//------------------------------//
// Chapter 21 - Facade 
// Story: Nature of The Experiment 
// by Cracked Egg 
//------------------------------//

Prince Blueblood placed the strange package he had found next to his desk.

To be honest, the blond-maned stallion wasn't quite sure where it had come from, but he wasn't going to open it until he'd had it checked first. Being a pony in a position of authority meant he was a high priority target, and he wasn't about to take any chances.

While the Prince may not have been the most adept magic user in Canterlot, he was certainly up there due to his bloodline. His ancestors were all highly trained or experienced unicorns, most of them cartographers. His quarters was an organized clutter of maps, charts, and blueprints. Blueblood's most recent project was the Hoover Dam, in which he was supposed to meet Fancy Pants soon enough, in order to discuss the costs of such an endeavor.

Blueblood's office consisted of an oak desk, a few cork-made billboards with maps on them, and some bookshelves. He wasn't as library-fixated as most of the other magic users, yet if there was something that needed to be found somewhere, then anyone would begrudgingly say that Blueblood was the pony to see about it.

As the Prince sat down in his mahogany office chair, the velvet cushion offering some comfort in his stress, he picked up a quill to begin crunching numbers. As he continued, the box began to rattle, slowly vibrating it's way across the floor. The box shook ever-increasingly, which caught Blueblood's attention. He dropped the quill back in the inkwell, and rose from his chair.

"What in Equestria?!"

The box exploded.

Blueblood fell to the floor with a yelp, as confetti rained down. Music started playing, and a pegasus mare crawled out of a box that was far too small for her. The white stallion fumbled for a moment, then righted himself as the mare giggled.

"What in the name of Celestia?! Who are you, and how did you get in here?!"

The mare was now giggling in time to the music, and had started tapping her hooves in motion as well. She spoke up, with a bit of a lisp to her voice.

"o. hiloo, i am naked pigeon!"

Blueblood was taken aback for a moment, but looked over the bizarre pony to see exactly who it was that just barged into his room.

Naked Pigeon's coat was almost skin colored, indeed making her follow her namesake. Her mane was huge, and highly unkempt, the hot pinkish-purple pile tied up in a loose bun. Her tail was in the same boat, the large trail of hair tied so that it was split in two, not unlike a bird's tail-feathers. She was constantly smiling for absolutely no reason, so much so that it looked like it'd hurt, and her eyes were even freakier.

Her corneas were bleached white, and her pupils had no iris surrounding them. The pupils were also as small as pinpricks, adding to her insane image. Worst of all, was her cutie mark, which was a half shaven pigeon with scissors held around it's neck.

Blueblood balked at the pony's appearance, unable to form a proper sentence.

"What?"

Pigeon giggled again, and pulled a clipboard out of her mane.

"okay les't c here mk?"

The Prince was completely confused, and highly irritated at all the issues that were transpiring before him. He was about to unleash a tirade upon the pegasus, but she cut him off.

"o ya! here u r, bloobloo. i tink? i caunt tel. o wheel."

She shrugged, and threw the clipboard behind her, knocking a few books from the shelf. Blueblood sputtered, but regained the ability to speak soon after.

"No, my name is Blueblood! Now, what do you want from me?"

Pigeon's eyes crossed in thought, as she slowly tipped her head back. She fell over backwards and laughed like a drunkard, then got back to her hooves with a surprisingly agile flap.

"o ya. u see, i wuas kindo told tu kell u, an i b gettin payed n guud stuf hre."

She pulled out two bits for Blueblood to see, while the Prince just stared in both terror and indignation.

"liek omg. i got paid to bits. do u know how many gum balls i can buy with that?!"

She somehow grinned even wider, turning her head to one side so only one eye was visible. To say Blueblood was unnerved would be the understatement of the century. He gulped, a little worried this mare wasn't as incompetent as she acted.

"Uh... two?"

Pigeon flung her hooves into the air, and the bits landed in her mane. Her wings flapped excitedly.

"I NO RIHGT?! OGMZ!!!"

She hopped in place excitedly, while Blueblood began to slowly edge away towards the door. Pigeon stopped hopping, and tilted her head. In the blink of an eye, the pegasus had moved to the door, blocking the Prince's only exit.

"an were do u tink ure goin misster?"

Still grinning, her brow furrowed over her eyes in a leering glare. The white unicorn backed up against the wall in sheer horror.

"bcuz i aint gonna waste dese bitz. i meen, how elshe am i gona get mah gum balls, ya?"

Blueblood felt the blood drain from his face as the mare swiftly pulled an entire chainsaw out of her mane, and jump-started it. As the chainsaw buzzed to life, he quickly searched his memory for anything that could help him. She fluttered into the air with an out-of-place grace that really shouldn't belong to a chainsaw-wielding maniac.

"o, and i no ur judgin mi becuz inm not werin muhc. soo mez gotz sometin tu saiy tu yuo, miszter!"

She pulled the cord of the chainsaw again for emphasis, and landed in front of Blueblood. As she leaned in, the Prince carefully used a spell that he hoped would save him.

"nobby nobby noob."

Pigeon raised the chainsaw over her head, but never got the chance to swing it, as the spell Blueblood was using took effect.

The room was engulfed in light.

[|||]

Fancy Pants had given up entirely on trying to see the Princesses, so he instead was now trotting down the castle halls towards Prince Blueblood's office.

He passed by a few maids along the way, one of which had nearly dropped a tray she was holding when she recognized him. Fancy had warmly greeted her, and carried on.

Upon reaching the Prince's quarters, he adjusted his bow tie, and knocked on the door.

"Oh Prince Blueblood, it's me Fancy Pants! I'm here for my appointment!"

Fancy could have sworn he was hearing some strange carnival music behind the door, but didn't spare a thought to it. He took off his monocle and cleaned it with a hoofkerchief, becoming slightly impatient. He knocked on the door a bit more loudly, but stopped when he heard the sound of a chainsaw coming from the office.

"Blueblood are you alright in there? Should I bring one of the guards?"

He didn't get an answer, but blue light blasted it's way from underneath the door, nearly blinding Fancy. A high-pitched scream could be heard, then a thunk from within. Fancy stepped back from the door, ready to take desperate measures. He turned around, and bucked the door, the wooden barrier flying off it's hinges.

Fancy ran inside, and was met with an interesting display.

Confetti was littered about the room, along with all the maps, charts, and various other paperwork. The whole place was in disarray, but he saw movement in one corner, and trotted over to it.

Blueblood was curled up, weeping slightly. A skin-colored pegasus mare was knocked out at his hooves, and the Prince would every so often try to shuffle away from it. Fancy placed a reassuring hoof on Blueblood's shoulder and shook him slightly.

"Good goddess, stallion! What has happened in here?"

The white unicorn didn't move, still catatonic from the frightening experience. Seeing it was a lost cause, Fancy turned his attention to the mare. He took notice of her cutie mark, and was somewhat disturbed by the implications. When he saw the chainsaw she was asleep on top of, that only made it worse.

"Did this mare try to attack you?"

Blueblood was still whimpering, but nodded weakly. Fancy huffed, and stormed out of the room, headed for the nearest guard. He found one on patrol down the hall just outside the office, and flagged him down.

"You there! I need urgent assistance!"

The guard halted, his stoic mask not disappearing for a moment.

"What do you need, civilian?"

Fancy was slightly offended over the fact that he, one of Canterlot's nobility, had just been called a civilian. He remembered Blueblood's predicament in an instant, and banished the thought away. To the moon, preferably.

"Prince Blueblood has just been assaulted by a would-be assassin! I need your help immediately!"

The guard lost his stoicism, but only for a moment.

"The Prince?! Show me at once."

Fancy nodded, and guided the guard back to Blueblood's office. Once the two entered it, they found the mare struggling to rise, while Blueblood was on the opposite corner of the room, cowering in fear. The guard pointed at the pegasus.

"Stop, in the name of the Princesses! I order you to stand down!"

The skin-colored pegasus paid them no mind, as she resumed her murderous aim on Blueblood. Lifting her chainsaw, she opted to just make do with a blunt weapon.

"swiggity swoogity, im comin fer ur booty!"

She limped over towards the Prince, her expression frozen in a crazed state. The guard rushed at the mare, tackling her to the ground. He summoned some hoofcuffs, and cuffed her.

"You are under arrest for attempted assassination against a member of royalty and nobility."

He summoned some rope, and tied her wings together as well, then escorted her out of the room. The pegasus groaned.

"aawww darn. now i wont b getin me gum balls now."

The guard pushed her down the hall.

"Silence, prisoner."

[|||]

I exited the library, and adjusted the backpack. It had started to chafe my shoulder, so I put on both straps and buckled it to me. MISSINGNO. followed out behind me, and I gazed up at the styrofoam filled hole in reality.

"Hey MISSINGNO., you think something important is happening in Equestria right now?"

MISSINGNO. shifted it's pixels.

"PROBABLY NOT."

I let out a whirring sigh, and pulled out the first log book from the backpack. I ran a flipper over the brown leather cover, the black ink title glistening in the dimension's light.

"Yeah, I guess so."

Rainbow Dash flew up next to us, an Indiana Jones book in hoof.

"Hey! You two nearly left me in there!"

I laughed, and patted her on the back.

"Oh come on Dash, you know we'd never forget you."

I gave MISSINGNO. a certain look, and it returned the favor.

I shook my head, and zoomed forward, yelling to the two of them as I went.

"Now come on, we have work to do!"