//------------------------------//
// Rule 92 
// Story: Chronicles of an Evil Overlord 
// by Melancholy 
//------------------------------//

Domination of Equestria - T-246 days.

“Mr President? You have a call sir.”
“Humm? I’m in the middle of reviewing arms designs. Tell them to wait and call back.”
“Ah, um...It’s Princess Twilight Sparkle sir.”
“Oh is it now? Ok, I’ll take it in here.
Princess, how may I be of service to the Crown?”

“You can tell me what you’re up to.”
“Humm? Well Princess, we’re quite a diverse company here, we create electronics for the emerging markets and we have a large distribution arm-”

“Don’t play coy with me. Did you think the Crown wouldn’t notice you gathering artefacts from across Equestria? Tomes written by Discord before his first entombment, body parts of Changeling Queens and countless others. Nothing your company does relates to any of those fields.”
“Of course they don’t Princess, they’re just for my own personal amusement. It may be our logistics division making many of those discoveries but I assure you I pay for them from my own private funds. No embezzlement here or misuse of corporate assets.”

“That’s not the issue here. Do you think some petty fraud would merit me calling you like this? Those artefacts are a threat to Equestrian security. You’re very close to committing treason here Mr President.”
“Treason!? Oh my, I had no idea. Princess, please. You have my personal assurance that I will destroy all of these risky items immediately! I never knew I was undertaking such risk. I thought them mere curios.”

“No, destruction won’t be necessary. Send them all to my castle here in Ponyville.”
“Of course Princess, I will have them made secure and then shipped to you directly with all great haste.”

“Good. I’m glad we’ve come to an understanding. We’ve avoided something quite calamitous here. I’m surprised, you’re being very reasonable.”
“Of course Princess, it’s my honour and a pleasure to serve the Crown. If that’s all, then I’ll bid you a good day.”

Bitch.

“Miss Dictation?”
“Yes Sir?”
“Get me the Logistics department on the phone, the Special Acquisitions and Development Branch.”
“Yes Sir, connecting you now.”

“How may we do your bidding, Master?”
“Princess Twilight is onto us. Prepare a shipping manifest containing all the Level Black items and have the Container Ship Placebo loaded with the dummy crates. Mark them for Ponyville and ship them by the Southern Swirl.”
“Is the ship to be lost at sea Master?”
“With all hooves, and all cargo. Make sure it happens in the deepest trench you can find, I don’t want investigations turning up the fakes in the wreck.”
“Your word is my command, My Master.”

Overlord Rule No:92 If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)