Had it not been so warm and comfy, I may have cared that I looked like a drunken harlot, sprawled out on the seat. But I just couldn’t bring myself to move, lest I spoil the decadent comfort. The warm air in the train, the plush cushions beneath me… compared to that cold, hard alley, this might as well have been a suite at a five star hotel. Maybe better, given that the steady oscillations of the wheels over the rails made for a half-decent massage.
“Move over.”
My ears folded back as I groaned. Reluctantly, I sat up and scooted over next to the window. “I was halfway asleep, you know,” I said, giving out a yawn. Trixie sat down and rolled her eyes as she levitated a steaming cup of tea over in front of me. An identical teacup hovered in front of Trixie. “Thank you,” I muttered, taking the cup in my aura.
A rather sizable tray of small sandwiches floated down to rest between us. “They had a courtesy bar a couple of cars down,” Trixie said. She took not one, but two sandwiches in her aura. She devoured the first in just a couple of bites, before taking a single bite of the second one. “You should enjoy this kind of treatment while it lasts. It’s a waste to sleep through it.”
I took a long sip of my tea as I contemplated just how to tell Trixie that this sort of treatment was just about every day for me. As I thought about it, I couldn’t help but to remember those raggedy ponies scrounging for food in a dumpster and those living in the cold, dreary shacks. This basic courtesy was decadent to them. Hay, it was decadent to me and I’d only had live like that for a single night.
Replacing the cup on its saucer, I looked over at Trixie as she ate what had to be her fourth sandwich. Even before her fall from grace, she lived out of a cart. She carried it around wherever she went and it served as her home, her stage… it was everything she had, and the ursa smashed it. Just how long had she been forced to live like that? How many more ponies still lived like that?
I’ve never experienced anything like it. Surely such despair cannot be found in Ponyville… right? How many trips have I made to Canterlot or Manehattan? I can’t remember ever seeing anything like those frozen alleys. Were they not there, or did I just not look closely at what I didn’t want to see? Would I have seen them in Baltimare if not for those horrid moths?
A sandwich floated up in front of me. I looked over to see a pair of violet eyes peering out from the darkness of the hood. “They’re pretty good. Try one.”
I gave my head a little shake as my gaze retreated to the window. Whether the scenery was painfully bland or breathtaking beautiful, I couldn’t tell. My mind was far removed from such things. “I’m afraid I don’t have much of an appetite just now.”
I heard Trixie scoff. “It’s free food. How can you not want to eat it?”
“The cost is covered by the tickets,” I found myself saying without even thinking about it.
“In that case, I should get seconds,” I heard Trixie say as I felt the weight on the booth shift.
A glance back confirmed that Trixie had left. Even the tray was gone. Looking out, all I could see were ponies sitting and chatting, happy and oblivious. It reminded me of myself on my way to Baltimare, now… now my mood seemed to be locked into something far more dour. Truth be told, my attitude resembled Trixie’s. I breathed out a heavy sigh. Even Trixie seemed to be warming up, but the bitter cold in me still lingered.
A bit of movement caught my eye as the door to the next cart opened. Sure enough, a filthy, cloaked figure walked in floating a tray of sandwiches with her. Trixie kept her head down and gave the other passengers a wide berth. I couldn’t help but to notice that I was the only one to notice her. Everypony else seemed to actually try to not take notice of her. Given that Trixie wore that awful thing, I couldn’t much blame them.
A thought struck me as Trixie’s voice echoed in my ears. Don’t use my name! Was she really all that paranoid, or are the ponies around here truly that hostile to somepony who never actually did anything to them? Was that why she ceased that annoying habit of referring to herself in such a pompous manner?
Mere hours ago, I found myself absolutely certain that Trixie’s self-inflicted exile was an overreaction on her part. Now, I wondered if she actually downplayed her suffering and pain. I still couldn’t imagine the ponies in Ponyville behaving so barbarously, but I found myself ever more ignorant of the attitudes of ponies elsewhere.
I scooched over closer to the wall as Trixie approached. After she sat down, I spoke up, “I’ve been thinking, and I think I owe you a proper apology.”
“Well, you have been a big pain in my flank since I met you,” Trixie replied as she set the tray down.
I frowned. “That’s not what I meant. I meant that… that I may have held some misperceptions about you and your situation. I should’ve—should’ve, I don’t know, done something.”
“You’re not making a lick of sense,” Trixie said, taking a bite of a fresh sandwich.
Shaking my head, I sighed. “I suppose not.”
“You sure you don’t want some?” Trixie asked, floating her half-eaten sandwich in front of me.
I couldn’t help but to recoil a bit. “Uh, no. Thank you.”
Trixie took back her sandwich, finishing it off with a single bite. Ungraciously, she drew her leg across her muzzle. “So how long’s the ride to Ponyville?”
“Shouldn’t be too much longer. Less than an hour, I’d say.”
Stretching a bit, Trixie leaned back. “Maybe there’s time for a nap after all.”
“Trix—ahem—darling, I’ve been thinking, and I believe that I may have a better understanding of your… situation.” I reached over, putting a hoof on Trixie’s. “That being said, I still think you are making a mistake. Don’t abandon Equestria, even if it seems like Equestria’s abandoned you.”
Trixie lurched forward, glaring at me. “Hey, we had a deal. Don’t you dare try to back out!”
I sighed internally as I kept my expression as reassuring as possible. “Make no mistake, regardless of what you decide to do, I will give you all the bits I’ve promised you. I just… I want you to make the right decision. I know from experience that ponies can be very kind and welcoming and forgiving. Especially the ponies of Ponyville.”
“What do you know, living your pampered life in Ponyville? I’ve been all over Equestria, and I can tell you that ponies are just that way because you’re part of the upper class,” Trixie replied, leaning back against the seat. “Of course you get treated like a freaking princess.”
Failing to suppress a frown, I leaned forward in a futile attempt to look Trixie in the eye. “I’ll have you know I worked very hard to get where I am now.”
“And I guarantee you that I’ve worked just as hard as you to end up where I am now.”
Trixie’s words left me without any. It’s not that I didn’t believe her, I truly did. But how could it be that I got to live out my life’s dreams while Trixie was left, alone and unwanted, far from anything that could be considered home? I’d often heard the phrase that life isn’t always fair. I suppose I just never realized how true that can really be.
Could it be that she might really be better off starting over? Surely she can only improve from her current situation.
No. Whatever may wait across the ocean, it would be no Equestria. For all its flaws, hidden as they may have been, Equestria was still a utopia. There could be no better place to start over.
“I will concede that, perhaps, I am not nearly as well-travelled as I once thought, but I can definitely assure you that the ponies of Ponyville are of a very forgiving sort,” I said, doing my best to sound reassuring. “You could start over there. Make a name for yourself. A proper name.”
Trixie let out a sharp laugh. “Like I could even show my face in that town! Have you already forgotten how I wrecked the whole place?”
“Pfft, like you’re the only one to do that,” I replied.
Trixie leaned in again, though this time she didn’t yell. “Seriously?”
“Oh, please.” I dismissed the notion with a wave of my hoof. “The construction ponies always joke that they’ll never be out of a job in Ponyville. Just about everypony’s had a hoof in causing mayhem at one point or another.”
I could just make out Trixie’s eyebrow lurching upward through the shadow of her cloak. “Like who?”
“Who hasn’t? Pinkie Pie and that cursed pond, my little Spikey-wikey once turned into a fifty-foot tall dragon and rampaged through the town, Celestia knows that Discord causes problems every time he gets a chance, Twilight’s been known to cause a bit of trouble now and again, and hay, even Fluttershy once invited those dreadful parasprites into town.”
Trixie sat back, crossing her forelegs over her chest. “And I’m supposed to believe all this happened in Ponyville over the past few years?”
“Years? Try the past few months,” I retorted. A small smile formed on my lips. “You can rest assured, Ponyville is a very lively little town. It could be a great place for you to get a new start.”
“Hmph.” Trixie snapped her head to look away. “Well, it’s not like anypony used dark magic to terrorize everypony.”
I winced, rubbing the back of my neck. “Actually…”
A blue hoof thrusted in my direction. "Now I know you're pulling my leg."
“I most certainly am not,” I asserted. “Granted, I had no idea that the spell involved dark magic, but honestly, I didn’t much care at the time.”
Trixie withdrew her hoof. “You… really got mixed up in dark magic?”
Nodding lightly, I gave Trixie a reassuring smile. “It’s quite frightening, isn’t it? The whole time I never even realized that what I was doing was hurting everypony.” I gave a bitter chuckle. “I actually thought I was helping. If it weren’t for Spike, I don’t know that I would’ve stopped, and I’m quite certain that I would never have realized that what I was doing was wrong.”
She shuddered. Though hiding under her cloak, I could see the pain and fear in her eyes. “I-it’s like you’re somepony else entirely, and you don’t even realize you’d ever have changed at all until after it’s over.”
“Eloquently put.” I closed my eyes, doing my best to purge the memories from my mind and the fear and doubt from my heart. “The terrifying thing is knowing that it could very well happen again, and I still cannot think of a single thing I could do about it.”
“Yeah,” was Trixie’s simple reply as she hung her head.
“I try not to think about it too much.” I leaned in, trying to make eye contact with her. “After all, I know, even if something like that were to happen again, I would be saved.”
“Tch,” Trixie scoffed. “What makes you so sure?”
Pressing a hoof to my chest, I gave Trixie a warm smile. “I know in my heart that my friends would do whatever it takes to stop me.”
With a snort, Trixie got up. “Good for you,” she spat. Crossing the aisle, she laid down on the bench opposite me, deliberately facing away.
My ears drooped down as I sighed. How is it that I always seemed to make missteps when trying to get her to open up to me? If I wanted her to change her mind and stay here, I needed her to find a reason to stay. Trixie needed to know kindness. Friendship. Surely if she could experience all the wonderful things Ponyville had to offer, she just might change that stubborn mind of hers.
Of course, that would be easier said than done.