Ow.
Ow, ow, fucking ow.
Aparently even in death, you felt pain. Well, wherever 'death' is. I seem to be in a small room.
Is this Hell? A small room? It'd work for a guy with claustrophobia, but not me.
I looked around the room from my vantage point lying down on the floor and quickly noticed a series of buttons beside a large sliding metal door. Oh, it's an elevator.
Quickly standing up, and feeling a distinct lack of crap in my boxers, I surveyed the room from my new vantage point.
Damn, I thought those were mirrors, but they are actually windows to... Something.
Peering outside, I noticed that everything was black, save for a few... Really large stars. I stared around in wonder at the giant orange, yellow, and white fireballs (Though I didn't stare too long. I didn't seem to need to wear glasses here to see and I'd like it to last.)
After looking at the stars for a couple minutes, I decided that I'd like to know where this elevator was going. Mostly because my brain decided that it would think up a couple scenarios. Like, the elevator could be going to an alien spaceship! I looked down at the buttons beside the door, but they weren't any help. There was only one button on it that was labeled 'Lounge.' Below was some black almost liquid looking square that took up an area of the wall a little bit larger than my hand. Kinda looked like you could classify it as that weird liquid stuff in The Room 2 that's in the shape of a circle, and has the sliders around it that make the stuff move and make shapes when you slide them.
A person who isn't a nerd like me would probably just call it "Dark Matter."
With my search to find out where I'm going not looking promising, I did the only thing I could do at the time -- Try to see what's above me through the window. I did exactly that, by pressing my cheeks against the window, and HOLY SHIT THE ELEVATOR IS MOVING TOWARDS A GODDAMNED STAR!
I looked outside in a panicked attempt at escaping. There was no luck. All I could see was stars and darkness. Though darkness was preferred over hot searing death, and I know what the 'death' part feels like now.
I decided to punch the window. The first hit left a large crack, and the second opened up a larger crack with a small hole in it.
It started whistling.
Oxygen was leaking out through the hole that was burst in the window, "Shit, shit, shit!" I screamed, trying to quickly think of a way to plug the hole.
I looked down at my pinkie finger, I've had worse ideas, I thought. Then I proceeded to shove it in the hole. Many things were made known during this instance.
Number one, Space is FUCKING COLD!
Number two, There was still a squealing noise, though it was much quieter.
Number three, Fuck! My finger is frost bitten already.
Number four, I made a comment back there that could be considered dirty if read in the wrong context.
...
I pulled my finger out, (Oh look, another one.) because the pain had quickly became unbearable, and the tip had already begun to turn black. The whistling picked up again, and I knew I had to think quickly, or die quickly.
I tore off one of my socks and jammed it in the hole, and waited, no, listened.
There was no more whistling noise, though I was starting to feel a bit light headed. I'll just lay down on the floor here...
AN UNDETERMINED AMOUNT OF TIME LATER
The sock had been forcefully ejected from the window about a minute ago. The air pressure inside was just too much higher than the pressure outside, and my breathing was beginning to become strained. I lay on the floor, wondering what would happen if you died in death, or if you just sat in between dead and almost suffocated. I think I feel like how Deadpool felt when he was in the torture room.
I resigned to my fate. I would be in eternal pain, that is what hell is, after all. I knew there was no way for me to be able to get out of the elevator.
But then it suddenly it stopped, launching me about a foot off the ground only to land painfully with my elbow digging in to my back.
The elevator dinged, and the door opened with a loud hiss of equalizing pressure. Suddenly I was able to breath again, and that I did. Inhaling rapidly, I could feel my senses return to me almost immediately, along with a pain in my side where my arm had dug into my shoulder.
A loud, "Holy shit!" was heard from inside of the room, and a scampering of feet running over to where I was revealed a cloaked figure. It grabbed my legs and dragged me, being too weak from oxygen deprivation to drag myself, into the room and shut the door; cutting off the renewed oxygen leak.
My brain was finally oxygenated enough to replicate thought. A process which my deoxygenated mind seemed to forget how to do. The first thing I realized was, Holy shit this guy just saved me. But then I realized that I was able to talk.
"shtansh." ... Nevermind. What I meant to say was 'Thanks for saving my life.' but with the condition in which that one word came out my mouth, I just gave up on the rest.
The hooded guy seemed to understand what I had meant to say, and replied with, "Yeah, no problem. Any longer in there and you would have been stuck In-Between." The guy then went and sat back at his desk and resumed doing what he was doing before my grand entrance. Hah, when you're too busy to help a guy that just about died... Again.
Once I felt that I was capable of movement, I propped my back up against the wall, and stared around the room. It was simple, really. It looked like a small office. The walls were made of painted drywall, with a few pictures of people, probably family. Except on one wall there was an 'Employee of the Month' plaque, in which there was a picture of a skeleton. Holding a number card. It's jaw slightly open as if it were smiling. The fuck? Eh, probably just a joke thing.
The rest of the room held the same office...ness. A table sat in one corner of the room, in which the cloaky dude was sitting at with his back turned to me and reading some files. On the desk was a computer monitor, keyboard, and mouse. A small lamp was perched a little ways away from the monitor. Oh, and a coffee was sitting beside the lamp. Or I'm guessing it's a coffee, I can't really see from down here.
Behind the desk was a filing cabinet - which the dude just placed another folder into - that looked like it was made of tin. There was also a weird green gem in the center of each drawer.
I decided to make my presence known.
"So... What was that?" The hooded man did not turn when he gave me the reply.
"That, my friend, is the elevator from the Out-Between." First In-Between, and now Out-Between? What do those even mean? These names sound stupid as Hell... His voice also seemed a little ominous.
"What is the Out-Between, and i remember you said some thing about being stuck In-Between...?"
The figure stood up, "Ah, attention to details, I see. Well, in order for you to know that, you'll need a backstory." He (It sounded like a he) turned around and took his hood off, revealing a very bony face like the one on the 'Employee of the Month' plaque.
"HOLY SHIT YOU'RE UGLY." Wait, shit. Way to go, brain. Antagonize a demon.
I'm fucked. I backed my ass up into the corner of the wall I was leaning against.
The demon looked at me and looked hurt, "Aww, but I just got my face buffed last night. I'm sure it can't be that bad."
"Shoot, sorry, I didn't expect to see a demon!" Voice crack levels have been maximized. This is scary as fuck.
I don't wanna die again.
"Demon? Oh, you hurt me. I can't look as bad as one of those guys, can I?"
"Wait, you aren't a demon?" The demonnot demon shook his head, "Then what are you?"
"I am death. You are dead. I decide whether you go Up or Down, and so far with your comments I'm leaning a bit Down." Death spoke.
"So... I'm dead then?"
"Yes., but back to the story. As I've already told you, I decide whether you go Up or Down. Or in your terms, Heaven or Hell. Now, where we are at is called In-Between, because we are in between the living and the spirits, which is kind of self explanatory. Out-Between, where you just came from, is the land of the living. You are neither between worlds, or inside of the spirit realm, and therefor you are Out-Between. That elevator you rode on took you to my Death Lounge. Got it so far?"
I looked at the floor, then back at Death,"I... Think I do."
Death grabbed a sheet of paper off of the desk, then began talking again, "Each star is it's own Death Lounge, though some Deaths name theirs' differently."
"So you're really not the only death then? I thought there was only one?"
Death looked down at the papers he clutched, and continued, "Ha, about three or more million people die every minute. That's on just your world alone. Do you seriously think one death can handle that? Even with our powers, we can't bend time like that. That's also why we have the elevators. We figured out how to 'vacuum' souls into an area, which are then automatically sorted to each death." Oh, so that's why they have the elevator, but I'm still curious.
"So... What happened to the 'Stairway to Heaven?' Or was there never such a thing?" I quickly asked, a little bit confused.
He took a pen out of his cloak and wrote something on the paper, crumpled it up, and chucked it behind him. It then disappeared in a flash. What the hell? First he says he has powers, now flash burning papers for no reason? So many questions...
"We used to have the stairway, but then the cocky ones figured out they could go back down. Really inefficient if you ask me. Though we mustn't get off track any more. You died, I have to file your paperwork and send you Up or Down." Death walked back to his desk as I stood up, realizing I was still hiding in the corner of the room.
Death opened his filing cabinet and drew out a blank piece of paper, "What's your name, lad?"
Walking over to the desk, I answered, "My name is Sylvester. Sylvester Burn. Though most people end up calling me Silver."
"I will need to take your fingerprint and a small DNA sample to authenticate you. After that I'll read through your files and decide whether or not you go Up," Death opened one of the desk drawers and grabbed an ink pad out of the desk... After reaching his arms in about two feet. What the fuck. He placed it on top the desk, "Rub your index finger on the pad then roll the finger across the paper."
I did as he asked, my finger gaining a dark black ink stain. He took the paper and put it in the very top drawer of the filing cabinet. The gem flipped, and revealed a gem behind it that was colored red.
"You may sit in the chair by the corner over there," Death pointed to a corner where, indeed, a new chair has appeared, "This shouldn't take too long." I obeyed, and sat in the chair. Though, with nothing else to do I just watched death.
Which was boring.
Until the gem on the filing cabinet clicked and flipped again. I expected to see green, but with whatever weird 'power' these guys have, instead of being green, it was blue.
Death turned around, hearing the click, and opened the drawer. The gem flipped again, this time to green. Must be some sort of notification system. Green for read, blue for unread, and red for sending. Though it still confused me how after flipping one hundred and eighty degrees three times got the gem back to green. Wouldn't there be only two sides to that gem?
I have concluded that this 'realm' is messed up.
The cloaked skeleton removed a paper from the drawer and began to read it.
"Huh, I've never had this happen before. I mean, I've heard some of my colleagues talking about this, but I'd never thought it would happen to me." He stated, after wiping some nonexistent sweat from his also nonexistent eyebrows. Force of habit.
"Err... What exactly happened?" I asked as I stood up from my chair.
"Well, you know how you think you are a human?"
"Uhm. I kinda know I'm a human, actually. Sapient, posable thumbs, two arms and two legs. How can I not be a human?" I redact my current statement of 'This realm is messed up.' and replace it with, 'This realm is fucked all the way up to shit creek.' I sat down in the other chair that was in front of his desk so we could talk face to... Face.
"Well, you weren't originally supposed to be human, but you got misplaced at birth. As it seems, it happened when the new sorting tech had just been put in. It was on a field test, and it malfunctioned, sending around one hundred or so random souls to randomized dimensions. We couldn't find them and get them back though, because the machine didn't store where and who was sent, it just did what it was programmed to do." He stopped for a moment and let it all sink in.
"So I'm just a lie then? A fake human?"
"No, you are a real human - On the outside. On the inside, you are a pony. You should have been born to a pony called Twilight Velvet, but as it seems, that was unable to happen."
"So... Let me get this straight. I was meant to be born as a mindless, miniature horse, but instead I got lucky and became a human. What happens next?" This is getting confusing at an alarming rate.
"Well, first of all, I didn't mean the mindless ponies of your world, I meant a completely different world where they have become sentient and have built homes and operate their daily lives much like humans do." Death looked down at his paper, then back up at me, "As for what happens next - Since in the other world, you probably wouldn't have died due to some long and really boring explanation about everything being different in multiple dimensions, we now get to send you there in the form of a local."
"Can I hear this explanation of why?"
Death looked me right in the eyes and stated, "You really don't want to hear the explanation."
I probably looked bewildered, "So now I have to go to a world I don't know at all, in a different body? Fun."
"Do not worry about that. I will help you as much as I can, and if you work hard enough for it, you should learn the basic ins and outs within a few months."
I was quiet at that. I mean, how do you respond to someone saying that you are going to be in a new world?
Death then reached under his desk and pulled a book out. It was labeled, Being a Death for Dummies. He opened it to about three pages in, and began reading. He then slapped his finger down on a part of the page and slid it to the right. He began to mutter, "page one-seventy-three." over and over again, while simultaneously flipping through the book. Once he got to the page he was looking for he began to read.
"In the case of a misplaced (Note: Not to be confused with the more common term, Displaced) being, allow them a chance to choose anything they want, whether it be something they've owned before or not, but limited to only a single item. Once the being has chosen, send them to their new dimension. Be sure to provide a small home for the being to live in, and, if the dimension uses currency, provide enough currency to last one month."
He paused and looked up at me, "You got all that?"
I leaned back a little and nodded, "Yeah, I think I do... So I basically get to take one thing with me, and it can be anything I want?"
"Yes, but please don't go overboard. It also says I can revoke your item at any point in time."
I leaned the chair back some more, "Alright. Let me think." I zoned out on the roof and ignored Death. I am pretty sure he said a couple more things after I began ignoring him, but I was concentrating. I also just realized that Death shouldn't be able to talk as a skeleton.
I could just ask for something that could change into anything I want it to... But I feel like I would get a little power hungry and have it taken away. Maybe I could ask for like a tool kit and a computer or something. The tool kit for being practical when I'm found in a situation that I may need help in, but not like screw drivers and stuff, I mean axes and etc. And the computer, or a laptop since it would be more mobile, would be for writing thimgs down and playing games, if Death would preinstall them. But er, nevermind, I can only take one item. Could I combine a tool kit and a computer? Maybe make the computer actually just build the stuff I wanted? That would be cool. Oh, I could even add that octuple core processor that I heard about on Facebook! Maybe even get more than a few Gigs of RAM, and a 64-bit computer!
"I got it!"
Death jumped, he had half fallen asleep while waiting for my internal rant to finish.
"Alright, what is it you want?" Death asked, visibly calming down from his minor shock.
"I would like a laptop that has all the newest stuff in it, like an octuple core processor, and like, 20 Gigabytes of RAM. I guess, if you could, you could make the RAM and the hard drive infinite? Also, because I don't know what I'll be walking in to and what I'll need, can you give it the ability to factorize items? Kind of like Factorio or something... Or, actually... hmm..." I paused for a moment, Is there such thing as being too big of a nerd? Will I really need my computer to do all this stuff? Ah what the hell, there's no harm in asking, and I dont know what I'd choose otherwise, "...Ehh, actually yeah. Maybe make it indestructible too, because I feel like I would drop it, repeatedly."
I believe that's everything. I'm almost 99.9% sure that nobody will need a computer that can do this much, but eh. I wonder how much power it'd use though... Speaking of... "Also can I get some sort of natural charger? Since where I'm going may not even have electricity."
Death nodded throughout my minirant, but had some problems with it, "Nobody can make anything infinite. To go on forever would mean to keep on creating forever, and no amount of Gods, Deaths, Demigods, and mortal powers combined could supply enough power to keep something infinite. However, I can use a size reduction spell to make a very large chip the size of a bug. I could increase the storage capacity to be about three-hundred times more than what it would normally be. But other than that, it is a fine request. Consider your 'wish,' granted." For whatever reason, Death said the last part in a Scottish accent.
"Sweet, thanks. What do I do now?" I asked, hopine to get out of this boring room.
Death pointed his finger to the elevator, "The repaired elevator should arrive at any--" a loud Ding interrupted him, as the light above the elevator door turned green, "--The repaired elevator is now here. When you go inside, a button will form from the Dark Matter beneath the button panel. Push your hand into it, and the elevator will automatically go to where it is needed to go. I will find a way to communicate with you down there, now go, you've already taken too long. I may have another client coming at any time."
I stood up from my chair, and walked over to the elevator. The doors slid open slowly, this time without hissing. I turned to death and waved a goodbye, stepping into the elevator with the doors closing behind me.
I looked at the black panel that I remembered that it looked like that weird 'The Room' stuff. I waited.
And waited.
And waited. Until finally, the black goop stuff began to flow out of the panel, still remaining in it's square shape. I pushed my hand into it as Death told me to, and the stuff engulfed it completely. Suddenly there was a painfully sharp stabbing sensation all over my hand, and I jerked it back quickly. The Dark Matter oozed back into the wall and I noticed that my hand was bleeding from about forty or fifty different pricks. None of them were deep, luckily, but it hurt like a mother fuUUUUUUUU--
AAAAAAAAAH! THE ELEVATOR IS FALLING! I DON'T WANT TO DIE AGAIN!
WAIT, SHIT! HE SAID 'DOWN' WAS HELL!
I DON'T WANT TO GO TO HELL!
I panicked and began pressing the lounge button on the panel, while my feet slowly lifted off the ground. It was of no use. I kept pressing it harder and harder, but everything was slowly getting darker and darker, until everything just went completely black, and completely quiet.
oOo The most innovative chapter break in the world oOo
The cool, evening winds slowly rolled over Equis, acting as the small planet's coolant system after a hot day of the sun baking the lands. It slowly rode over hills and mountainsides, brushing grass and weeds effortlessly out of the way as it smoothly drifted into a light forest, the trees swaying in rythm with the wind's music. The wind then saw a light gray Pegasus, sleeping the day away, and decided that, no, he must awaken. So it brushed itself against the pony's ear, making it twitch, then come to life, along with the rest of the pony's body.
"Augh." I whined out to nobody in particular, "Who the fuck thought it was a good idea to push me off a bridge?"
Everything was still blurry, evident by the fact that my forearms were looking like a fuzzy little twig. Oh, and the trees behind them that were still blurry. Trying to shake off my growing headache, I noticed two black bags, lain neatly on their si- scratch that, the two bags were attached to each other at the top, making it look like it could be some sort of belt-bag, except that it didn't go all the way around.
I reached out and grabbed it with my hands- Alright. I understand that my sight is blurry, but even my hands feel like they are blurred. -and pulled it towards me. It was then that I actually realized that, Holy hell, there's two sides, so there must be two laptops! I smiled delightfully and ripped open both zippers. I was heavily disappointed. I only got one. The other side was the solar charger. Though I guess I should have seen this coming, as I had been the one to ask for it.
Then was the moment I remembered something. Something so very important, that it may change my life as I know it... "I DIDN'T TELL HIM WHAT OPERATING SYSTEM TO PUT IN IT! NOOOOOO!" Several birds flew away after my dying screech. One could only hope that death put in a good operating system at this moment, as I all but mashed the power button inwards, regretting my decision before remembering that I had wished this laptop to be indestructible and going back to staring at the screen.
The laptop booted, and then the windows 10 logo appeared, "YESSS, I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO TRY WINDOWS 10!" Yeah, it's true, laugh it up. I haven't gotten to try the newest windows edition yet. But now I have it! And I shall not be disturbed.
About a half an hour later, while messing around with some programs that were pre-installed, I noticed Cyberlink YouCam 6. The best (in my opinion) random video generator. You could literally animate your face into random things, like statues of famous people. Or even a bear. So I double clicked the icon, wanting to have more fun. But then the camera came on.
Hmm. I've never seen this 'morph' in YouCam before. This one even has a body, and a background! It's eyes were a bright blue, and huge too. It looked like a horse, but there was one significant difference. The wings on it's back. Huh. a Pegasus; those are some cool mythological beasts, but it just looks so cool and realistic though. You can actually see each piece of it's light gray fur, waving in the wind. I feel like if I looked at my own chest, I'd see... Light gray... Fur..
Oh yeah. That would probably be me.
This is very unsettling. Why do I have wings?