//------------------------------// // Chapter 3: In Which A Draconequus Becomes Enraged // Story: (Not My) Home Sweet Home // by naturalbornderpy //------------------------------// When Discord’s and Twilight’s drink orders came, Discord snapped himself a swirly straw to slurp up his dark beer greedily. By the time Twilight took a lone dainty sip from her apple cider, Discord was already moving his straw around the bottom of his glass in search of what liquids remained.                  Discord set his straw back into a makeshift breast pocket. “Not bad, not great. I’ll need another dozen or so of those if I want to get really crazy tonight. How’s the cider?”                  “A little strong,” Twilight said, taking another small sip from her glass.                  “Exactly what I wanted to hear! A few more mouthfuls of that and I just might be able to ask you a question that’s been bugging me for some time.”                  “A question about us?”                  “No.”                  “A question about me?”                  Discord leaned back in his seat with a sigh. “That university called again; while you were in the shower the other day. They’re still trying to offer you that teaching position. They seem almost desperate to get you on board.”                  Twilight gently spun her glass with her hooves. “Teaching humans about Equestrian history.”                  Discord nodded. “And I’m sure other things, too… and I’m sure some ponies would attend. Plus, it would mean some extra—”                  “Income,” Twilight finished for him.                  “Yes. And the chance to get out and meet people—humans or ponies or whatever. Hasn’t it always been a dream of yours to teach, Twilight?”                  Twilight thought about it for a moment. “Yes. But I’d always imagined teaching others about friendship or magic or something close to that. Not the general history of Equestria to a bunch of humans that may or may not even believe it exists at all.”                  Discord chuckled. “My dear, we’re living proof Equestria exists.”                  “Not exactly. Some people still think we arrived when some comet crashed into the planet. Even more believe the government had been working on a ‘Pony Project’ that was accidentally released into the world, therefore giving them the need to make up Equestria and all the things that go along with it.”                  “Well, just passing on information. I’m sure whatever course you’d like to teach, they’d be more than happy to oblige you.” He slid out from the table. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to visit the little draconequus’ room. Maybe if I’m lucky, our food will have arrived by the time I get back.”                  Twilight stopped him with a hoof, looking bewildered. “I can’t remember a time in our entire relationship when you had to use the washroom. I didn’t even think draconequuses had to, honestly.”                  With a smirk, he explained, “First time for everything, right? But, realistically, I only tend to go once a year if I drink a lot of liquids. That beer must’ve shot right through me. Back in a flash!”                  Twilight watched Discord disappear around a corner, elongating his body and curving it into an arch to avoid a rushing server carrying a loaded tray of plates. Once alone, Twilight finished off the first third of her cider and sunk into the comfy booth behind her. At once, she could tell the alcohol was doing its job; she hadn’t thought she’d felt this calm in months.                  “This isn’t so bad. I don’t think,” she said to herself, watching the restaurant’s buspony take another tray through the kitchen’s swinging doors. Since she’d arrived on Earth, she’d locked herself away, ignoring the present and focusing on the past. If thoughts of her lost loved ones caused her nothing but pain, why had she surrounded herself with nothing else but that? Everyone that had escaped from their alternate Equestria had lost more than anyone should, but still they’d soldiered on, getting themselves jobs and trying their best to assimilate into an unknown world. If they had the strength to move on, why couldn’t she find that same courage? At first, the answer seemed simple: humans. Humans would never take to ponies. But was that even true anymore? How would she even know, having spent every hour of every day for the past year shut up in her home, brooding and isolated from the world? So far tonight, she hadn’t met a single human that told her she didn’t belong there. Sure, it would take years before the stares stopped or even noticeably lessened, but as an alicorn in Equestria, hadn’t she gotten used to constant attention anyways?                  Maybe it’s you¸ she thought. Maybe you don’t want to get used to this world—maybe you don’t want to start a life here. Maybe the only place you could ever call home is gone and there’s very little chance of going back and it hurts so bad, you only want to—                  A glass smashed to the floor behind her.                  Turning to look, she found a man in his late thirties standing in the middle of the aisle, squarely in the thick of several tables of ponies. For a moment, the man stared at the broken glass by his feet, before glancing back up, almost appearing surprised.                  “Got your attention?” he asked the hushed cluster of tables, before clapping his hands together. “Good! Because I’m feeling the need to let you all in on a little something—a little something that I doubt many of you have heard all that much since you first arrived in my city. Well, here it is. A message just for you.” He pointed a finger to each table of ponies in turn. “You are not welcome here. You will never be welcome here. Earth is not your home and it shouldn’t be. Humans have enough problems dealing with other humans as is, so all you guys are doing… is just fucking it up even worse.”                  He grabbed a pony’s drink off the table behind him and used his shirt to wipe around the rim. “You think you’re cute? Adorable, even? You might have most people wrapped around your little hooves or whatever, but don’t think for a second you’ve fooled everyone. All you guys are doing is making life harder for us. A pony friendly menu? A pony friendly restaurant and bar? It isn’t us who should have to change for you. It’s you who should be changing for us. Or better yet, go somewhere the fuck else!”                  He brought the glass to his lips, then pretended to gag, setting it back on the table and making the ponies there flinch. “Can’t believe I almost drank that—right after a pony slobbered all over it.”                  “I did not slobber on—” started the stallion, whose glass he took.                  “And don’t forget how weird you all look,” the man continued, unperturbed. “Wings? Horn? What the fuck? Are you guys Mr. Potato Heads? Pick and choose whatever extra body part you want? Especially you!”                  Twilight felt her face turn red when he pointed at her directly.                  “Wings and a horn? What a fancy bitch you must be!”   ***   “How’s your night going?” Discord asked the man using the urinal next to him.                  “Uh… uh, it’s fine, I guess,” the man whispered back, his hair damp with sweat and his breath ragged.                  “Aren’t you done yet? I heard you stop the moment I stood next to you.”                  The man gulped dryly, creating an odd clicking noise in his throat. “I… uh… can’t go when I’m nervous.”                  “Nervous?” Discord giggled playfully. “Nervous of me? Do I really look that scary to you?”                  “Uh…umm… well,” the man stuttered out, wholly frozen in place.                  “I said do I really look that scary to you!?” Discord screamed at him, adding another foot to his height while turning both of his eye-sockets into black pits of flames.                   The man shrieked and turned away from him, remaining where he stood. A second later Discord could hear the man continuing his business with the urinal.                  Discord zipped up. “See? All you needed was a little motivation. See you out there, sport!”                  The man flinched when the washroom door slammed shut.                  “I think I need new pants.”   ***   It didn’t take long for Discord to tell that something bad had happened while he’d been gone. It wasn’t only in the expressions of the patrons in the room that let him know: the hushed whispers between humans at nearby tables; the mare currently comforting her friend with a leg around her shoulder; the stallion and mare couple who were anxiously paying their bill without more than a word between them. He could also feel it in the air—like some silent electricity that had hummed throughout the place when they’d arrived, only to be shut down with the mere flick of a switch.                  Discord slid back into his booth and noticed Twilight had pushed her drink away. “What happened here?”                  Twilight’s eyes had a faint shimmer to them. “Nothing. It’s fine. Really.” She tried for a smile, only for it to collapse on itself.                  Discord roughly grabbed at one of her legs and held it. “Tell me what happened here, Twilight.”                  “Some drunk man made a scene and then left. That’s basically it.”                  Discord frowned. “If that was basically it, Twilight, then I doubt you’d be as close to tears as you are right now.”                  Forgoing the wider smile, Twilight settled on a smaller, tighter one. “It’s not important. I don’t want it to ruin anything. I’m having a good time here and I think our food should be coming out soon. I’d… I’d just rather not talk about it. Okay?”                  Less than a second later, their waitress from before strolled down the aisle of tables and set their meals down. As pleased as Discord was that the chefs had actually followed through on his pie on top of steak, it did little to sooth his currently unfavorable mood.                  Once her hands were empty, their waitress knelt down beside Twilight. “I’m so sorry you had to hear that. That idiot doesn’t know what he’s talking about and don’t you think any different. If you two still have room for dessert, I’ll put it on the house for you; same as the other tables that heard any of that nasty business.”                  Twilight awkwardly chewed on her tongue as Discord spun his head to the waitress, teeth shut tight in a rather unfriendly smile.                  “Nasty business, you say?” he hissed out between his teeth. “I must have missed it while I was away. Care to explain what happened here, exactly?”                  The waitress waved a hand and rolled her eyes. “Some liquored up jerk stumbled into the dining room from the bar and started ranting and raving about ponies and humans. The manager’s just waiting for him or his friend to pay their tab and then he says he’ll be banned. Good riddance. Again, sorry you had to hear all that. Always know we’d love to have you both back.”                  A small nod and wink later, the waitress left the pair alone.                  While Discord tried to keep his regularly expressive face under some level of control, inside his mouth he bit through his tongue and then quickly sewed it back on. “Are you okay?”                  Twilight ran a leg under her eyes. “I am. It’s okay. Can’t expect everyone to love ponies in a little over a year. Plus… he was drunk… he wasn’t thinking…”                  “That’s still no excuse,” Discord told her thickly. “I can fix this, Twilight. I can fix this very fast. Do you want me to?”                  “I’d rather you just made me feel better. Tell me a joke?”                  Eyes still a little glossy, Twilight grabbed her fork in her aura and started on her salad, trying her best to move the night along. Taking a long breath, Discord attempted to do the same, first cutting his steak and pie with a spoon before eating it with the saltshaker.                  He raised a curious brow. “Tell me if you’ve heard this goody before, Twilight. A man walks into a bar to get a drink, but when he leaves…”                  Well, he thought, she never said ‘no’ exactly.                  Discord silently snapped his fingers below the table.   ***   Arthur collapsed back onto his barstool, an ear-splitting grin dividing his face. Although it had taken close to seven minutes once he’d entered the restaurant to flag down a waiter to buy another drink, the wide-eyed and cartoonish expressions of all those ponies that heard him made the trip more than worth it.                  Until someone pinched his shoulder and spun him around.                  “You really are an ass, aren’t you?” Robert told him sternly, his other hand busy counting out bills onto the counter. “Couldn’t have kept your comments to yourself for one night?”                  Arthur wasn’t about to lose his good feelings after only having them for a moment. “What’s your problem? So I spoke my mind. What ever happened to freedom of speech?”                  While Robert awkwardly crammed his wallet back into his pants, he took a series of large gulps from his tall and colorful drink, umbrellas and mounds of whipped cream threatening to stab or stain his face. “I just spent sixteen-fifty on this drink, Arthur—which is pretty fucking good, by the way—and now I’m being told I need to get you outta here and into a taxi for causing a scene, meaning I can’t even sit here and enjoy this thing! You know this drink somehow changes color the more you drink from it?”                  Arthur grabbed a few peanuts from the bowl. “Don’t listen to them. They gave you a warning, same as me. I’ll be good from here on out, I promise. I said what I wanted to say and now I’ll leave it at that.” He snickered. “I think during my little speech, I even managed to piss off one of those deluxe ponies you don’t see all that often. You know, the ones with wings and horns?”                  Finding no one in their vicinity attempting to throw them out, Robert slowly sank back into his seat and scooted his garish drink next to him. “You mean wings and a horn?”                  “Sure.”                  “Alicorns.”                  “That’s right!” Arthur chewed on a handful of peanuts pleasantly. “One of those weirdoes. How common are they? I can’t remember. One out of a hundred? Something like that.”                  “There’s only one left, actually. Twilight Sparkle. She was mentioned in that book a lot.”                  Arthur tried his best to keep his vision on his friend and the bar behind him, so that Star Burst and his tiny flock of thirsty customers remained well out of sight. “Wow. So didn’t I luck out or what? Met and annoyed my first celebrity all in one night. Does this deserve another drink? I think it does.”                  Robert stopped sipping from his glass as his brows creased in thought. It seemed he didn’t like what was slowly coming to mind.                  He asked Arthur in a hushed tone, “Was Twilight with anyone else?”                  Some of Arthur’s original giddiness seeped from him. “I… I don’t think so. I can’t remember, really. I was kinda looking everywhere while I spoke.”                  Robert wrapped Arthur’s collar into his fist. “Was she sitting next to Discord? That’s all I really need to know.”                  “Another pony?”                  “No. A draconequus. Twilight Sparkle came to Earth with a draconequus and now I need to know if you just made a very bad mistake and pissed him off.”                  “I… .” The clear agitation in his friend’s face allowed Arthur to think clearly for a moment. He tried hard to think back—to the tables that overheard him and all the heads that turned his way… including that tiny purple alicorn’s. “No. She was alone. I’m pretty sure she was.”                  Sluggishly, his friend let go of his shirt and gripped his drink again, evidently not as enthused about it as he was a moment ago. “I hope to God you know what you’re talking about, Arthur. Otherwise I’d be running outta the nearest exit as fast as I could.”                  Arthur shrugged. “Why?”                  Robert looked like he was chewing on something sour. “Because Discord’s fucking insane and if—” his sentence died in his throat, as it looked as though he wanted to somehow both choke and vomit at the same time. He exclaimed in something even lower than a whisper, “You fucking idiot! I hope you know how much I hate you right now!”                  “Wait. What?”                  Arthur followed his friend’s stare towards the entrance to the bar, where a seven foot tall snake-like monstrosity had just arrived. If Arthur could’ve recalled some of his childhood books loaded with colorful pictures of animals, he might’ve had a chance at describing all the parts that formed the creature. But considering his childhood had died a slow and miserable death centuries ago, Arthur instead clammed up and pretended to stare at the dartboard next to him.                  The creature his friend had called Discord narrowed his eyes in the gloom of the bar. He crossed his mismatched arms behind his back and casually moved towards them.                  Arthur found the strength to spin his stool around so he could glance at his friend, who was now hugging his oversized drink to his chest like a life preserver.                  “Evening, gents,” Discord greeted them dryly, placing one hand on the back of each of their seats. “Having a swell time tonight, I hope?”                  Robert made that choking sound again, before muttering out, “… yep.”                  Arthur nodded and turned to face the overhead TV. Taking a quiet breath, he found himself not as afraid as his friend thought he should be. What’s a Discord, even? he thought rather evenly. He wouldn’t do anything here, would he? He’s sort of famous, so he can’t. He’d get in shit and get in the papers. But if he wants a fight, I’d still give him one. He might be tall as all hell, but that doesn’t make him strong. Right? I think so. I hope so. And who’s to say he’s not just getting a drink? Supporting another one of his pony pals? Who’s to say he even heard what I said?                  “Has someone been saying nasty things about ponies in here?” Discord softly oozed out, his warm breath heavy on the back of Arthur’s neck.                  Arthur found his mouth dry as he tried to reevaluate his situation.                  I would’ve seen him in the restaurant. A seven foot tall dragon stands out a bit. Maybe he doesn’t know? Maybe he’s just asking around?                  Keeping his hand as still as he could, Arthur took another peanut from the bowl and popped it into his mouth. “Not sure who said that, but I don’t think it wasn’t anyone in here.” Not once did he turn his face from the TV screen. “But I heard some loud ass leave the bar a few minutes ago. Maybe find him and ask.”                  Arthur felt another warm batch of breath on his neck, hotter than the first.                  “You sure this is the way you’d like to proceed?”                  Arthur choked on a peanut stuck in his throat, before roughly spitting it out onto the bar. “I’m only here to watch the game, pal.”                  “All right,” Discord cooed happily, before giggling. “I’ll leave you to it, then.”                  Arthur felt the hand on his seat let go and watched Discord stroll towards the other end of the bar. Using his mismatching arms, Discord parted the gaggle of mostly human girls encircling Star Burst to take a seat right in front of him, his long lizard tail curled tight around a neighboring barstool.                  Robert didn’t turn to him when he announced, “We’re leaving. Now.”                  Arthur ate another peanut, finding his throat not so dry anymore. “But he didn’t even do anything. Why was I supposed to be afraid of him again?”                  “Not explaining. I’m leaving and getting a cab. Wanna split it or do you want to end up as a living, breathing mound of pudding when he eventually figures out it was you?”                  “He turns things into pudding? Is that what he does to people?”                  Arthur could tell his friend had reached his limit for most everything that night, jokes especially.                  Arthur hooked a thumb behind him. “Three quick shots. A washroom break. Then we’ll get the hell out of here.”   ***   The moment Star Burst set Discord’s latest beer on the bar, he snatched it up with a claw and tilted the glass on its side to pour it up his nose. Then he sneezed, spraying bits of foam all around the place.                  Discord belched. “Sorry about that.”                  “Totally fine, sir! Drink however you’d like.” Star Burst took the order of another customer—another girl between twenty-one and thirty—and slid their colorful concoction up to them. After paying and leaving a rather generous tip, the girl spun on her heels and flipped out her phone to snap a picture of her with Star Burst in the background. Star Burst, as bubbly as could be, leapt up into the air to be visible in the shot.                  “You’re the best, Star Burst!” the girl exclaimed, before running off to join her table of similar acting friends.                  Discord noted the blush on Star Burst’s cheeks. “You seem like quite the popular bartender here,” he began.                  Currently cleaning a glass, Star Burst flashed him a smile. “Why thank you, sir!”                  “For a changeling,” he finished.                  The glass hovering in Star Burst’s aura dropped to the floor and shattered into pieces. The blush on his cheeks darkened to crimson. “Changeling? Don’t know if I follow you, sir. I’ve been a unicorn since the day I was born. Happy to be one, too!”                  “Oh? Oh, really?” Discord brought his fingers before his eyes to stare at tiredly. “So if I, say, were to snap my fingers and reveal all the changelings in the room, you wouldn’t have a problem with that?”                  Star Burst’s mouth twitched. “Or… or you could not do that.”                  “But I kinda want to, though.”                  The moment Discord brought his fingers into a snapping position, an aura wrapped around them, forcing them apart. Hurriedly, his hand was slapped onto the top of the bar where Star Burst began pinning them down with his hooves.                  “Dude!” Star Burst shouted, before lowering his voice. “Dude, just don’t. All right? You got me, okay? You win! Just… just don’t make a big deal out of it.”                  Effortlessly, Discord flicked away Star Burst’s hard hooves. “Fine. I really didn’t come here to ruin a pony’s evening, anyways. So, then, why aren’t you with the rest of your colony? Since Chrysalis is gone, I understand they’ve been looking for a new leader.”                  Star Burst rested his forelegs on the bar, careful to keep his voice out of earshot. “They are. And I hear it’s going terribly so far. When we were all transported here, everyone voted to move to Florida because it was hot. But by the time we all left, I… just didn’t want to follow along anymore.”                  “And why’s that?”                  “Because I made some friends—Star Burst made some friends.” The unicorn lined himself up a shot and downed it, offering an identical one to Discord. With a shrug, Discord drank it, too. Star Burst shook out his body before continuing, “That first month here, everything was weird and scary, and food was hard to come by. So I made up a new persona based off a unicorn I saw walking down the street. Eventually, I named him Star Burst.”                  Discord pinched the bridge of his nose. “You based it off the candy, didn’t you?”                  Star Burst nodded. “Then there was this flyer for a house with three other stallions, looking for a fourth to help pay rent, so I went to them and that’s where I live now. They’re really nice guys, dude. Once a week, we have game night. And pizza night. And sometimes, dude, they invite mares over and—”                  “You say ‘dude’ an awful lot.”                  “My roommates say it all the time, so I guess it’s rubbed off on me.” He gasped, realizing his terrible position all over again. “Please don’t ruin this for me, huh? I really like the guys and I consider them my friends. Next month we’re planning on putting our money together and getting a PS4. I don’t know what that is, exactly, but they all seem really excited about it, so—”                  “I already said I didn’t come here to ruin somepony’s night.” Discord eyed his empty glass. “As long as you keep filling this up without adding it to my tab.”                  Nodding energetically, Star Burst went about filling his order.                  Discord said to him, “So then explain this job to me. You actually like tending a bar into the wee hours of the morning; inebriated nitwits screaming at you for another glass of slow-acting poison?”                  Star Burst’s eyes almost twinkled as he spoke. “I love it. I love it because they love me. It didn’t start like that in the beginning, but, now, I have a whole group of customers—mainly female customers—that come back to see me again and again when they know I’ll be here. And most human girls just love cute ponies that give them booze.” He looked on the verge of salivating. “Girl’s night here, it’s like a whole buffet of love. I’m almost worried I’m going to get fat someday because of it. Either that or one of my roommates will start wondering why I never eat anything with much substance.”                  Discord pulled on his beard. “You’ve really got it made, don’t you?”                  Star Burst glanced down with a shy grin. “I kind of do, don’t I?”                  “Shame if I snapped my fingers and ruined that all for you.”                  “Dude! I already said I’d give you all the drinks you wanted!”                  “But now I want something else, dude. Now I want to know if there was a human in here tonight with a particularly bad case of pony distaste.” Discord raised his head and sniffed at the air. “I can smell it, yes. I can tell they haven’t gone far, but now I just need to know who.”                  Star Burst exhaled a sigh of relief. “Oh. Is that all you want?” He angled his head to the side. “It was that guy over there. Messy hair, unshaven face. His friend told him to stay in the bar, but he did it anyways.”                  Discord smirked. “You must hear an awful lot of gossip around here.”                  “Indeed I do.”                  “You want to know which one of your roommates is actually a changeling, too? Or which one has a secret crush on you?”                  Star Burst’s mouth popped open. “Dude?”                  “I’m only kidding. Or maybe I’m not. Either way…” Discord leaned in closer. “Should you happen to hear of something odd occurring in the next couple of minutes, it would be in your best interests if you tried to pretend it didn’t happen, all right? You never saw me. You never saw those two gentlemen by the end of the bar. Got it?”                  Star Burst nodded timidly. “Got it.”                  “By the way, you mentioned a ‘game night,’ earlier. Could my misses and I attend sometime?”                  “Who’s your misses?”                  “One Princess Twilight Sparkle.”                  Star Burst grimaced. “The last time I saw her, she kicked my ass and shot me far into the distance using the power of love.”                  “Well, then, consider it close to the same. Now she’ll just kick your ass at Monopoly, instead.”                  “We don’t play Monopoly. I heard it ruins friendships.”                  Discord raised his hand again, fingers poised to snap.                  “Or…” Star Burst quickly clarified, “we do play Monopoly.”                  Discord gave him a smirk. “That’s a good pony. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some rather important business to attend to.”                  That was when Discord snapped himself from the room, making most heads turn in his direction. Gathering up his rag to wipe at the bar, something finally occurred to Star Burst.                  “I didn’t even exchange information with that dude.”   ***   Arthur forwent the urinal for one of the stalls for fear of stumbling and somehow soiling himself. He undid his pants and sat down with a moan, running a hand down his sweaty and creased forehead. As he unloaded the contents of his bladder, he found the vivid image of the creature named Discord waiting for him every time he closed his eyes.                  Might be time to find a new bar, he thought solemnly, if that dragon-thing plans to keep eating here. What did Discord end up doing in that book? Anything? I think I skipped most of his parts. I know he snapped his fingers and that was when shit happened, but…                  Then a more pressing concern came to light.                  Wonder if Robert will want to get takeout before we get a cab. I know at least three places around here that won’t break the bank.                  The sound of a thin tree branch cleanly snapping in two echoed off the washroom’s walls, causing Arthur to look up.                  Not hearing anything more, he ran another hand down his face—although this time it wasn’t as soothing as it should have been. That was weird. Also, the toilet seat he was on somehow felt much larger than before; the lock on the door to the stall a good twelve inches higher than it should’ve been.                  Disregarding these minor discrepancies, Arthur stood and didn’t bother to flush, reaching up and sliding the lock across the door with as much grace as a gorilla using a closed fist. The whole night’s worth of drinks must’ve finally caught up with him, because Arthur’s pants fell effortlessly to the floor and stayed behind, his newly exposed butt and legs not nearly as naked or unusual as it should’ve felt.                  Or as cold with the restaurant’s chilly air conditioning system.                  “What the fuck?”                  The lock on the stall had been weird enough. Now Arthur found himself looking up at a washroom sink, unable to even glimpse himself in the mirror.                  “What is this?” he mumbled out sleepily. “A sink for basketball players? Oh, that makes sense.”                  Arthur had spotted the last sink in the room—the one with the small set of stairs leading up to it with a pony decal on the side. First using his front pair of hooves, he awkwardly grabbed at the top step before swinging the rest of his small frame to stand before the mirror. As his bushy tail brushed against his exposed stomach, he surprised himself with a giggle.                  “Since when did you get in here?” he asked the pony in the mirror—a stallion with a caramel-colored coat and straw-colored mane. “Hey, buddy, why don’t you get out of my face before I…”                  It was odd how well the stallion’s mouth matched his own—even the way his eyes blinked at the exact same time. The pony’s mouth even dropped and hung limp the moment Arthur’s did.                  “Pony…” Arthur croaked, a sickness forming in his stomach that hadn’t been there a moment ago. “No… no, that isn’t right. That can’t—”                  “What have I become… my sweetest friend…?”                  Arthur spun around on the set of stairs, tripping over his own legs and crashing down to the linoleum floor. He rubbed at his pained side—his side now covered in soft fur—and looked up to find a black speaker system fixed into every corner of the room. Arthur didn’t think those had been there when he’d first entered.                  “Everyone I know goes away in the end…                  “And you could have it all… my empire of dirt…”                  Johnny Cash. ‘Hurt.’ Arthur had heard the song enough to know it well, although never before had he heard a version where Johnny Cash’s voice had been replaced by Discord’s.                  “I will let you down… I will make you hurt…                  “I will make you hurt…                  “I will make you hurt…”                  The last line repeated for some time.