Chapter 11: That's Not Natural!
"How exactly did we get up here?" I asked the pink pony while looking towards the ground. I don't know how but we ended up in a tree while walking and the mare didn't seem to notice.
"We're taking a short cut to Fluttershy's," She said nonchalantly.
"That doesn't answer my question,"
"I know. Just chalk it up to me being Pinkie, everyone else does," She said rather calmly before jumping off the end of the branch we were on. Yeah, I was not going to be jumping to my death considering the end of this branch was over a fucking cliff! I didn't have a choice however as the mare somehow had a super stretchy neck and bit my leg to drag me with her. I'll have you know I had the most manly scream as I fell to quite possibly my death.
When we reached the ground however there was a fucking huge cake that broke our fall. Why in the hell is there a cake that just so happened to be exactly where we were falling, and why am I alive? Looking towards the pink pony I just told myself that I had lost my mind and I'm insane. That's much easier to explain than this bullshit!
"Having fun?" A rather familiar voice said above me.
"You're supposed to help me get home, not prevent it!" I said while picking my self up.
"I'm helping you by getting you help," He said as if his actions were completely justified.
"We have a dragon, a griffin, a super strong bug horse thing, and whatever the hell you are. I think all our bases are covered," I said while looking toward the pink pony who was currently licking the cake frosting off of her legs. Ponies are officially as flexible as cats from what I can see.
"Every little bits helps,"
"I wont deny help as long as it proves useful. The only thing she's proven that she can do is pounce on me!" I said while looking back toward the pink...she's gone. She wanted me to say hi to her friend, but then she disappears when I take my eyes off of her.
"Maybe she can help you deal with your feelings?"
"Hey, guess what. I don't have feelings anymore!" I borderline yelled at him. What I meant though was that I no longer cared when someone hurt me or if someone betrayed me because I've come to expect it from everyone. Hell, I'm betting that Ruby probably wants something at the end of this.
"Being told you're a T.V show bothers you. I can tell," He said with a slight frown on his face. "I might not be the nicest being, but I still feel pity,"
"I DON'T NEED YOUR GOD DAMN PITY!" Fuck people that tell me they pity me. I don't need it and I can get everything done without it.
"Alright, calm down. Listen, I'll fix that engine of yours but I recommend bringing Bon Bon along," I scoffed at the idea that he had. First he tries to pity me then he keeps up with his damn plan of trying to force me to bring along a loony! I swear if I didn't need him I'd have an outfit that even lady gaga would consider strange.
At this point Discord snapped his fingers and disappeared. That Explains how he's able to disappear every fucking minute! As he did that something fell on my head which fucking hurt!
"I don't think it worked," A voice said from above me. Looking up I saw two Pegassi flying above me, and they both gave me the most innocent smile before flying as fast as possible in the other direction. Looking toward what exactly they dropped on me I realized that they were either trying to kill me or knock me out because it was a big fucking rock!
"Where are we going Pinkie?" A small voice asked a little ways behind me. Turning around I saw Fluttershy and the pink pony walking towards me. When Fluttershy saw me a big grin crossed her face as she ran up to me and hugged me.
"I will not fight this for 5 seconds," I said while the mare just nodded and kept hugging me. Thankfully she had enough sense to let go when it hit the five second mark though she wasn't exactly the happiest about it. When she pulled away her eyes went wide before she started trying to drag me to god knows where,
"What's the problem?" I said while she tugged on my arm.
"Your head is bleeding!" She said rather panicked. Taking two fingers I placed them on my head to feel around for any blood and she was right. I was bleeding right where those pegassi dropped that rock, good thing they didn't kill me.
"It's just a little bit of blood. Just get me some disinfectant and a bandage, and I should be good." I said while I started walking towards what looked like a cottage with a tree growing out of it. It was the most logical choice since it was the closest thing to a building that I could see.
"What if you have a concussion though?" Fluttershy asked as she made her way beside me as I continued walking towards the cottage.
"That could pose a problem, but I can't afford to waste time on something that might not exist," I knew that a concussion actually could be extremely dangerous to me, but I could probably just get the lunatic to fix that if I had one.
"Your health is worth your time," she tried to argue. I just gave her a look that said 'I don't care' before trudging up to the door. Fluttershy actually opened the door to let me in when I realized that this might actually be her house. Well I'm stupid as hell.
"Listen, I'll go get it checked, but if it's nothing I expect you to apologize for making me waste my time," I said as I walked into the home that had a strong smell of well...every animal known to man, and several known to ponies. I need a vacation from this vacation.