Matter Was I, If It Would
by Present Perfect
"No?" Twilight rubbed the back of her neck. "I mean, it's hard to say for sure, but I guess it wouldn't matter..."
"So be it."
Twilight gasped, shielding her eyes from the intense otherworldly glow that suddenly suffused the room. When Pinkie spoke, it was in a voice that was a thousand voices, all speaking in perfect harmony from every facet of creation.
"Now you see me as I truly am, Twilight Sparkle."
Twilight lowered her hoof. The light was still powerful, but if anything truly overwhelmed her, it was Pinkie's presence. She radiated an aura of power, of mystery and wonder, of fathomless, timeless grandeur. She was no longer pony-shaped, instead bearing an elongated form and large, multi-faceted eyes. In place of her poofy mane was a tapering point that curled to one side, ending in a teardrop. She had fingers. Twilight wished Lyra Heartstrings was here.
"Why now, Pinkie?" Twilight felt as though she had to shout to be heard over the sheer fact of Pinkie's existence.
"The time was right," Pinkie said, with a serenity that outshone even Celestia's. "You're a Princess now. Fluttershy's a changeling. Rainbow Dash is griffonkin, Applejack and Rarity have been having a tumultuous relationship under our noses, and Spike is the new Rainbow Dash. Everypony is changing, Twilight: changing into what they've always been."
Closing her eyes, Twilight took in a deep breath. "So what are you?"
"I am all that is, all that was, and all that will be."
"Is that why--"
"Also I'm Celestia's mother. And yours, Twilight."
Twilight's face fell. "What?"
"And last Thursday, when I said I ate all the corn cakes, I was really holding onto three so I could eat them later. I'm sorry, Twilight."
Twilight's frown deepened. "What does that have to do with being the all-powerful progenitor of everything?"
There was a serene, thousand-voiced snort. "Pfft! N-nothing. Nothing at all!"
"Pinkieeeee." The sound of Twilight's hoof impacting her forehead resounded around the room. She dragged herself over to the nearest wall socket and pulled the plug. The light died immediately, replaced by Pinkie's rapid-fire giggle-snorts.
"No, wait, wait! I -- hee-hee-hee! -- I have to unveil the mysteries of the universe to you still! Bahahahaha!" Pinkie, very much not-glowing and still pink, lay on her back, kicking her hooves in the air.
"How did you even do that?" Twilight's voice took on that high-pitched screech it tended to when she was this close to reaching the breaking point.
"It's amazing the things you can accomplish with candles, a mirror and silly string!" Pinkie shoved both hooves in her own mouth, trying to calm down. "And that wasn't even my final form!"
"Ugh," Twilight ughed. "Ugh. I am never going to understand you, Pinkie Pie."
"Don't worry," said Pinkie, patting Twilight on the head. "It's just part and parcel of being one with the unknowable cosmos!"