For the second night in a row, Nikolai found himself coming home late in the night. He was worn out, as the lack of sleep and stress of the mission had finally gotten to him. His bloody suit was nothing like it had been for the meeting that morning. Rarity would be disappointed when she found out what happened to it. However, now was not the time to worry about incurring someone's wrath. He silently closed the door behind him and removed both his M16 and Reznov's blood-stained machete, setting them in the corner. He stared at the blade for what seemed like hours, but in reality it was just a few seconds. Now, Nikolai had murdered human beings before; every one of his previous eight wives met a gruesome end, and the ninth one would have likely met the same fate if he had never been caught by the Nazis, but Nikolai had never really cared for them, it was all for political power. Who gives a fuck who you step on to reach the top?
Not even Dimitri's death really got to Nikolai. Sure, he was a brave man, but he was just a soldier. Soldiers die, right? He put down a suffering man. That wasn't murder, that was mercy. And Polonsky was a zombie when Nikolai found him, and while it was sad, he didn't consider it murder either. Polonsky had already died, leaving only behind a primal corpse. But Reznov was different. He had turned on him so quickly, so relentlessly, just to kill him. He remembered the fear in Reznov's eyes, and how it shifted to defiance at the last moment. It was the first time he felt remorse for killing a human being.
"You look awful."
Nikolai jolted from his thoughts and saw Berry come in from the kitchen. She held an unopened bottle in her mouth, and her hair was bedraggled. She seemed to be as troubled as he was.
"Yeah," Nikolai yawned, taking a seat on the couch. "Things were. . . Bad."
Berry took a seat next to him and set the bottle in front of her. "Do you want to talk about it?"
If it had been anyone else, even someone he trusted like Dempsey or Twilight, Nikolai would have declined. But this was Berry, perhaps the only being that he felt completely comfortable telling his inner feelings to.
"Well," he began, pausing momentarily after the word. "The city doesn't look any better empty than it did full of zombies. We met up with Luna shortly after entering the city. By the look on her face, Nikolai could tell that little had changed. We searched around for any evidence that might explain why this happened, but we came up empty. Then. . ."
"Then what?"
Nikolai couldn't talk for a few moments. He just couldn't get the words out. "We found Polonsky. The poor bastard was crushed under a bookshelf and eaten alive. He was one of them, and I put him out of his misery."
Berry was shocked. For the brief time that she knew Polonsky, he had proven to be a capable fighter and a caring ally. Not even he could escape the clutches of the undead. It was terrifying and disappointing at the same time.
"For what it's worth, he went down fighting."
Nikolai shuddered after speaking those words as a connection formed in his mind. He saw a zombified Polonsky, and that means he saw a zombified Dempsey, since they had almost the exact same features. He thought back to the note, and even though Richtofen told him that Dempsey didn't care, he still couldn't help but worry about the American super-soldier.
Berry noticed Nikolai's reaction. "Are you OK, Nik?" She wrapped a concerned hoof around his arm, and stared into his eyes. Hers were filled with concern for her friend, and he stared back.
Nikolai didn't really know, but he tried to smile. "I think so. I've seen stuff like this before, I think I'll get over it."
Regardless, Berry's grip grew tighter, but it never grew too tight. "If you want to stop talking about it, I'll-"
"No," Nikolai interrupted. "You need to hear the rest, it's very important."
Berry nodded and let go, but she never took her eyes off Nikolai. "Very well."
"So, after Polonsky, we found Reznov alive."
Berry smiled. "Oh, that's great!"
Nikolai's gloomy face revealed that there was no joy to share. Instantly, Berry's smile faded.
"You don't mean. . . Oh, shit."
"He got bitten. Not only that, but he lied to us about it. I mean, I don't blame him, but we still had to put him down."
He gestured to his bloody suit. "That's where this blood is from."
Berry was a mare with a strong stomach. She was never as grossed out by stories as softer mares like Rarity and Fluttershy, and she could probably fit well in Applejack's camp, but she reeled back when she pictured Reznov dead on the street, the blood pouring from his body as his machete was stuck in his skull.
"Oh, Celestia, you killed him?"
Nikolai's tone turned harsh. "Yes, Berry! I killed him! Happy, now?"
Berry winced at Nikolai's sudden shout, and he instantly regretted it.
And yet she was the one that said "I'm sorry."
"No, I'm sorry. I'm just worried, worried and tired."
He sat for about another minute before he spoke again. "We did find one thing, though."
"What?"
"A sack of 115 meteorites, courtesy of Edward Richtofen."
"Your doctor friend?"
"Friend may not be the right word, but yeah. He tried to make another teleporter malfunction to get here. Somehow, the rocks got here, but I'm not sure if they're here."
He then turned to her and stared straight at her, not even blinking. "Berry, can I tell you something?"
She didn't even hesitate. "Of course."
She swore she saw tears in his eyes. Nikolai would later say that she was just imagining it, but she swore she saw them clear as day. "I feel like this whole thing was my fault. If I was never sent here, all those ponies would still be alive. What have I done for the greater good? Nothing, that's what."
Berry grabbed onto Nikolai again. "Don't say that! It's not your fault that all this happened, it's Richtofen's!"
"But he did it to find me. I was his goal!"
"But you couldn't help it!" She yelled back, then buried herself in Nikolai's chest. Her voice came out muffled, but Nikolai heard it clear as a bell.
"I am not going to allow a good man like you to blame yourself for what you couldn't help. You're a hero, Nikolai Belinksi. Never forget that."
Instantly, he felt better. Her words had calmed him down, and when she finally removed her head from his chest, she had the happiest smile that Nikolai had ever seen. And for the first time that night, he smiled a genuine smile.
"Thanks, Berry. You're a good friend."
He stood up and yawned, stretching his body and scratching his ass in typical Nikolai fashion. "Nikolai is very tired. Good night, Berry."
"Night."
But as Berry saw Nikolai begin to ascend the stairs, she realized that there was still one thing she wanted to say.
"Nikolai, wait!" She called out, causing the drunk Russian to stop.
"What is it?" He asked.
She wanted to confess her feelings for him. She wanted so very badly to just jump up, run up the stairs, and kiss him, not caring about their differences as species. She tried so hard to say it, but something was stoping her from uttering the words. She couldn't spit them out, so she just gazed at him for a long time, trying as hard as she could to reveal her secret, but the nervousness was too strong.
"I. . . I'm sorry about all you had to go through today."
Nikolai smiled. "Don't worry about it. It's not your fault. Good night!"
"Night," Berry could only mumble.
She didn't even touch the bottle. She was far too disappointed in herself to even move. All she could manage to do was mentally kick herself for being so stupid.