Tarnished Teapot awoke to the sound of voices and the heady aroma of tea. He blinked his eyes a few times, his orange tongue lolled out as he yawned, and then he looked down at his amulet, which was an ever so slightly darker shade of blue than he wanted it to be. Nothing dangerous, nowhere near that, not yet, but Tarnish, who wanted to be responsible as possible, took any darkening of the stone with great concern.
“—by studying the natural world around them, I think more ponies would gain an appreciation for science. We need an appreciation for science. While magic is fine and good, magic benefits unicorns while advancements in science benefit everypony,” Maud said in a flat monotone. “Tarnish is a good example of the advantages of studying the natural world. He knows more about geology and rocks than most first year university students. It’s all self taught and he’s learned it because he spends time with me digging through riverbeds and rummaging through rock piles.”
“I believe I agree,” Feather Quill replied. “Hooves on experience tends to make you appreciate the wonder of the world around you. Textbooks are fine, but reading about a phoenix and its habits are boring when compared to actually studying a phoenix, at least in my experience.”
Tarnish yawned again, turned his head, and saw the bright orange feather writing down everything that Maud and Feather Quill were saying. Flamingo was back in her sheath. It seemed they had slept through the night unmolested.
“Ponies have all the wrong ideas about what scientists do. Sure, plenty of them are academic scientists who live on a university and parse data. There’s nothing wrong with that. But young ponies need to understand that adventurous sorts are needed to collect that data. Science needs ponies who aren’t afraid to get dirty, or go into dangerous situations, or ponies willing to put their necks on the line and put their lives at risk while trying to unravel some mystery. Science needs detectives, science needs doers, science needs curious eyes and ears and a pony that looks at something while wondering how does it work. When I was in Las Pegasus at the university, I found that most ponies my age wanted soft, cushy jobs. They wanted safe jobs. Most ponies didn’t want jobs that would take them out into the field, much less put their lives at risk. How are we supposed to know anything if the spirit of adventure dies?”
When she was done speaking, Tarnish saw Maud look at him. Her turquoise eyes gleamed in the early morning light. Even in his not quite awake state, Tarnish could tell that Maud was in full blown science evangelist mode. A good night’s sleep had left her in a far better mood to talk and had made her far more verbose. He looked around. Birds were chirping. Morning dew sparkled like diamonds, dazzling his eyes and making him squint.
Pouring himself some tea, Tarnish realised that breakfast had not been fixed yet. After a few sleepy moments of struggling to think, he realised that both ponies were waiting on him to cook. It seemed that he had become the official cook of this expedition at some point.
“I suppose I need to fix breakfast,” Tarnish muttered.
Maud nodded, her head bobbing as her stomach rumbled. “You do it so well.”
“Fine, fine, I’m getting up. I think I’m in the mood for Fleetfoot’s Farina.” Tarnish rose from his bedroll, his dark green woollen blanket falling away from him and landing on the ground in a rumpled heap.
“Fleetfoot’s Funtime Fly Fast Farina. The official breakfast of champion Wonderbolts,” Feather Quill said as Tarnish went over to the wagon and opened up the trunk with supplies inside.
“See, there’s the problem.” Maud turned her head to watch Tarnish as well. “Ponies want to get into advertising, but nopony wants to become a field geologist.”
“I agree completely.” Feather Quill watched as Tarnish collected the supplies needed for breakfast. “So among the many skills he’s learned on the road, cooking is one of them. I do believe that Mister Teapot is becoming a renaissance pony.”
“It’s kind of necessary.” Maud turned her head to look at her guest. “Out here in the wilds, as I am sure you know, you need to have skills… you can’t just be a geologist, or whatever it is that you study. You have to be a cook. You have to have wagoneering skills. You’ll need to know basic first aid. You’ll need to know how to defend yourself and occasionally others. Out here, you can’t be a one trick pony and expect to survive.”
“I suppose you are right. I’ve never thought of it that way, and I’ve been out on the road a number of times. I’ve never stopped to think about how many skills I’ve had to develop to survive.” The earth pony professor paused and became silent, his face thoughtful. One ear twitched up and down in the faint breeze blowing up from the gorge. He glanced over at his self writing quill and watched as it flipped over to a new page in the notebook.
“It was really very nice meeting you,” Tarnish said as Feather Quill began to strap himself into his harness. “Maybe we’ll meet again.”
“You’ve been wonderful hosts.” Feather Quill smiled as he looked at Maud and Tarnish. “Thank you so much for the interview. I have more than enough material to make something special. I hope it will inspire others.”
Maud, who had returned to being the silent type, nodded in agreement. She heard a creak from the small two wheeled cart as the brake was released. As nice as it might be to pull a cart that small and light, there was no way that it would hold all of the gear she had to haul. She sighed, full from breakfast, and felt a pang of regret for all of the stuff that she had to haul around.
“Do be careful,” Tarnish said as Feather Quill took the first steps of his departure.
“I’ll be heading north and avoiding the Froggy Bottom Bogg. Mostly farmland. I think I’ll be fine,” Feather Quill replied. “I plan to keep my eyes and my ears open though. Thanks again!”
Tarnish, standing beside Maud, watched as Feather Quill made his way up the road, heading north and following the road that went along the top of the ridge. From where Tarnish stood, the road looked pleasant, shaded, with graceful trees providing a canopy over the road. The road was rutted, but not too bad, with the ruts only being a few inches deep.
Turning his head, he looked south, the direction that he and Maud would be heading. The road was also tree-lined for as far as Tarnish could see. It ran parallel to the gorge. In the far distance, in the south, Tarnish could see grey clouds drifting, clouds that looked like storm clouds. The Crack of Doom was known for generating wild storms. It was one more thing to worry about, placing the canvas cover over the wagon if a storm threatened. Tarnish, who was starting to get a seasoned eye for this sort of thing, reckoned that before the day was out there would be rain if those clouds drifted north.
Ears perking, Tarnish listened to the jingle-jangle of tack as Maud slipped on her harness. Horn glowing, he tapped the brake lever, releasing the parking brake on the wagon. He cast a final glance at the fire, ensuring that it was out.
The road was flat, so Tarnish expected to make good time. Maud appeared to be well rested, but her titanic exertions yesterday were no doubt going to be felt today. He had a good feeling about today.
“How long until we reach the Crack of Doom?” Tarnish asked.
Maud kicked the brake lever behind her, releasing the front wheels. “One simply does not walk into the Crack of Doom…” She lifted her hoof and waved it in a dramatic manner.
Tarnish rolled his eyes. Maud was in a silly mood it seemed, something that other ponies never got much of a chance to see. He grinned. “Really, how many more days?”
“Less than a week. A few days. We’re close. As we get closer, we’re going to see more magical creatures, more mutants, and potentially more danger.” Maud’s monotonous voice did nothing to convey the seriousness of the danger; if anything, her tone sounded more as though she and Tarnish would be walking into perpetual boredom.
Turning his head around, Tarnish made certain that Flamingo was stowed in such a way that she was easy to pull out. He adjusted the strap of the canteen hanging from his neck and then tapped on the brim of his pith helmet, which was now broken in. It was somewhat stained, a little beat up, his odd choice of headwear had character.
When Maud took the first step, Tarnish followed her.
Noon. The day was warm, but not unpleasant. The tree lined road had plenty of shade and there was a stiff breeze blowing up from the south. Grey clouds floated overhead, drifting north. The wagon was parked in a little clearing. Getting it pulled out of the ruts had been tricky.
Maud was sitting in the grass, resting, her eyes closed. Her ears waggled in the strong breeze and her smock rippled. Tarnish found her quite distracting. He thought about dancing with her… or perhaps something else and then dancing, but he was hungry and his stomach was growling. After lunch, Maud wanted to keep going.
Stomach gurgling, Tarnished Teapot took off from the clearing to investigate some wild grapes that he had seen. Grapes sounded delicious. Tarnish loved foraging, finding berries or wild fruit. There was nothing quite so rewarding as the juicy sweetness of wild berries, which somehow seemed far better than anything found in the store.
Mouth watering, Tarnish approached the grapevines. He almost had his lips around a cluster of grapes when he noticed some vines wrapping around his legs. He looked down, surprised to see thin tendrils engulfing him. Some of the vines had what appeared to be pulsating pustules on the ends. Tarnish could feel more vines wrapping around his hind legs and his tail. He felt his tail being pulled aside and Tarnish panicked when he felt vines slithering in places were vines should not be slithering.
Freaking out, Tarnish bolted away, ripping the vines, tearing them, and tugging at them with his telekinesis. He was free in moments and watched the severed vines writhing on the ground, while the other vines began to hide themselves away in the grapevines once more.
Now more curious than afraid, Tarnish, who stood a safe distance away, wanted to know more about the plant. He backed away, never taking his eyes off of the treacherous grapes, and his thoughts lingered on the disturbing vines that had crept up along his plot.
“So these grapes molested you?” Maud asked as she sat in the bushes with Tarnish. She glanced at him and the camera he was holding. “They look like normal grapes, but I’ll take your word for it.”
“Maud, I don’t know what they are, and I don’t see a listing for them in any of my books about plants.” Tarnish dropped his voice. “They tried to go up my bum.” Tarnish glanced over at Maud. “I feel bad about this… what if something bad happens to some poor animal as we watch?”
“Science demands sacrifices,” Maud replied in a low, steady monotone. “Sssh!” Maud lifted her hoof and pointed as a large hare came out of the brush some distance away.
Its little nose twitched and its long ears were alert for danger. It hopped forwards towards the grapes, cautious, and it took all of Tarnish’s willpower not to shout out and scare the hare away. He raised the camera, doing so in a slow, cautious manner, and watched as the hare approached the grapevines.
Beside him, Maud let out a strange sound of surprise when she saw the hare snatched by vines. As it was dragged towards the grapes, the hare cried out in fear and panic. More vines wrapped around it. Once inside the bramble-like structure of the grapes, more vines swooped in on the hare and one of the vines with the pulsating pustules wiggled closer to the hare’s backside, much to Tarnish and Maud’s wide eyed horror. Tarnish snapped a few photos and shut his eyes to avoid seeing the outcome of the tentacle invasion. He heard a loud squeak and his ears perked from the sound.
When he opened his eyes again, the vine was retreating and the hare was defecating, releasing a good amount of feces onto the soil in the middle of the mass of grapevines. The vines began to relax and unwind from the hare, letting it go. Squeaking, the hare took off lickety split, leaving the grapes behind, a few more poo pellets slipping free as it ran away.
“Tentacle grapes,” Tarnish said in a low voice. “I got it all on film. I got it all on film, I can’t believe it. That almost happened to me.”
“The grapes are self fertilising and the hare seems unharmed.” Maud shook her head. “I take back everything I said Tarnish. You’re not crazy, the grapes were going to grope you.” She fell silent as she saw that Tarnish was getting ready to speak.
“I’ve got to contact Twilight and see if she knows anything about tentacle grapes.”