David Polmer looked at the ripped hawk in his hands and felt afraid.
He walked over to the window and reflected on his dangerous surroundings. He had always hated spooky Chicago Woods with its tiny, tan trees. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel afraid.
Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Howard Polmer. Howard was a violent monster with dangerous hand and gruff face.
David gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a bold, smelly, beer drinker with grubby hand and mean face. His friends saw him as a vigilant, vivacious volcano. Once, he had even jumped into a river and saved a wrong civilian.
But not even a bold person who had once jumped into a river and saved a wrong civilian, was prepared for what Howard had in store today.
The overcast teased like fighting dogs, making David angry.
As David stepped outside and Howard came closer, he could see the fine glint in his eye.
"I am here because I want justice," Howard bellowed, in a proud tone. He slammed his fist against David's chest, with the force of 100 pitbulls. "I frigging love you, David Polmer!"
David looked back, even more angry and still holding the ripped hawk. "Howard, you must think I was born yesterday," he replied.
They looked at each other with surprised feelings, like two wonderful, wandering wolves rampaging at a very sinister mission, which had metal music playing in the background and two cold-blooded uncles running to the beat.
Suddenly, Howard lunged forward and tried to punch David in the face. Quickly, David grabbed the ripped hawk and brought it down on Howard's skull.
Howard's dangerous hand trembled and his gruff face wobbled. He looked angry, his body raw like a spotless, snotty sandwich.
Then he let out an agonizing groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Howard Polmer was dead.
David Polmer went back inside and made himself a nice drink of beer.
Twilight Sparkle set down the book with an guilty smile. It had just shown up in her library and only added to her list of problems. She set the book on her night stand and tried to get more comfortable in bed. She hadn't been herself lately: political business, a future marriage, Pinkie's sex change and rumor of zombies coming from somewhere in Ponyville. It was enough to drive a girl crazy. On top of all of that she had only just gotten used to being an alicorn and having a pair of wings suddenly on her back but now she had a new problem. Her ass was huge.
It happened a week ago. She felt a little achy and sore in her legs after being out in the rain one night. She laughed to herself, some get sick with the flu while her butt just grew three sizes. She leaned back in the bed and stared up at the ceiling, where was Trixie?
A little holler came from outside her bedroom. Out from the door burst Trixie Lulamoon, wearing a lewd sweater outfit and a platter of breakfast.
"Good morning my Sweet!" She announced," Has the great and powerful Trixie's fiance slept well?"
Twilight groaned softly," If you call having a zebra's bubble butt 'nice', then yes."
Trixie levitated the breakfast to Twilight's lap. As she poured her fiance some milk for her cereal, her eyes caught an amateur looking book on Twilight's nightstand. She had a wry grin," Oh my, where did this book come from? Never before has Trixie ever seen it!"
Twilight sighed. She took up a spoon and slurped up some of the breakfast soup," Oh it's some crap fanfiction. You remember that show with the two brothers who hunt ghosts and stuff?"
Trixie rubbed her neck suspiciously," Oh I love that show! David is Trixie's favorite!"
"Well this book is dumb," Twilight used her magic to engulf the line paper bundle in a tiny flame. It popped and crackled as she munched away casually.
Trixie hid a crushed expression," Oh...that was a bit harsh...what if the author of that poor little book saw that?"
Twilght yawned,"Whatever you say dear, but I'm sore. Could you give me a massage?"
Trixie blushed cherry red," Y-you mean you want m-me to..."
"Message my ass Trixie," Twilight said with an embarrassed huff," I'd rather not pay Aloe and her bimbo sister to do it," She rolled on her belly.
Her wings slowly unfolded and removed the blankets off her body. Her navy blue pajamas fit tightly over her newly generous posterior, it was apparent that her ass was outgrowing her clothes. Trixie bit her finger with an embarrassed smile.
Trixie stepped closer to the bed. Her heart pounded in her chest as she grew nearer, the large bottom standing out like a lighthouse in a storm. Trixie finally sat on the bed beside her fiance. Her hands were trembling and her heart skipped a beat. Ever since her and Twilight were dating, she loved seeing that lilac alicorn in tight clothes. Seeing that fine butt of hers then was a gift but now it was like Christmas!
Trixie's dainty hands subconsciously grabbed the two supple cheeks. Twilight let out a happy gasp then went gruff again," Well don't just sit there! I need it...please."
In her mind Trixie was squealing with joy, a fireworks show of delight was flaring throughout her body. Twilight drooled with relief, her sore muscles felt better with every stroke. It was a bonding moment between the two lovers. Trixie expertly kneaded the two mounds like dough. She couldn't help but bit a bit rough...
Almost unknown to them someone else was watching from the window half covered by curtains. The pony had a vacant, lifeless expression like a collage kid up for four days with only coffee to keep it's sorry existence continuing. The zombie pony groaned and pawed at the window. Ir made a low groan, a very persistent and annoying one. Trixie Lulamoon was in utter bliss with messaging Twilight but Twilight herself began to grow very annoyed with the zombie at the window.
"Honey, why is there a zombie pegasas up at my window?" Twilight asked her masseuse.
Trixie was in another world entirely," I haven't the slightest idea, sugar buns."
Twilight tried to ignore the zombie at the window, Trixie however didn't even know it was there. Twilight tried to focus of the two dainty hands messaging her recently expanded caboose. How each movement loosened the tight muscle underneath, how lovely the moment was. Her bliss was kicked away when the zombie broke open the window.
Twilight's angelic wings whacked Trixie off the bed, destroying the ass messaging bliss. Trixie was sitting on the floor awkwardly seeing stars. Twilight hopped off her bed and stormed to the window. The zombie's hand was swishing around through the hole of glass it had made. Throwing the pane open she glared at the zombie, mysteriously cutting off the un-dead arm. The zombie blinked lazily.
"Shoo!" Twilight said with a spartan kick to the zombie's forehead. The mindless pony spiraled down to earth. Twilight popped her knuckles and huffed.
Trixie met with her groggily at the window," W-what the hell was that?"
"A zombie," the princess huffed," Looks like we've gotta save they day."
Trixie followed her fiance. With a worried expression, Twilight didn't seem herself today at all. She was much more gruff and tense. Going into her oddly massive closet, Twilight pulled out her spy outfit. She grimaced at how small the spandex now looked. She began taking off her pajama shirt when she noticed Trixie's gawking eyes.
"Quit! I'm changing!" Twilight huffed.
Trixie spun out of the room. Leaning against the door she caught her breath, this was going to be an exciting night...
Twilight and Trixie burst out the front door of the castle. Twilight was in her spy outfit, it's spandex clinging to her like spandex always does.
A dark pair of sunglasses was covering hertense eyes. Three bandoleers of shotgun shells were over her chest and waist, making Twilight look like a walking armory. She held a sawed-off pump action shotgun in her feminine hands. In her gritted teeth was a lit Buffalo Spirit cigarette.
Trixie wasn't as prepared as her finance. She had a brown leather jacket over her lewd sweater and tight fitting levi jeans. (cuz girls look damn fine in jeans and leather) In her now trembling hands was a 9mm glock pistol with only had a few extra clips in her coat.
The lavender alicorn walked out into the street with a dyke-ish scowl. A pair of zombies rushed from her right and one from the air. With two clicks from her shot gun Twilight aimed away. The first blast knocked a zombie to the ground without a head and shoulder. The next shot blew the other terrestrial zombie in half. The flying Zombie dived down at Trixie who squealed. She clenched her eyes and fired up at the oncoming threat. The flying zombie plummeted in a bloody mushy pile of goo.
"T-Twilight..." Trixie murmured," How many ponies do you think have turned?"
Twilight took in a big puff of her cigarette," Dunno, that's what we're about to find out," She pumped her shotgun," Let's go, it's Nightmare Night bitches!"
The crisp fall air chilled the two mares, no thanks to their attire. Their first order of business was to find survivors. The streets were empty and gloomy. Bags of abandoned candy were left on the ground, windows were cracked and doors were broken. It looked like a war zone. In the distance from another street they heard the sound of assault rifle fire. Twilight had read all of the books about guns and firearm etiquette, this princess knew her way around a gun. Inside and out.
She tossed the but of her cigarette," That's the sound of an Ak-47, Trixie. Pinkie must be in trouble!" She began jogging down the street. Her big squishy ass taking up all of Trixie's attention as she followed behind.
Trixie followed very close," How do you know that? It could be anypony!"
"She has a gun case hidden behind the counter at Sugar Cube Corner," Twilight said with a wince. Her butt was still sore from being so big and it didn't help to run. Trixie took a quick glance before checking behind them.
They both heard the sound of an angry scream and saw several zombies knocked back as if shot from a cannon. They turned the corner and saw an epic standoff; The windows from the Sugar Cube Corner hot spot were gone completely. They saw Mr. Cakes holding the gun Twilight described shooting down at dozens of zombies. The baker was obviously using a gun for the first time but he held his own, only shooting his foot once. Mrs. Cakes held their two babies close to her bosom with a terrified look.
In the street was a whole other story. There was Pinkie Pie, with the famous look of Pinkamina. She was wearing leggings ripped up from zombie claws and a dark pink shirt with blood spatters on it. She was swinging around a hammer that could only be described as an anvil on an iron pole. She wielded it like it a feather but in turned zombies into pink spats and globs of meaty goo.
"Hey Twili!" Pinkie called," A little help?" She spun the hammer a full 360 before smashing a Zombie in half.
Twilight unloaded rounds of buck shot into the remaining zombies. She blew the smoke off her gun and pulled off her shades," What's the situation here?"
The cakes family hugged each other happily, thankful of the rescue. Pinkie put her hammer over her shoulder and spat out a wad of bubblegum," We were having a party then some dumb zombie came out of the cake. Next thing we know we were up to our eyeballs in Zombies. It was such a nice party... Oh well."
Mr. Cakes and his family walked up carefully to Twilight," Oh princess, thank you! Is there anything we can do to repay you?"
Twilight grinned," I'm just Twilight. Feel free to head back to the castle, that area is clean." The Cakes waved back to their heroes on their way to safety. Twilight pulled out another cig and Trixie happily lit it. Pinkie pulled out a pack of gum, it had some sort of doctor's warning on the package.
" We should go find the others," Trixie suggested," Perhaps this zombie threat is more than we anticipated..."
Twilight puffed out the heavy smoke," Pinkie, you go locate the girls and bring them back to my castle. Trixie and I have another mission."
Pinkie nodded," Okie dokie loki!" She blew a pink bubble gum bubble," We'll all meet up at your castle, my house is a great big mess now," She said. The crazy pink pony hopped off, half ton hammer in hand.
Trixie looked around at the dozens of zombies staining the ground," How did this happen? Everything was fine yesterday...do you think this has something to do with the fact it's nightmare night?"
Twilight popped in shotgun shells into her weapon," That's what we're going to find out, honey. I have a hunch about the origin of this zombie infection. And stop asking me the same question...geez!"
Leveling big groups of the infected ponies, Twilight made her way over to a familiar part of town. From behind a fruit cart the two mares spotted Twilight's old tree house. It's decrepit look amplified the creepiness of the night. Zombies shambles around it like bees to a hive. Their dead eyed looks were difficult for any queezy mare to look at. Twilight however, had an idea.
"Trixie, dear?" Twilight whispered," Do you remember that spell i showed you?"
The light blue mare's eyes lit up," You mean..."
Twilight nodded," Now go be great and powerful out there, you sexy beast!"