Luna’s eyes darted left to right, too quick for the words on the paper to keep up. She let out a long sigh, before carelessly closing the book and pushing it off of her bed. She heard it land onto the floor below, before she let herself flop onto her pillow. It being daytime, she hadn’t anything to do. She could leave her room and socialize with the ponies either in the castle or Canterlot itself, but with the recent events that had happened… No. She was not about to do such a thing.
“Uuugh…” She let out a frustrated groan, then flipped over on her other side - away from the door. She stared at her wall intently, somehow fascinated by the colour that she saw every day and night, until she was jerked away from her thoughts by a loud knock. Well, it wasn’t actually loud, but compared to the sound in her room, or lack of, yes, it was.
At first, she didn’t answer, for she was unsure to what she should say to whoever was on the other side. But when the knocking sound returned, a voice came with it.
“Princess Luna, are you in there? It’s me, Twilight.”
Luna immediately jolted up from her bed, whipping her head around to the door. However, she still didn’t answer.
“Okay, good, just checking.”
Luna raised a brow in confusion when Twilight said that, also opening her door despite having not received an answer.
“Good morning to you too,” Luna grunted, annoyed that the mare had invaded her privacy without her say-so.
“...It’s the afternoon,” Twilight stated. Luna’s eyes widened as she glanced at the clock for the first time in, from what she had now figured out, hours.
“...Oh.” Luna blinked. “Well, um… what is it that you need so badly, Twilight Sparkle?”
Twilight stared at her for a few moments, making her uncomfortable, before answering,
“To talk to you.”
“Okay…? What about?” The dark mare shifted over on her bed and motioned her friend to come and sit, to which she accepted. Twilight hopped onto her bed and sat opposite the older princess, then opened her mouth.
“Are you okay?” she asked. Luna tilted her head, again, confused.
“What?”
“Please just answer the question.”
She squinted at the mare, before sighing.
“Of course I am, thank you for asking,” she replied, nodding to her. Twilight just deadpanned, causing Luna’s new-found smile to disappear.
“Are you sure?”
Luna scrunched up her muzzle. “Yes, Twilight. I am.”
“What about? You’re sure, or you’re fine?” Her eyes narrowed a little as she said this. Luna gave an aggressive snort.
“Yes, Twilight, I’m fine!” She tensed up, her aqua gaze slicing into magenta.
“Okay, tell me what’s wrong.”
Luna was silent. Twilight’s expression still didn’t change.
“Please, Luna, you can trust me.”
Luna’s tensed muscles suddenly relaxed. She broke her gaze away from Twilight as she breathed in, then out, hoping to cool her heated veins.
“I… I don’t understand,” she began. “Why are you asking me this?”
Twilight’s ears drooped. “Because I need to know.”
Luna bit her lip, as if she were trying to hold back any words from coming out. “I… erm… you don’t, Twilight. You really don’t.”
“And why not?” Twilight leaned forward slightly.
“You’ve already done enough - I cannot see why you need to do anything else.”
The smaller alicorn’s muzzle scrunched up as she looked away from Luna for a short while. It didn’t last long, however. She soon looked at her again.
“What have I done though?”
Luna gave a questionable look. “If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have been able to stop the Tantabus.”
Again, Twilight didn’t react. “Are you sure?”
“I… I am not sure what you mean,” Luna responded uncertainly.
“Was it me who stopped the Tantabus, or yourself?”
Luna gave a scoff and rolled her eyes. “Well, I know it definitely wasn’t me, I was the one who created it. I know it would've been disastrous if I didn't listen to you, but I needed someone to listen to first. ” She then jumped off of her bed and began to stalk around her room aimlessly. Twilight, watched her in silence, observing her every move, even if she was simply repeating it over and over again.
“What are you doing?” she asked. Luna didn’t stop pacing around, but she did keep her eyes on her friend.
“Walking.”
“Why’s that?”
“It helps me calm down.”
“Why do you need to calm down?”
“I am just a little bit stressed…”
“Going back to my previous question… why’s that?” Twilight shifted closer to the edge of Luna’s bed, but did not step off of it.
“Why what? Why am I stressed?”
The alicorn nodded.
Luna shrugged. “You mentioning the Tantabus makes me feel a little uncomfortable… but that’s okay.”
“What’s okay?”
“I mean, do not worry about my comfort. If you need to talk about the Tantabus, go on ahead.”
Luna continued to travel around her room along a non-existent path, while Twilight stared at her, seemingly contemplating on something Luna was not aware of.
“...Why?”
“Why what?” Luna had began to slow down as she focused more on the questions being asked of her.
“You shouldn’t be okay with this, Luna.” That’s when Twilight stepped off of the bed. “You shouldn’t have done any of it.”
Luna glared at her, not even realizing herself stopping in the middle of the room.
“What are you saying?”
Twilight sighed. “I know this might sound harsh to you, Luna, but… you know now that you shouldn’t have created the Tantabus, don’t you?”
“Of course not, Twilight. The Tantabus was a brilliant idea.”
She stared at her in disbelief, before Luna rolled her eyes.
“It was sarcasm. Of course I realize the Tantabus was a terrible mistake!” She narrowed her eyes. “It was clear to me as soon as it escaped!”
“Are you sure about that?”
“Sure about what? Twilight, please be more clear with your questions!” She trotted over to her, glaring down at her. “Yes, I am sure it was a bad idea. Yes, I am sure that I’m an idiot. Yes, I am sure if it weren’t for you, I would not have been able to get rid of it.” She flattened her ears against her head as far as she could. “Any other questions?”
Twilight stared calmly at the princess. “Yes, actually. Will you let me help you?”
Luna’s clenched teeth parted as she moved her muzzle away from the smaller mare’s. Her gaze interlocked with hers.
“What do you mean?”
“Luna...” For the first time, Twilight’s expression showed emotion. She stared at Luna with great concern as she raised her hoof to gently touch the other mare’s. “You can’t stay like this. You need help.”
Luna blinked, before shaking her head and freeing her hoof from Twilight. “It’s okay, Twilight. I’ve got it under control.”
“But you just said the Tantabus was a bad idea.”
Luna raised a brow. “I did.”
“So how have you got it ‘under control’?” The lavender alicorn gave a skeptical look.
“...Like I said, it was a bad idea. I know not to do it again!”
“No you don’t,” Twilight retorted, taking a step closer to Luna. The dark mare opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off by a purple wing covering it up. “It doesn’t matter that you’re not going to create the Tantabus again - that’s out of the question. The Tantabus doesn’t matter.”
“But-”
“Luna, the problem here isn’t the Tantabus. The problem here isn’t even that you created the Tantabus. It’s why you created it!”
Luna stared at her. “But… I created the Tantabus to make sure I never harmed Equestria again. I just didn’t realize it was able to escape my dream until it was too late!”
“But that doesn’t matter!” Twilight protested. “You can’t take this on alone, Luna. You have no idea how to!”
She squinted, before turning away. “Look, as long as I don’t harm Equestria again, then it shouldn’t matter.”
“I’m sure that’s what you said when you created the Tantabus.”
Luna swung her head back round to meet Twilight’s gaze, her lip now curled.
“You don’t need to rub in what I did!”
“What exactly are you talking about? Nightmare Moon, or the Tantabus?”
Her wings itched on her back before the flared up in rage.
“Does it matter?” Luna yelled. “All that matters is that I don’t do either of them again!” She then began to pace around her room again, but this time with a feeling of fear rather than stress to accompany her.
“Luna… tell me why you created the Tantabus.”
Luna, not stopping her pacing, glanced sideways to the mare.
“You know why.”
“I don’t care. Just tell me anyway.”
The alicorn slowed down, before stopping in front of Twilight.
“...I created the Tantabus so that I would remind myself not to create havoc in Equestria again. However, I never meant for any of what happened to actually happen.” She sat down on the floor, trying not to make eye contact with Twilight. “I had no idea it could escape my dream… so when it did, I panicked. I was on edge for the whole time that we were trying to catch it… while also trying my best to focus on actually catching it.” Her head drooped and her eyes closed. “Though, it was difficult putting my guilt aside, especially since it was growing by the whole situation.”
She could only hear the mare trotting over to her, and could only tell she had sat down next to her when her felt her two front hooves hug her own.
“Exactly… don’t you see Luna?” she murmured. Luna opened her eyes and lifted her head up slightly to look her. She shook her head, which prompted Twilight to keep on talking. “The Tantabus didn’t help in any way. In fact, it just made you even more guilty than you already were… which just made it grow. You can’t fight guilt with guilt, Luna. It’s like fighting fire with fire - it’ll only grow and grow, burning everything you love.”
Luna didn’t respond… she couldn’t. A pain had began to develop in her throat, making it impossible for her to speak. All she could do is slowly nod.
“Luna… why don’t you want anyone to help you?” Twilight asked her, her tone gentle. Luna pressed her lips together as she tried to swallow the aching in her throat, but it wouldn’t leave her alone. Having no choice but to reply, she gave up and opened her mouth. What came out wasn’t an answer, rather a sentence that was just a bunch of sputters and sobs mixed together. She had to take a deep breath before she could muster the word, “Sorry…”
“Don’t apologize.” Twilight smiled, offering a wing to the helpless mare. Usually, Luna would shake it off, but this time she accepted - feeling as though it would be pointless to escape. “Answer whenever you’re ready.”
Luna took a few deep breaths, before wiping the dripping liquid from her face and finding her voice to speak. “Because I… I don’t want them to get involved with my problems…” She sniffed, then continued. “They don’t deserve the weight on their shoulders… that would only be myself. It’s my problem, so why should anyone else be dealing with it?”
She soon found herself choking up her sobs again, and decided not to stop them since there was no use.
She heard a sound that sounded like a teleportation spell, then felt something soft brush across her cheek. She eventually figured out that Twilight had conjured up a box of tissues for her.
“What do you feel if they do help you?” Twilight asked her calmly. She patiently waited for Luna to find her breath again so that she could answer. Once she did, she found the strength to look at Twilight as she answered.
“Guil...ty…” Luna’s lids fluttered as she realized what she had just said, before her eyes re-filled with tears.
“Exactly,” Twilight said. The older mare tried once again to hold back her cries, but it was still no use. She continued to cry, and she couldn’t get herself to stop. She ended up leaning her head on Twilight’s shoulder. “Luna, please. You’re not helping anyone by hiding your problems. All it’s lead to so far is the exact opposite of what you’re trying to do.”
“B...But why?” Luna whimpered. “I don’t understand…”
“Like I said,” Twilight lightly pushed Luna forward so that she was in front of her. “You fighting your guilt with guilt will make it grow like a fire, which will burn everything you love.”
Luna’s lip quivered as she listened. She sniffed again and used her magic to take a tissue from the box sitting next to her so she could dry her face, until it would grow wet again.
“Luna,” Twilight spoke again, “you know what to do when there’s a fire, don’t you?”
She shakily nodded her head. “You put it out with water.”
“Yes, but sometimes that isn’t enough. What about when the fire’s consumed an entire home, let alone a whole room?”
Luna wiped the rest of the salty stains away with her hoof. “You… You call for ponies who are specialized in dealing with fires.”
Twilight nodded. “Indeed you do. And what happens when you’re in the middle of the fire? You wouldn’t just sit there, would you?”
Luna shook her head. “I would try to escape…”
“...Then why won’t you?”
Luna stared at Twilight, unsure what to say next. She had, at least, stopped crying, but she didn’t feel that much better than before.
“You know that fire can kill, don’t you, Luna?”
The mare continued to stare at her, before she reached out her hooves and wrapped them around Twilight.
“Please help me…” she rasped.
Twilight returned Luna’s tight hug. “I’ll try… but I need you to do something first.”
“What?”
“...Tell someone.”
Luna’s ears drooped. “But… I’ve already told you…”
“I know, but I can’t always be here. You need to tell someone who knows you in and out, and will know where to get you help, because I honestly don’t.” Twilight chuckled a little bit, before taking Luna’s hoof in her own and standing up. “But I know somepony who does.”
Twilight began to lead Luna out of her room. Luna reluctantly followed, but didn’t fight back - she’d feel guilty if she did. She followed Twilight down the hallway, the sound of their hooves echoing off of the walls. Eventually, they stopped in front of a large door - a door Luna knew all too well.
“Twilight… I can’t…”
“You need to.”
Luna shifted nervously. “But… out of all of us, she suffered the most…”
“Luna,” Twilight lay a hoof on her shoulder. “Any guilt she has is because of the guilt you have. When you get rid of it, so will she.”
Luna stared at her, then at the door. She hesitated - standing as still as ever - before finally lifting her hoof off of the floor and knocking it on the door three times.
“Sister? Are you in there...?”