//------------------------------//
// I Am the King of Oblivious 
// Story: A Young Knight's Agony 
// by Weavers of Dreams 
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Did I mention I was scared of the dark? Granted, how could you know? We just met after all. Well, now you know. Would you like to know why it's so important?

Because I seem to be trapped in a human-sized box with no seams or exits. Did I also mention I was claustrophobic? Yessiree, it was time to panic. For some reason, my arms felt exceptionally heavy as they banged against the barrier before my face. It was also getting very hot and sweaty in there. Almost as if someone had lit a fire under me. Yeah, I couldn't even call for help it was so humid.

"It actually worked?"

Upon hearing the voice, I ceased my pounding. Was someone here to rescue me? Oh thank goodness.

"Wait, what do you it by, 'it worked'?" another voice inquired, sounding rather irritated. "You said it was going to. Were you just leading us all on with false hope?"

"W-well... er... that is... what's it matter now?" the first voice stuttered quickly, sounding very nervous. "After all, it worked, didn't it?"

"Well, yeah," said the second, "but you make it seem as if you weren't sure it would."

"Well, there was no real guarantee," stated the first. Man, she was bad at this. Yes, she. I'm pretty sure it was a female voice.

"Girl" ---confirmed--- "if I weren't so happy right now, I'd slap you across the room."

"G-get ahold of yourself, after all... I-it worked, didn't it?"

Okay, this was nice and all, but, seriously, I need to get out of this thing, right now. I banged harder, like a panicked animal. Hopefully they would get a clue.

"Uh... Twilight? Do ya think we should let it out?"

Twilight? Why did that sound so familiar. Something-something sparkles. Oh no. I did not get kidnapped by a bunch of gay vampire fanatics, did I? That was the third time this year. I really got to see about moving to another state. This was getting to be too much.

With that thought in mind I mustered all of my strength and threw my knees and fists into the barrier.

CRACK!!!

Unfortunately, those were my bones. Well, humid or not, I finally managed to make some noise. I guess they finally got a clue and pried away the lid to my prison. Light flooded into the would-be tomb and I sat up like a lightning bolt. A lightning bolt? I really need to be more creative. Anyway, I blinked away the fuzzies from my eyes and looked about.

Technicolor horses. A lot of them. Female. How do I know they were female? Because I watched the bloody show. Duh. This was not happening. Nope. Nuh-uh. I was not a Brony. I just watched the show every now and again. Thus why it took me so long to connect the dots with Twilight.

So I had been kidnapped by a bunch of costumed freaks this time. Why does this keep happening? At least it's better than that time I was kidnapped by that band of furries. I will not describe what transpired. I'll leave that to whatever little imagination television has left you with.

What was I supposed to do now? They appeared to be waiting for something. My vision was still a little blurry, so I couldn't quite make out their expressions. But, the room had gone eerily quiet.

"Eeeee, no. Do-over, do-over. Put it back. Try again."

I was suddenly assaulted by a small beast wielding a frying pan. Screaming at the top of her lungs. Was this some bizarre demonic sacrificial ritual? Eh. I'll give it a four. It was nowhere near as creative as when that clown cult tried to beat me with helium balloons. Still never found out what they were smoking.

Anyway. For some reason, the frying pan wasn't doing that much damage to me. Which I didn't complain about as I wrestled it from the monster's grasp as some unseen force yanked her away from me. I did my best to stand up. Wow. I was so freakin' heavy. What was going on.

"That's quite enough, young lady," I warned her, waggling the pan in her general direction. Oh, that's why I feel so heavy. I'm apparently covered head-to-toe in medieval plate armor. Also explains the vision, stupid grimy helmet. Now, that just leaves the question of what I was doing before these equine-obsessed basement dwellers kidnapped me.

Oh, that's right. The local renaissance fair. Great, I've probably missed the reenactment of Agincourt. Damn these ponies. This had better be worth it. King Henry needed me.

Funny. I remember this armor being made of foam and laminated paper. There is no way I could have afforded this without blowing through my motorcycle fund. The stupid latch on the side of the helmet was giving me a lot of trouble.

That and it was uncomfortably hot in the general vicinity. The reason why was quickly apparent. Beneath the stone prison I had been encased in was a pool of lava. Holy crap! What were they trying to do? Baste me in my own sweat? With an incredibly undignified and girly scream, I leapt for my life across the chasm towards the ledge.

I fell short. To say the least. Armor dragged me down quite a bit. Thankfully, someone caught my hand.

"Urgh, so heavy," the raspy female voice complained aloud. "Can't I just let him burn to death?"

"Rainbow Dash. He may be one of them, but that's no reason to kill him."

"Sure it is, Twilight. Save us the trouble of doing it later anyway."

"We are not going to kill him. He's our only hope."

"So you say, Purple Smart. Well, he'd better deliver."

I felt more people reach out to pull me up over the ledge and to the safety of solid ground. Relatively so, as I was not so deaf as to miss hearing them talk about killing me. Still, best be polite to my rescuers.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou," I cried, literally, as I hugged my rescuer's neck. Wow, that was some really realistic fur she had for her costume. Would they go so far as to use horse fur for a pony costume? Why not? They could afford the lava pool.

She tensed as I blubbered incoherently into her fur. This lasted a for a while until she reached out and hugged me back. Must of done something right.

"There-there, kid," she sighed regretfully. "I'm sorry I considered killing you."

Blunt apology. I was so not going to piss this one off.

"Ah, see there, Dash?" one of the others cooed, "I knew that you had strong maternal instincts."

"Sh-shut up," the one personifying Dash snapped back. She patted my back gently. "I didn't get a good look before. How was I supposed to know he was just a kid."

Hey. I was nineteen. Hardly a kid.

"Well, just be sure Scootaloo doesn't get too jealous," the other snickered. Rainbow Dash just snort in irritation.

"It's just until he calms down," the colorful one muttered, patting my back again. Good grief, now it was beginning to feel awkward.

With one last shudder, I pushed myself away and did my best to scowl and look serious. "Alright, enough of this. What's going on? Why was I suspended over a pit of lava? I could have died. Check that, would have died."

An orange one, Applejack I shall assume, pointed back towards the pool. "Ya'll could 'ave just used the bridge."

I looked back at the pit. Sure enough, there was a bridge stretching towards the center of the pit wear the stone box lay. It was wide enough to let a car pass over it and it even had railing set up. Heck, there was even a safety harness dangling just a few feet from the box, along with a pair a ponies standing by to assist me into it. One of them was holding the little beast whom I assumed had attacked me. Wow, they were really safety conscious here. Other than the frying pan.

Well, there goes my ego.

"Well, you could have pointed that out sooner," I groused.

"Sorry, just a little in shock at what we managed to summon," one dressed as Twilight grinned nervously. I blinked.

Damn. Those were great costumes. Complete with automated facial expressions and dilating pupils. Must have cost a fortune. Not to mention the mouths moved in time with how they were speaking. It must have cost a fortune. Though, it must be uncomfortable being down on all fours like they all were.

Okay, this moment of sudden realization is taking too long. Yadda-yadda-yadda I dropped like a rock because I couldn't handle the fact that they were really real.

okay... NNNEEEXXXT TIME ON A YOUNG KNIGHTS AGONY:

It's already uploaded, go read it and find out for yourself.