Ahead, there was a railroad trestle connected to a long bridge that crossed the chasm. There was a crude packed gravel patch crossing where the road met the railroad tracks. Just beyond the crossing, a section of road forked off and followed the tracks. A sign at the junction said, “Las Pegasus” and had an arrow pointing towards the west. Also off to the west were mountains.
Overhead, dark, puffy clouds billowed and the sky churned, threatening more rain. The rain wasn’t so bad, but hail was problematic to deal with. The day was warm, but the wind blowing up from the south was icy, it was so cold that the gusts caused both Maud and Tarnish to shiver.
Crossing the railroad tracks, the pair continued south, following the winding road, braving the wind, and keeping an eye skyward for the threat of rain. Maud moved with purpose, pulling the wagon at a good pace, in a hurry to be where she was going. Tarnish moved at her side, ready to pull out Flamingo if there was trouble, or his canteen if Maud was thirsty.
Blinking, disbelieving what she was seeing, Maud came to halt. Ahead, there was supposed to be a forest of beautiful, but thorny acacia trees, hardy survivors of the desert regions and places prone to drought. She stared ahead, shook her head, and could not look away from the sight.
The burned out remains of a few trees still stood, but they were gone, along with many shrubs and other plants. There was supposed to be a forest here… and beyond it, the endless fields of blue poison joke. It was gone. All of it was gone. As far as the eye could see, the land was burnt, black, scorched.
It had all been burned away.
Maud tried to say something and found that she couldn’t. All that came out of her mouth was a pained grunt. She could feel the land beneath her hooves, she could hear a faint cry. It resonated through her hooves and echoed in between her ears. She knew that if she continued forwards, the cry would turn into screaming.
“What… what happened here?” Tarnish asked.
“They burned it all away,” Maud replied. She shook her head. “Some fools burned away everything just to get rid of the poison joke. Tarnish, I can feel the very wrongness coming up through my hooves.”
“Should we turn back? Head home? What do we do?” Tarnish looked at his wife and knew that she was suffering, even if there were hardly any outward visible indicators.
“No.” Maud swallowed, it was hard, a large painful lump clung to the back of her throat. “No, we’ve come too far. We continue and do what we had planned. Tarnished Teapot, be glad that you are not an earth pony.”
A cold wind gusted and with it came ashes and dust. The dust was gritty and irritated Tarnish’s eyes. With his eyes watering, Tarnish stared ahead at the vast expanse of dead earth, not knowing how to feel or what to say.
Staring at the burned out landscape, Tarnish nodded. “We’ll keep going then.”
Ashes swirled in the breeze like snowflakes. The pair continued forwards, now silent, staring at the dead earth around them. The road wound through the burned out remains of trees. A stream clogged with ashes was visible from the road. It appeared to be soapy, it foamed and bubbled as it burbled over the filthy grey rocks.
Bones poked up out of the water and Maud knew what had happened. Maud knew why the water appeared soapy—animals had come to the stream to escape the flame, perished from the heat, the rendered fat of the dead mixed with ashes, and the natural lye in the ashes had saponified with the fat of the animals, forming a crude soap. For a brief instant, Maud loathed chemistry and felt disgusted for knowing.
She turned away from the horrible sight and looked at Tarnish, hoping for some kind of comfort, but there was none to be had. Without knowing how she knew, Maud knew that this had been an intentional act. The earth felt violated, it was angry, it was hurt. The ground would not feel this way if this had been caused by a lightning strike.
As they continued along the road of horror, Maud felt that she wanted to rage. She wanted to kick, she wanted to scream, she wanted to boil over with anger. But her face remained one of stoic calm. She maintained the same sleepy, almost bored expression that she always had.
It was getting harder to pull the wagon, Maud felt the violated land was sapping her strength. She hoped that she had enough of her strength left within her to pull through this mess and get to their destination. They would have to take another route home; she wasn’t certain that she could face this again.
It felt as though the land didn’t want her to pull the wagon and keep going. The land wanted her to stay. The land needed her, to walk over the scorched earth and burnt places. The land needed her to heal it. The land, having been so thoroughly violated, needed earth ponies to tend its horrific, scabbed over, charred wound.
Maud leaned into her harness and pulled. It took real effort now, and she was feeling weaker by the minute.
At long last, Maud began to see familiar landmarks. She focused upon them and pulled ahead in an almost mechanical manner. The wagon was heavy, far too heavy, and she didn’t feel good, not at all. She knew that stopping now would be foolish. She kept moving, her muscles feeling weak and fatigued.
The air reeked of ozone now, it almost drowned out the stench of the burned woods all around them. Maud thought about asking Tarnish for help; she would if she had to, there would be no shame in it. She needed to be away from this place, this burned out place of horror. She needed to be among the rocks, soft earth, and living things.
Ahead was the Crack of Doom—perhaps one of the most inhospitable places in Equestria. Maud wondered if it was irony that she longed to be in that place and away from this nightmare landscape all around her. The Crack of Doom seemed downright inviting compared to this slice of Tartarus on earth.
The burned forest was now behind them. The landscape was now rocky, full of boulders, jutting rocks, gravel, and bare patches of dirt. Tarnish, sensing that something had been wrong with Maud, was keeping an eye on her. Whatever had been wrong with her, she seemed to have recovered, or at least felt better.
Tarnish meanwhile had never felt quite so good. He thought of the day that he had ran out into the wild storm on the Pie family rock farm and stood in the vortex. It had blinded him, but he had felt wonderful. He felt invigourated. He felt strong. He felt a little amorous and wanted to sweep Maud into a dance.
He lept up onto a boulder to get a better look around. There wasn’t much in the way of greenery growing here. There was some kind of moss or lichens growing on the rocks. There was some dried out brown grass. He became aware of the fact that there were no birds chirping, the sky and the land surrounding him was quiet.
In the distance, he saw a metal sign secured to a post. There was no road here, they had left the road some time ago, but there was something of a narrow trail, large rocks and boulders had been pushed aside. Tarnish remembered that Maud had mentioned that the university of Las Pegasus had sent students here.
He lept down from the rock, mindful of his gimpy leg, which still caused him a twinge of pain on occasion, and trotted over to the sign. Clearing his throat, he read the sign out loud.
“Caution: Bad magic present. Be advised that this area and the surrounding environs have been deemed a major hazard by the Crown. If you continue, you will be exposed to fatal levels of magical radiation.” Tarnish saw a row of pony skulls and crossbones.
Tarnish shook his head and watched as Maud approached with the wagon.
“This is new,” Maud said as she looked at the shiny metal sign. “Just think Tarnish, a committee made this sign. This is our tax bits at work.” The dark grey mare shook her head.
“I’m feeling weird, Maud.” Tarnish, who had been staring at the sign, blinked as his vision fuzzed over. “I feel good, real good, but weird. Like… like I’m getting drunk.”
Concerned, Maud began unhitching herself from the wagon. She looked at Tarnish’s amulet as she undid the straps and buckles. It was turning darker, then lighter, then darker, and then lighter. Maud could only speculate that Tarnish’s body had to be doing something to compensate for the magic in the air, which had to be dangerous.
Everything felt off. The Crack of Doom wasn’t supposed to reach out this far. Maud kicked the brakes on the wagon then turned to look at Tarnish. He had the same dopey look on his face he had on the day he had walked into the wild magic storm.
And then, Tarnish took off at a strong canter, his hooves clopping over the rocks. Maud glanced at the wagon for one final moment and then back at her husband, who was acting strange. She took off after him, wondering what had come over him.
“Tarnish, slow down,” Maud said as she chased after her husband. She had her strength back, most of it, she was recovering now that she was back on living ground. “Tarnish, what has come over you? Come back here, talk to me.” She watched as Tarnish pronked from one boulder to another several yards away. He had a huge stupid grin on his face.
The air was humid, steam rose up from several fissures, and the air was thick with the stench of ozone and rotten eggs. Off in the distance was the Crack of Doom. Fumaroles vented gasses and things around them hissed. Maud could not remember the land being like this the last time she was here. Sure, there had been some steam and a few fissures, but this, the land had changed. Something had caused it to worsen.
Tarnish came to a halt and let out a wordless cry of alarm. Maud hurried to his side, fearing for his safety. She too came to a skidding halt in the gravel when she saw two bodies. They were little more than bones. They had tool belts, hats, and surveyor vests. A metal sign and a signpost lay on the ground beside them. One of the bodies was a unicorn and the other was a pegasus.
Eyes wide with fear, Tarnish flipped the metal sign over. He stared at the words and then his head turned to look at the bodies. After a moment, he sighed and looked at the words. “Danger! Death! Please evacuate area!”
“It shouldn’t be this bad… Tarnish, something is wrong,” Maud said in the same monotone that she always spoke in. She glanced at the bodies and then at the changed landscape around her, recognising a few landmarks. “Tarnish, this is where the school camped. This was our basecamp. It was deemed safe when we stayed here. Something has gone wrong.”
“I feel itchy all over… I’m feeling really weird, Maud… my amulet is glowing black.”
Maud looked at her husband just in time to watch as his eyes turned white and began to glow. Fearful, she began to back away, but then steeled her nerves to move forwards so that she could stand at his side.
Maud, who had no idea what was going on, watched as the earth around her came to life. Massive rocks, boulders, giant stones, they all began to vibrate. The gravel beneath her hooves trembled and she felt an odd tingling in her hooves. Tarnish’s eyes were white, glowing, and his horn emitted a brilliant blue light that made Maud’s eyes sting. She had to squint and as the light grew ever brighter, she was forced to turn away.
The rocks around her began to float in the air, rising up from the earth. Maud felt herself being lifted, and everything was growing weirder. Even airborne, she could feel her connection to the earth, it felt as though her hooves were still on solid ground.
“Maud, I feel funny… I’m feeling really strange!” Tarnish shouted.
Floating, Maud tried to reach him, tried swimming, but there was no way for her to move through the air. Some of the rocks floating around her had to be several tons. Tarnish was still rooted to the ground, but his mane and tail floated all around him, as if gravity had lost its hold upon them.
“Tarnish, baby, fight against it, don’t give in… whatever is happening, I don’t think it’s good,” Maud said in a loud voice.
“No Maud,” Tarnish replied. “It’s good… I understand now. I understand everything. It’s time to let go.”
“Tarnish!” Maud’s voice came out as something that almost resembled panic. She kicked in the air but was unable to move. “Tarnish, focus! I think you’re surging!” Maud watched as a strange bright blue mist began to creep from Tarnish’s glowing white eyes—something was happening and it terrified her. She had no clue what was going on. Tarnish was… smiling? He looked as though he was about to orgasm, an expression that Maud knew in intimate detail.
There was an ominous crackle and Tarnish’s weird magic seemed to be reaching some sort of crescendo. As Maud floated in the air, watching, unable to do anything, she saw Tarnish’s cutie mark. The two little blue buds that extended from the main plant were growing. After a moment, Tarnish now had three full grown and fully developed poison joke flowers as his cutie mark, he was now like so many other ponies that had groupings of three.
Maud sucked in a painful breath and watched as something green sprouted near Tarnish’s right front hoof. After what felt like a small eternity, the ground around them erupted in green growing things. Tendrils began to snake through the gravel and dug down into the ground below. The first blue bud appeared, it trembled for a moment but then exploded, revealing a brilliant blue flower.
All around Maud, poison joke began to bloom. The ground was alive with its growth. Tarnish’s whole body was surrounded by a blue haze. He was also laughing, laughing as though he was being tickled.
The poison joke continued its explosive, rapid, supernatural growth and Maud could not help but feel that something in the land was turning right. Feeling very relieved, Maud realised that Tarnish was going to be okay. Always a stoic, Maud waited, suspended in the air, waiting for the magic surge to pass.