror shatters in on itself. The mirror me just looks on at me, his eyes twitching. Cracks of light spread throughout the bathroom I am in. That can't be good. The toilet falls through one of the cracks, leaving behind a gapping hole of nothingness. The crack starts to widen. Alright! I get the point! I climb onto the counter. I crawl through the mirror, managing to cut my hands on all the broken shards and tumble onto the hard tiles on the other side. I'm tempted to just go into the corner and rock myself to sleep, but this is a bathroom after all. But it wouldn't hurt to just... close my eyes for a while. I hear the mirror person get closer. He is holding something in his hand. It looks long and hard. "Hello?" I say, just as the mirror man swings down the nightstand. Blackness. ~Ouch~ Gonna take a break until the other writer gets to this point. Probably a week or so.