The next morning I woke up wondering what in Equestria I had just done.
I turned over in my bed, my mane falling on my face. Breathe Twilight, breathe!
Okay, I needed to think. No gut reactions, just cold logic. It was list time!
I quickly levitated over a little notepad and a quill. "Right, pros and cons time."
Pro: I have a date. A FIRST DATE.
Okay, I'll admit the little school filly inside me wanted to bounce around the room at that, but I sent her to the corner. I needed to be rational about this... Though I suppose that I was having trouble being rational while this elated was definitely a pro.
Con: Applejack is not entirely mentally healthy
I'll admit, I wasn't sure how mentally healthy I was so it was hard to hold against her, but AJ's neuroses were pretty severe... On the other hoof she was confronting them which was one of the most healthy things she could do and it's not like she was non-functional or violent or anything.
I left it in the con list, but put a question mark next to it.
Pro: In the moment my subconscious totally wanted her.
I hadn't even had to make a list when I was first asked. I was definitely attracted to her, which was odd because it had taken me a while to realize it and I'd only ever been attracted to stallions before.
I blanched. Oh Celestia... was I just attracted to her because I thought of her as a stallion now? I imagined a male version of Applejack asking me out and found to my relief I didn't want him, I wanted her... Though I would be lying if I said the imaginary male version of her wasn't attractive. I imagined myself sandwiched between a male and female version of her to see which one I'd pick physically, but the thought experiment rapidly became both not safe for polite discussion and unhelpful in the selection process.
Moving aside from my recently discovered filthy bisexual mind I went back to the list.
Con: Dating Applejack could ruin our friendship.
I know I wasn't an expert on love, but it was practically a cliche that exes didn't get along. If we decided that we weren't right for each other would the breakup destroy the amazing thing we had already? Would Equestria be eaten by giant worm monsters if we broke up and the rainbow connection stopped working?
That was a pretty chilling thought. But on the other hoof...
Pro: She could end up being your supportive life long special somepony. We would be embraced by our friends and help each other through life's hardships for the rest of our days. Our relationship could even give us access to love magic if we ever needed to save Equestria and I could finally try out some of those cool physical things they talk about in the romance section of-
I stopped writing. Okay, yes, again I was infatuated with her, and sexually attracted to her, but those were not good things to base a relationship on... were they?
I felt a headache coming on. This theoretically positive development was getting really stressful. Usually in situations like this I'd go talk to Applejack to get some simple grounded advice, but obviously I couldn't do that...
Only then did I remember that Applejack was still a guest in my house and I should really check on her.
I forced myself out of bed. Part of me wanted to spend a lot of time getting ready so I'd look my best for her, but I knew that wasn't sustainable in the long run. I trotted down the stairs in my pajamas and looked in on the library.
To my surprise, Applejack was gone.
#
I knocked on the boutique's door so hard I thought it was going to splinter. Our resident fashionista appeared in mane curlers and a bathrobe with startlingly heavy bags under her eyes. "Applejack dear, it's 7:30 in the morning, whatever it is, is there any chance we could-?"
"Ah asked out Twilight!" I cried.
Her eyes went wide. "I'll make some tea."
She left the door open and I followed inside. The boutique looked slightly less kempt in the dim sunlight of early morning before she'd set everything out, but I hardly paid attention. I sat down at Rarity's little marble topped kitchen table and watched the mare put a kettle on.
As soon as that thing started heating she tackled me in an embrace. "It'll all be okay Applejack," She said, squeezing me tight enough my lungs were taking issue, "I'm proud of you for putting yourself out there. Heartbreak is a terrible thing, but it passes. And I know..."
I blinked into her fluffy robe. "Uh... Rarity? Twilight said yes."
She dropped me instantly, "WHAT!?!"
I hit the floor pretty hard, but that didn't bother me so much. My ears were another matter. "Consarnit Rarity, do you have to wake the whole town?!"
She wasn't even listening. She'd started pacing back and forth, tapping her feet nervously on the hard tile floor. "This doesn't make any sense! There's been absolutely no romantic tension building up to this! Since when does Twilight even like mares?" Somehow she blanched whiter. "Oh Celestia... Did you tell her? Does she see you as a stallion now?"
I choked. "What? No!"
At least I hoped... Oh horse apples what if she did? What if she was straight as an arrow and everything she felt for me was just some subconscious need for me to be something I wasn't? I felt a nasty pain twisting in my gut.
Rarity stopped, noticing my distress. "Oh dear..." She put a hoof on my shoulder. "I am so sorry Applejack, I really didn't..." She let out a sigh and shook her head. "I'm not sure if there's an apology that's adequate."
She looked down. I'd seen Rarity sad lots of times. Usually it had some fire behind it though, like she was putting on a play and wanted the whole world to see...
This was different. This was cold sad. I didn't see it often, but we'd known each other for a long, long time...
I picked her chin up. "Rarity, y'all listen alright? I know you didn't mean nothing by putting that thought in my head. I ain't made of glass. Besides, y'all are my best, oldest friend and I ain't gonna let no little slip up ruin that."
She hugged me. Less dramatically this time, but more honestly. "Thank you Applejack... I just... After last week when you came in with that book I just felt like a lot of terrible things had come back. I hadn't even thought about those bits of our... your past for years."
I chuckled. "You can say 'our' sugar cube. I think it's safe to say you were there for a lot of it. Took more than a few licks yerself too."
She smiled, grimly. "I suppose so."
We just sort of sat there for a minute. The sun was rising higher in the distance and some proper light was trickling in through the windows.
"Rarity?" I said finally.
She looked up from my shoulder. "Yes Applejack?"
"Why did it take us so long to realize we were friends?"
She chuckled. "I think we both needed to grow a little less shallow."
Before I could object to the "both" part of that statement the tea kettle whistled. Rarity went over to take it off the heat and I snatched a pair of mugs from the cupboard.
"So..." Rarity began, "Does Twilight know?"
I sighed, accepting a mug of trottingham breakfast gratefully. "She does. She figured it out right after our last talk. She's kind of been helping me through a lot of stuff. Heck, even Spike knows now."
She raised an eyebrow. "Spike? He's certainly a noble, precious soul, but I admit I'm surprised he's the... Good heavens, the third of our friends group to know?"
I nodded. Land's sake... I'd really told two more people. It felt... good, actually. Not like a deep down revelation or anything, but I guess now if push came to shove I would be able to talk to more than just Rarity about all this nonsense.
She sat down on the other side of the table with a little smirk, blowing the steam from her mug. "I have to admit, it's rather impressive to see you coming out of that shell of yours." She took a sip of her tea. "But that begs the question: Why are you here? Shouldn't you be either at home planning or exchanging fleeting glances with your paramor?" She got an evil twinkle in her eye. "You didn't ask for a formal date, did you?"
"NO!" I said with just as much force as where this was going deserved. I kept telling Rarity that the "muscle bound ingenue" look was never going to bucking work, but she still kept tryin' to put me in pink.
She held up her hooves apologetically. "Alright, alright... So why then?"
I let out a breath. There was a little shake in my hoof. "It's just... Am I doing the right thing? Twilight and I have built something up, but what if this is me reaching out for a relationship to deal with my issues? I know that's not healthy. What if she feels pressured into all of this because of how sad I've been lately?" I bit my lip. "And what if I'm just... You know physically I'm-"
There was a burst of purple light as Twilight appeared on the table with more than a few loose hairs in her mane and a notebook full of scribbles in her magic. "Rarity! I need your help! Applejack asked me out on a date and I said yes and I really like her and I wanna go, but-"
She turned her head around, spotting me... I... I don't think I'd ever seen a shade that red before. And I harvested red delicious with Big Macintosh.
Rarity, for her part, just calmly sipped her tea with little more than a wince. "Good morning Twilight. Why don't you take a seat? We have much to discuss..."