//------------------------------//
// 39. Twice a Month (by Eyeswirl the Weirded) 
// Story: Sunny, Moonie, Twily 
// by Jetto 
//------------------------------//

	"It really is taking her a while to get here."

"Observant as ever, Sparkle."

Twilight opted to ignore Miss Snarky-Socks this time, instead opting to clarify the situation to the others. "She visits her mother on her birthday, maybe they actually found something to talk about this time?"

"Ah," said a smiling Moon Sky, "family gathering? We should not wish to disturb her, then, I am certain that they are delighted to spend time together."

"Yea, right," Trixie and Sunset snorted in unison, turning to each other wide-eyed a second later. When their mutual thought sunk in, both smirked somewhat knowingly.

"Trixie assumes your home life was completely unnoteworthy, Sunset Shimmer?"

"Of course. Same with you, Trixie?"

"Absolutely."

While those two began the silent formation of their own little indifference-to-families club, Moon Sky couldn't help frowning a little. So Trixie does not share her circumstances openly. Unfortunate that blood-relatives should find themselves parted for past... disagreements.

Luna wondered if anything could be done to mend the bridge between Trixie and her family, and perhaps the one between Sunset and her parents as well, but she knew it wasn't her place to meddle.

"So," began Silver Sword, "seeing a few faces I don't recognize, and I'm sure I'm not alone there. Why don't we get to know each other a bit until the Birthday Girl shows up?"

There were a few nods as those gathered moved around a little. 

Trixie approached Spike, who sat on a table nearby. "You are a dragon," she stated, her face almost worryingly serious.

He looked back at her with a hint of confusion. "Well... last I checked, yea."

"Trixie has encountered few dragons in her travels, and fewer still that were not hostile. Please, regale Trixie with your story, little drake."

Feeling strangely optimistic, Spike smiled a little. "Uhh, okay!"

Pleased to see her surrogate son little-brother-figure apparently making a new friend already, Twilight smiled too as she moved to engage Moon Sky. "Thank you for coming to the party, Moon Sky."

The secret princess nodded as Brain brought up the file containing everything Moondancer had mentioned about Twilight Sparkle. "Yes, the circumstances to my invitation were… somewhat unusual." Twilight’s eyes widened in curiosity, her face the very picture of ‘Tell me more!’

I think I see what you meant about this one, Sister…

In as clear a manner as she could manage without mentioning her initial thoughts about Moondancer having tricked her into attending, Moon Sky began the tale.

Across the room, Sunset's eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly, but widened again when she heard a familiar, disapproving throat-clearing. "You know," she deadpanned without turning her head, "you don't have to sound like I've done something wrong every time we meet." 

Fire Strike rolled his eyes. "I was just clearing my throat that time."

Standing beside him, Silver Sword chuckled. "It's okay to say you just wanted her attention, you know, you definitely wouldn't be the first."

Sunset and Fire Strike ignored that comment in unison as the former turned to face them. "So, how's work been for you two? Apprehended anyone that was just defending themselves lately? Punched anypony out in broad daylight? A princess, maybe?"

Silver Sword sighed. "He's in another town now, but letters indicate he's getting in trouble just about as often."

"On that note," added Fire Strike with a raised eyebrow, "what about you? Set anything on fire lately? Gone anywhere you weren't authori-" 

Sunset scowled. "Unlocked doors are fair game, or they'd be locked, it's just common sense!"

"So's this; breaking and entering is against the law!"

"If the door is unlocked, it's not breaking!"

There was a short silence, broken by Silver Sword. "She's kinda got a point."

Fire Strike quickly turned his head. "Whose side are you on?!"


---


Meanwhile, across town, Moondancer awoke with a splitting headache. While by no means a new experience for her, it was every bit as unpleasant as the first time. Groggily taking stock of her surroundings, she found herself in what appeared to be a somewhat worn-down apartment. And tied to a chair. 

Things are looking up already!

Glancing about, she found herself alone, which made the situation less fun than she'd first thought. The place was old, and either falling apart, or home to some truly inept interior designers. Shrugging, she began to power up a spell in her horn and was immediately stabbed in the brain by a hundred tiny imps made of hatred and spite. She quickly deduced that this was due to the headache she awoke with and that casting spells wouldn't be a factor in the near future. She chanced the same thing happening again by calling out.

"Hello? Anypony home? Besides the one tied to a chair?" 

There was no response, which left a dingy apartment full of silence, shabby wood, and one increasingly worried Moondancer. Trying to wriggle out of the ropes or even just rock back and forth on the chair to pass the time only made her headache worse, so she sat in silence. Mostly.

"La, teedeedee, ladeedee, dadeedum..."

There were definitely better ways to be tied up. About twenty minutes after she awoke, Moondancer was startled by the sound of a door crashing open nearby, followed by the voices of two stallions.

"Sigh. Charlie, what have I said about going easy on the door?"

"Ehh, them hinges are foine."

Encroaching hoofsteps made Moondancer nervous. And a little excited, but now was probably a bad time for those thoughts. There was a short, internal war about whether she should be leaning one way or the other until they came into view. One was a dark-orange pegasus with dirty-blonde hair and a moustache, the other a huge, black-haired, dark-brown earth pony. She was a little ashamed of herself for leaning toward 'excited' now, but both of them were wearing (somewhat ratty) coats that obscured their cutie marks, so she couldn't identify them by flank.

Both stallions were carrying what appeared to be grocery bags, the pegasus setting his on a nearby counter to address Moondancer. "Ah, our captive is awake, and perhaps not permanently brain-damaged." 

Resting his own bags on the counter, the big one nodded. "Was just a lit'l tap, that."

Moustache Pony rolled his eyes. He'd been worried about the sense in going shopping when they had a hostage in the house, but Charlie's second 'tap' on their already-unconscious victim (the slap had been meant to prove she simply wasn't awake at the time) had left him solidly sure that she wouldn't be waking up for a while. 

"Right, anyway," he put on a vaguely threatening face, looking at Moondancer, "you're our hostage now, so don't scream or cast any spells or we'll be forced to do something... unpleasant."

Moondancer stared back in silence for a moment. "'Kay."

"You may think you ca-wait, what?"

She smiled. "Name's Moondancer, nice to meet you guys!" You took a class on this somewhere; keep your cool and everything’ll turn out alright.

Before the pegasus could get his thoughts together, the earth pony gave a quick nod. "Horse, Charlie Horse. Mates call me Charlie."

"Nice to meet you, Charlie!"

The two of them looked at the pegasus, who still seemed to be processing the situation. Charlie poked his shoulder a few times. "Oi, don' be rude, say 'ello."

Snapping awake, he nodded. "Eh, r-right, right, name's Cook. And we'll be your captors for today." He internally facehoofed. If Moondancer thought that sounded the least bit stupid, she didn't show it, her friendly grin unchanged.

"Just Cook? No other names?"

"No."

"Can I call you 'Cookie'?"

He scowled. "No!"

She giggled. "Fine, fine.” I can at least see his face, that might help anyway. So what's up, guys?"

Cook was increasingly confused. He hadn't pulled off a lot of kidnappings in his time (this was the first), but he was pretty sure something was out of place here. "W-we're, you're-" he cleared his throat, "You are the daughter of Marble Magnanimity, aren't you?" She nodded. At least they had the right filly, else this would have been awkward. "Right, we're going to ransom you back to her for a great sum of bits. Any questions?"

"One; do you guys have any aspirin? My head's killing me."

"Sorry 'bout that, Miss," said Charlie, "don' know me own strength sometoimes."

There was only a tiny bolt of pain as Moondancer tried to remember what had happened before she awoke here, but seeing these two was all she could conjure up. It might have showed on her face.

"Well," Cook said with a light shrug, "the plan was to convince you to come back here with us. then tie you to the chair, but Charlie here has always preferred the direct method."

"Quick an' simple," confirmed Charlie, "that's me way."

"For better or worse," muttered Cook. "Anyway, how are you feeling? No disfiguring bumps? No concussion? No noteworthy brain damage?"

"Just a big ol' headache.” She smiled almost pleadingly, which she couldn’t decide whether or not would be a bad move for a hostage. “So about that aspiri-"

Cook happily cut her off. "Good, then we can still offer you back for full price!" He nodded to his partner in crime. "C'mon, Charlie, let's get started on that ransom note."

The pair of foalnappers headed elsewhere in the apartment, leaving Moondancer to the sounds of shuffling paper. And her big ol' headache, not helped by the sense of panic still bubbling beneath her smile. Still? Not the worst birthday she'd ever had so far.


---


Princess Luna had been to few modern-day festivities since her return, but she felt that something was distinctly off with this one. She didn't voice this concern, partly because doing so would likely have poked a hole in her disguise, but she couldn't shake the bad feeling. Perhaps it was fear, fear that she was coming off as odd or boring to Moondancer's friends. She had begun to accrue that suspicion in Twilight Sparkle, even though her sister's best student said nothing of the sort, verbally or in body language. Was it not abnormal to just quietly listen when spoken to at length, not making a sound?

"-and Shiny said I should share, and he was right. That's when the guys in suits came along. Everything after that was kind of a mess until Moondancer's mother showed up, but that was how we first met." Twilight  blinked, sheepishly brushing the back of her head with a hoof. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to ramble on and on like that, sometimes I just get caught up in trying to recount events exactly as they happened and when you do that, you might end up saying more than you strictly have to to get the poi-..." She tinted pink. "Haha, sorry, again. How did you first meet Moondancer?"

Deploying alibi! "She startled me in class one day."

There was silence, from which Twilight inferred that that was the whole story.

"...Neat!" She glanced briefly about the room, not looking away from her conversation partner for longer than was socially acceptable, but felt the tiniest tug from within her own head when she caught sight of Sunset still talking to Trixie...



"So, yes, as Trixie doesn't have extensive experience in the finer points of brutish magic use, she is perhaps less than masterful in the field of non-lethal self-defense."

Sunset nodded once. In ordinary circumstances, she'd have happily poked the presented weak spot in Trixie's knowledge, but if Trixie walked off in a huff, she might have to talk to the guards again. "I find a simple shock spell dissuades most attackers. Or, anypony that makes the mistake of getting too close."

"Melee range? Trixie doesn't mean to belittle your methods, Sunset Shimmer, but any defense mechanism that required Trixie be up close and personal is... undesirable, for Trixie's purposes."

Teasing her a little bit was fine. "Oh? The Great and Powerful Trixie can't cast multiple arcs at once?" She shook her head woefully. "So much for your legac-"

Trixie made a face worthy of Twilight at her most annoyed, her cheeks puffing out a little as they tinged red. "Trixie knows that you know full-well that such a spell requires considerable power concentrated at a small intensity and that performing it at the distance to stun even a few ponies at once is wildly dangerous." She managed a little smirk. "Or did you forget that very basic fact of a spell you're supposedly skilled with?"

Her eyes widening for a split second, Sunset returned a little scowl. "I was just joking, Miss Magical Filly Cosplayer."

Note to self: Do not mention maid outfits. Anypony who does must immediately be silenced.

Smirking triumphantly, Trixie gave her cape a haughty toss. "Jealous?" She giggled as Sunset rolled her eyes before losing the look of superiority entirely. "So, yes, might you know anything helpful in dissuading groups of attackers?"

"Well, when you say 'dissuading,' does that-" 

"Still talking non-lethal here, Shimmer."

"Just making sure." And then Sunset got one of those moments. Moondancer wasn't around, and she was usually the cause, so Sunset chalked this one up to some kind of weird, cosmic rays affecting her brain, but right now, she wanted to say something genuine to someone she didn't hate. Her face grew serious, but not unfriendly. "There's no shame in not being a battle-mage, you know. Magic isn't just raw power for throwing your weight around, it's a means to an end. Sure, sometimes that end is turning things into smouldering piles of ash, but there's no need to have an earth-splitting super-spell in your arsenal just because you can."

Trixie smiled brightly. "Right you are, Sunset Shimmer! Many of my hecklers are quite vocal in their thoughts that great magic must equate to great destructive power, despite my performances being demonstrations of exactly the opposite!"

Sunset caught Trixie's slip in the 3rd Pony routine, but didn't say a word as the indignant stage magician went on.

"Really," she said with an almost comical eye-roll, "you'd think that with a myriad of dazzling colors wrapped around shifting shapes dancing and twirling radiantly over their heads, more ponies could appreciate more than the simple, instant-gratification kind of show that comes with senseless demolition!" 

Such ponies often failed to take the cost of property damage into account as well, something Trixie learned about at a fairly young age, but now was not the time. Shaking off the memories, she returned her eyes to Sunset. "However, Trixie could still use something to keep certain parties at bay, so...?"

Sympathetic (kinda) as Sunset was to Trixie's plight, she wasn't entirely sold on divulging the secrets of Cold Flame to somepony that might use it to wow a crowd like some cheap parlor trick. Even if she did it herself that one time. Regardless, she had other ideas. "Have you tried raising the dead?"

"WHAT?!"

Sunset smiled. "As a scare-tactic, I mean! Nopony'll pursue you if they're terrified of the hulking, skeletal abomination shambling their way, and making them run away and live to see another day is about as non-lethal as it gets!"

Trixie facehoofed.



Across the room, the young magician's frustration was caught by Fire Strike, whose eyes narrowed on Sunset. "What's she talking about over there...?"

"How much she wants to kiss you."

Fire Strike felt his whole face go warm. Head whipping to the smiling speaker, his backstabbing partner, who did a hoof/claw bump the library dragon and chuckled at his expense.

"I really wouldn't worry about that," reported Spike, "kissing anyone is probably the last thing on her mind."

Raising an eyebrow, Fire Strike regarded the little drake curiously. "And how would you know that?"

"Because despite sharing a room with Moondancer, I've never heard of her-" Spike started counting off on his claws. "-having a coltfriend, having a marefriend, spending more than an absolutely-required amount of time with much of anypony but her roommates, making eyes at anypony, or even talking about doing any of the above. Well, at least not in the last few years, but other than that? Filly's a total cold fish."

Silver chuckled. "And here I thought you were about to tell us you knew all about the hearts of mares."

Spike tilted his little head. "Why would I wanna know about any of that?"

"The day you find yourself with a special someone, you'll see."

This only seemed to confuse Spike further, so Fire Strike opted to try the simplest explanation he knew. "It's a manly thing, knowing what ladies want?"

Spike pointed at him. "Hey, I'm totally manly! I do manly stuff all the time!"

Silver smiled. "Such as?"

"Uhh..." Keeping a library organized, he knew, would not credit him with points of manliness. But he had something else! "I... bake?" They stared at him. He put as much dramatic inflection into the statement as he could manage. "Without, an apron!!"

Sharing a quick look, the two guards smiled in recollection of a friend of theirs that once made the same boast, back in his cadet days. He had since upgraded his manliness to 'Princess Punching' status. 

Fire Strike couldn't entirely keep the grin off his face. "I rescind my doubts about your masculinity, Sir Dragon."

Spike put his claws on his hips, puffing out his chest. "Darn straight!"



As Twilight wrapped up another of her brother's escapades in Ponyville (not that Luna wasn't interested to hear how he had been doing), Moon Sky looked around, unable to contain the question any longer. "Where is Moondancer?"

The entire room heard the question, stopping what they were doing to glance about as well, as if hoping to catch sight of her. That they didn't was kind of a relief, because nopony had even whispered 'Surprise!' 

Trixie tried not to blush. "Perhaps she is... preoccupied?"

Twilight shook her head. "No, she'd never- well, I mean, yes, she does that all the time, but she'd never do that when she knew we were waiting on her, especially not today." The day they met changed Twilight's life a little bit, and she knew it meant a lot to Moondancer too. There were even a few times she was glomped specifically in memory of that day!

"So," Sunset pondered aloud, "knowing her, she's gotten mixed up in some horrific mound of bodies and can't get out, took a nap and went overboard with it, or she's in trouble somewhere."

Twilight was the most visibly worried by the thought. "Should we call the guards?"

"No time," answered Silver Sword "besides, we're already here."

"This is your day off," said Sunset, "aren't you off-duty?"

Silver Sword and Fire Strike shared a look, then turned to Sunset and answered together as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Nope." That they had showed up in their armor, in hindsight, felt like a hint.

"Yep, they're Shiny's friends alright," remarked Spike.

Despite not saying a word, Moon Sky's mind was going a mile a minute.



"Moondancer," said Brain, "hurt or in trouble? We should-"

Heart cried out. "WE MUST SAVE HER!!"

"I agree."

"Don't try to tell me to calm down, that's our first friend out there and-waihuh?!"

"Moondancer, while the source of much discomfort in our lives, has been a benefit to us on the whole. Besides, if she does not attend her own annual celebration, we cannot technically say we have kept our promise."

"Oh, I'd feel terrible about that! In fact, I already kind of do. Hold me?"

"Later, I have a plan."



Moon Sky spoke up. "We should search for her. I am neither athletic nor skilled in combat magic, so I would only slow you down should things prove dangerous, but I will wait here on the chance she returns."

Spike raised a claw to object that hanging back was usually his thing, but before he knew it, he was telekinetically lifted onto Trixie's back, coming to rest on her soft cape. 

She turned to look at him with a wide, confident grin. "Today, you hunt with Trixie, little drake!"

His first thought was to object, but he glanced at the pair of guards. A man would not back down from a challenge. He would accept this quest! Quest to find the pony he really didn't want to see, but a quest just the same!

Fire Strike paced over to Sunset. "I'll make sure this one stays out of trouble." 

He got a withering look for that, but Sunset didn't verbally object. Possibly because she knew doing so would only make it sound like she was planning to pop into the nearest graveyard, raise an army of skeletons, and have them search the city for Moondancer while she sat back on a lawn chair. Or something. And she wasn't!

Silver Sword looked to Twilight. "I guess that leaves the two of us." She nodded once, so he turned to address Moon Sky. "Will you be alright here on your own?"

Luna felt an odd tangle of pride and shame for her practiced smile. "Yes, thank you, good luck in your search." 

When the others set off, she waited a full thirty seconds before focusing her power, teleporting high above the city, and invisibly shifting back to her true form to project the array of detection spells to find Moondancer. It would take some time, but if she found that Moondancer had come to harm, due process of law would be the least of her concerns.