//------------------------------// // Chapter2: May24 // Story: Mandatory Motherhood // by dargondarkfire //------------------------------// Mandatory Motherhood By DargonDarkFire Ch. 2 May 24. That first night I learned a bit about alien pony foals, such as they can only be placated by sleeping next to them, and not just in the same room. I guess it should have been obvious that Starla would want companionship as a newborn. I could never really provide that when I babysat before, but things are different now. I'm not Starla's mom, but she doesn't know that; it would be cruel to push her away for now. I already accepted the responsibility for taking care of her, and that includes emotional needs too. Anyway, there were complications, of what I hope isn't a sign of things to come for all my future nights. Originally, I had tucked her in in the adjacent bedroom so I wouldn't disturb her sleep while I was doing work on the computer. I did not expect her to wake up every hour and cry for attention. Speaking of her crying, did I mention that my new body has incredibly sensitive hearing now? Before my change I could already hear better than most people but—oh my gosh—not only are my ears more sensitive and rotate towards noises like a directional microphone, it also seems ear plugs do nothing to lessen the noise! Well, improvised ear plugs using cotton balls; it was a pain to put them in, and even harder to get them out. I wasn't trying to ignore her, but being woken up with my new sensitive ears gives me a really bad headache after the adrenaline wears off, not to mention the ache of my ears. She woke me three times before I got the hint and moved her to my room, though unfortunately being in the same room was not enough. After the fourth time she woke me up (though she was much quieter when she realized I was nearby), I just ended up hugging her next to me. I was worried that I might roll over on her in my sleep, but it seems my this new body is quite sensitive to being with other bodies, and I actually slept much better (not just because I wasn't woken up again) holding Starla than I did alone... The tone of the next day was set right as I woke up. Rather, I had a shocking wake up call. I had apparently slept through Starla trying to feed herself from my new mammaries again, at least until she bit them when nothing was coming out. It turns out foals are born with some of their teeth already grown in. I began to despair that she won’t give up until she is past needing milk. Even though I can’t feed Starla the way she seems to prefer, I can still feed her by warming up a bottle of milk. Changing her diaper on the other hand—hoof?—is another story. Using my mouth was incredibly unsanitary but I wasn’t sure how else to go about it. Without fingers, I just can’t get the diaper folds in place while sticking the adhesive tags down, and it doesn’t help that she like to counter my efforts by constantly move around during the messy procedure. I decided to try using velcro next time, and see if that made any difference. After taking care of Starla’s needs for the morning, I decided that my first goal for the day would be to go to city hall and the courthouse. If there were any other survivors in the city, I would want to gather them together, and one of those places—I wasn’t sure which—housed the controls for the town’s tornado sirens and recorded message system. I planned on changing the message and set up the siren to go off periodically to gather anyone who was left behind, though I would also have to make rounds for anyone like Starla that needed help. At least that was the plan before I got a good whiff of myself. I was getting kind of ripe since I hadn’t bathed the previous day, and I wasn’t about to emulate actual horses’ hygiene habits by doing without. Bathing at home wasn’t possible since my bathtub’s spout lever—to switch the tap to shower—was rusted shut, so I decided it was time to do what I always secretly wanted to do: take over the neighbor’s apartment! Unfortunately my neighbors weren’t very trusting people—I have no idea why—as they had locked their door before The Vanishing. I briefly considered the best way on how to break into another apartment without hands, and finally decided to try just kicking the apartment door open. One problem: I couldn’t exactly kick like a human anymore, but I’ve seen videos of bulls and horses bucking during rodeos, so I thought I’d give that a try. I set Starla to the side, and feeling very much like an animal I gave the locked door a good buck with my (hind) legs. I thought it might take a couple of kicks, but apparently I underestimated my own, heh, horse power, and the door shattered with a very loud crunch on the first kick. For a moment I had a horrifying image of the vanished neighbors reappearing—demanding to know what the heck I was doing to their property—but it passed as no one reacted save Starla who winced and folded her ears down. I wasn’t sure how I should go about washing myself given my new grasp-less limbs, without using my mouth. Sure, my freakishly long yet flexible neck meant I could reach much of my new body despite being a quadruped—aside from the taste of using my mouth to grip things such as: plastic handles, bottles of shampoo, and a sponge—but I still had many areas I couldn’t reach on my own. The neighbors’ shower had a detachable shower head that was thankfully lying on a plastic seat in their bath—probably not too surprising given their age. After filling the tub with warm water up to Starla’s tummy the bottom of Starla’s barrel Starla’s tummy, I removed her fresh diaper and set it on the nearby counter. Once we were both in the bathtub, I tried to hold the shampoo bottle between my hooves only to have Starla slap it with her hoof knocking it out of my grasp. I gave her a very firm no in response. She seemed to understand and let me try again without interruption. She shivered a bit as the shampoo began to soak into her mane and fur, but she started to giggle as bubbles began to rise up from her coat and float around us. I had to be careful rubbing the soap into her coat since I only had my hooves to work with—I wished I had located a sponge beforehand—but I ended up not needing it as Starla decided to climb on top of me, lathering my coat up as well. The bathtubs in these apartments are small, but to Starla it might as well be a swimming pool. She took to the water better than I thought since she wouldn’t hold still while I tried to rinse her off; she was having a blast stomping, splashing, and hopping around the tub. If I wasn’t having so much fun myself I would be upset over her getting more shampoo into her fur every time she rubbed up against me. Other than Starla getting shampoo bubbles back into her fur repeatedly, she wasn’t too hard to rinse off. I, however, was not so easy. With the shower-head in my mouth I twisted and turned my head trying to spray myself down, but there were spots I just couldn’t reach by myself. I ended up having to wedge the shower-head between the spout and temperature controls to get at those spots. It worked well, at least up until the point when the spray came to my new ‘equipment’; the sensation of the water hitting me there freaked me out enough to end the shower. Drying off was also a chore; Starla took a single large towel to dry off, but she constantly tried to ball up inside of it. I could only laugh when she wound it up into her own little nest. Drying myself off, however, took four towels and not only did I have to rub myself down but I had to roll around on top of one just to finish drying off. I took a small hand-towel and made sure Starla’s rump and tail were dry before I put her diaper back on. Thankfully this time it didn’t feel as awkward since Starla just had a bath. For the trip to the city hall and courthouse, I packed a diaper bag, a baby seat, a cooler with milk, duct tape, and a couple more of those four footed canes the elderly use into a collapsible wagon that I had previously grabbed from my workplace. Starla mimicked me and stuffed her unicorn plushie, as well as some random things from around the house into a spare diaper bag. It was so adorable watching her try to carry it from the apartment to the sidewalk, though she eventually gave up carrying it and dragged it along behind her. I chose to take my mother’s SUV instead of the truck from the hospital as it was more gas efficient and comfortable. I figured if I needed to gather more supplies I could switch back to using the truck later. Of course, using a different vehicle meant I had to convert it for pony-friendly driving. I should emphasize that duct tape tastes awful. I had to stick my hoof through the hole in the big wheel of duct tape then bite it to cut the tape when I was done securing the cane to the pedals. When I finished, I collected Starla for the trip. She had been tasting the nearby bushes and a truck tire, though I doubt she will try licking tires again based on her expression of disgust. I tried to get her to rinse her mouth out with a bottle of water but she just gave the bottle a funny look. She figured out what I wanted her to do after I pinched the bottle with my fetlock and turned my mouth to the side letting the water flow through my mouth. She looked adorable as she tilted her head to the side letting the water cleanse her palate. Well, the courthouse turned out to be a dead-end. I had to go through the parking garage to get in but the tornado alert control system wasn’t located there. However, since almost every door was unlocked, I had free rein to look at any documents I could get my hooves on. Except all of the filing cabinets were locked. I suppose if I wanted to spend hours bucking the locks on the cabinets I could look through the housing documents to see if anything in town would solve my power issues, but I pushed that idea away for now. As I finished my inspection I pulled a giggling Starla out from under a desk and let her ride on my back. “You’re such a silly filly, Starla.” At my unintentional rhyme I chuckled in a way that—on reflection—sounded like a giggle. The City hall was more difficult to get into, as the police station shared the same building. The entrance had a security checkpoint that blocked all access, unless you climbed over the counter. So, I did just that; I picked Starla up with my mouth and raised myself to stand on my hind legs to gain enough height to deposit her on top of the counter, then scaled it myself. Unlike my old body, this new one is not built for such a vertical climb. I thought about what a sight that would have been to an observer, before I had a moment of clarity when I realized that I'm technically naked. Any watchers would have had quite a show, assuming seeing an alien pony's private parts did anything for them. I wouldn’t know; I’m still afraid to look again. I just wished I had found some pants that fit. The first stop was actually the break room, since I was hungry and thought I might as well eat local supplies before they all went bad. After feeding Starla—from a bottle I brought along, heated in a microwave—and myself, I began searching the nearby locker rooms. I went through several lockers, digging through uniforms before I found what I was looking for: a set of keys to the restricted areas of the building. I turned to go collect Starla when I about died from the scene of Starla inside one of the uniforms I had tossed aside, wearing an officer's cap. The cap was larger than her head, but her horn was propping it up. It was absolutely adorable! As I searched around the building Starla trailed behind me with the cap in her mouth. As stressful as taking care of a child is—human or not—the cute things she does like that make it worthwhile. I wonder if I had my own kids if they will be this mixture of crazy and adorable. ...Wait. Unless I adopt, the only way I’d have my own kids now would be if I was the one getting pregnant! I could become pregnant. That strange thought gives me a warm feeling in the pit of my stomach. I'm pretty sure I would have felt differently before? Ugh, this is so confusing! Anyway, it was hard to get Starla to keep following me as it seemed she wanted to explore and taste everything in creation. Eventually, we ended up at the armory and to my delight one of the keys opened the door, however it was a struggle to keep the door to stay open while keeping Starla from running around. I finally shoved a chair into the opening; now if I ever need to defend us, and I figure out how to use guns with hooves, I have access to my own little arsenal! Of course as soon as I took my attention off Starla she decided to scamper off; luckily the sound of her hooves on the stone-tiled floor alerted me of her departure. I turned in time to see her tail go around a corner. I took off after her, almost tripping over myself several times, but I was able to keep close enough to see where she went. When she finally stopped, she was laying down in front of the emergency 911 help center. “What am I going to do with you, Starla? Please don’t run off on me again.” I sighed and had a look around. I do admit that the chase did end with us at a convenient place. Scooping Starla onto my back, I headed inside. I guess Starla is my lucky star because after inspecting the various consoles in the room, I found the siren control system. It took awhile before I finally figured out the controls and was able to record a new message for the warning system to play. I set the system to activate the sirens every six hours and repeat the following message: “Attention any survivors! Please gather at the Gillette Court House at 3 pm! We need to work together and figure out a plan of action. I repeat: all survivors please gather at the Gillette Court House at 3 pm! This message will repeat every six hours.” I smiled at my work before quickly pulling Starla away from some wires she had started to chew on, and headed back to the SUV. I spent the next few hours driving around neighborhoods looking at the various homes. None had solar panels in this neighborhood, but then again this area isn’t an upper middle class destination. I decided to abort the hunt for a sun powered home when a stench hit me and Starla got fussy. I stopped at a Kum & Go to change her diaper and raid the place for anything useful. I wasn’t able to find any velcro for Starla’s diaper, so I tried to roll her to the side to get the tabs to stick. While I thought it would work at first she started to roll herself back and forth and ended up getting the adhesive tape stuck to her tail. I tried to get it off but she decided it was time to play catch the diaper and I ended up chasing her around the store a fair bit before I finally caught the diaper with my mouth, thankfully it’s a clean diaper, but I learned baby powder doesn’t taste very good. I carefully folded Starla’s dirty diaper and slid it into a plastic bag before I disposed of it in the dumpster out back. Score one for finding some way to not pick that thing up with my mouth! When I went to high school a long time ago, everyone was required to take a mandatory parenting class. Most of the students detested it and forgot most of what they learned afterwards, but I actually enjoyed the class. The class itself covered everything from changing diapers to feeding, burping, and nurturing infants. It also covered how to raise, care for, and discipline a child (and all the wrong ways to avoid). My time in the class wasn’t wasted; the lessons learned were useful in helping my mother when she baby sat, and I have no idea where I would be with Starla without those lessons. I guess thinking about that made me think of my old high school, because I soon found myself in the neighborhood it was in. I decided to stop by it on the way home—well, where my old high school used to be located. They built a new building in a new location, and bulldozed the old one. I stared at the empty plot of land for a while, imagining the building still there and the kids walking around. I’m sure it was a metaphor for the current situation somehow, but before I could take that thought any further I was pulled out of my ruminations as I was bopped by Starla’s stuffed unicorn. The absurdity of the contrast between my melancholic thoughts and having a stuffed unicorn thrown at me gave me quite the laughing fit. I ruffled her mane after I calmed down and handed (hooved?) her plushie back to her. I ended up stopping by Amore’s house and talked to her for a bit. She couldn’t reply back, at least not in English—she did huff, whine, whimper, and growl at certain points, which makes me wonder if she actually understood me—but I monologued at her as Starla ran around her legs and played with her. I guess I mostly was just dumping my worries on her, but it felt good to get things off my chest. Except my chest is technically under me now, so would the new phrase be ‘Off my back’? I did ask Amore if she wanted to come with me, but she responded by whimpering and looking at the door of her house. I gave her a hug and a smile before heading home. She did look kind of worried as I left, but maybe that was just my imagination? I unloaded the SUV before lunch. It’s very hard to prepare food with a foal hanging on you and not having hands, so I made a simple meal. I ended up with a can of green beans and some grapes for myself, and more bottled milk for Starla. I emptied the neighbor’s fridge of meat products into an empty trash bag—we weren’t going to eat them—before heading back out with Starla, this time in the truck. We headed to Wal-Mart after lunch. The sirens went off without a hitch on schedule and my message played loud and clear. It was odd hearing my new voice played over the siren. I thought about what I would tell other people if when I find them; would I let them know I used to be male? The idea made me uncomfortable. Maybe I’ll just tell them my name was Christy or Crystal or something. I decided to put off that thought until the situation arose when I would meet other people. I thought the rest of the day was going to be uneventful, but I was wrong; it got weird fast. In the almost empty Wal-Mart parking lot I found a large circle on the pavement with what I could only describe as runes lining the inside of it. After parking in front of the door to the store—why not? I haven’t seen anyone else!—I got Starla situated on my back and decided to take a look at this weird circle. Up close it didn’t look like paint, but it didn’t look like it was burned into the ground either. I probably should have thought things through before stepping into the circle; it could have been a bad idea. Thankfully nothing happened when I just touched the circle, but when I got to the center, I was assaulted by visions. I saw streets full of ponies. Some had wings instead of horns and were flying through the air. Some ponies had neither a horn or wings and I watched them working farms, playing games with frisbees and footballs, running stores, and even operating a train. I saw a winged pony, a pegasus, walking on a cloud before suddenly jumping on it to make it rain. I saw a school room with a unicorn teaching the three different ponies math. Oh, it was all so much to take in! That image of the unicorn teacher had him with a glowing aura around his horn and a similar aura surrounding a ruler he was using to point at a chalk board. However, things then got creepy as I felt like someone was watching me. I saw more unicorns using telekinesis in various manners, and some of them did more than that with their glowing horns. I saw one turn an apple into a grapefruit, much to their dissatisfaction. Another unicorn wearing doctor’s robes was causing a cut on a pegasus colt’s foreleg, surrounded by the doctor’s aura, to close by itself; it only took a few seconds and the cut disappeared, replaced with a light scab. I even observed two unicorns tossing fire and lightning at each other before stopping their duel and hugging. I saw small towns and large cities, all full of ponies! I saw a city made of crystal; if it had been green I would sworn it was the Emerald City from The Wizard of OZ. The visions kept coming, but also began to fade at this point. After a short time everything faded to mist and I saw a pair of eyes looking at me through the veil of mist. They were colored like white opals with a pink line running through them and filled with sadness. Everything I witnessed before suddenly flew past me until I ended up somewhere that looked like the night sky over pale grey clouds. I saw a dark figure for a few moments before everything vanished. When my vision came back to me I was still standing in the parking lot as rain began to lightly sprinkle on my muzzle and cheeks. I don’t know what happened but it suddenly hit me that I was out of it for who knows how long. I looked behind me and thank the maker Starla was still there and hadn’t run off while I was zonked out. She just looked like I felt: dazed and confused. A quick nuzzle under her chin brought her out of her stupor, making her shake her head to rid her of spinning eyes and she giggled a bit. Once I was sure she was alright I began to leave the circle only to hear a loud crack causing me to to jerk my hoof back from a static like shock. “Great, I stepped on broken glass didn’t I?” I complained as I lifted my hoof to inspect the damage. My hoof was fine, but when I looked at the pavement I found that I hadn’t step on glass but on a white stone about half the size of my hoof with pink and blue highlights, sporting a small crack halfway down the center. The stone looked rather out of place and had this kind of weird beauty, so I grabbed it with my mouth and dropped it into the diaper bag hanging around my neck before I continued to the store. About this time I noticed that my rear was starting to feel itchy. I tried pushing a cart around for awhile, but to do this I had to balance myself on my back legs while using the cart as a brace. It didn’t take long for the pain to be too much and I abandoned using the cart. I made a makeshift collar out of a life preserver and attached bungee cords to pull a pallet jack behind me. If an aisle was too small or crowded for the pallet jack I used the collapsible wagon to retrieve whatever product I had my eyes on. Pulling something around like a beast of burden was degrading, but at least I wasn’t going to snap my back, and it was rather efficient. I ended up grabbing some baby supplies along with dried and canned foodstuffs. I also raided the electronics department, grabbing up whatever electronics I thought would be useful, entertaining, or have trading value should I meet someone else later on. I activated as many Google Play, Apple, Amazon, PSN, Nintendo, and various other point cards I could. I wanted to load up my accounts and start getting movies, music, and games while I still could before power stations started to shut. I finished the looting shopping trip with grabbing a cooler, filling it with ice, vegetables, and fruits. That took me awhile since I had inspected everything as best as I could to avoid rotten or bug infested produce. I was on my way out through the checkout section—just to be thorough—when I spotted something amiss in the book section. The map rack was knocked over and the maps were scattered all about, but nothing else looked disturbed. I don’t think Starla really left my side this entire trip—she had been rather docile since our trip into the circle—so I just shrugged it off, thinking someone must have knocked it over before The Vanishing. By the time I finished loading the truck, the itching sensation on my rear from earlier had progressed to the point where I was going crazy! If I could reach my rear with my mouth I would have tried biting it. As I looked around for something to scratch with, I realized I didn’t finish rinsing myself off during the shower because I stopped it prematurely. The itching was really becoming unbearable, so I headed to the garden section of the store, hooked up a watering hose, and, after propping it on a shelf, rinsed off the soap residue I neglected to fully clean. Jumping jackrabbits was that water cold! I wished I hadn’t interrupted my shower from earlier; it’s a lesson for the future to not skip that step unless I wanted a repeat of The Great Itching Event. Starla of course found the entire thing entertaining. Once home, I decided to nuke a concoction in the microwave for dinner since Starla was practically glued to me. I wished I could ask her what she saw in the circle, since she was obviously affected by it pretty deeply, and was rather clingy since then. The meal wasn't anything fancy; not that I could make anything complicated with hooves or my mouth. It consisted of some carrots, canned corn, and instant mashed potatoes with cheese, while Starla had her usual bottle prepared. Eating on the table was impossible without a high chair for Starla, least she be physically on the table, so we ate on the floor instead. Like a dog! It's embarrassing to say, but bowls for humans aren't meant to be eaten directly out of by a muzzle. I may need to pick up some dog bowls later on if that is how we'll be reduced to eating. I'd rather not if there was another way though. One more thing to worry about for the future. I know it's extremely minor, but I'd rather some form of civilization remain, for eating at the very least. Maybe if the table was closer to the ground? A kotatsu table would be a good compromise to the floor. After I cleaned up dinner the best that I could without hands, it was time to change Starla’s diaper again. Using some velcro I grabbed from the store I was able to fasten her new diaper down easily. I realized that the velcro strips are stuck down once attached so once I’m out of them, there will be no more. I rolled her dirty diaper up almost squishing it down in the process and slid it into a plastic bag like I did at the gas station; these are limited as well. I can’t let them pile up in a bag before I take it out; the smell will kill me. Not to mention there is no more garbage collection service. Oh carp! That will be a problem long term. Fudge! I can't get this image of a dumpster overflowing with dirty diapers and other trash out of my head now. It was getting late around this time, and I decided to put Starla to bed. I laid her down on my bed and covered her with a small orange blanket. She squirmed around for a bit so I propped myself next to her and hummed for her until she fell asleep. Starla really does seems to enjoy hearing my voice. As a newborn, she must be craving any kind of stimulation she can get, and I'm the closest thing she has to a role model right now. I gave her a soft kiss on her forehead, which brought a smile to her sleeping face, before I grabbed (mouthed??) a soda and began working on the computer. I should mention my neighbor's computer was accessible for use, as they didn't have a password on it. So, I moved back and forth their computer and my own, buying a bunch of things with the points cards I obtained earlier as well as queuing as many torrents as possible, making sure to choose those with many seeds. I had gotten some tablets from the same place as the points cards; the idea was to load them up with as many multimedia files (music, videos, movies) as possible and use them for trade, assuming anyone else is out there. I did accidentally cracked the screen on one of the tablets in the process, though thankfully it was only a small crack. During this time I found a program on-line to make text documents from audio files, and I downloaded it just in case I'll have to move journal entries to pen and paper later on. So that pretty much was my second day, with no other survivors found. I still hadn't heard anything from anyone; I’ve received no phones calls, text messages, or emails, and I saw no forum posts online either. Well, that's not entirely true; I did see a few forums that had new posts from spam bots. I guess those are still going even after everyone has vanished. I left a message on several government and emergency services web-sites for the states of Wyoming, Montana, Colorado, and South Dakota. It stated that I lived in Gillette Wyoming and contained my phone number to contact me. I checked the downloads before I turned in to bed and was shocked at how fast everything was downloading. I guess since everyone disappeared internet traffic was almost non-existent. As I laid next to Starla in bed, my thoughts drifted to the visions I saw while standing in the circle, specifically of unicorns levitating things. Many issues I have using things made for humans and not tiny unicorns would be resolved if I could do something like that. I might never need to stick my nose near a dirty diaper ever again! The thought invigorated me and I looked around my room before spotting my PS2 DVD remote on the other side of the room. Then did what every child tries to do at some point in their lives: try to move things with their minds. I stared at the remote trying to ‘will’ it to move for several minutes, even holding my breath in case it might help, yet to my annoyance nothing happened. I tried again, this time pointing a hoof at the remote like a jedi, after another couple moments I even started verbally demanding (but not too loudly) that the remote come to me. It didn’t move a single inch. I glared at the remote before my eyes wandered to the tip of my horn. In the visions, the horns of those unicorns I saw were glowing. Perhaps it’s a focus of some kind, like a wand an antenna? I concentrated on trying to make my horn glow. Just wanting it to glow wasn’t enough though, it just made me go cross eyed. I about to give up but—and this might sound a little weird and creepy—I thought I heard someone say “Feel”. I had a little freakout following that, as I looked all around the room and confirmed that unless Starla was suddenly able to speak, there was no one around to say that what I heard. Or thought I heard. I didn’t hear any more words after that so I just chalk it up to my imagination. Being alone except for Starla is starting to take a toll on me, and it’s barely been two days! Regardless of the source—imagined or not—perhaps the voice had a point. I’ve been trying to cause something to happen instead of seeing if I could sense anything. Well, the only way to really do that would be meditation, to clear my mind and categorize all the sensations I was experiencing. So, meditate I did, closing my eyes and trying to clear my head of thoughts. I was jolted awake some time later by Starla pawing my side. She was whimpering so I thought she might just need a diaper change. While Starla did need one the real reason she awoke turned out to be the noise coming through my window. The siren set to go off every six hours had activated, and the clock confirmed it was indeed midnight. It seems Starla also wanted a snack, as while I was looking outside she decided my teats were once again fair game even though they still gave her nothing. Concerning her diaper, I wanted to try something new: clothespins! Conclusion: They sucked. Starla just knocked them off as soon as I clipped them on. I think the handles were poking into her side and she didn’t like that. Luckily she didn’t take too long to fall back asleep after I finished, and I climbed back onto the bed next to her. Changing Starla’s diaper the hard way again pushed me to give meditation another try, except this time I focused on trying to actually categorize my sensations instead of ‘clearing my mind’ that just had me doze off. Ok. Let’s go down the list then? Sound. It’s extremely quiet compared to what I am normally used to in general, but this is my room, and thus since there is still power I can still hear the sounds of my computer fans and the AC. I could hear the hum of the refrigerator in the kitchen. I could hear the soft sounds of Starla breathing. Besides having directional mics attached to my head in place of ears, all the sounds seem familiar, and nothing new so far. ... Actually if I list every little sensation I had this entry would be much longer, so I’ll skip to the important bits. Nothing really felt different save for everything being slightly muted due to having fur all over my body. I’m not that surprised by that though; I would have had a much more dramatic experience upon waking on the first day if I could feel every single bit of fur on my body. I just wasn’t sure what I was missing. I took a figurative step back and thought about it. Perhaps I wasn't missing something, but was rather overlooking something I had ignored all this time. I did have moments even before I joined the no hands club when I had weird feelings. Being around old places. The feeling I got when I looked into certain points of the sky these last few months. I looked out my window towards the sky remembering the odd feeling I got from it. Ever so slowly I slid off the bed before checking on Starla to make sure I didn’t disturb her, and made my way outside. I sat on some grass and gazed into the sky, trying to find that feeling I had for all these months. It was actually quite easy, it was there in the sky, stronger than I had ever felt it before. But it wasn’t just in the sky; while weaker that ‘feeling’ was all around me, all over me, inside me. It was energy, and it was everywhere. Too late I made the connection to how I sensed this: My horn really was an antenna of sorts! And since I’d dropped the filter, my ‘sense’ was being bombarded with all that energy at once. It was too much, like staring directly into the sun. I toppled over, grasping my head with my hooves, uselessly trying to dull the pain in my everything. I laid there moaning for a good while as the pain slowly subsided enough for me to think straight. Eventually I cracked my eyes open and noticed that things around me were a little brighter. I looked around for the source of this light till my eyes wandered to my horn; it was glowing with a creamy white aura, just like in the visions! Despite the headache beating away at my skull, I smiled at my success. The glow began to fade as I slowly made my way back inside, but I wasn’t worried. I had an idea about what I needed to do now, I just needed to be careful not to overwhelm myself. Once more on my bed I laid there, massaged my head for a awhile, waiting for my migraine to subside. I stuck my tongue out in concentration while focusing on opening myself to the energy again, but much slower this time. Nothing happened at first, but I stuck to trying to go as slow as possible. A few minutes more, then I started to sense that feeling again, and a few sparks began to leap from the tip of my horn. Thankfully they weren’t flammable! After a few sputters my horn began to glow with a creamy white aura and I mentally cheered. Ok, I proved I had access to this energy; it was time to figure out how to actually use it beyond a nifty flashlight on top of my head. The 'energy', for lack of a better term, was a pain to work with. It's actually rather complicated and like trying to manipulate feather floating in the air by flapping your hands at it. Except harder, yet not. Let’s just say I didn't get much sleep that night, as I must have spent a couple of hours trying to bend my mind over how to go from sensing something to actually manipulating it beyond just giving me a headache. In the end though, I think I had success! All I remember is I saw that remote start to vibrate before I passed out from exhaustion.