//------------------------------// // Chapter 7 - Want It, Need It // Story: Portals. Portals Everywhere! // by Piece Bot //------------------------------// Days turned into weeks which turned into months. About three months after the turrets appeared in Ponyville, everyone got used to the fact that there were robots standing about the place, not doing anything. The ponies had even grown accustomed to the strange hairless monkey appearing out of nowhere, gesture wildly for a bit, then disappear again, always accompanied with a hail of projectiles from the turrets before they went back into standby mode. Meanwhile, Joseph and Twilight were reading together when Twilight walked over to her lectern and flipped through the calendar to see what day it was. Seeing that she had a day circled, she looked at the date and gasped. He looked up and raised an eyebrow. “I haven’t sent a letter to Princess Celestia about friendship! I’m overdue by two days!” Twilight said in a panic and began to zoom around the room, looking for a quill and paper. Joseph raised a finger but thought better of it and looked over to Spike. “What do you want me to do about it?” Spike asked. Joseph demonstrated by hugging himself and then pointing to Twilight. “Comfort her? You want me to comfort her?” Spike repeated, just to make sure. Joseph nodded and went back to his book, thinking the problem was fixed. Spike sighed and walked to Twilight, having every intention of comforting her when she suddenly teleported. Looking down at her calendar, he groaned and realised what today was. “Oh no. I have to get Twilight to calm down fast!” Spike said and rushed out the door, leaving Joseph looking bewildered. He put down the book and walked over to the calendar to see what all the fuss was about. Seeing that a picnic with her friends was scheduled, he simply shrugged, thinking nothing of it. That is, until he thought about the state that the pony was currently in. Then he panicked like Spike and raced out the door, only to be reminded of the fact that turrets stormed the place by a bulletstorm. He jumped back into the library and shut the door, leaving Spike to deal with Twilight instead. ‘Now what? I can’t go out because of the turrets. They have impressive range so I can’t go on the rooftops.” Joseph thought, pacing around the room before his foot bumped into the portal gun. He looked at it stupidly then looked at the potato. ‘Oh right. Crikey. Didn’t he say he can read my mind ….’ Joseph asked himself. “Of course I can read your mind!  Now, let’s go practice medicine. To Sugarcube Corner!” Crikey said in a perfect German accent. Joseph rubbed the back of his head and grabbed the gun, firing off a portal towards Sugarcube Corner, seeing it sail through an open window. He fired of another portal at the wall in front of him and was about to jump through, only to be interrupted by Twilight teleporting back home, her mane all in a frizz. He looked at her curiously, then jumped backwards as she let out an ear-piercing scream at whatever just happened. ‘What’s going on?’ Joseph thought in disbelief as he watched Twilight through the portal. It looked like she was going bat-shit crazy as she ran up the stairs and out of sight. Stepping back through the portal, he found Spike running inside and then pant for breath. He looked up and found Joseph standing there with his mouth hanging open. “Oh right. Can’t speak. This is worse than I thought. She went to Sugarcube Corner, grabbed the cupcakes-” Spike stopped talking as heard the potato speak in his head. ‘ooo spoopi cupcakes!‘ “Where did that voice come from?” Spike wondered, looking around the library for a bit. ‘ooo spoopi voooooice!’ “What is even ‘spoopi’? Also, stop it.” Spike said in a bit of a panic. ‘oooo spoopi sooopi! But you’re right, you should go help the Twilihorse’ “Not sure why I’m even taking orders from a voice in my head but as I was saying …” Spike said slowly, looking at Joseph. His mouth was still open but at least it was halfway closed now. He gestured for the dragon to continue as he tried to figure out who the hell Spike was talking to. “She went to Sugarcube Corner, and then I caught her on her way to Rarity’s. Twilight asked Rarity for any help, she needed finding a ribbon, Twilight found it, I gazed at Rarity for a few moments and then I lost Twilight.” Spike drooped a bit at this but then perked up as he continued on with his story. “I then found her over where we said the picnic was going to be. Everypony was there and then Twilight got a bit … crazy to say the least. She talked on and on about how she hasn’t sent a letter to Princess Celestia and after all her friends laughed at her problem and then she teleported. I guess you know the rest after that.” Spike said as he sat down. Then the potato on the portal gun beeped. "So? Why doesn't she just make some rubbish up like, I don't know, how true friends understand each other even when the words aren't truly spoken?" Crikey said in what he hoped was a helpful manner. Spike’s eyes moved to the potato at that. “Because she prefers to do it when she actually learns a lesson.” Spike said simply. “Just, tell her I learnt that lesson, or Joshu! Because I’m a telepathic Potato Battery.” Crikey countered. “It won’t work.” Spike argued and was going to say more when he was interrupted by something slamming shut upstairs. Joseph ran up the stairs before Spike could and then tumbled over the banister and back into the portal by Twilight, who was holding a doll of sorts in her magic. “Spike! I have the answer to all. My. Problems. Well, today’s one anyway.” Twilight announced grandly, shaking her Smarty Pants doll up and down. “Twilight, what are you going to do with that?” Spike asked cautiously, pointing to the doll with a claw. Instead of answering, she throws it at Joseph, hitting him on the head and effectively knocking him out due to the force of the throw. The doll rolled into Sugarcube Corner, causing the ponies in the bakery to look at it. “If I can’t solve a friendship problem, then I’ll make a friendship problem!” Twilight finally cracked and pointing her horn towards the doll, used the Want It, Need It spell. Everypony charged at it and then in a tangle of limbs, managed to take it outside.         Hours later, Joseph woke up to a throbbing headache. Sitting up, he looked around and found a portal in front of him. Groaning in pain, he walked back through and found the portal gun, hitting the button to fizzle out the portals. Hearing voices, he looked up to Twilight’s room and cautiously walked up the stairs, hoping that they don’t creak. Peeking his head around the doorframe, he found a blue shimmering tail as he realised the voices belonged to the princesses. Gulping, he stood to the side and decided to wait it out.         When a flash of blue and yellow appeared in the doorway, he sighed in relief and walked through the doorway. Looking at the six of them, he found that they were all hugging each other in what could possibly be relief.         He must have made a sound when he moved as they all looked up at him. He waved hesitantly, then dropped it. “We’re still here by the way” Crikey said without any form of subtlety or poise. Joseph stepped to the side as he heard some footsteps behind him. He looked and found Spike there. “Twilight, I couldn’t find- oh nevermind.” Spike said between pants, looking up at Joseph with a grin. “It’s okay Spike.” Twilight said with a giggle, disentangling herself from her friends. The rest of them all sat together and smiled at Joseph and Spike. Joseph just shook his head and looked at Twilight while rubbing at a bump on his forehead. “What?” Twilight asked, looking back at Joseph. “You hit him on the noggin with that doll horse of yours ya nit.” Crikey explained. “Um, oh. Well … uh … I wasn’t myself at the time?” Twilight said uncertainly, wondering if it was actually true or not. Whether it was, or wasn’t didn’t matter as Joseph shrugged, held his hands up and shook his head. Twilight understood what he said this time and smiled gratefully. “Water under the bridge. Got it.” A snort of giggling could be heard throughout the room as Pinkie finally processed what had happened. “You *snort* hit him on the head with a soft *giggle* toy? *hic*” Pinkie managed to say between breaths. Once she did, she continued laughing though with everyone else joining in. It’s been a few days since Twilight’s ‘incident’ but Joseph hasn’t gotten enough sleep. Seeing it was already about noon, he got up from his makeshift bed in the upstairs library in a dark corner where ponies never venture to. Mainly because the upper library was Twilight’s personal library and the downstairs library was the public library. Heading downstairs, he yawned and had a bit of lettuce to keep his strength up. Figuring a bit of training was in order, he went into the public library and began, after making sure there weren’t any ponies about. A portal was fired at a ceiling, and one at a wall. Running towards the wall, Joseph leaped through it and landed back on his feet, bouncing on the struts of his long fall boots. Thinking he had that down-pat, he went through the portal again but this time, he fired one directly underneath on his way through, making an infinite loop tunnel. Slowly righting himself, he looked around slowly as he kept changing position whenever he went through the portal. Finally finding a wall, he looked at the portal he kept going through and seeing it was blue, he looked at the wall again and fired. He went through blue and came out orange, crashing to a stop as he went through the window and kept going, somehow managing to avoid the turrets along the way. Crashing into a wall, he groaned and looked at the town upside down for a bit before his vision was blocked by a little purple filly with a sandy mane. Recognising her and seeing she was about to scream, he did the next best thing. He held a button on the portal gun and held her inside the electrical field the three black prongs made when activated. Her mouth closed in surprise when she was suddenly lifted off the ground. Looking around fearfully, she realised that she was being held by the device in the monster’s hands. Getting ready to scream again, she stopped when she heard a voice near her ear. “PSSST. Purple fillypony. Down here.” Crikey whispered. The filly looked down and kept a neutral face. “Good. Got your attention. My friend here is mute so he wants me to tell you that he is sorry for all the trouble he has caused.” Crikey whispered, not wanting the filly to actually scream. “G’Day sheila. The name is Crikey and he is Joseph. What is yours?” Crikey said in a louder voice, seeing that the filly was not going to scream. “Dinky. Sorry I screamed at you mister monster. I thought you were one of the things that meanie Discord magicked up.” Dinky replied, smiling a tiny bit as she saw the monster turn his frown into a smile and nod his head slightly. “He accepts your apology.” The potato said, reading Joseph’s thoughts. Joseph then lowered the filly down and let go of the button, shaking his finger from holding it down too hard. “It was nice talking to you. I have to go now. I promised I would meet my mum at the park.” Dinky smiled and waving, she turned and ran off. Feeling satisfied that the murderous grey pony family was finally off his case, somewhat, he turned and took a step before hearing a high-pitched robotic voice. His face fell and he turned, mid-step, towards the turret. Seeing it’s guns revving up, he just sighed and quickly fired a portal to the wall on its left and one underneath it. Watching it go through both portals a few times before picking up speed and shooting off into the forest, he felt great about the day ahead. Then he came face-to back with a whole line of turrets looking out into the forest. His face turned from happy to stunned to disbelief. And then he facepalmed, turned around and quickly walked back to the tree house for some much needed sleep.