Twilight's Grief I: A Cry From the Heart
It was raining on Ponyville. Dark clouds gathered above, pushed together by teams of pegasi with an appropriate sense of mood, the rain falling heavily upon the military buildings, washing away the blood of the battle.
Would that all the consequences of the fight could be so easily washed away.
So many were dead. Of the trainees who had paraded for their graduation that day, a full quarter would not see the sun rise again. That included most of the officers. Mayor Scootaloo lived, but only just; old as she was the doctors did not think that she would last the night.
Ponies moved throughout the grim and silent town. Some dug graves, others collected the detritus of the field. More moved without direction, wandering as though in a trance, their eyes hollowed out and glazed over. Some whispered silent words, words meant for none but themselves, words that nopony else would understand.
Blueberry Pie hated it.
"Come on, everypony," she said. "We're alive, aren't we? Isn't that reason enough to smile a little?"
"Yeah, we're alive," Dusk Shine growled. He was sitting on the ground, legs hunched up, chin resting on his knees. "We're alive because we got lucky. How is that any reason to celebrate."
"Don't say that," Blueberry said. "We're alive because-"
"Because what?" Dusk snapped. "Because we're so awesome? What does that make all the poor saps who died, huh? Not only are they dead, but you're going to say they were bad soldiers, too?"
"No-" Blueberry began.
"Then what?"
A shadow fell over Blueberry Pie as Red Delicious stepped in between her and Dusk Shine. "There ain't no call for you to talk to her that way. I know you're feelin' bad, we all are. No need to take it out on anypony, though."
Dusk snorted, and looked away. "Never mind." He got up and walked off, with a last dismissive gaze in the direction of Blueberry and Red.
"Thank you," Blueberry murmured.
Red shrugged. "It weren't nothing. Perhaps you shoudn't have bothered him."
"I just hate to see everypony looking so sad," Blueberry said softly. She was no direct relation to the famous Pinkie Pie, but her great-grandma Maud had raised her on stories of her famous sister, of how she had brought joy and laughter from one corner of Equestria to the other while Twilight Sparkle lived. Blueberry had only meant Great-Aunt Pinkie once, when Blueberry was young and Pinkie very old and very sad, but she could still remember all of great-grandma's stories, still remember how even the tales had brought her joy, of how she had wanted to so much to bring that same joy that her great-aunt once had.
It seemed she couldn't even raise a smile in a crisis. She wasn't much of a chip off the old block.
"It's a sad time," Red said.
"It doesn't have to be," Blueberry said. "Princess Twilight's alive, and she's come back to save us all, isn't that a reason to celebrate. We should be having a party, not being so gloomy all over the place. Pinkie could have gotten everypony to smile."
"Maybe," Red admitted. "Or maybe she would have known better than to try, at a time like this."
Blueberry remembered how solemn Aunt Pinkie had been, on the one occasion that they had actually met. "Maybe."
Mind Map stood in front of the grave of Greatheart, and snivelled.
His best friend was dead. And now he didn't even deserve to call Greatheart his friend. For how could such a hero be friends with such a coward.
Mind Map had ran. He had seen the Stratons coming, and he had turned his tail and run away. Greatheart had run towards the fighting, but Mind Map had run away from it.
"I'm sorry," Mind Map sniffed, as tears rolled down his face and mingled with the rain. "I'm so sorry. Greatheart, I-"
"Mind Map."
Mind Map stiffened as he heard Sentinel's name behind him. Had she come to kill him, for failing her brother, whom he had called his friend? Had she come to berate him for his cowardice? Had she come to coldly lecture him on how he wasn't fit to be a guard? If so, then she was right. He had only signed up because he didn't want Greatheart to leave him behind, because he had hoped to be able to stand alongside his friend one day. But when the time came, he had shown that he possessed no real courage.
Whatever Sentinel wanted to do to him, she would be justified in doing so. But Min Map hoped she would restrict herself to physical violence, rather than verbal; words could cut deeper than swords sometimes, especially when the words were deserved.
"Sentinel," Mind Map murmured. "I... I'm so sorry, I... I'm sorry that... I'm so sorry that I'm such a coward!"
"Mind Map," Sentinel's voice was surprisingly even, and when her hoof touched his shoulder it was surprisingly. "Calm yourself."
Mind Map gasped, and turned his head to look at her. Sentinel's eyes were not filled with anger or sorrow. Instead they were... flat. Empty, almost. If was as if all emotion had been driven from them, leaving her a blank and empty vessel.
"This is no time to get emotional," Sentinel said, her voice husky and quiet.
"No time," Mind Map said. "How can you say that?"
"What good does it do?" Sentinel asked. "Will it bring Greatheart back?"
"N-no, but-"
"Then what's the point?" Sentinel asked, her voice still soft. "Tears, tantrums, what's the point in any of it. You may as well save your energy for something productive."
"Productive?" Mind Map muttered incredulously. "Like what?"
Sentinel stared at him. "Greatheart's dead. Somepony else will have to save Equestria. He wouldn't want us to give up. We have to inherit his will. Everything you think you're feeling right now, lock it up. Use it to become stronger, and only then will you honour my brother's memory."
"Become stronger?" Mind Map laughed incredulously. "Sentinel, I'm not strong at all. I'm weak. I'm a coward-"
"You're smart," Sentinel said. "Maybe that doesn't matter much in an ambush, but next time, when we're the ones doing the ambushing, then your intelligence could matter a great deal. Or were you just going to give up? Desert, maybe? Take a cushy job in the Manehattan city garrison? Quit being a guard before you've even started?"
Mind Map hesitated before he said, "I was thinking about it. I know that we said we'd all join the Rangers together, but..."
"If you give up," Sentinel said. "Then you really are unworthy to be Greatheart's friend."
She said it without malice, but as a statement of simple truth. And it was perfectly true.
Mind Map hung his head. "I don't want anypony else to die because of me."
"What about the ponies who might live because of you?" Sentinel asked.
"What?" Mind Map said loudly. "How can you say that after-"
"Because Greatheart believed in you," Sentinel said. Her tone softened the merest fraction as she said. "And so do I."
Mind Map sobbed. "Why?"
Sentinel was silent for a moment. Then said, "Because...you were his friend."
Thunder and Kenzi stood guard outside Sugarcube Corner. Princess Twilight had been taken there after she collapsed, and Princesses Luna and Celestia were inside with her now.
"Do you think she's woken up yet?" Kenzi asked, as she sheltered from the rain in the shadow of the bakery doorway.
"No," Thunder said.
"How can you sound so sure?"
"When she wakes up, we'll know about it," Thunder murmured.
"You sound so foreboding," Kenzi griped.
"I know what it's like to have your whole world ripped away from you," Thunder said. "And that's what Princess Twilight is about to experience."
Kenzi blinked. "You think so."
"Think about it," Thunder said. "I doubt she knows this is a hundred years into the future. She doesn't know she's been considered dead for all that time. She doesn't know that all her friends have died grieving for her. She'll have to learn all of that all at once while stuck in a strange place with no friends. That... that's worse than anything I ever had to deal with. When Princess Twilight wakes up... we'll hear her crying."
They had laid Twilight out in what had been Pinkie Pie's old room. It had been covered in a layer of dust, but a quick spell from Luna had banished all of it. She had been surprised to note how many of Pinkie's things were still there: the bed, the stuffed bear, one or two photographs. Pictures of parties long ago. Considering that Twilight was in all of them, Luna wondered why Pinkie had left them behind. Perhaps she couldn't bear to look at them any more.
They had put Twilight in the bed, where now she slumbered. Celestia stood over her like an old and faithful guard dog, looking down at her with such fierce tenderness that Luna knew it would take a small army to move her elder sister from Twilight's side.
"Is it not extraordinary, Luna?" Celestia murmured. "Is it not the most miraculous thing. My Twilight, my brave pony... she has come back to us. At the darkest hour, fate brought her back to me."
"It is, as you say, a miracle," Luna said softly. "And yet..."
"And yet?"
"Yet what will she awake to, but sorrow and grief," Luna said. "Perhaps it would have been better had she not returned."
"How can you say that?"
"I can say that because I am thinking of Twilight," Luna replied. "What kind of life will she have in this brave new Equestria? A life alone, friendless?"
"She will have me, and Spike," Celestia said sharply.
"She has nopony else," Luna answered. She sighed. "But what is done is done, and Twilight has returned."
"We must do all we can for her," Celestia said.
"I fear we may have need to ask more of her than we can ever give."
Celestia glared at her. "Luna, no. No. I will not allow it."
"Is it not her choice?"
"Twilight has given so much already," Celestia said. "She gave her-"
"Life? Clearly not," Luna said. "I know that this sounds harsh, is harsh, but if you could but be the ruler that you once where you would see. Grogar has returned. Who but Twilight has the strength to stand against him."
"We do," Celestia murmured.
"Perhaps," Luna replied carefully. "But we are both grievously out of practice, it appears, considering our showing today. Without Twilight's help we would have fallen."
"After one hundred years, she has returned," Celestia whispered. "After so many tears Twilight has come back to me, and you would have me cast her into the fire once again?"
"There was a time when you would not have hesitated."
"There was a time when Twilight had five brave friends ranged about her," Celestia said. "There was a time when the most powerful magic known to Ponykind belonged to them. There was a time... there was a time when I was a fool."
"That time was not then," Luna murmured. That time was much more recent, if it is past.
"Was it not?" Celestia asked. "Then why did I spend crisis after crisis sitting smug and safe in my gilded tower in Canterlot, using others as my weapons, sending one who was dearer than daughter to me out to fight in my place until she... until she was gone."
"Because you were wise," Luna said. "Because you recognised her worth, her valour, her strength, her compassion. Could such a font of all the virtues, who loved you dear as life itself, have sat idle while you fought, and risked yourself? While Equestria stood in jeopardy. You are not responsible for Twilight's actions, you are not responsible for the perils that she willingly endured, and it dishonours not only Twilight but the memory of all her friends to talk and act as though they were mere puppets jerking in obedience to your will."
Celestia was silent for a moment. She looked away from Luna, and back down at Twilight. "Perhaps," she said. "But I can choose not to expose her to danger any more."
"Do you think she will accept to be coddled by you when she learns what is at stake?" Luna demanded. "Alone or not she is Twilight Sparkle, the greatest archmage since Star Swirl and the best mare to ever walk the lands of Equestria. And so, though it may break your heart, break both our hearts, we have no choice but to put her in the line of peril once again."
"You have grown cold, little sister," Celestia murmured.
"I have been alone, these hundred years," Luna replied. "If I am cold, the burden of these times has made me so."
"Do you want an apology?"
"I want you to do something about the state the country's in," Luna snapped. She sighed. "I am sorry. I should not have lost my temper."
"It is alright," Celestia said. "Clearly much has gone awry while I grieved. But that will change. Now that Twilight is returned... with her by my side we will make Equestria great again."
Provided she does not lose herself in grief, as you once did, Luna thought.
"Oh, some of the new designs I've been coming up with lately are simply divine, even if I do say so myself," Rarity drawled, pausing for only a moment to take a sip of tea. "I must be having a burst of creativity. You all simply must come back to the boutique and see them, I'm dying to see what you think."
"I can't make it right away," Rainbow said. "But I'll be right down once I'm done with Scootaloo. I think she might actually start to fly soon. She just needs a little more practice."
Applejack smiled. "The way Apple Bloom talks about how Scootaloo's doin', you'd almost think it was her doin' it. You've really done right by that filly, Rainbow, I'm proud of you."
Rarity nodded. "Sweetie Belle is just the same. Congratulations, Rainbow Dash, it seems you've been a truly magnificent role model."
"Well, when you're as awesome as I am you owe it to the world to help spread it around."
"Aww, our little Rainbow Dash is all grown up," Pinkie said with a chuckle.
"Pinkie, you're the youngest pony here," Fluttershy murmured.
Twilight smiled. She and her friends were picnicking, the chequered blanket lain out upon the grass and laden down with cakes and sandwiches, each one looking more delicious than the next.
"I love all of you, so much," she murmured.
Everypony looked at her.
"Aww, shucks, Twi, you know we all feel the same way about you," Applejack said.
"I know," Twilight said, in a tone of absolute blissful contentment. "Just... promise me we'll always be this way, together forever, okay?"
The landscape changed. The grass disappeared, the sky vanished, even the picnic was gone from view. There was now nothing more than grey mist stretching endlessly, blinding Twilight to everything but her friends.
"What's going on?" Twilight asked. "Where did everything go?"
"Where everything always goes," Rainbow said. "Nothing lasts forever, Twilight."
She vanished.
Twilight's eyes widened. "Rainbow? Rainbow Dash? Where are you? Where is she? Did you just see that?"
Nopony seemed to have noticed. Or if they did, nopony cared.
"She's only gone to prepare a place for the rest of us, Twilight," Applejack said. "Ain't nothing to get upset over."
"But where has she gone?"
"Hay if I know," Applejack said. "But I guess I'll find out when the time is right." Applejack, too, disappeared.
"Applejack!" Twilight cried. "What is this? What's going on?"
"We're sorry, Twilight," Fluttershy said, her voice soft and gentle like the breeze. "But I'm afraid we can't stay any longer." Then she was gone.
"No," Twilight moaned. "No, please don't."
"Even the most fantabulously fun parties have to end, Twilight," Pinkie said. "After all, if the same party just lasted for ever and ever and ever then there would never be any chance to have new parties, and the old party would just get boring and then they wouldn't be fun any more and a party that isn't fun is so terrible it doesn't bear thinking about!"
"Pinkie," Twilight murmured. "Please stay."
Pinkie smiled. "The party's over, Twilight. But it sure was fun, wasn't it?" And then there was no Pinkie Pie any more.
Only Rarity remained, standing as proud as beautiful as a painting and as graceful as a queen.
"Please don't leave me," Twilight begged.
"I stayed as long as I could, Twilight," Rarity replied. "But it turns out I just couldn't stay any longer. The others have all started without me, but a lady is always fashionably late. We'll wait for you, darling. Don't forget us."
"I don't understand," Twilight said.
Rarity smiled. "You will. Time to wake up, Twilight."
"Twilight?"
Twilight's eyes opened. She was in... Pinkie's room? Yes, it was, but at the same time not quite how Twilight remembered. More sparse, more empty. And no Pinkie. Instead, it was Celestia's voice that called to her, Celestia's face hovering overhead. Celestia's eyes filled with tears.
"Princess Celestia?" Twilight murmured. "What are you-"
"Oh, thank goodness," Celestia cried. "Oh, Twilight... I am so, so glad to hear your voice again."
"Why?" Twilight asked. "What's going on? Why am I in Pinkie's bed?"
Celestia was quiet for a moment. She looked behind her, and Twilight saw that Princess Luna was there, looking unusually stern.
"Princess Luna?" Twilight said. "Why are you here?"
Luna bowed her head. "It is a great pleasure to see you safe and sound, Twilight Sparkle."
Twilight sat up in bed. "Okay, now you're both starting to worry me a little bit. What's the matter? What aren't you telling me?"
"Perhaps you should rest for a little-"
"No," Twilight said. "Princess Celestia, I know you mean well, but I'm not a child. I can tell that there is something wrong here. I remember what I saw and what I saw wasn't Ponyville. Why is my home so different? Why were there so many guards but nopony else? Where did the apple orchards go? Where's Pinkie? Where's Spike? Where are my friends? Please, just tell me what's going on?"
Celestia closed her eyes for a moment, and said nothing. She sighed, and when she spoke her voice was solemn and weighted down as if with lead or heavy stones.
"What I am about to tell you will be painful for you, Twilight," Celestia murmured. "But I ask you to be as brave as I know that you can be when you hear it."
A piercing cry of pain echoed out into the night of Ponyville, splitting the skies and striking the clouds. It was a cry of heartache, a cry like the cry of a mother phoenix returning to the nest and finding all the eggs smashed or stolen by vicious dragons. It was the cry of one whose world has fallen down around them, and who has nothing to stand on now that the foundations on which they built their life have crumbled into nothing. It was a wail so loud, so sharp, so heartbreaking that every pony left in Ponvyille stopped to listen to it. Some bowed their heads in grief, some began to weep, some shivered in fear at that cry that sounded almost like a ghost, as though Princess Twilight herself had died of a broken heart when news of her friends' death was brought to her.
Thunder bowed his head, and closed his eyes as the rain dripped out of his mane and down his nose.
"She sounds terrible," Kenzi murmured.
"What do you expect?" Thunder asked. "Everything she loved has just been ripped away from her, and she's been condemned to wander for the rest of her days in a strange land, a permanent outsider, unknown to most, disliked by some, loved by less than a few. That isn't a fate I'd wish on anypony."
Kenzi looked at him with compassion in her eyes. "Will she ever get over it?"
Thunder shook his head sadly. "I doubt it."