Klik-klik-klik.
“Would you look at that? Looks like it’s odds again, Sparkle.” Quill scooped up the three die on the table and dropped them back into his wooden cup. “So, what were ya’ sayin happened after you got past that effeminate sea serpent in the Everfree Forest?”
Ignoring the rattling of the dice, Twilight shoved a few bits over to her opponent before she began retelling her tale where she left it off. “After Steven Magnet, his name by the way, let us pass over the river, the girls and I made our way towards the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters. It seemed like everything was going fine until we reached a chasm.”
“I see. Odds or even, Sparkle?”
“Even. Rainbow flew over to the other side, where Nightmare Moon had disguised herself as evil versions of the Wonderbolts.” The dice were flung out of the cup and clattered along Celestia’s study table. A one, five, and a two were displayed facing up. Flashing Quill a smug smile, Twilight pulled her winnings towards her pile, which was noticeably smaller than his. “The Nightmare assumed that Rainbow would betray us for a spot on the Wonderbolts. Thing is, she’s too loyal to go behind a pony’s back, even for her dreams.”
“An admirable quality I’m sure, Sparkle. Something has caught my attention the way you’ve been tellin’ this particular tale.” Flicking a golden bit towards the table’s center, he gave the cup to Twilight who restarted the game. “Every time Nightmare Moon tried to stop you, your friends were the ones who were able to overcome these challenges.”
A small chip of wood fractured itself from the cup as Twilight’s hoof tightened around it, as if she was trying to crush it like a soda can. “Well, why wouldn’t they? I couldn’t have gotten through the forest all by myself without running into some serious trouble.”
Quill’s eyes drifted up and then immediately downward again. “Forgive my ignorance on the matter. It’s just that neither the Canterlot Times nor the Baltimare Bulletin printed your story with all the details that happened that night. You did tell them how this whole shindig went down, didn’t ya?” The green stallion shrugged his shoulders, rustling the ancient coat on his bony frame, as if he was trying to find something. “Need to find that story some time soon.”
“Huh?”
“I said roll, please, before my bones turn to dust atop this pillow.”
She slammed the cup down in annoyance. “Odds or even?” she said spitefully.
“Odds.” His manure eating grin grew as the dice came up as he predicted. “You’re very defensive when it comes to them, you know? Your friends, that is.” Taking his winnings, Quill grabbed up the dice and cup and put them inside a rear pocket. “I think that’s enough playing for today. Feeling any better after our last session, Sparkle?”
Twilight fumbled with her hooves, her overreaction to Quill's probing about her first day in Ponyville filling her with guilt. “Not really, no. It’s like a hot coal is stuck in my cerebellum.”
Quill nodded. Always with the fancy words, Twilight. “Well, let’s take your mind off that. Finish your story of that fateful night, of how you overcame Nightmare Moon.”
The way Twilight described how Nightmare Moon stole away with her and the petrified elements seemed like a passage written straight out a fairy tale. Most of the crucial tidbits contradicted to nearly everything he had read from the paper after the Eternal Night Incident the year before. Releasing the Elements of Harmony as each of the six ponies took on a power that they embodied, he wouldn’t believe if hadn’t heard it straight from the filly’s mouth. Really, a purifying rainbow beam? Now I’m sure she’s stringing me along here, he thought, but wisely kept his mouth shut.
“I nearly fell over in shock when I saw Princess Luna, about the size of a filly, lying in front of me. Before I knew it, the sun rose up and Celestia came down to thank us for freeing Luna,” finished Twilight.
Pursing his lips together as he absorbed everything, Quill clacked his hooves in a slow rhythm. You’re a wily one, Celly. Even after all these years, you never show your cards until a pony takes your bait. What exactly do you have in store for Twilight Sparkle? “Twilight, last time we talked we discussed your relationship with Celestia.”
Twilight gnashed her teeth together at how he phrased that.
A knock from the far end of the room halted any further discussion, as the Princess of the Sun made her way into the room. “Hope I’m not interrupting anything, Quill.”
“Hardly,” he replied, shooting her a sidelong glance. “Well, this is the end of this session anyways, so I’ll better be making my way back home.” Without another word, Quill hustled towards the door and was gone from sight.
Celestia conjured a royal sized white pillow and promptly sat down next to Twilight. “So then, how have you been feeling since you started talking with Dr. Quill?. Are you adjusting well to his ‘method’?” she asked, as she made air quotes with her hooves, but her childish antic failed to lighten the tense mood, as Twilight bit into her lower lip.
Better change the subject and get this Diamond Dog off my back. “So, Twilight, I’ve been thinking it over and I’ve decided I may have acted in haste with my decision.”
“You’re letting me go back to Ponyville?”
“No,” she replied, dashing Twilight’s hopes instantly. “However, I do believe that keeping you locked in the castle was a tad over the line. I think that reconnecting with your friends from before you went to Ponyville may help take your mind off things.” Celestia tried to reach out to Twilight, but the unicorn pulled away from her. “Who knows, maybe you can mend some broken bridges.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Twilight said, raising her voice close to the level of an angry petitioner in Day Court. Instantly, Twilight clasped her hooves over her mouth, her mane covering her eyes as her cheeks began to warm up.
Peeking through the tiny gap between her forelegs, Celestia’ remained placed, not showing any difference in her mood in the slightest. No shock or anger, not even the tiniest bit of outrage. She sat there, cool as could be.
“Sorry, Princess. I’m very thankful-”
“No, it's quite alright. All I meant was that some ponies would be glad to see your happy face again,” she said, emphasizing the word ‘happy’ with distinct intent in it.
In one swift motion, Twilight walked out of the room, gently shutting the door behind her.
Celestia sat all alone in her pristine, perfect room with only the growing silence as company. I wish it didn’t hurt so much when I’m trying to do the right thing. A familiar sensation trailed up her horn, followed by an ivory scroll materializing right in front of her muzzle. Unfurling the missive, the force of her magic nearly tore it in two. No, not again!
“She give ya a response yet, sugarcube?” Applejack prodded her element, wincing slightly as if she had been burned. The now blackened element laid on the floor, dulled in color but remaining the same from when they had first found it.
Spike tapped a long white quill on a blank piece of parchment, dotting it with several black streaks. Flopping his head down, streaks of black ink trailed across his face as he slid to the floor. The small ink bottle followed en suite, the murky contents splashing freely and soaking into the wooden floor. “Nothing.”
Crnch, crnch, crnch.
All eyes turned to the kitchen where a singed white tail was poking out. Trixie walked back into the center room, a stack of crackers and peanut butter in her magical grasp. “Whurt?” she asked, spraying spittle and crumbs on the floor.
“What’s the big idea, Trickless? This isn’t your house,” said Rainbow Dash, snatching away the crackers and peanut butter jar from her. A weak pull on her wings caused Rainbow to tumble headfirst into an adjacent bookshelf. The resulting avalanche of books buried everything but her prismatic tail, making Fluttershy wince as she began to clear away the debris.
“Trixie merely wanted something to eat. She’s had a very exhausting day.”
A lasso tightened itself around Trixie’s neck, eliciting a pitiful squeak as she got yanked off of her hooves towards Applejack. “Listen here, little missy. I’ve about had all I can stand, and I don’t think I can take anymore of your horse apples. Either saddle up and straighten up or I assure ya, today won’t end pleasant.”
“I don’t know what’s thicker, your head or that ‘hacked-cent’ of yours,” sneered Trixie. The world flipped itself around as Trixie was yanked again and slammed onto her back, the rope coiled around Trixie’s legs.
“What’s the big idea, you yokel? Trixie can’t-mph! A bright, red apple was lodged inside of her jaw, effectively muting the magician’s speech.
“That’s rather rude of you, darling.” Rarity sat on a pillow, carefully examining her wickedly warped element. A hoof file was busy grinding away at one of the thorns that had grown around the jeweled centerpiece. Metallic flakes piled up around her hooves as she continued to ground down the spiky protrusions.
Removing the file from her element, the faintest outline of a stump was all that remained of the imperfection. “Case in point, Applejack, when you give something a little bit of time, you can accomplish things without such brass tacks.”
Sproing.
The thorn returned, slightly longer than before.
“Yeah, and sometimes ya’ need to put your horseshoes to the ground and tackle your problems head on,” said Applejack.
Honesty and Generosity pawed the floor with their hooves, Rarity’s horn thrumming with magic as Applejack’s legs began to tense with pent up energy. Everypony braced themselves for what seemed like an inevitable clash, as the two once close friends came close to exchanging hoofs. Trixie struggled against her restraints to get out of the line of cannon fire, not wanting to get stamped on in the ensuing conflict.
“I hope I’m not interrupting anything important between all of you,” intervened a voice that seemed to come from everywhere at once. Princess Celestia materialized with a sunburst by the library’s front door. Immediately, everypony dropped to a bowing position out of common practice except, of course, the hogtied Trixie. “Now why would such good friends be squabbling like foals over their favorite toy at the nursery?”
Celestia drank in each detail that the elements told her from over the past few days. The argument over Spike’s decision to inform her of Twilight’s actions, causing the poor drake to cringe at Rainbow’s harsh words. What she found much more informing was how this Trixie character, currently still tied up on the floor and struggling against the rope that bound her, had returned and upstaged both Rainbow Dash and Applejack.
“It would seem that you all had quite an unexpected turn of events without Twilight around.” The implication in her words wasn’t missed as each pony grimaced at Celestia’s wordplay. Seeing how the fighting had finally been quelled, Celestia stood towering over Trixie. “Well, it’s nice to meet you face to face, Ms. Lulamoon. Though I’m sure your current predicament wasn’t exactly how either of us imagined it.”
In an instant, Trixie was freed, as the ropes around her body vanished into thin air. “Trixie is grateful, your majesty,” she said with a hint of bashfulness.
“You may want to hold onto those thanks until I’m done here. Now then, my bearers, show me your elements,” Celestia commanded.
Rarity was first, quickly tossing her thorn riddled element onto the table. Applejack flicked hers next to it, followed by Rainbow Dash. Pinkie and Fluttershy both laid out their elements without any fear of touching them. Finally, Spike placed Twilight’s tiara in front of the rest, gripping it tightly before finally releasing his hold on it. Golden sparks surrounded each of the treasures before blinking out, eliciting a worried breath from Celestia.
Rainbow Dash hovered by Celestia’s shoulder, looking down at the worn out elements. “So, Princess, what’s wrong with our elements? They need to be recharged or something?”
Ignoring the cyan pegasus’ dry humor, Celestia murmured to herself, trying to invoke even the slightest sign of life. Every single cantrip, hex, enchantment, and even a few discreet barbs, the kind that would’ve ruffled Fluttershy’s feathers if said aloud, were met with the same dead response.
“I’m afraid I’m as in the dark as the rest of you as to why the Elements have become like this. For now, it would be best to keep them locked away, at least until we can come up with a proper solution to our problem. For now, I believe there’s another situation to address. Isn’t that right, Ms. Lulamoon?”
It took all of her inner mettle for Trixie to keep herself standing as Celestia advanced on her. While her tone initially came off as motherly, Celestia’s tall stature and poise made for an intimidating presence. It felt incredibly similar to a parent chastising their foal, except this pony led the entire nation of Equestria.
“While you may have not committed any ‘true’ crimes during your first visit to Ponyville, I do think you need time to reflect on your actions, Ms. Lulamoon.” There was no indication of anger beneath her words, yet they stung nonetheless. “Given your flamboyancy and tendencies towards the spotlight, I think I’ve come up with the perfect lesson for you to learn.”
A piece of parchment and a large red quill appeared on the center table magically. The quill zipped down the paper, writing words down faster than the eye could keep up with. “As of now, Twilight is occupied with special studies in Canterlot. This leaves Spike Sparkle without a guardian, and I detest the thought of him staying all by himself.”
Everypony’s eyes began to widen as they realized what Celestia was about to say. “I think you many need a change of pace, to pull yourself away from the roar of the crowds. I’m appointing you, Ms. Lulamoon, as the substitute librarian of Ponyville, to be placed under the jurisdiction of Twilight Sparkle’s number one assistant, Spike Sparkle.”
“No. Bucking. Way. Princess!” Rainbow Dash planted herself in front of Celestia; her wings raised high like spears. “First you take away Twilight, and then you want to put the pony that’s got a grudge against her in her house? Have you lost your fluffing’ marbles?”
“Rainbow Dash! That’s the princess you’re talking to!” exclaimed Rarity as she grabbed Rainbow’s shoulders. The white unicorn tried futilely to pull her out of Celestia’s view, but the stubborn Pegasus refused to budge an inch.
Celestia laid down the paper on top of the elements. “What would you do then, Rainbow? Ponies deserve a second chance, don’t they?”
Rainbow Dash half lunged, half stepped forward at Celestia, red veins beginning to trail across her rose colored eyes as her instinctive pegasus pride burned inside of her. “Second chances should only go to ponies that don’t have a cinder-block for a brain. The only thing she’s ever done is show off and mess with ponies. Who knows what she could do next? She could take over Ponyville or something.”
Celestia tapped a wing against her side lazily. “Show off and mess with other ponies you say? That sounds a tad familiar, doesn’t it?”
“What do you mean, Princess?” said Rainbow, her scratchy voice growing a tad softer.
“From all the times I’ve had a luncheon with Mayor Mare or petitions from Ponyville, there are a few reports that stand out to me. It’s the same recurring pattern that stick out the most in each of these, I think the following words were something to the effect of ‘blue blur leaving the scene of the incident’?” Rainbow Dash’s mouth gaped open dumbly, like a goldfish taken out of its bowl.
A black book, with two large golden letters ‘E of H.’ embossed on the front, appeared from thin air. “Let’s see here... the laxative filled pies, that was a messy fiasco at last year’s annual Sisterhooves Social?” she said as she flipped through it. “Then there are several incidents, all occurring on Nightmare Night. Oh! This one is a personal favorite. Marble cakes cooked with actual marbles inside of them. I do remember Ms. Minuette petitioning a formal investigation for that.”
“Now, let’s take a step back, real quick,” stammered Rainbow Dash, who had been began to sweat up a storm.
Despite Rainbow’s attempt to save a shred of her dignity, Celestia reading on a litany of charges, making her usual invincible demeanor melt quicker than butter inside an oven. Lowering her wings from their fully extended position but keeping her assertive stance, Rainbow felt her cheeks warming and silently hoping that it wasn’t showing. “Yeah, well, everything I did was out of good spirit. Nothing was deliberately there to hurt ponies.”
“I understand your convictions, Rainbow Dash.” Recasting her magic again, the quill jotted down another line before vanishing in a tiny burst of fire. “Since you’re so dubious of Ms. Lulamoon, I’ve decided to add that each one of you are to teach her a lesson on friendship during the remainder of her stay.”
“Hold on a second, Trixie wishes to voice her concerns as well!” interjected Trixie, speaking up for the first time since Celestia’s arrival. “Trixie is a performer and she put on a show. Why does Trixie have to face punishment for her job?”
“A valid point, Ms. Trixie,” responded Celestia. “Tell you what, let’s forego all this friendship building nonsense and wrap this up in one painless action. Sounds good?”
It couldn’t be more obvious that Trixie was laughing to herself on the inside. “Of course, Princess. What is it?”
“A public apology to the good residents of Ponyville for publicly humiliating the ponies here and repaying twenty-five thousand bits in property damage from that Ursa Minor incident.” Trixie’s mouth hung so low that it looked as if her jaw had unhinged from its sockets.
“Oh, that also includes every pony or thing that you’ve upstaged over the years. Given the recent circumstances, I’d say that you’ve accrued quite a hoofful going if your reputation is anything to go by.”
Trixie curled a stray lock of her mane before addressing the princess. “Does Trixie have the right to argue her case?”
Celestia nodded. “Yes, you are entitled to a lawyer. You just have to go through a justice system that I personally revise on an annual basis, where you will be free to argue your case.”
The ensuing silence was nearly deafening. “Trixie chooses to take the responsibility as assistant then,” she said with a defeated tone.
“Wonderful.” The parchment deteriorated into a mist of golden dust, swirling upward in a spiral. “Well then, it looks like my work is done. I ask that all of you, please, give Ms. Lulamoon ample time to learn all that there is to know about friendship.”
Without a further word, Celestia was gone, leaving no trace of her presence in the library. A clearly bewildered Trixie had six pair of eyes focused on her like a pack of Timberwolves. “Well, ya heard the princess, Trixie. You’re gonna be learning how to act proper under us,” stated Applejack, taking charge of the situation.
“I think it’ll be a nice change of pace,” interjected Fluttershy, giving a flap of her butter yellow wings. “Now we can teach Trixie what real friendship is all about.”
Trixie whirled around, the remainders of her cape flapping wildly despite its reduced size, to face her wardens, in a sense, with a hair curling hiss. “Friendship is for ponies that are too weak to stand on their own four hooves.”
The bitter words carried a sense of perverse righteousness to them. “Well, this wasn’t going to be easy, doubly so considering whom we’re dealing with,” stated Rarity, readjusting her mane. “Trixie, while you may not think highly of friendship now, it’s something that everypony needs to experience.”
“Humph. Trixie has lived by her own means for a long time. What difference would it make to have friends to support her now?”
Rainbow Dash flew up into the air. “Friendship is irreplaceable, Trixie! Nothing else comes close.” Before the proud stage magician could come up with a witty retort, Rainbow vacated the library in her usual, faster than the eye could catch, manner.
“I think I’ll take over yer first lesson, Trixie,” announced Applejack. “I’ll come pick you up bright n’ early tomorrow mornin’.” The remaining ponies inside the library followed after her, only Pinkie Pie looking back at Trixie with a rather sympathetic look in her deep blue eyes.
After everypony was gone, Spike hustled over to Trixie with a manic grin. “So, as number one assistant and dragon-in-charge, I, Spike, charge you with your first task as my new underling.” Producing a rather worn broom from behind his back, he shoved it into Trixie’s forelegs. “I think the Golden Oaks Library needs a quick once over, especially the shelves where you dislodged the books. If you need me, I’ll be upstairs, doing very boss like things that can’t be interrupted.”
With that, Trixie was left to alone, contemplating her current plight, the sickening sense of how powerless she was in every sense. All she had left was a ruined wagon, a gaggle of ponies, plus one dragon to watch over her by Princess Celestia. That, and the scraps of her dignity. “Well, it can’t get any worse than this.”
Poof.
By some greater karmic force of the universe, Trixie’s cape finally disintegrated in a puff of smoke. The following, mind numbing scream could be heard from up atop Canterlot Mountain.