“For Five Score, Divided by Four
Your memories removed, your body confused
For your insolence you must pay
Cast off to a land far far away
To scatter the six, just the start of my tricks
Your mind shall be weak, your outlooks bleak
Forgetting everything and living like a fool
You have all lost, now no one can stop my rule!”
“Nice poem.” I say when Mira finishes, still shocked by her previous statement, “Now, go back to the ‘irreversible’ part.”
“Well, perhaps I should phrase that better.” Mira looks directly into my eyes. The light blue-green color of her eyes is startling. It almost looks like colored contacts rather than a real eye. “What’s happening to us is the curse being reversed. Iris... You- We... We’re actually ponies. Like, born a pony then killed, cursed, whatever, and reborn as a human.”
“Is this some sort of elaborate prank?” I don’t really know what I’m saying. Words are just tumbling out of my slack-jawed mouth.
“Iris, look at the clues. Remember what I just told you? The Five Score thing? I didn’t just make that up. Someone else did, it just sounds significant and fits in perfectly.”
“Mira, I-I don’t want to be a pony...” My vision is swimming and I’m vaguely aware that I am going lightheaded. Then I can see the floor rushing up to greet me...
I’m barely finished placing the once-again-fainted Iris back onto her couch before I hear a buzzing from the kitchen. Iris’s phone! I rush into the kitchen, after all, it could be important. The caller ID reads ‘Mother’ along with a smiling picture of a beautiful red-haired woman. She looks almost identical to Iris, just a bit wiser looking and older.
I pick up the phone, “Hello?”
“Oh? Who’s this? I’m looking for a girl named Iris.” The caller responds.
“I’m Iris’s friend, Mira. Is there something you want passed on to her?” I answer, fully knowing that even if Iris was awake, her voice would likely sound much different to her mother, even if I perceive it the same.
“Mira? Oh! Iris’s high school friend. Well, I would really like to talk to my daughter...” Iris’s mother says, a longing tone in her voice.
I sigh and make a split second decision, “Hey, look. There’s something you really need to know...”
“Has something happened to my daughter?” Iris’s mother asks. She doesn’t sound panicked though, which surprises me. Instead, she sounds exasperated. Just how much trouble did sweet Iris get herself into when she lived with her mother?
“I appreciate you not panicking, I really do. I just pray you won’t be by the time I’m done.
“Now here’s the thing. You have to believe everything I’m about to tell you. It’s going to sound really strange, like I’m making it all up and that I’m a hobo or something that stole your daughter’s phone, but I swear I’m not!”
“I’m listening...” Iris’s mother responds, and I can imagine the woman on the Caller ID narrowing her eyes.
I take a deep breath, “Okay. You know that television show, My Little Pony, right?”
“Of course, Iris never shuts up about it.” I’m starting to like this person.
“Well, we recently found out that it’s, uh... more than just a TV show. Your daughter and I have found ourselves in quite the predicament. We’re turning into ponies.”
The other end is silent for a bit before responding. “You’re saying that Iris is a horse now?”
“Well, half horse. The transformation’s not finished yet. We have ears and a tail. Our hair color and eye colors have changed...”
“I don’t believe you.” That’s it. That’s just it. A simple ‘I don’t believe you’.
“You have to believe me! Iris is passed out on my couch right now.” I plead. Oh, please God or Celestia or whoever, just please let this woman listen to me!
“Do I need to repeat myself? I. Don’t. Believe. You. There’s no such thing as people turning into horses. And certainly not my daughter.” As weird as it may sound, my respect for this woman is increasing. Her determination and will is amazing. That doesn’t stop my fury from rising though.
“Fine! You stupid woman. Don’t come crying to me when you never see your daughter again. I tried to tell you, but I guess some people just never listen to reason. Enjoy the rest of your life alone!” I slam the phone on the table, hanging up. I know I went way too far. See, Iris’s father is dead and she has no siblings, so it’s just her and her mother. Even her grandparents have passed away.
I can feel a tear rolling down my cheek and my ears droop. Not because I might’ve hurt that person’s feelings. Not because I failed. But because in that half-minute, I reverted back to my old self. The self before Iris showed me a life better than petty bullying.
I reach into my jacket pocket and pull out my own cell. I guess while I’m on a roll with offending people, I can add my own parents to that list.
I can’t call them because my voice has changed so instead I pull up the Text Message software.
After struggling a bit with pushing the buttons, I place the phone down. It’s no use. My fingers are losing dexterity! Maybe I can push the button by stabbing them with my horn. My horn... Oh, duh! I have magic! I focus on pressing down a button and voila! it works. I speed up the process until I have a Text Message sending. Seriously, why does she have such an old phone? It’s the flipping 21st century!
Mother, I just wanted to let you know that I may never see you again. I’m turning into an orange unicorn and as weird as that sounds, it’s the truth. Not that you’ll care.
A few minutes later, there’s a response.
Mira... I don’t have time for your stupid games. Stop disappointing me with child’s play and get your ass out into the world and do some shit.
I sigh, feeling more tears fall. I knew it would be no use texting her, yet for some reason I did it. Why was I gifted with such parents? Why couldn’t they actually care about me instead of wanting me to make them money?
Then, there’s a buzz at the counter.
sunsetshimmer51 told me that we should meet up and Sun seemed happy about it, so guess where I’m headed soon? We did make a slight agreement however. Once we were full hor- I mean, ponies, I would fly on over. Well, I didn’t tell her that I would fly but... Oh, you get the point!
Speaking of flying, the lumps on my back have started to take a bit of a shape, becoming more appendage-like instead of just lumps.
Sun is on my shoulder, seemingly inspecting my growing wings.
My ringtone begins playing, so I pick it up. It’s a number I am not familiar with, but I answer anyway. “Hello?”
It’s a woman, “Hello. I assume you are shadednocturn1995? I’m sunsetshimmer51, but you can call me Mira.”
“You- How did you get my number?” I stammer.
“Wait. You’re a woman!?” She yelps.
“Huh!? Why do you say that?” I bite my lip. Do I sound like a girl? Has my voice changed that much?
“Well I just assumed from your screen name...” Mira falters.
“M-my name’s Ace and you are partially correct. Erm, How do I say this? The transformation? It kinda turned me into a girl.”
“What!? Really? I really dodged a bullet there...” Mira voice is quiet. “I just wanted to test your number. It was on the website.”
“Oh yeah, I forget it asked that. At first I thought you were a crazy stalker!” I laugh.
“Maybe I am. We don’t live too far apart.” Mira teases.
“Wait... We don’t?” I blink, not that she can see that.
“Oh, maybe a hundred miles or so.” She replies.
I check a note previously scribbled down with Mira’s address written and add ‘100 Miles?’ Seems pretty good for me. Still, though... Wouldn’t it hurt to fly that long and far? I guess we’ll find out, “Mira, when do you think this will end? When will we be fully ho- pony?”
I can hear shuffling on the other end, “I think... I think it’s almost over. I don’t know about you, but I look more pony than human at this point.”
“Oh...” I look down at my hands, “Oh! I have fur on my arms!”
“I’ve had that for a while...” Mira’s voice trails off, “Hey, Ace. I’ve been wondering something. How the hell’d you get on ponytheorists4ever.com if you don’t even know what ponies are?”
I chuckle sheepishly, “Yeah, about that. I actually just typed in ‘horses and ponies’ into Google, completely unaware that ‘Ponies’ were actually a thing, and it popped up saying ‘Safe and reliable Pony forum’. It sounded perfect!”
“Quite the coincidence. So, do you know who you are turning into?” Mira asks.
“Hmm, well, uh, no.” I admit, “Honestly, I don’t know much of anything about ponies if you haven’t noticed.”
“Well, what do you look like?” Mira demands.
“I’ve got gray fur, greenish-bluish hair, uh, yellow eyes- Oh, my pupils are slits! I have fangs and the mark on my butt is a yellow circle that I think is supposed to be a moon with a crown on top. And I think I’m growing bat wings.”
“You have... wings.” Mira sounds stunned. Then she clears her throat, “Yeah, well I have magic. Top that, batwoman. Although... I have never heard of a pony that fits that description. Bat ponies?”
“Well?” I say, waiting.
“I told you who I am. Who are you?” I ask, curious.
“I am Sunset Shimmer,” When I don’t respond, she continues, “I have orange fur, red and yellow hair, aquamarine eyes, and a horn.”
“You’re a unicorn!” I exclaim.
“Well, duh. I said I could use magic, didn’t I?”
“Is that a common skill for unicorns?” I’m confused. I didn’t know any of this. Then, I hear the melodic voice of Sun. Sun! “Oh, hey! Mira. My bird is also changing.”
“Your bird?” She sounds like she just got steamrolled.
“Yeah. She was a crow, but now... I don’t know what she is. A phoenix or something. She’s on fire!”
“A phoenix? There could be plenty of options... Is she mischievous?”
“She almost got me into a car crash, tried to burn me a couple of times, and knocked me out, so I’m gonna say yes.” Sun puffs out her chest.
“I think... I think your bird is Philomena. It’s quite an assumption, I know, but it would make more sense than a different random phoenix. Discord would be more likely to attack Philomena if she were to be protecting the princess...”
“Uh, what?” I blink.
“I’m gonna let you go now. Iris might wake up soon and I’m sure you have business to attend to.” Mira seems distant.
“Hey, wait-” Beep.
Damn it. I had more questions though!
I approach the phone on the counter, wiping the tears off my face. What confuses me is who is calling. It’s Iris’s mother again.
“H-hello?” I answer.
“I’m glad it’s you answering. I thought over what you said before,” She speaks slowly.
“What? All I did was yell at you.”
“Your passion in what you said made me see the truth in your words, however bizarre they might’ve been. It took a bit for me to realize, but I understand now. I would like to see her, Iris. I want to know just what has happened to her.”
“As soon as we hit full transformation, someone is meeting us and then... Well, I can’t guarantee we’ll be staying here.” I feel like nails are piercing my skin as I speak.
“I understand. I’ll trust that someday, we will cross paths and then I can give my daughter a farewell. Until then, I will wait in anticipation for further news, whether I receive it or not.” Her words touch my heart. She’s willing to wait forever to see Iris one last time...
“I-I cannot guarantee-”
“Hush now. Our fate is no longer in your hands. You have done your part. For now, farewell.” Beep.
I feel a tear roll down my cheek and I touch it with a finger, paralyzed by the bittersweet words of the adult.
“So. How is she?” I snap my head up, ears pricked at the intruding sound.
“Iris? When did you-” I swivel around and am met with an Iris almost completely covered in blue fur.
“Don’t worry, I wasn’t here long.” Her words are sweet, but they feel distant, as if they go into my ears and get lost in my head. “These ears are very sensitive. I could make out words from here.”
“Synthesis...” I start, deliberately using her pony name, “Do you think we’ll ever get home? To Equestria?”
“Home... to Equestria? Since when did you start referring to Equestria as home?” Iris tilts her head.
“Face it. We came from Equestria. It’s our home.” I answer.
“B-but all of my memories are from Earth. Home is where you grow up, not necessarily where you were born!” Iris almost seems desperate. Desperate to not believe me.
“Synth, we have memories of Equestria, they’re just buried. Trapped in Discord’s curse.”
“Stop it. Stop referring to me as Synthesis. Stop trying to make me-”
“Synthesis, that’s your name. You can’t change that. “I retort, cutting her off, “Listen, if Equestria is real- Hell, if I’m real, then that means something. Something very important.”
“Nuh-uh. I will not play your mind games.” Iris turns her head.
“Synthesis... Equestria Girls is real. The portal to Equestria is still here on Earth somewhere.”
Iris doesn’t respond.
“Oh, come on! Aren’t you at least curious to see Equestria? Even if you didn’t want to live there. Wouldn’t you want to just see it?” I prod.
“On a normal day where I wasn’t turning into a pony, then sure. I’m not feeling all that motivated today.” Iris huffs.
I shake my head, “I’m gonna call you Synthesis from now on. It just fits in my mouth better, so to speak.”
Synthesis grits her teeth, “Fine, Sunset. I hope you’re happy.”
“A couple more questions. First, what time is it? Second, why do I have fur on my neck but you don’t? Instead you have fur on your hands and legs,” I note.
“I- what? Wonderful. We’re gonna be walking on all fours tomorrow, I just know it!” Synthesis picks up her phone, “It’s four in the afternoon.”
“Cool. Tomorrow, we’re having a friend come over and then we’ll talk about finding that portal. I’ve got a pretty good hypothesis already... Just wait!”